Leaving my fucking gun outside…
What the hell is wrong with me?
I unlock the door and step out onto the porch. It’s pitch black now with all the lights off, and the night is crystal clear, not a patch of fog in sight. I look up at the midnight black sky and marvel at the amount of stars in the sky. My eyes trace them, searching for the North Star, and I find it, right over my head.
I close my eyes and make a wish, knowing it’s foolish.
I take a deep breath and turn to the swing to collect my gun and head back inside.
My blood runs cold when I see the empty holster sitting on the bench.
With my heart racing, I retrace my movements in my mind, but I know I left it here.
Maybe Evie took it, I think. I take a few minutes to look around, lifting the cushions and looking under the swing.
“Goddammit,” I hiss, under my breath, turning around.
That’s when I spot it.
Resting on the seat of my bike, the metal edges of my gun glinted under the moonlight.
My heart pounds, heavy and hard in my chest, as my breath leaves me.
Slowly, I step over to my bike, my hands balled into fists.
There’s no way in hell I moved the gun over here. Evie, nor I, never stepped foot off the porch tonight.
I reach for my gun with trembling fingers, checking the bullets in the chamber. Nothing’s amiss. It hasn’t been fired or messed with.
But something is terribly, terribly wrong.
Slowly, I walk around the perimeter of the cabin, looking for anything or anyone. It’s quiet as can be, the only sounds coming from the rustling leaves of the trees dancing in the light breeze.
“If you think fucking with me is funny,” I said to the night air, “you’d better think twice about that.”
Shaken, I walked back into the cabin, grabbing my holster from the swing along the way.
I strapped it on, vowing not to take it off again.
“Not even in the fucking shower,” I murmur to myself.
I look down the hallway towards Evie’s room, pondering how much I should tell her. We’re all safe, I remind myself. Nothing happened.
But I know that’s not true.
Something is definitely happening.
I sit in a kitchen chair for the rest of the night, facing the front door.
Waiting for that something to show its fucking face.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
EVIE
Enormous waves pounded the beach below us, as we looked down off the cliffside. With Jeremiah firmly in hand, we peered over the edge together, in awe at the sheer strength of the Pacific Ocean.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything more beautiful,” I said.
“Me, either!” Jeremiah agreed.
We’d left early in the morning, right after breakfast, loading up the car with coats and mud boots and heading west, just as the sun was coming up. Shadow was unusually quiet, and maybe I was, too, but it wasn’t awkward, just…I don’t know, maybe a little sad.
I wasn’t sure what I was picking up on, but I couldn’t help but think about last night. He’d been so kind, hugging me when I was talking about my dad. I’d thought we might actually be turning a corner, even if I didn’t know where that was going to lead.
But apparently, I’d been dead wrong.
Today, despite being quiet, he was totally professional. He kept his distance, remained polite and respectful, but that was the end of it. There were no sudden flashes of charm, no subtle flirting, no inkling of the chemistry that I’d thought we’d exchanged last night.
It was unnerving, but I chalked it up to being rusty, and just concentrated on having a wonderful day with my nephew.
We’d pulled off on a turnout to enjoy the first view of the coast, so we hopped back in the car and headed to the boardwalk at Seaside. Seaside has definitely seen better days, but it’s hard to resist its cheesy, old-timey charm. After an obligatory visit to the salt water taffy store, we headed to the beach, strolling down the worn, wooden boardwalk, our smiles wide, the increasingly growing taste of salt on our tongues the closer we traveled to the water.
Waves crashed against the shore in the distance in a beautiful, violent dance. After kicking off our shoes and rolling up the legs of our jeans, we took off running, our feet kicking up sand with each sinking step. By the time we reached the harder sand, closer to the water, my knees were beginning to feel the burn. Jeremiah ran up ahead and Shadow and I struggled to keep up with him.
“Why is it always more of a workout walking on the beach, than lifting for an hour?” he grunted, flashing me a smile as we began to slow down.
“That’s a good question,” I said. “That sand is brutal.”
We stopped to catch our breath, both of us watching Jeremiah play at the rolling edge of the water, just a few feet away. He chased it backwards and forwards, doing his best to keep his feet from getting wet.
“I used to come here with my dad all the time,” I said to him, turning in a circle and taking in the scene. It wasn’t too crowded on the beach today, the weather having changed seasons, and once the wind was filled with that biting chill, most tourists stayed away. Only locals scattered the wide sandy beach today, and I could tell by the way they were dressed.
Most of them looked as if they were going hiking in a rainforest, instead of spending a sunny day at the beach, because cold, windy days like today required things like that. The few tourists were the ones standing in one place, looking like they’d just been slapped in the face with a cold, wet towel.
The wind whipped around us and I was grateful I’d pulled my hair back before we’d left the house. Shadow had not, and I was grateful for that, too, because it allowed me to watch it whip around his face, making him look like a cross between a male supermodel and a tousled-haired surfer boy.
I’d spent plenty of time looking at him today.
After a few hours, he began to come out of his quiet shell and we loosened up around each other again. It was refreshing, to be honest.
Now that I was sure he wasn’t interested in me, after his behavior last night, I was able to let down my guard a little, too. Perhaps I was even trying, once again, to be understanding of his situation and forgive him a little.
“It’s one of my favorite spots, cheesy arcades and all,” Shadow said.
I closed my eyes for a moment, remembering what it felt like back then, hanging out with my father in such an innocent, wholesome moment. I never suspected he was keeping such a huge secret from me. Not for a moment. And I never discovered why he’d lied, either. I’d probably never have answers.
“Are you okay, Evie?” Shadow’s voice was a low growl next to me. My eyes flew open and I smiled up at him. He looked at me with such concern, it was touching.
“I am,” I nodded. “I just miss him sometimes, you know?”
“And you’re angry with him, too?” he offered.
“Yes, exactly,” I nodded. It felt good to be understood.
I looked past him, checking to make sure Jeremiah was okay. I smiled when I saw him bent over behind Shadow, completely enthralled with a sand dollar that was poking out of the sand.
Shadow turned around and we watched him with two huge grins on our face.
“It’s only natural,” Shadow said. “For you to have conflicted feelings. It’s part of living, you know? Nothing’s black and white.”
“That’s very true,” I said, nodding. And deep, I thought to myself. Maybe he’s not so shallow after all.
I looked past him, glancing back up towards the boardwalk. My eyes trailed over the horizon and I stopped with a gasp.
“What’s wrong?” Shadow asked.
“Nothing, nothing,” I said, shaking my head, quickly. “I just need to go to the bathroom. Can you watch Jeremiah?” I asked. “I’ll be right back.”
“Of course,” he nodded, his smile wide. “I saw the john just up by the edge of the boardwalk.”
“Yep, I know where it is,” I said, already ten steps away. Running in the soft sand was impossible, but I managed to get there much faster than I expected. I kept my eyes on him the whole way.
The closer I got, the more I was positive it was him.
Hawk.
He stood by a stone railing, looking out at the ocean, a soft smile on his face. I waved, sure he was looking my way. But instead of waving back, he turned and wandered away, disappearing into the crowd behind him. A few seconds later, I reached the railing, my eyes searching for him.
“Yes!” I cried, when I spotted him a few yards away, threading through a group of people walking along the boardwalk. I quickened my pace, zigzagging through the crowd to reach him, but he took a sharp right turn, and disappeared from view again. He was still several yards away, and once I reached the spot where I thought he’d turned, I realized it was a small alleyway between two buildings, the edges lined with shrubbery and overgrown weeds.
My eyes trailed down it and I saw Hawk ahead, turning just at the end of it. He seemed so far away now, but I followed him, traveling down the alley, my breathing labored now. Finally, I turned at the end of the alley, which I now saw led back onto the beach, and searched for Hawk.
But he was gone.
I stood frozen in place, staring out onto the beach, my eyes blinking in confusion. Maybe I was wrong, but I could have sworn it was him. Nobody else dressed like that.
But why would he run from me? That didn’t make sense, either. If he’d seen me, he would have stopped to say hello. He’s a proper gentleman, after all.
“You’re loosing it, Evie,” I mumbled to myself, heading back to the boys. I watched them from afar as I made my way over to them. Jeremiah had found a stick and he was enthusiastically poking it into the sand every few feet. Shadow held his hand, carefully watching over him.
When he saw me coming back, he smiled, a big, wide grin that could have lit up the universe. Shadow was such a simple, pure, present soul. There were no secrets with him. There was no wondering who he was, he showed you who he was every second of the day. There was no chasing him down overgrown alleyways.
He was right here.
Staring me in the face.
Just daring me to live life to the fullest.
Why then, did I keep thinking about Hawk? He was dark and mysterious and had a hold on me that I still couldn’t shake.
It was nerve-wracking and irritating, and to be completely frank, it made me feel a little bit like a fool.
I jogged up to Shadow and returned his smile, happy to rejoin his side and listen to Jeremiah talk a mile a minute about every speck of weirdness he found in the sand.
When I had the urge to look back at the boardwalk to search for Hawk, I just ignored it and kept my focus on Shadow and Jeremiah.
That feeling of being watched the rest of the day?
I ignored that, too.
CHAPTER FORTY
SHADOW
I’d kept my eye on her all the way back to the boardwalk. When I saw her wave and then run off into the crowd, in the opposite direction of the bathrooms, I knew something was up.
But, before I snatched Jeremiah up and took off running like a madman through that deep-as-hell sand, I took a minute to take a deep breath and remind myself of all the perfectly plausible reasons she would head that direction.
Maybe she saw a friend from work.
Maybe she wanted to surprise Jeremiah with a souvenir or something.
Hell, maybe she needed a tampon. She did seem to leave suddenly. I mean, I don’t know if they provide those things in the ladies room. What do I know about that stuff? Right?
So, yeah, there were a lot of reasons for her to just run off like that.
But, just like that — before I convinced myself she was in danger and I really should take off after her — she reappeared again, just a little ways down the boardwalk.
And then, without going to the bathroom at all, she jogged back towards us.
And after that? Well, she did that thing that makes me totally stupid.
She smiled at me.
I was going to question her, but instead, I kept my mouth shut and just let it go. Because what else could I do? I had to pick my battles.
She was here, right next to me.
Safe.
My job was done.
So far, at least.
The rest of the day flew by and we were all pretty exhausted by the time we made it back to the cabin. Slowly, I drove down the winding dirt road that led to Slade’s place. It was so much further back than even the cluster of cabins that made up the Gods' compound.
It made absolutely no sense that someone would be wandering around back here, I thought, as we made our way through the darkness, the headlights of the SUV the only light for miles, other than the full moon overhead.
I’d managed to push the relocation of my gun to the back of my mind, once again reminding myself that all was fine. Whatever had happened, in the end, we were all safe.
Jeremiah fell asleep in the car, so once I’d parked in front of the cabin, I loaded him into his bed and turned off the lights in his room. When I walked back out, Evie was loading firewood into the fireplace.
I nodded approvingly, walking over to help her.
“What a great day,” she said, her eyes sparkling with happiness. “Something about that brisk ocean air that just makes you forget all your troubles, you know?”
I leaned down and began lighting the kindling under the logs, thinking about her words. Once it was going strong, I stood back up and faced her.
“What troubles do you have?” I asked, gently. She stared up at me with such open eyes, I wanted to crawl inside of them. “Besides your dad?”
She paused, shrugging, before replying, “Not too many more, I suppose. I’m truly blessed. I live in a great town, I have a great family.” Shyly, she looked up at me, and then nudged me. “I have some pretty cool friends.”
“Friends?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “Are we friends now?”
She bit her lip, shrugging again. “Maybe, if you wanna be.”
I grinned, nodding slowly. “Could be good.”
“Maybe,” she said, laughing quietly, her eyes teasing me.
“I guess we’ll see,” I replied, my heart beating quickly as I suddenly realized just how alone we were finally. The flickering firelight sparkled in her eyes, dancing over her face in a kaleidoscope of orange and crimson.
And there she stood in front of me.
A grown-ass woman. Available. Inviting.
And damned adorable…
My gaze traveled down, drinking in the plumpness of her lips. Fuck. They were right there.
Mine, for the taking.
All I had to do was bend my head, well, that’s not true, she’s short as fuck, so yeah, I just have to bend down a considerable distance, but there, at the end, I’d be rewarded with the knowledge of just how soft those lips were.
Hell, she’d probably even open them.
Allow me inside.
And it’s probably so warm. So wet. She probably tastes like fucking —
“Fucking enough, asshole!” Slade’s voice boomed through my head. “How many times do I have to tell you? Do you think I’m not serious? Do you seriously think I won’t tie you up by your balls if you kiss my sister-in-law? And don’t think for a second that I won’t know. You can’t keep a secret —.”
“Shut up!” I shouted.
“What?” Evie said, her eyes filling with confusion.
“Nothing,” I said, my arms snaking around her waist as I bent down, her eyes now wide with surprise at my sudden movement. Without another word, I pressed my lips to hers, silently begging her to respond.
It took a beat. Maybe two. But as soon as I felt her relax and her arms went around my neck, her lips softening under my own, my heart damn near broke in half.
Fuck.
It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever experienced.
It was
pure. It was pure goddamned joy.
I kissed her, holding her close to my body, blocking out Slade’s stupid voice, blocking out anything and everything that wasn’t Evie.
She kissed me back when I kissed a little harder.
And when I opened my lips, hers came with me, and our tongues met in the middle, dancing together in a piercingly sensual introduction. Heat rolled off our bodies, the chemistry between us building until it was igniting in a fiery inferno, our kiss deepening, our hands roaming wildly over each other.
A loud clanging sound broke us apart in surprise.
I grasped her arms tightly, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” she nodded. “What was that? It sounded like it came from outside.”
“Stay here,” I said, grateful I still had my gun holster on. I reached down and opened the leather snap holding my gun in and left Evie standing there by the fire.
The sound was loud and muffled, and I couldn’t figure out exactly what it could have been. But it was sure as hell something.
And whatever it was, I didn’t appreciate it interrupting such an amazing moment, for fuck’s sake.
I flung open the front door, my hand resting on my gun as I scanned the porch. There was nobody in sight, thank goodness. I didn’t really want to shoot anyone, but I would have, if necessary.
I stepped down off the porch and looked on the ground in front of the railing. A metal flower pot full of bright orange mums had fallen off the porch railing.
I reached down and picked it up, scooping up the spilled soil and setting it on the porch stairs. Looking up into the trees, a heavy breeze blew through, sending loose leaves cascading down around me. I took a few minutes to walk the perimeter of the cabin again, just to be sure there wasn’t anyone lurking around, but I came up empty, just like all the other times.
“Alright, wind,” I whispered. “I guess I can’t be mad at you, but if you could find a better time to knock shit over, that’d be great.” I secured the latch on my holster again and walked back inside.
“It was just a flower pot the wind knocked over,” I said to Evie, stopping short when I saw her curled up on the couch, already half asleep. I took a deep breath, willing my cock to go back down. I grabbed a Pendleton blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over her slowly, drinking in her beauty at the same time. Gently, I brushed my lips across her forehead, inhaling deeply to memorize her sweet scent. I was convinced now it was definitely lavender.
Gods of Chaos MC Box Set 4 Page 38