by Lori Wilde
Chase might not be the sharpest hook in the tackle box, but he knew bait when he smelled it. If he acknowledged he knew what Nathan was talking about, then his brother in turn would know he’d found out about condoms during the weekend.
He eyed his brother. “Megan bought condoms?”
Nathan chuckled. “You’re good, but not good enough. I can tell from looking at you that you and Megan did a lot more than sightsee in San Antonio.”
“Bull,” Chase said.
“It’s not bull. You’ve got that look about you.” Grinning, Nathan stood. “But I’m going to take off now before you turn mean and decide to take out your frustration on me.”
“If, like you say, I got lucky this weekend, then why would I be frustrated?” Chase figured he’d nailed Nathan’s cage shut with that observation.
But Nathan only said, “You’re frustrated because you want to be with her again, but you’re fighting yourself because you think you’re doing the right thing. You think you’re protecting Megan, when in fact, you’re hurting both of you.”
“What in the blazes are you talking about?”
Nathan only shook his head. “Some things a man has to figure out for himself.”
Before Chase could question him any further, Nathan left.
Of all the lamebrained comments to make. There was nothing to figure out. He’d made a mistake giving in to his desire for Megan, but he wasn’t going to make the situation worse by acting like some greenhorn just because they’d had great sex. He’d had great sex before in his life. Okay, maybe not nearly as great as what he’d shared with Megan last night, but close to it.
Sort of.
But it wasn’t love, and the more people tried to convince him he was in love, the more he knew he wasn’t. Love was an illusion, like a magician sawing a lady in half. It wasn’t real, and if you were foolish enough to believe, well, sooner or later, you’d find yourself holding a big bag of disappointment.
What he’d told Megan was the truth—the lust they’d felt for each other last night would fade in time. They’d taken the edge off the sexual hunger all that picturing each other naked business had created. And now, in a day or two, or certainly within a week, they’d be back to being friends. Only friends. More than likely, they’d laugh about what had happened.
And then, at last, his life could go back to normal. Close to it, anyway. Sure, it was going to take some doing to get the image of Megan naked unhooked from his brain. But he’d find a way to do it. He had to, for both their sakes.
12
“There are no details to tell, so stop asking me,” Megan told Leigh. “Besides, he’s your brother. You shouldn’t ask about things like this.”
Leigh sighed and dropped into the chair facing Megan’s desk.
For two days, the young woman had hounded Megan, trying to find out what did or did not happen in San Antonio. But since Chase had obviously told Leigh nothing, Megan wasn’t going to tell her anything, either.
“Look, I’m not looking for specifics, because he is my brother and that would be too gross for words. All I want to know is if you managed to...you know, tiptoe through each other’s tulips. If you did, then I figure I have a good chance of you becoming my sister-in-law.”
“Tiptoe through each other’s tulips?” Megan shook her head. “Where do you get this stuff?”
“He’s my brother. I can’t get more specific than that without gagging. But you know exactly what I mean. Did you paddle his canoe? Dunk his cookies?”
“Wrap his Christmas presents?” Megan suggested with a laugh.
“Exactly. Well, did you?”
All Megan said was, “I can guarantee you that your brother and I never discussed Christmas on our trip.”
Leigh leaned back in her chair. “Oh, perfect. Now I don’t know if you mean the real Christmas or if you mean you two really didn’t...stir each other’s batter.”
Megan laughed again, glad to have the chance to do something other than miss Chase. Leigh certainly knew how to lighten the mood, and even though she wasn’t going to tell the younger woman a thing, it felt good to laugh.
“What did Chase tell you?” Megan asked.
“Not a blasted thing. The man’s as silent as a mime, which ticks me off. But he’s also getting grouchier by the day, which gives me hope. And yesterday, I caught him looking at the toothpicks again, which I’m absolutely certain is a good sign.”
Leigh leaned forward again. “I don’t suppose you’ve given any thought to coming by the ranch soon with a couple of cans of whipped cream? You really need to give that some serious consideration.”
“Not likely,” Megan said, although she and Chase had done a lot of other things. But a promise was a promise, and she was going to honor the agreement they had. She was going to avoid seeing him until next week at the playground committee meeting. In the meantime, she’d simply have to settle for reliving in her mind what they’d shared.
“Ah, come on, Megan. Give it a try,” Leigh pleaded.
“I’m not coming out to the ranch with whipped cream, so stop suggesting it.” Megan picked up two books from her desk and stood. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m reading to the toddlers this week, so shoo.”
Leigh groaned and stood. “Jeez, you’re as mean is Chase. And here I am, just trying to be nice and help you become my sister-in-law. You never even thanked me for arranging for you and Chase to share the room in San Antonio.”
“I’m not going to thank you, Leigh, because that was a terrible thing you did,” Megan said. “I’ve told you time and again, Chase and I have to work through our relationship ourselves without other people butting in. I can’t force him to fall in love with me. He either does or he doesn’t. If he doesn’t, then I’ll accept it.”
As she said the words, Megan realized they were true. As much as she loved Chase, and as much as she wanted him to love her in return, maybe he’d never be able to admit to himself that he loved her.
And if that happened, she’d simply have to make new plans for her life. She wouldn’t sit around dreaming that he’d one day change his mind. No, if Chase didn’t tell her he loved her after the meeting next week, then Megan was going to move on.
“Love doesn’t work that way,” Leigh said. “You can’t turn it off like a light switch.”
“This from a woman who has never been in love,” Megan pointed out.
Leigh shrugged. “You don’t have to know how to swim to tell when another person is drowning.”
Megan appreciated her friend’s concern, but she couldn’t make Chase do something he didn’t want to do. “We’ll just have to wait and see what happens. Patience, Leigh. We both need patience.”
“I’d rather be rolled in tar and turned into a speed bump,” Leigh said with another of her trademark snorts.
Megan patted her on the arm, then went to read to the toddlers. Truthfully, patience wasn’t her strongest virtue, either. But she’d simply have to dig around and find some. Because there was no way she was going to rush Chase on this. And next week, regardless of what happened, she’d live with his decision.
“I want to thank everyone for coming to the meeting tonight. The kids are going to be overjoyed by the new playground. Don’t forget that the groundbreaking ceremony is two weeks from Saturday,” Megan said.
From his position by the door, Chase watched several of the committee members jot down the date. He wouldn’t forget it. Everything having to do with Megan stuck in his mind like a thorn these days.
He kept his gaze focused on her, although she avoided making eye contact with him all night. He knew she was waiting for him to announce to everyone that their engagement was off. The truth was, he wasn’t willing to say that until he’d had a chance to talk to her.
Things in his life weren’t back to normal. Not by a long shot. Over the past week, he’d expected his interest in Megan to wane. After all, the sexual pull between them should be satisfied.
But to his horror, his interest i
n her had become obsessive to the point where he’d been thinking about her constantly, wanting to see her and be with her again.
Now, he was finally in the same room with her. If only this meeting would end. After what felt like a couple of eternities rolled into one, the ladies of the committee wandered out the front door, most of them flashing him flirty smiles on their way by. He returned their smiles with a polite nod. Hey, for all they knew, he was an engaged man. Didn’t that mean anything to anyone anymore?
“Hey there, Chase,” Janet said, coming over to stand close enough to see his DNA. “Rumor has it that you and Megan may be about to split up. No one’s seen you together since you got back from San Antonio.” She flicked one of the buttons on his shirt with a long, red fingernail. “If that’s true, you should stop by later, and I’ll help you mend your broken heart.”
Chase had seen vultures use more finesse. He took a step back from Janet, causing her hand to fall away. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m fine. Have a nice night.”
With that, he shoved open Megan’s front door and waited for Janet to leave. She narrowed her eyes but must have decided he wasn’t kidding, because with a small shrug, she headed out. But as she passed him, she said, “You really must be in love if you’re turning me down.”
Her comment caught him off guard. Unsure how to respond, he didn’t say anything at all. Instead, he turned his attention back to Megan.
The living room was empty except for the two of them. Chase closed the front door, then walked over to stand next to her. The blood hummed through his veins; his heart raced in his chest.
She was collecting the trash, but she stopped and glanced up at him. “Hi.”
“Hi. Let me help.”
As they gathered up the dirty dishes, he admitted, “I’ve missed you.”
She gave him a sweet smile. “I’ve missed you, too.”
Her comment shouldn’t make him happy, but it did. “I’ve thought a lot about you.”
“I’ve thought a lot about you, too.”
“I think we should talk,” he said.
“I think we should talk, too.”
He groaned. “Megan, if you keep echoing me, I’m going to start reciting dirty limericks.”
With a laugh, she carefully placed the dirty cups back on the coffee table, then sat on the sofa. “In that case, I promise to stop echoing you, because I’m sure a cowboy like you knows some really dirty limericks.”
“One or two,” he agreed, sitting next to her. Now that he had her attention, he proceeded with caution, feeling like a jittery man in a nitroglycerin factory.
“I know you mentioned that after tonight we’d tell everyone we’d called off the engagement, but I was wondering what you thought about waiting for a while.”
Her startled gaze met his. “Why?”
He saw no reason not to level with her. “Because I’d like to continue our relationship for a little bit longer.”
“By relationship, do you mean our friendship?”
He held her gaze. He could tell she was confused. Heck, he was confused too. “I mean our more recent relationship.”
She frowned, obviously puzzled for a minute, then she said, “Oh, I see. You want to keep having sex.”
When she put it that way, it sounded tacky. Yeah, well, maybe it was tacky for him to suggest. But he couldn’t stop thinking about the night they’d shared. Couldn’t help wanting it to happen again even though he knew it wasn’t fair to ask.
“So rather than friends, we’ll be lovers?”
“No, we’ll be friends, too,” he said firmly. “Just a little more than friends.”
“Friends who have sex.”
“Really great sex.” A dopey grin crossed his face just thinking about it, but when Megan shot him a dry look, he wiped away the smile. This idea had made sense to him when he’d thought it over this morning, but now, seeing her reaction, he wasn’t so sure.
“Do you love me?” she asked.
Chase had expected this question, and he wasn’t going to lie to her. “You mean more to me than any woman I’ve ever met, which is why I want you in my life.”
Megan’s gaze held his as she asked, “Think you’ll ever feel anything deeper for me?”
He had to be honest. “I don’t believe in love. You know that. But I do believe that what we have is good. Hell, it’s spectacular. I think we should appreciate what we have.”
She closed her eyes, and for a second, he was afraid she was going to cry. But when she opened her eyes and looked at him, there wasn’t a tear in sight.
“As tempting as your offer is, I’m going to have to pass. I realize it took a lot for you to admit you care for me, but you’re never going to love me the way I love you. Chase, I’m just not willing to settle for second best.”
“You’re the most important person in my life. You’d never be second best,” he told her.
“Yes, I would. And I deserve better.” She stood and headed toward the door. “We want different things from life, Chase. I’m sorry, but it’s best if you leave.”
Chase scrubbed his face with his hands. He’d be hard-pressed to think of a way tonight could have gone any worse. Damn, this was exactly what he’d been afraid of all along. His friendship with Megan had been destroyed because he’d let the boundaries in their relationship blur.
“I wish I could tell you this would work out. I wish I could give you the pretty words and the promises, but I can’t lie about this. Especially not to you,” he admitted, knowing he was breaking her heart. His own heart felt more than a little squashed at the moment.
He reached toward her, wanting to offer her comfort. Wanting to soothe the injury as much as possible. But when he was close to Megan, he realized she didn’t appear heartbroken in the least. In fact, she seemed remarkably calm. Resigned. He studied her face closely, looking for signs that she was putting on an act, but she seemed fine with what he was saying.
“Megan, I know you’re upset about this, but—”
She shook her head. “I’m fine. You know, I read a book last week called Build Your Own Sandcastle—Don’t Live in His. And it said that I shouldn’t hang my dreams on those of a man. That book is right. I want a man who will love me to distraction. That man isn’t you, so I’ll simply have to keep looking.”
Chase frowned. “Keep looking?”
“Yes. Just because you didn’t fall in love with me doesn’t mean the next man won’t.”
She opened her front door. “It shouldn’t be too difficult to grab another man’s attention. I learned a lot while I was trying to get you to notice me.”
His blood ran cold. “You wouldn’t.”
“Why not?”
For one stupid second, he almost said she was engaged, but he caught himself in time. “You’re not that type.”
Her smile was wicked. “I am now. Thanks to you.”
13
“What’s wrong with you? If you get any meaner, you’ll scare the bull,” Trent said, tossing the basketball to Chase with enough force to almost knock the air out of his lungs.
“Nothing’s wrong with me. I’m fine,” Chase finally managed to say, although it was a lie.
He was miserable. Not seeing Megan was killing him. But there was no sense telling his brothers that, so he headed toward the basket. Since his mind wasn’t on the game, Nathan easily got the ball away from him.
Nathan made a basket, then turned to look at Chase. “Not only are you mean, you’re not paying attention.”
“I have things on my mind,” Chase said.
Trent looked at Nathan, then they both looked at him.
“Megan,” his brothers said in unison.
Chase grabbed the ball away from Nathan. He hated to think his brothers were right, but he knew they were. He’d spent the longest week of his life missing Megan, and now he couldn’t think straight. He was going crazy, wanting to see her, to be with her.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said. “Let’s play.�
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Nathan sat and leaned against the garage door. “No. I don’t think so. You need to talk even if you don’t think you do.”
“Fine.” Chase tossed the ball to Trent. “We’ll play one-on-one.”
Trent looked at Nathan, then at Chase, then back at Nathan. Finally, he wandered over and sat next to Nathan. “I figure I have a better chance of living to a ripe old age by siding with Nathan on this one. You need to talk about what’s happening with Megan. You’re like a big old dam. You’ll burst if you don’t reduce some stress.”
Chase glared at his brothers. This was the problem with family. They pushed when you wanted to be left alone. The last thing he needed right now was grief from his brothers. He was already feeling like a horse had tossed him. He didn’t want to fight.
“I told you. I’m fine,” he said. To prove his point, he grabbed the ball and threw it. The ball soared, eventually hitting a tree nowhere near the hoop.
Nathan and Trent laughed. “Yeah, you seem just fine to me,” Trent said. “But just in case, I think we should warn the birds.”
Chase opened his mouth to argue, but he quickly realized there was no point. His brothers were right. He wasn’t fine. Not at all.
He came over and sat on Trent’s right. “Megan doesn’t want to see me anymore.”
Nathan leaned forward and looked at him. “She broke your engagement?”
“We were never engaged,” Chase pointed out. “But we were...I mean we did become ...let’s just say our relationship has changed recently.”
Trent nudged Nathan, and they both grinned at Chase.
“I knew you two boogied in San Antonio,” Trent said.
Chase ran his hands through his hair. Maybe asking his brothers for help was a bad idea.
“Never mind. I’ve got work to do.” Chase stood.
“Settle down. Don’t go storming off. Trent and I will behave,” Nathan said, but only after giving Trent a sharp look. “Now tell us what the problem is.”
“I don’t think so. The last time we discussed my personal life while playing basketball, you two dimwits gave me advice that blew my nice, orderly life all to hell. You told me to flirt with Megan, that a kiss or two would prove to her that we had no chemistry.”