“I bet he has a huge co—”
I sputter wine out my nose before Jade can finish her sentence, and thank God, because I can’t deal with those thoughts right now. I rush to the bathroom to clean myself up, splashing some cold water on my face and neck. I have to get these thoughts of Blake Winthrop out of my head.
Six
Blake
“Vampires? That are cyborgs?” I snort. “That’s the dumbest load of shit I’ve ever heard.”
Pearl swats me playfully against the arm.
“It is not! Please, it’s no different than your obsession with throwing a ball around a field and pretending like it’s more than just a game.”
I can tell she regrets saying it the moment it leaves her mouth.
“Not…not you. I’m sorry, I know that was a big part of your life.” Her words trail off as she nervously glances around.
The last few weeks have been a bit of bittersweet torture. Pearl has insisted on following me around the property on her lunch and even after hours. I can tell her father must have let her help out growing up. It’s a good quality for an independent woman to have, but not when she smells like sweet vanilla and tastes like minty strawberries.
She’s only paid for part-time hours, but she spends more and more time out here. I can’t pretend not to notice the way her hips fill out her jeans or how I catch her watching me while pretending to have her nose buried in one of her silly sci-fi books.
“You know, you should just give the book a chance. You never know, you might end up loving it. Here, let me explain. So this warlord sells his soul to a vampire for immortality and then as time progresses from the fourteenth century to thirty thirty, he has to adapt from human form to cyborg form. So now, he not only has to worry about bloodborne pathogens but also possible viruses in his computer mainframe!”
“Okay, I gotta stop you right there. I’ve got work to do.” As much as I love to listen to her talk and even love watching how excited she gets over the most ridiculous sci-fi crap, I need to keep my distance.
“Hey, wait.” She hops off the fallen tree she was perched on. “Trevor said he was coming back to town this weekend.” She just stares at me for a moment. I had almost forgotten her eternal flame for him since he’d gone back to Chicago for a week.
“Yeah?”
“Well, I was thinking maybe you could ask him if he’s still single? Or maybe see if he has any interest in m—”
“Pearl, come on,”
“I promise this is the last time I ask!” She throws both hands up as if to drive home the sincerity of the statement. Part of me wants to tell her the truth...tell her that he has no interest in a life with her. That he’s in love with someone else and will never be in love with her. But I can’t bear to break her heart.
“Okay, I’ll ask him. But I’m not playing matchmaker or whatever harebrained plan you’ve got brewing in that head of yours.” I motion to her head before turning to walk away, but not before I see her punch a fist triumphantly in the air with excitement. This is a huge mistake.
“Hey, Mama.” I grab a beer from the fridge in the office and sit down on one of the new couches. I bounce up and down a few times. “These are uncomfortable as hell.”
“They’ll get broken in with all the new tourists we got coming, don’t you worry.” She henpecks at the keyboard while squinting at the giant computer screen in front of her.
“Oh yeah?” I savor the cold, bitter flavor of the beer.
“Didn’t Pearl tell you? We’ve got bookings all the way through September. I have to say, you two make a fantastic team. The cabins are looking amazing, and she’s a whiz at this FaceSpace and Twitter stuff.”
I flip through the channels for what feels like the four hundredth time. I can’t focus on anything. The promise I made to Pearl last week is looming in the back of my head. Trevor gets in tonight, and I told him I needed to speak to him. It’s time I tell him what happened between Pearl and me and let him know how she feels about him.
Just dumped my stuff at Mom’s place, be over there in a few?
I read the message and type out a response.
Sounds good, bring more beer.
A little while later, he walks through my front door.
“So, what’s the big news? You sounded depressed in your voicemail so I assume it’s not good.” He hands me a beer as he takes a seat across from me.
“Pearl is in love with you.”
He bursts out laughing until he sees the look on my face. “What? No. What makes you say that?”
“She told me.”
“When?” He looks so confused, and I don’t blame him.
“Well, a few times, but she brought it up again last week. She wanted me to find out if you were into her at all.”
His mouth opens and then shuts again.
“Look, I realize how ridiculous this sounds and how weirdly high school this entire exchange is, but I feel bad for the kid, Trev. She’s crazy about you, and I know you love your woman and you’re trying to work it out, so I’m kind of in a shit situation here.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t want to be the one to hurt her, man. I know it’s going to break her heart and I don’t want to be the asshole that does it.” I can feel my blood pressure rising again.
“You wouldn’t be breaking her heart. It would be on me. So, wait…I’m sure this is just a silly crush now that she’s seen me again after all these years.” He’s clearly not understanding.
“There’s more, Trev.”
“More?” He scoots closer to the edge of the chair. “Like?”
I run my hand over my face. I can’t believe I’m about to tell him this.
“She crawled in my bed one night and got half-naked and kissed me and told me she’s a virgin and asked me to take her.” The words tumble from my mouth in one breath. I fully expect a punch to land on my chin any second, but instead, I’m met with a burst of laughter.
“What? Oh my god, that is not what I was expecting you to say. Okay, man, you gotta explain.”
I take a deep breath, still a little confused and in shock. “She thought I was you. She must not have read the cabin numbers right since it was really late at night. It was when you first got to town. I tried to stop her and did before it went too far, but still, it was really damn embarrassing for her.”
He’s practically rolling on the floor now with laughter.
“She told me that she’d been in love with you since she was a kid, and she’d…she’d saved herself for you.” I feel my cheeks get red from the statement that I practically mumbled through. “So what I’m saying is, this isn’t just a little crush. She’s clearly felt this way for…well, forever it seems.”
He’s stopped laughing, and I can see he’s processing everything now. “Well, shit,” he says, rubbing the back of his head roughly. “I mean…is there any way you can let her down easy for me?”
“Seriously, man?” I practically shout as I get up from my chair. “This is just—this is a fucking joke, you know that? This has nothing to do with me, and I’ve been dragged into this immature bullshit. Handle your own shit, Trev.”
I turn to walk into the kitchen but turn back to face him.
“And for the record, she’s a good woman. She deserves more than to be blown off. You may not have ever meant to lead her on, but somehow, you did, so you owe it to her and your years of friendship to be honest with her so she can move on.” I’m pointing my finger at him just like our father used to do when we messed up again.
“Message received, Blake. You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you’ve developed a little crush on her.” A grin spreads across his face.
“She’s a kid, Trev. Don’t be a smartass.”
“A kid? She’s twenty-five, bro. Just because you’re in your thirties doesn’t mean she isn’t a grown woman. You’re deflecting.”
“Bah.” I wave my hand at him defensively. “She’ll always be that annoying little bra
t that followed you home from school every day. Besides, I don’t have time to get wrapped up in a woman. As soon as the cabin renos are done, my business will be back up and running, and I’ll be on the road two to three weeks out of the month. No good woman wants that.”
“Whatever you say, old man.”
“Just promise me you’ll let her down easy, Trevor? Set her straight?”
He gives me a nod before grabbing his keys and heading out the front door.
Seven
Pearl
“I met someone,” Jade exclaims with a smile on her face that looks like she slept with a hanger in her mouth.
“Oh my God! Tell me everything!” I grab her and pull her in for a hug. Jade and I have known each other since her family moved next to mine when we were four years old. She’s a free spirited and fierce woman, but she’s had the worst luck with men. I’ll never forget consoling her when her high school boyfriend skipped town after she gave him her virginity senior year. We don’t speak about Memphis Styles anymore. His name is considered forbidden in our vocabulary.
“Well, I shouldn’t say met, but we connected online.”
“When are you guys meeting then? Does he live near here?” My fear about her online dating is she’s just going to end up getting hurt all over again.
“He works off the coast of Southern California on a marine biology site. He only gets to land like four times a year or something, so it probably won’t be for a while.”
My heart sinks. “Jade…” I can’t help but have a look of pity on my face.
“Don’t ‘Jade’ me! You’re the one who’s been in love with someone for decades, but you’ve never had the balls to tell him!”
“I—”
She clearly isn’t done because she interrupts me. “And you keep coming up with these ridiculous ‘plans’ to make him feel the same way.” She uses dramatic air quotes around the word plans.
“Uh, okay, wow. First of all, what side of Satan’s bed did you wake up on today?”
“You know what, Pearl? I thought you’d be happy for me, but you can’t be. You only care about your stupid obsession with Trevor.” She grabs her purse off the bar, but before she storms out, she turns around one more time.
“Pearl, I say this because I love you, but it’s time to shit or get off the pot with this hopeless romantic bit. It’s getting tired and pathetic.”
“Good morning, Mayor Higgins,” I say as I set his black coffee with two Splendas on the table in front of him. He grunts without looking up at me, focusing on the parade plans he’s studying.
“What am I tackling this morning? Want me to get back to painting the big float banner?” I point behind me at the project I was working on yesterday. He just waves me off with a head nod, so I walk over to the three people standing there already working away.
“Hey, guys. Need some help?” I glance over and see Jade walk up to Mayor Higgins. She doesn’t make eye contact with me. She’s refused all of my calls and ignored all of my texts since our fight two days ago. I’ve known her my entire life. I know she just needs some time before I can apologize.
What she said stung, but maybe it’s the truth. Maybe I’ve been hiding behind this eternal flame for Trevor because I’m too scared to put myself out there. I’m too afraid to get hurt.
I pick up a brush and squat down to dip it into the paint when I hear my name. I turn around to see Blake motioning me over.
“Hey, what’s up?” I don’t know what it is, but he’s starting to look less and less scary to me. His eyes are so bright today. I watch as they glance nervously down my body before he jolts them back upward. His left hand instinctively goes to the back of his neck and rapidly rubs it up and down. I’ve noticed he does this when he’s nervous or uneasy…or maybe it’s when he’s annoyed.
“I could use your help on finishing up the float, if you want?”
I can’t help but smile; I can’t tell if this is his way of being nice or asking for help. “Do you want me to help?” I ask coyly.
“Whatever you want. Don’t matter to me,” he says before walking back outside.
“Oh, just admit it. You’ve come to enjoy having me around,” I say jokingly as I jog over to him.
We quickly get into a rhythm of him telling me what to do and me doing it. Most of my job is me holding a piece of wood so he can drill it in place. I watch the way his hands work quickly. He always seems to know exactly what size screw or nail is needed. His hands are worn and calloused, with thick fingers and knuckles, a stark contrast to Trevor’s neatly manicured fingers.
It’s like they come from two different worlds. There are certainly similarities between the two—they both have their mother’s eyes and thin nose—but that’s where it stops.
Before I realize it, my mind wanders to what a life with Blake would be like. I’d always imagined myself falling into Trevor’s arms, but I can’t seem to shake the feeling of Blake’s on me that night. I can remember the slight hint of toothpaste on his mouth, how warm and wet his tongue was as it massaged my own. I can feel a small bead of sweat start to form on my temple as I imagine what would have happened if he hadn’t stopped.
Would he have massaged my naked breasts with those hands? Would he have trailed his tongue down my neck?
“Pearl! Hey!” I blink rapidly, realizing I was daydreaming as Blake shouts my name. He’s behind me in an instant, one arm around my waist, pressing me firmly against himself as the other catches a piece of the float that had been hit loose by the piece of wood I was holding. It still manages to hit me slightly, barely missing my eye.
“You okay?” His breath is warm against my cheek, the puff of air causing a strand of my hair to rustle. My heart is beating rapidly, and I’m not sure if it’s from the proximity of his body against mine or the shock of what just happened.
“Yeah, I—I guess I wasn’t paying attention. I’m sorry.” He turns me around to face him as he brushes the hair away from my face. He looks intently at the spot where it hit me.
“It didn’t break the skin, but I’m guessing you’ll have a little bruise for a few days.” He’s still holding me. He keeps his arm around my waist. Both of my hands are pressed against his chest. It feels like his touch is about to burn through my shirt, and I can’t make eye contact with him. My breath hitches in my throat and he notices, removing his arm from me and stepping back.
“I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to invade your personal space.” I instantly regret it when his warmth leaves me. I don’t know what comes over me, but I have to physically stop myself from reaching out and grabbing his shirt and pulling his mouth to mine.
I shake my head as if that will clear my thoughts. “Did you want a soda or something? I’m going to…” I don’t finish the sentence, just point toward the kitchen of the rec area where everyone’s working on the parade plans.
“I’m good, thanks,” he says before getting right back to work.
A few hours later, I sink into the warm, bubbly water in my tub. I need to soak my muscles after all of the physical labor from today. I also need time to sort my feelings…did I just say feelings? Since when did my thoughts about Blake turn into feelings?
Since Trevor came back to town, we haven’t spent that much time together, and when we did, it was different. I expected it to be. We aren’t the same people we were in high school, no matter how much I don’t want to admit it. The truth is, I don’t even know him anymore. How would a life with him even work? I love Grand Lake, Colorado. I can’t imagine my life anywhere else.
A smile spreads across my face as I think about how things with Blake and I have progressed. He seemed so mean and gruff, but it’s just a façade. I know he’s jaded. He’s bitter about his football career. I still don’t know the details, but I know he got injured in college. I also know he’s hurt or angry, or both, about Tracey. The one who got away.
The song “Almost Lover” starts to play through my phone on the edge of the tub. “Seriously?” I say aloud to myse
lf.
Alison Sudol’s haunting voice echoes through my bathroom as the words sink in. A small tear slides down my cheek as I let out a shaky breath. It’s time to let Trevor go.
The next morning, I stop by the Bean and Bun, grab some lattes and fresh croissants, and make my way over to Jade’s apartment to apologize and grovel. She’s going to lose her shit when I tell her I think I’m falling for the other brother.
Eight
Blake
I look around at the parking lot full of cars and families gathering coolers and lawn chairs as they make their way toward the parade. I still can’t believe Pearl pulled it off. I just renovated the cabins. She put in countless hours, most unpaid, to get the word out about the cabins. We are booked solid for the foreseeable future.
I’ve come to notice how helpful and caring Pearl is. She takes the time to listen to my mom tell the same story for the third time in a row, and she stops and talks in earnest to all of our tenants, often bringing in fresh baked goods to share with everyone. Don’t get me wrong. Her incessant nagging about me drinking enough water while I work gets old, and she doesn’t seem to understand space.
I look up and see her on the porch talking to my mom. She’s pointing out the red, white, and blue banners adorning the cabins. She sees me and a soft smile spreads across her lips. It’s different than the one she usually has on her face. This one seems genuine and warm, like it’s meant for me.
I shake my head at the thought. I know better. She sees me as another conduit to Trevor and someone to talk to when she’s out here. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy having her around. She’s been a breath of fresh air in this town. She’s always been here. I just never spent any time around her. Doesn’t matter anyway. I’ll be back on the road soon with my business. I’ve been negotiating a big project in Alaska, which is set to start next month.
Grand Lake Colorado Series: A Complete Small Town Contemporary Romance Collection Page 4