Rafael placed his hand on her knee. “I’m sorry. I had no business running my mouth.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“I can’t let them say those things about you,” he said.
She rested her head against his shoulder. “It’s all right. I’m going to have to talk about it after that interview. Or everyone will think it’s drugs.”
Her phone buzzed from inside the purse at her feet. “It’ll be Sasha.”
“You want me to answer?” Rafael asked.
She nodded, too tired to waste the energy on words.
“Hey, Sasha. It’s Rafael.” He put her on speakerphone.
“What the hell was that? She looked stoned out of her mind. I swear to God, if you’ve got her hooked on something, I will personally rip your colon out with my bare hands.”
“Whoa, there. She’s not hooked on drugs.” He looked over at her with a questioning look in his eyes.
Lisa nodded. “Go ahead. Tell her,” she whispered.
“Put her on the phone,” Sasha said.
“She doesn’t feel up to talking.”
Sasha started screaming obscenities. Lisa had never heard her lose her cool. This was bad. Really bad.
“Just be quiet for a minute so I can explain,” Rafael said.
Sasha must have had to take a breath because she quieted just long enough for Rafael to start talking.
“Lisa didn’t want anyone to know, but she was at the concert in Marion County.”
“What? Lisa was there? Oh my God.”
“Yeah. And this morning at the interview one of the crew dropped some equipment and it made a huge noise. She panicked. That’s what happens to people after they’ve been through that kind of trauma. She’s not on drugs. She had a panic attack.”
“Why didn’t she tell me?”
He looked over at her again with that same look in his eyes.
“I didn’t want to make this about me,” Lisa said.
“I don’t understand,” Sasha said. “This is amazing publicity.”
“Right there. That’s exactly why,” Lisa said. “This story is about the people who lost their lives and the people who’re mourning them. Not me. The minute the press gets hold of it, the focus will change. That’s the last thing I want. Not after what I saw.”
Silence greeted her from the other side of the phone.
It was too late now. Rafael had told her secret. She would have no choice but to address it.
“We told one of the producers the truth,” Lisa said.
“The story will break,” Sasha said. “You’ll have to get ahead of this.”
“I’ll do whatever you want,” Lisa said. As long as I can go home.
“I’ll call the PR firm and work out a plan,” Sasha said. Sure, they’d work out a plan. One that involved talking about the worst day of her life on camera.
After they hung up, Lisa resisted the urge to hurl her phone out the window.
“I feel bad,” he said. “This is my fault.”
“No, it’s mine for not being able to keep it together. This part was always going to be hard for me. Now it feels impossible. I wasn’t prepared. Even without the concert, I would’ve had a hard time with interviews. My mother’s right.” She played with the bracelet on her wrist.
“Screw your mother and her opinion.”
She smiled, touched by his anger and his immediate defense of her.
“What about that makes you smile? It pisses me off,” he said.
“I’ve never had a man do that before.”
“Do what?”
“Defend me. Think about me as anything but a toy to play with.”
“Sweetheart, I’ll always defend you.” He dropped her phone back into her purse.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” Lisa said.
“Talk about the concert?”
“No. All of this.” She pointed toward her purse as the symbol of what this sudden fame had done to her life. “I’m not sure I can be the person they need me to be. I don’t know if I can be this much in the public eye. What if everything I thought I wanted is actually the opposite of what I need or can handle?”
He stroked her cheek. “You don’t have to decide anything about the business right now. You’ve been through a lot in a short period of time. Don’t forget about the work itself. Not all this noise, but the work. You’re stronger than you think you are. And you can talk about what happened and why you feel strongly about keeping the attention on the victims and their families.” He tapped the side of her head. “What’s in here is so pure and good. Talking about your anxiety will help all the others going through the same thing. You’re in a position to help people.”
Before she could answer, her phone rang again. She reached into her bag to see it was Sasha. “Hello.”
“How would you feel about a taped interview with Raquel Birdwell? She’s promised to let you take as many breaks as you need.”
“She’s the one who interviewed Genevieve, right?”
“That’s correct. I thought you’d trust her. She can do it tomorrow if you can fly to LA.”
“We’ll come tomorrow, but after that we’re flying to Iowa.”
“Iowa?”
“For my sister-in-law’s memorial,” Lisa said.
“Right. I forgot,” Sasha said.
She forgot? What kind of person forgot that?
“Sasha, after I’m done in LA, Rafael and I are going home to Cliffside Bay. I need a break.”
“Don’t you understand what an opportunity this is?” Sasha asked. “You can lead a movement. You can be a household name.”
A movement? “No, Sasha, I won’t be leading a movement. I’m an actress, not a politician. No one, including you, will make this about raising the level of my fame. Real people died. Their families are hurting. I want to work, but I won’t do it your way.”
“But—”
“No. This is my career. My life. I’ll do it my way.”
15
Rafael
* * *
That afternoon, while Lisa napped, he went down to the lobby of the hotel to make a phone call. Since the disaster that morning, he’d been thinking about what would help Lisa through this. He at first thought of Maggie or Pepper, until it occurred to him that the one person who could relate to this better than anyone was Genevieve Banks.
He found a quiet corner in the lobby. Unlike their hotel in California, this one was older, with dark woods and private nooks. He chose Genevieve from his contacts list and called.
To his surprise, she picked up right away. “Hi, Rafael. I’m so glad you called. Is Lisa all right? I saw the interview this morning.”
“She’s having a hard time. Which is why I’m calling you. She needs someone who’s been through this kind of thing to talk to her. I’m no good to her.”
“I understand completely.”
“We’re flying out to do an interview in LA tomorrow,” he said. “Then we have to go to Iowa for a family funeral, then back to LA for one more interview. Then home.”
“Let’s have dinner when you’re in town,” Genevieve said. “We can talk.”
“This will mean so much to her.”
“How about if I text her with the idea? That gets you off the hook,” she said.
“Women are devious.” He smiled.
“I’m afraid we are. Centuries of oppression will do that. I’ll text you where to meet us for dinner.”
“Great. We’ll see you soon.”
“Give her a hug from us.”
“I will.”
Next, he called Mama. She answered after a few rings, shouting into the phone. “Rafael, is that you?”
“Yes, Mama. Have you been avoiding my calls?”
“I’ve been busy.”
“Or are you trying to avoid talking about the move?”
“I’ve been busy packing.”
“What? You’re kidding me.”
“That foxy Stone Hickman called and of
fered to drive down and get us so we could see the apartments.”
“He did?” Rafael hadn’t asked him to do so. Stone must have taken it upon himself, knowing how important it was to him.
“After Stone showed us the apartments, we nearly fainted. They’re beautiful. Stone told us we were the reason you spent so much money and took out the loans. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want you to worry.”
“I am worried. But if it means that much to you, we’re coming. We gave our notices at work and to the landlord. We’ll be there by the end of the week.”
Swear to God, he almost started weeping right there in the middle of the New York hotel lobby. God bless Stone.
“Stone and Trey are coming to move us with your trucks. We decided to trash our ugly furniture after Trey told us that Kara Mullen hired him to decorate our places.”
“No, she didn’t.” How was he ever going to repay her?
“I’m afraid it’s already done. At first, we weren’t so sure. You know we don’t like charity, but that darling Kara came by while we were looking at the apartments and insisted. She’s impossible to say no to.”
“I know.” That was the truth. The more he thought about it, the more he figured she had suggested the whole bodyguard arrangement as the ultimate blind date. “Kara’s a smart lady. A little too smart.”
“No such thing as too smart, son.”
Speaking of smart ladies, he needed to tell her about Lisa. “Listen, Mama, I have something else to tell you.”
“Yes? Spit it out. I’ve got stuff to do.”
“You know I’ve been looking after Lisa, right?”
“Son, I’m old, not senile.”
“Right. Well, we’ve gotten close over the last few weeks. We’re in love.”
Silence greeted him from the other end of the phone for what felt like a solid minute.
“That beautiful actress is in love with you?”
“Yes ma’am.”
There were several sentences in Spanish he couldn’t understand.
“Mama, speak English.”
“Does she know you have no money?” she asked.
“She’s quite aware, yes.”
They’d dug deep about the differences in their incomes and then even deeper when the movie hit number one at the box office. Sasha might be a pain in the rear, but she’d had Lisa’s agent negotiate a great deal. The more money the movie made, the more money Lisa made. They’d agreed that money could be a persistent thorn in their relationship and promised to continue to talk through their feelings. He knew the problem was his, not Lisa’s. His male ego took a hit every time she whipped out her credit card.
“I’m not going to pretend that it’s easy for me that she’s rich,” he said. “I’m a man.”
“If she doesn’t care, then you shouldn’t either.”
“I’m trying.”
“You do more than try. Don’t let your pride ruin something beautiful.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Does she know what happened to you? The thing that gives you nightmares? The thing you won’t tell me?”
“Yes. She knows everything,” he said.
“And she loves you? She’s actually said the words?”
He laughed. “Yes. More than once.”
“I cannot believe it. Finally, a woman worthy of my son.”
He sighed with relief. One never knew with Mama what direction she would go.
Lisa came out of the bathroom just as he entered their suite. She looked exhausted with dark circles under her eyes and skin the color of bleached sand.
“Where’d you go?” she asked.
“I called Genevieve.” So much for being devious. “I wanted to see if she’d give you a call. Maybe give you a pep talk.”
“That was sweet of you. I’m sure she’s too busy for that.”
“She wants to meet us for dinner tomorrow night,” he said.
“No, that’s too much trouble.”
“She’s the only one who can totally understand what’re you’re going through. Please, she wants to help. Let her.”
Lisa nodded. “Sure. That’s fine.”
Her voice sounded dull and lifeless.
“You won’t believe what Stone did,” he said, hoping to cheer her up with his news.
“I already know.” She smiled and looked more like herself. “Wasn’t that the sweetest thing?”
“It was, yes.”
“I plan to tell Pepper all about it,” Lisa said.
Women were devious.
“Come here,” he said. “Let me love you.”
She moved into his arms.
“It’s all going to be okay,” he said. “I’m here.”
“I just want to go home.”
“Couple more days and we’ll be back in Cliffside Bay,” he said.
“Where we belong.”
16
Lisa
* * *
Raquel was Lisa’s favorite talk show host. When she and the girls had lived in New York, they listened to her show every morning. To meet her in person would have been a dream come true, if not for the circumstances. Now she sat across from Raquel on the set of her talk show.
Unlike the woman from the show yesterday, Raquel came to talk to her while she was in hair and makeup.
Raquel smiled at her as she leaned against the counter where a large mirror reflected several makeup and hair stations. Lisa’s makeup was done. The hair guy, who resembled a young Fabio, used the iron to create waves in Lisa’s hair.
“How are you holding up?” Raquel asked.
“I’m shaky.” She held up her hands to show her she meant it quite literally.
“This attention happened suddenly for you,” Raquel said. “It must feel overwhelming.”
Lisa nodded, too shy to elaborate. I’m new to all this. Last year no one knew my name and now all of a sudden I can’t go outside without people trying to snap my photo.
“I remember when it started happening to me,” Raquel said. “It’s not quite as wonderful as I thought it would be.”
“That’s right.” Lisa glanced down at her hands, newly manicured. Her skin glowed under the lights. If only she felt the way inside that she looked on the outside. “I’m shy. I have trouble talking when I know the camera’s rolling. I mean, if I’m being myself.”
Raquel ripped a page from the legal pad she carried under her arm. “Here are the questions I’m going to ask. Take a look and think about what you want to say before we tape.”
Lisa thanked her. “In college, they used to tell us to look into our partner’s eyes if we got lost or nervous.”
“Great,” Raquel said. “Do that with me. We can tape a section and do it again if you’d like to add something. And I can do wonders in editing.” She placed a hand on her arm. “Just be yourself. You’ll be fine.”
Rafael came in, carrying two iced coffees, one black and one with cream. The tightness in her chest lessened at the sight of him.
Lisa introduced them and gratefully took the coffee. Twenty minutes later, she was on the set enduring yet another bout of powdering from the makeup artist. Rafael rushed up with something in his hand. “I forgot to give you this. It’s for if you get nervous.” He placed a stress ball in her hand. “Just squeeze it when you feel scared.”
Raquel appeared. Having changed into a yellow dress and black pumps with full makeup and hair, she looked like she did on television.
“You ready, kiddo?” Raquel asked.
Lisa held up the stress ball. “Is this all right to have?”
“Sure. They’ll keep the cameras focused mostly on our faces and upper torsos. And even so, there’s no reason to hide it. If it helps you, people will understand.”
Seconds later, the cameras rolled.
Raquel began with the opening question from the sheet of paper. “You were reluctant to come forward and share your experience of what happened that day. Can you tell me why?”
&nb
sp; She looked into Raquel’s eyes. Reassured by their warmth, she took a deep breath and answered. “I didn’t want the story about the victims and their families to be diluted by the fact that a celebrity was there. So often television focuses on celebrity rather than the people who really matter.”
“I find that refreshing. A lot of people would’ve taken it as an opportunity for publicity, especially at this stage in your career.”
“I feel awful talking about it now.”
“Why are you?” Raquel asked.
“I did an interview earlier that didn’t go well. It appeared as if I were high or intoxicated.”
“And that wasn’t the case?”
“No. I’ve worked hard for a long time, always waiting for my big break. Nothing in the world would cause me to jeopardize this, especially not drugs.”
“Can you share with us what happened?”
“Since the concert I’ve been anxious, jumping at every loud sound. There was a bang somewhere in the studio and I panicked. I thought it was a gunshot.”
“Over the years, I’ve interviewed many who were involved one way or another with a mass shooting. It’s not an unusual response. Some say they never recover.”
Lisa swallowed and fought tears. She squeezed her ball. “I hope that’s not true.”
“Can you tell us a little about that day?”
She squeezed the ball harder. “I can’t tell you much more than the other people who’ve been interviewed. I was standing next to a woman named Cheryl when it started. She was a stranger, but we’d chatted briefly before Wyatt started playing. We were both there alone. Her husband had gotten them tickets to celebrate her birthday, but at the last minute he was called into work. My best friend couldn’t come because she was sick. When the sound of the shots started, I thought at first it was a speaker malfunctioning. Seconds later, I realized it was gunfire coming from somewhere above us.” Her voice wavered. “Cheryl and I started to run, but she fell. She’d been shot. I knelt to try and help her, but it was too late. She was already gone. Then a man, a former cop, dragged me out of there. After that, I don’t remember much until my friends came to pick me up.”
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