by Jewel, Bella
"Ashlyn?" he asked breathlessly. "What are you doing here?"
Could this moment be any more embarrassing? I cursed myself under my breath and turned back around to face him. Josh still had the girl in his arms, but his entire focus was now on me.
"I brought dinner. I made lasagna,” I muttered and dropped my eyes. I felt my cheeks flush. I made lasagna. I needed to leave. "Sooooooooo, I guess I'll leave you to it. Just remember to wrap it, you know, be safe." My eyes actually dropped to his crotch as I spoke.
Please, God, tell me that I didn’t just tell him to wrap his dick and be safe? A billion cool points just vanished, and mortified was nowhere near what I felt. Since when had I become a stuttering mess when I saw Josh with a chick that I knew he’d end up balls deep in later in the night?
I didn't bother waiting around. I rushed through the crowded living room, then escaped down the empty hall and into my apartment. The moment I got into the safety of my space, I leaned against the door and sighed loudly. Suddenly, the desire to eat had disappeared, and all I wanted to do was drink red wine and hope to God it would erase the memory of giving Josh Crawford sex education. Mr. Sex himself certainly didn’t need advice from the girl who couldn’t even keep a fucking boyfriend.
I placed the food on the counter and grabbed my phone, desperate for girl talk. As I scrolled through to Eden's number, the screen lit up with a text message, and Josh’s name appeared.
Josh: Come back to my place.
Me: No thanks. I have Lasagna to eat and wine to inhale.
Josh: You come here or I come there.
Brilliant. Just brilliant.
Me: Josh, I’m not going back there.
Josh: Fine. I'll be there in five.
I grabbed the bottle of red and headed to the kitchen to find my biggest wine glass. Maybe I could just drink straight from the bottle. After lifting it to my lips, I decided to keep some ladylike qualities, so I poured the red until it almost overflowed the biggest glass I could find. It was liquid courage at its best.
I was halfway through my first glass when the front door opened and a disheveled Josh stepped through. My eyes roamed over him as he stood just inside my apartment. The jeans he wore were clinging to his muscular thighs, and his white shirt hung enticingly against his well-defined body. Casual Josh was alluring, especially when he had crazy messy hair and light stubble gracing his strong jaw. This Josh was so different from the businessman Josh that appeared every day, but I knew each served a very different purpose to my hormones.
I was a hot-blooded woman. I had a stomach that would fill with butterflies when a handsome man offered a compliment, a spine that shivers cascaded down if a good-looking man gave me a wink, and a libido that certainly knew my friend was a treat to look at, so I understood why women couldn't resist him. But my pride lay in the fact that I seemed to be the only one that could resist him. I, Ashlyn Hart, who handed him her virginity, had never gone back for seconds. Now that deserved a medal and a day on the calendar dedicated to me. Ashlyn Hart Day had a nice ring to it. All I knew was that when Josh Crawford put on the moves, panties disintegrated, as well as women's good intentions. I had witnessed it more times than I could count.
"You better not smell like sex," I teased with an accusing brow.
He strolled through my apartment until he was standing before me. "I didn't have sex."
"You were practically having sex on the balcony."
A smirk filled his lips, and he leaned in a little too close.
Immediately, I was slayed by his taunting scent.
"Did I have my cock out? No. There was no sex happening."
I choked on my wine before composing myself. "You are a charmer, Josh Crawford."
He shot me a wink for good measure, then leaned around my static body and grabbed the bottle of wine from the counter. He poured a glass for himself, then topped mine up before pulling the cover off the still-warm lasagna.
"Are we eating inside or on the balcony?" he asked, as he pulled out two plates from the overhead cupboard and found some clean cutlery.
I couldn't find my words. Suddenly I’d become mute. Had he seriously left a party at his apartment and the promise of a one-night stand with a girl who would put out for him to come here and eat lasagna on a Saturday night? I had to be dreaming.
"Ashlyn. Focus. Inside or outside?" he asked in amusement. “Did you just pinch yourself?”
I rubbed my arm where I had actually just pinched myself to make sure this was indeed real. "Uh, inside."
He grabbed the lasagna, plates, and cutlery, then headed for the living room. I found the ability to walk, followed him to the couch, and sat beside him. I didn't say a word as he walked back to the kitchen to grab the bottle of wine and our glasses.
When he returned and I finally found my voice, I asked, "Josh, what are you doing here? You left the promise of sex for my Lasagna? Are you feeling okay?” I put my hand on his forehead.
“You are such a smartass. I’ll have you know that sex isn’t the only thing I want.”
I couldn’t stop myself from bursting with laughter. “You are hilarious. Do you not realize I have seen you in that exact position numerous times before? If I hadn’t turned up, you would be having sex with her.”
"Can we please not talk about who I may or may not have had sex with? I have lasagna to eat. I’ll give you a tip: make your lasagna for any guys you want to fuck, and they’ll be putty in your hands."
"I'm becoming a lesbian, remember?"
"Oh, that's right. How could I forget?" He rolled his eyes at me, completely disregarding my decision.
5
Josh
After rushing into the foyer, coffee in one hand and my phone held to my ear by the other, I greeted the receptionist with a smile and headed for the elevator. Monday morning blues had arrived, and I was heading for a horrendous week of meetings, hiring new staff, and working on the acquisition of a west-coast-based magazine.
I marched into my office, fired up my laptop, and took a seat behind my desk. I had been employed by Anderson Publications since I finished my business degree, and I was on the management team of Bangs and Beats, alongside Ky. My role was managing the editorial team, where I oversaw the layout and features before they went to the final viewing with the editor. My job was to make it look, feel, and seem as enticing as possible. I loved my job, and it seemed to provide me with what I needed: access to women, money, and the opportunity to travel.
Ky knocked on the glass wall beside my opened door and strolled in. I tapped in my password as he folded his body into the visitor’s seat across from me and rested his crossed ankles on the edge of my desk. The ding of emails filling my inbox sounded, and I lifted my eyes to give my attention to my brother.
“How was your weekend?” he asked, knowing full well how it started. “Have you and your dick recovered from Friday night?”
“You are such an asswipe.” I laughed. “Me and my dick are just fine. As for the rest of the weekend, it was good.”
“Did you see Ash at all?”
“Yeah, I went to her place and had dinner on Saturday night.” I gazed down at my laptop as the ping of a new email came through.
Lachlan Johnson’s name flashed on my screen, and my fists clenched violently. Who the fuck did he think he was? My eyes narrowed in on the subject line: Ashlyn Hart.
“Josh.” Ky’s voice boomed and dragged my attention from the email I was obsessing over.
“Huh? What?”
“Are you free for lunch? I need to discuss something with you and Ash.”
“Uh . . . yeah, sure. Where? What time?”
I was entirely distracted, and my curiosity as to what Lachlan could possibly have to say was gnawing at my every nerve.
“I just sent her a text. She will be here at noon, then we can head to Antonio’s.” He rose from the seat, put his phone in his pocket, and worry covered his face as he stared at me. “Are you okay? What the hell is going on with you?”
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“Yeah, I’ve just got a lot of work to do this morning.” I gave him a half-assed answer, and he thankfully took it.
The moment Ky shut the door behind him, I pulled up my emails and clicked on Lachlan’s name, desperate to see what he could possibly have to say to me. I never responded to his last email, the one asking if I had seen Ashlyn, the same email that made me aware that she was back in the states, and he would have to know that I would not be looking for any friendly interaction considering I was aware of what he did.
From: Lachlan Johnson
To: Joshua Crawford
Subject: Ashlyn Hart
Asshole, what have you said to her? Stay away from her, Josh. I mean it. Stay the fuck away from her.
I read it five times to make sure I had actually just read his pathetic attempt at intimidation. My heart swelled with pride because, with a question like “what have you said to her,” I knew Ashlyn had confronted him. How I would have liked to be a fly on the wall when that conversation happened. I closed down his email and refused to give him the satisfaction of replying. I knew the time would come when I’d be face to face with him, and that’s what kept my anger simmering just below the surface. The time I could tell him what a fucking asshole he was.
My attention had to be solely on Ashlyn. Seeing her façade on the brink of crumbling in her apartment had shot me to life. There weren’t a lot of people who knew that Ashlyn often hid behind the confident woman she wanted the world to see. I had seen her bruises rise to the surface on numerous occasions; bruises that reminded her that she was on her own . . . or so she thought. We had many arguments over the years where I begged her to talk to me, but she always shut me out. She’d always retreat, and I wouldn’t see her for days. It was as if she only wanted me to see her as the woman she thought I wanted her to be. Maybe it was my fault, because I’d always paid extra attention when the sassy, confident, balls-to-the-wall woman came out to play. In reality, I wanted all of her: the sass, the insecurities, the fears, and the triumphs.
Now I knew those bruises would start to darken and play on the surface again, but this time I wouldn’t be letting her retreat. I was done with allowing her to retreat. I was done with her thinking she was on her own.
As the day progressed, I got lost in a sea of emails and checking editorial submissions, and completely overlooked the time. Ky’s visit was all but forgotten. Brother of the Year right here. My head was throbbing with information and, when my desk phone rang, I nearly jumped out of my chair.
“Yep,” I said sharply, still tapping away at my laptop and typing up the next issues feature details.
“Josh, Ashlyn has arrived and wants to see you before she meets Ky.”
As soon as Ashlyn’s name was mentioned, I stopped typing and looked at the closed door. “Sure, send her in.”
The door opened minutes later, and Ashlyn sashayed in with a smile that finally reached her eyes. I leaned back in my chair as she crossed my office, wearing skinny jeans that hugged her curves like a second skin, and a fitted shirt that gave me a glimpse of her taunting cleavage. Her smile never disappeared as she pulled out the chair and took a seat across from me.
“Good to see you smiling, Ashy.” I hummed in acknowledgement of her smile, which only encouraged it to grow.
“Well, I had this guy come over on Saturday night and tell me how much my lasagna rocked, and then we drank too much wine. What’s not to smile about?” she asked in a singsong voice.
“Geez, he sounds like a keeper.”
“I guess it just depends on how many more compliments he feeds me.”
“Have I told you how beautiful you look today?” I shot her a wink and her cheeks flushed.
She laughed loudly. “You are such a player.”
“I know the game, Ashy.”
“I am very aware of that. I’ve seen you play it plenty of times,” she said with a smirk.
It was true. Ashlyn had come out for Friday night drinks with Duke and I every so often and, even though I didn’t want to, there were times when an opportunity presented itself and I had to take what was offered, whether it be in the form of a blond, brunette, or redhead. But now, sitting in my office, I wanted to erase all of those memories she had. I didn’t want her looking at me like I was a player; I wanted to prove that I was more than that; that there was more to the man than where he put his dick. I wanted her to see me as the guy she met when we were nineteen; the guy that sacrificed a future with her for the sanity of his brother. Fuck, this was getting too intense. I ran far away from the memories of the past and came flying back to the future.
“Are you doing okay? Has Lachlan contacted you?” I asked, knowing that sometime in the past thirty-six hours there was a conversation of some sort.
“He called me after you left. Obviously, I had a belly full of wine so I answered the call and told him exactly what I thought and how much of an asshole he was. I didn’t hold back. Then I had a little cry. Then I got angry at myself for crying. By the way, he knows you had dinner with me.”
I won’t lie. Knowing that she dropped my name to that asshole felt un-fucking-believable. “He sent me an email earlier, warning me to stay away from you.”
“He did not.” She gasped, wide eyed and completely shocked. “You cannot be serious?”
“Sure did. He is full of empty threats, Ashy.”
Her eyes fled from mine and she shifted in her seat. Something had just flashed through her head.
“Can we please keep the whole Lachlan thing between us? I don’t want to have to deal with questions and feeling like I fucked up because I didn’t listen to people's warnings just yet. I will owe you big time. I’ll do whatever you like.”
“You didn’t fuck up,” I stated matter-of-factly. “So get that thought out of your head.”
She huffed in response, and crossed her arms defensively over her chest. “Josh, we both know I did.”
“Lachlan fucked up. There was absolutely no fucking up on your end, so stop thinking like that.”
“You’re very stubborn and bossy these days.”
“Should I be telling the guy that came to your place that you like bossy and stubborn?” I asked, taunting her.
“Well, if he was bossy and stubborn, would he really be concerned about what I thought?” She raised a suspicious brow in my direction and it encouraged me further.
“He’d respect you and devote himself to you. You’d get exactly what you needed, but he would always guarantee that he also got what he wanted.”
Yep, we were officially flirting. I always had fun flirting with Ashlyn—making random taunts and inappropriate comments—but she had never taken the bait. Now, however, in a crazy turn of events, she was starting it. It was entirely unexpected, and a massive fucking turn on.
Ashlyn moved forward and leaned over my desk, her eyes loaded with a suggestive undertone and her lip pulled between her teeth. I waited eagerly to see what she was going to divulge next, but nothing came. The door suddenly burst open and Ky appeared, so Ashlyn immediately sat back in the seat.
“I was told you’d arrived,” Ky said happily as he took in Ashlyn. “You two ready?”
“Yep, just let me close up and I’ll be good to go,” I replied.
Ashlyn lifted her bag from the edge of my desk, pushed back the chair, and moved toward the door with Ky. Her eyes flashed to mine in silent plea of the conversation we never finished. The fact that she wanted to hide what Lachlan did certainly didn’t sit well with me. The world should know the extent of his fuck up. I diverted my attention back to my laptop, finished off the email I was halfway through, and pushed back from my desk. Then I grabbed my wallet from my top drawer, shoved my phone in my pocket, and was ready to go.
After falling into step beside Ky, we headed for our favorite diner, Antonio’s. Ky chatted animatedly, and there was no doubt in my mind what this little lunch outing was about. I loved that he thought he could keep things from me, but I was that annoying little brother
who knew everything about his big brother.
Antonio’s had a flurry of lunchtime revelers. Ky entered and headed to our usual booth, while I held open the door for Ashlyn. Her eyes flashed to mine before she dipped under my arm and passed. I leaned in until my mouth hovered over her ear, and she immediately halted as my body pressed close to her side.
“You have my word. It will remain between you and me,” I said in a low voice.
I stepped away, and she turned to face me. Her eyes traced my features, then she rose on her tiptoes and placed the softest of kiss on my cheek. “Thank you, I owe you one,” she whispered, her words laced with gratitude.
We moved through the diner, waving at Antonio as we passed the kitchen, and headed toward Ky. Burgers, fries, and sodas soon covered the table, while laughter filled the air. Ashlyn appeared to be in her element. She was joking and messing around, teasing me, and encouraging Ky to do the same. It was as if everything was fine and dandy in her life. It was refreshing to see, and gave me some hope that maybe Lachlan hadn’t won.
“I have something I need to share with you both,” Ky announced, after popping the last bite of burger into his mouth.
Here we go.
Ashlyn leaned in eagerly, and I watched my brother closely and with great pride as he got ready to say the words I had been anticipating for months.
“I’m going to propose to Eden.”
“Oh my god.” Ashlyn’s shriek caught the attention of every single person in the diner, as her eyes were overcome with tears. Abruptly her hand shot out and grabbed mine, squeezing it hard and completely taking me by surprise. I hissed when pain shot up my arm as she excitedly dug her nails into my now-throbbing hand. Fuck me, where did she get this strength?
“Josh, they’re getting married. Eden and Ky are getting married,” she cried, completely ignoring Ky, who looked on with sheer excitement.
“Fuck, Ashy! I need my hand to work.” I laughed, and she immediately dropped it as if I was burning her, then her eyes widened briefly in shock at what she had done.