by Jewel, Bella
“Leave her alone, Josh.” Eden laughed casually, as if I was dealing with his usual teasing and not his suggestion of touching me again or sharing his lavished memories of our recent tryst. She slipped her hand into mine and pulled me across the yard away from Josh. My heart thundered in my chest. I hoped Eden couldn’t feel how clammy my hands were, but good lord, I couldn’t ignore the wetness pooling between my legs from his dirty words.
“Ky and I have a surprise for you tonight,” Eden announced in a singsong voice that was bubbling with excitement. She was glowing with delight, and her eyes shone with eagerness at whatever the surprise was. I couldn't think of anything they could surprise me with besides . . .
“Are you pregnant?” I screeched, causing the people in close vicinity to direct their attention to us.
“Jesus, Ashlyn. No, I am not pregnant!” Eden shot back. Her hands swung wildly around as she twisted to the crowd that gawked at us. “Nothing to look at here, people. No baby on board.”
I laughed at her response, and grabbed her hand to gain her attention. “Well, if you aren’t pregnant, then what could you possibly do that will surprise me?”
“Give it time, my friend. It’s going to completely rock your world. We have been planning it for a while now.”
I was about to push for more info, but was halted by the arrival of Tori. She rushed across the yard and pulled Eden in for a hug, before offering me air kisses. All I could think about was her admission of giving Josh a blow job, and how it had been all a lie.
“Sorry I’m late. My flight was delayed, and then the driver got lost. But I’m here now, and I’m so ready for tonight. Where’s that handsome fiancé of yours and his gorgeous brother?” Tori asked and started looking around the backyard for Josh and Ky. “There they are. If you’ll excuse me, I just have to go and speak to Josh about a text he sent me today.”
Tori rushed away, and I watched as she walked straight up to Josh and wrapped her arms around him. Immediately, his eyes flashed to mine and I looked away. I would ignore the feeling of my stomach sinking, and I would certainly not get lost of thoughts of why Josh was texting her. I turned my back to them and got lost in a mindless conversation with Ky and Eden. Colby soon joined us, and rested his arm around my shoulders. Tori and Josh were soon forgotten, as Colby told stories of life on the road and his latest run in with a groupie called Shannon, who had decided that she was destined to have his children.
“Looks like Tori has found her guy for the night.” Colby laughed beside me, and I inwardly groaned.
“Those two have history,” Eden declared. “She definitely has her claws into him, and won’t stop until she has him.”
I couldn’t stop myself from looking back to Josh and Tori. They were standing close to each other, though Josh had his hands jammed into his pockets. She rose on her tiptoes and dropped her mouth to his ear, and I could only imagine what she was saying to him. Josh, like he knew I was watching, looked over at me, and our eyes locked fiercely onto each other. I never had a problem with Tori before, but now I felt myself wanting to pull him away from her and tell her that I knew all about her fake admission of blowing him.
“I’m going to chat with Aunt Carole,” I muttered and removed myself from Colby’s embrace. Crossing the backyard, I felt myself being watched. I knew who it would be, but I ignored the pull of looking back at him for now.
* * *
The engagement party was in full swing. Drinks flowed, people danced, and everyone was celebrating Ky and Eden. The beginnings of a slight champagne buzz started hitting me as I sat by the pool with Aunt Carole. Her infectious laugh and stories soon made me forget all about Josh and Tori, and it was welcomed. I lost control when I was around him, and control was something I couldn’t lose again. To everyone else I was still in a relationship with Lachlan. No one other than Josh knew that we had broken up weeks ago, and certainly no one knew that I had lost control with Josh.
“Oh, would you look at that,” Aunt Carole gushed beside me as she looked at the dance floor. My ovaries made themselves known, and felt like they exploded within me at the sight before me. There was no way I could stop myself from watching Josh dance with his grandmother. The love that they shared for each other was radiating from them as they laughed after he slightly dipped her. I couldn’t take my eyes off him, and I watched in silence as they moved around the impromptu dance floor as if they were the only two people dancing. Josh’s eyes flashed to mine, and a smile tweaked on his lips. I watched with interest as he leaned down and whispered something into Grandma Crawford's ear. Her face erupted into a full blown smile, and she looked straight to where I was standing. I watched as Josh gently linked his arm with his Gran before they crossed the yard and made their way to me. My nerves shot to life, and I couldn’t help but smile at the look of happiness spreading across her face. She was one of those elderly people that seemed to shrink as she aged. She was seriously the cutest grandma ever. She had curly white hair that almost looked purple, and she always wore her favorite brightly-colored eye shadow. She was a rocking grandma.
“I hope my boys have told you how gorgeous you look tonight, baby doll,” she said when she reached me. I leaned down and kissed both her cheeks, as warmth hit me at the sound of the nickname she had given me the very first day we met.
“And I hope they have told you how beautiful you look, Grandma Crawford. I love that dress. Very stylish and very hip.”
She beamed with pride and ran her hands over her dress, before focusing her attention squarely on Josh. “Joshua, why haven't you snapped up this beautiful girl yet? I want to see you with a girl who is good enough for my grandson, and Ashlyn is the one. I don’t want to be too old to enjoy it, so hurry up,” she stated matter-of-factly with a stern look and a snap of her fingers.
He smiled warmly at Grandma Crawford, before his eyes fell to me. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“That’s a good boy. Now I must go and find that son of mine and demand a brandy.” Grandma Crawford, seemingly happy with his answer, shuffled over to where Eden and Ky were talking to guests, and left me alone with Josh.
“Come dance with me,” his husky voice said, more demanding than asking.
“We are being watched,” I whispered.
“By who?”
“Tori.”
Josh shifted his stance and looked over his shoulder. Tori was standing on the other side of the yard with Eden, but her gaze was focused entirely on Josh and me. The moment she saw Josh looking, she smiled, and I swear she pushed her boobs out.
“I don’t care who’s watching us. I want to dance with my date, even though she’s been avoiding me most of the night.”
“You’ve been busy.”
“Come dance with me, Ashy.”
I chanced a look at the hand he held out and sighed. The thought of being in his arms as our bodies swayed together was overpowering, and something I couldn’t deny that I wanted. I was failing miserably in the promise I made to myself that I’d stay away from him, that I would avoid any situations with the potential of making me lose control.
My hand joined his as if magnets were pulling us together, and Tori was forgotten. The warmth it provided was overpowering, and immediately I panicked at the sensation it sent through me. On instinct, I began to pull away, but his hold tightened, taking away any chance to escape. As he led me to the impromptu dance floor, I smiled at Grandma Crawford, who looked at us with a wistful expression.
When we reached the middle, Josh wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped mine around his neck.
“So why have you been avoiding me?” he asked softly. “And don’t use Tori as an excuse.”
“She has been hanging off you all night. I am not a fan of being a third wheel.”
He leaned down until his breath hit my ear. “You are number one, always.”
The music floated through the air, and silence fell between us while my brain screamed at me. You are number one. As our bodies began swaying along
to the seductive tempo, I lost all sense of control and reason. Being in his arms, feeling the firmness of his body pressed against mine and his words penetrating my deepest memories, made me lose my inhibitions. My fingers found the edge of his hair on the back of his neck, and my nails ran through the thickness. He groaned softly, and his eyes slammed shut as he shifted his body closer to mine. My hips pushed into his, and his fingers dug into my skin through the satin covering my body in silent warning.
“Remember where we are, Ashy,” he muttered in a thick voice. “Even though it feels fucking incredible and I want to taste those sweet lips of yours again, I know I can't.”
Realization slammed into me, and my hands jumped, moving to a safer, less tempting, and less risky place on his back. With a sigh, I dropped my head to his shoulder and closed my eyes as I got lost in the movement.
“You aren’t encouraging my desire to give up men.” I took the chance to inhale the mixture of his aftershave and soap that I adored. “Maybe London men will be less tempting.”
“You aren’t moving to London,” he said sternly.
“I am.”
“Nope.”
“Josh, I am moving to London. You have no say.”
“I might not have a say, but your heart and body will, and my plan is to make you completely forget about the fucked up idea to run away to London. Now if we don’t stop talking about this, and if you keep firing that sassy mouth of yours, I’m going to want to rip your dress off your body and fuck you in front of my family to show you how serious I am.”
I gasped and pulled my face away from the confines of his shoulder. This was the first time he mentioned anything about fucking me. My stomach twisted, my heart hammered, and my breathing died. His eyes burned into mine with a fierce look of possession and ownership. I couldn't stop myself from dropping my gaze to his lips. My champagne buzz was causing me to think of highly-inappropriate things, like wanting him to rip my dress clean off my body, slide into me, and make me forget all my fears and insecurities that revolved around him.
“You think I don't want to fuck you?” he asked disbelievingly, and took a step back to stare at me.
“Stop saying that.” I dropped my gaze and focused on the collar of his shirt.
“Stop saying what? I’m not going to hide the fact that I want inside you,” he whispered with intent and purpose. The heat of his breath on my ear and the closeness of our bodies collided fiercely and sent me into an uncontrollable spin of emotions. He wanted inside of me. He wanted to claim me again. Oh, how I had wished to hear those words so many times over the years, but now I was cynical. I was bruised and damaged. I had given up all thought of having Josh, because we were so different now.
I dropped my head back to his shoulder and his arms tightened around my waist. This wasn’t a conversation to be had in the middle of his parent’s backyard with his grandma watching closely. As the second song began, our bodies swayed in perfect sync. My head was still resting on his shoulder, his arms were snaked around my waist, and his hands were positioned on the small of my back. I didn’t think anything could shatter the comfort I felt right at that moment. I was so devastatingly wrong. Josh’s body went rigid and his arms tightened almost to the point of pain around me. My head shot up with a gasp and I looked at him. His features turned fierce and stone-like, and his eyes had transformed into almost pure black. Hatred was beaming off him as he looked over my shoulder, and it confused the hell of me.
My confusion didn't last for long.
“What the fuck?” Josh hissed and removed his arms from around my waist. It all happened in a flash. He pushed me behind him protectively, and didn’t let go of my hand. Just as I was about to curse at him for nearly ripping my arm out of its socket, I saw my past collide headfirst with my present.
Lachlan was walking through the crowd, his eyes latched firmly onto me, with Ky and Eden on either side of him. He walked with a cocky step, his lips smirking and arrogance beaming off him. This could not be happening. My reflexes ignited and I squeezed Josh’s hand tightly in a silent demand to gain some of his strength to face the unknown.
“Surpri—” Eden started, but was interrupted by Josh’s fury.
“Get the fuck out of here!” Josh roared and pushed away from me, leaving me standing with my mouth agape and my fists clenching at my sides. Eden jumped out of the way as Josh barreled toward Lachlan. Shock registered on her face, and she immediately looked at Ky before her eyes flew to me.
Ky rushed at Josh, just as he reached Lachlan. “What the fuck, Josh?” Ky demanded, confused at his brother's reaction to seeing who he thought was my boyfriend.
Josh didn't answer Ky, as his entire focus was squarely on Lachlan. He got in his face and stood chest to chest in an intimidating stance. Josh shifted forward quickly, and pushed his shoulder into Lachlan’s chest, sending him stumbling backward. Lachlan refused to break his stare on me, and the longer it remained the more on edge I became. I was beyond angry—I was furious, I was murderous. I glared at him with every ounce of disgust I had.
“What are you doing here?” Josh demanded. I had never witnessed Josh this furious before. The vein in his neck was pulsating, and the air around him thundered with the intent to destroy Lachlan.
Finally, Lachlan looked away from me and turned his glare to Josh. “I was invited here by my friends to surprise my girl.”
My fury reached a fever pitch. How dare he come here and say this shit. I felt my eyes moisten with unshed tears. Not tears of sadness or remorse, but rather complete and utter frustration. I wanted this over.
“Your friends don't know what you did, now get the fuck out of here and stay away from her before I make you regret stepping foot in town.”
I hadn’t seen Eden move, and it wasn’t until she grabbed my hand that I knew she was beside me.
“What’s going on?” she asked softly. “Ashlyn? Talk to me, babe.”
“He . . . ” I stammered, but halted as soon as Lachlan began to speak.
“They have no clue, do they? It seems like you’re having second thoughts, sweetheart. If you couldn't tell your best friends . . . ”
“She told me, asshole,” Josh stated harshly.
Thankfully, we were away from the majority of the guests, and Sue and Mike seemed to realize that this wasn’t the kind of conversation people needed to see. I didn’t want my dirty laundry put on display in front of Josh’s family.
“Lachlan, can you just go? I will call you tomorrow and we will talk. This isn’t the time or place for this little chat.” I found my ability to speak and sucked back every display of emotion that wanted to show itself. I managed to appear somewhat calm.
He scoffed and shook his head, dismissing everything I said. “I’m going home with you tonight, Ashlyn. The minute Ky called and organized this little surprise, I knew we weren’t over, and I knew you’d still want me. Third time seems to be a charm. I’m going home with my girlfriend after we enjoy the engagement party of our friends.”
He could not be serious. Had he completely forgotten the events of Sydney, and the fact that he said he wasn’t my boyfriend? I had to be dreaming, because this was some kind of messed up reality.
“You lost the right to call her that when you shoved your dick into other chick’s pussy,” Josh spat.
“Get off your fucking high horse, Josh. Everyone knows you fuck anything that breathes, so don’t stand there and try and preach to me what is right or wrong.”
“Lachlan, why exactly are you here? Did you not hear anything I said in Sydney? Have you forgotten that I didn’t answer one of your calls or reply to one of your texts?”
“I’m here to get what is mine. You always come back to me and, now that I’ve had my fun, I thought I’d come to collect. I left you once, and you came back. I fucked around behind your back both times, and you still came back to me. I’ll always own that little pussy of yours, so I’m here to claim what’s mine.”
Bile rose from the pits of my stomach.
His spiteful words reopened wounds I had tried to cover with what was clearly the flimsiest of Band-Aids, because now they were gushing with fresh blood. The fact that he was so open about cheating, about having absolutely no regard for my feelings, sent tremors of unworthiness crashing through me. I hated him. I despised him. How could I have been stupid enough to allow myself to be caught up in his web of deceit?
“Would someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?” Ky demanded, and everyone turned to him. Blake and Colby had joined us, and were barricading Eden from the scene unfolding. Ky was staring at me, impatiently awaiting answers.
I crossed the distance between us and took hold of his hands, and his aggravated stare softened slightly. “I’m so sorry. I should have told you, but for entirely selfish reasons, I didn't want to admit that I was wrong,” I whispered as embarrassment and shame hit me.
“What are you talking about, Ash?” Ky asked, placing his thumb under my chin and forcing my eyes to meet his.
“He hurt me again, Ky. I walked in on him with another girl when I first arrived in Sydney. I fled and came back here and hid for a week. I want nothing to do with him.”
Ky’s grasp on my hand tightened, his jaw ticked, and his eyes moved from me to Lachlan. He was headed for a complete meltdown.
“This is your engagement party. Don’t allow him to wreck it. Take your gorgeous fiancé and go dance. Josh and I will sort this out.”
He still wasn't looking at me, and his glare frightened me.
“Ky, please. Listen to me.”
Finally, his eyes met mine and the look he gave me destroyed me.
“You should have told me. You tell me everything.”
Eden came toward us, wrapped her arm around Ky’s waist, and started to pull him away. They didn't get far, though. The sound of flesh meeting flesh stabbed the air, and the deep grunt of someone suffering in pain took hold of my attention. I swung around just as Josh’s fist connected sharply with Lachlan’s jaw. Lachlan stumbled back, and a smirk that made me shiver in the worst possible way covered his face. Rubbing his jaw, his eyes flashed to mine and I froze on the spot, unable to say or do a thing. He took two steps toward me, but was halted by Josh’s firm grip pulling him back by his shirt.