by Jewel, Bella
Her tone is full of regret, making remorse punch me in the gut. I stride for her, eating up the distance between us so I can place my hands on her waist.
She doesn’t flinch, doesn’t protest. She lets me touch her, and fuck, am I thankful.
“What did you do with the car?”
“I parked it in someone’s driveway. I thought maybe the person who lives there would call the cops in the morning.”
“That’s good,” I whisper into her hair. “No harm. No foul. Right?”
She releases a barely audible scoff. “Yeah. Maybe. But I took off without packing my things. I left everything there. The few clothes I had. My purse.”
Shit. “Your I.D?”
“No. I don’t carry it. Only cash. I placed a few valuables and some money in a locked box a week ago, but apart from that…” She sighs, her shoulders falling. “I literally have nothing.”
I rest my forehead into her hair and breathe her deep. The scent of flowers and candy slaughters me. “Can I show you something?”
“Why not?” She releases a heavy breath. “It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”
I slide my palm over her wrist and lower it to entwine our fingers. “It’s down the other end of the house.”
She stares where our hands meet, and I wait for a protest to the connection.
“Okay.” She nods and meets my gaze.
I could fuck her right here. On the floor. Clothes on. Face pale. Eyes filled with sorrow. I fucking could. But would I regret it?
I doubt it.
She wants this as much as I do. Needs it.
Instead of succumbing, I start for the opposite side of the room, toward the far hall. She keeps her hand against mine, warm and gently clasping, until I stop before a closed door.
“Go on.” I jerk my chin. “Open it.”
She frowns as she releases my hand and steps forward to grip the handle. I can’t hear her breathe. I can’t hear anything but lust and anticipation rushing through my ears.
She twists the handle and inches into the bedroom, her gaze scanning the furniture—her bed, drawers, mirror, and television.
“You emptied my apartment,” she whispers.
“I thought I owed you that much. Otherwise Torian would’ve sent someone to ransack it.” There is a slip of truth in there somewhere.
“Did you go through my stuff?”
“Yeah.” I don’t even pause. That won’t be the worst admission she hears from me tonight.
“Everything?” She shoots me a glower over her shoulder.
“From the kitchen cupboards, to your bathroom supplies, and all those pretty pieces of lingerie that turned my dick to stone.” I smirk, without an ounce of remorse. “There’s a black leather item in there somewhere that I wouldn’t mind seeing again.”
There had also been other things she wouldn’t have wanted me to snoop through. Not just the sex toys, but the information. I’d found her hidden box of articles on Jacob after walking over the only creaking floorboard in her entire apartment.
I’d read every word in my car as she slept in cheap hotels. There were details on her, too. Snippets of her life the Seattle newspaper had catalogued after her family died. There were details on the sale of her childhood home and her bank accounts. I know it all. At least everything that has been written down on paper.
She kicks off her sneakers, pads to the far side of the bed, and pulls a pillow to her chest as she stands looking down at the mattress.
“It still smells like you,” I murmur.
She shoots me an are-you-fucking-kidding look with one hike of her brow. “Smells a little like you, too.”
I shrug. “I may have slept in here a time or two since you skipped town.”
Her eyes narrow. “Liar.”
“No lies here. I told you I missed you.”
A flash of surprise passes across her features before she turns her back and slumps onto the bed.
“You don’t believe me?” I start toward her, my steps slow.
“I don’t know what to believe anymore.” She buries her head in the pillow.
The need to bare my soul drags me forward. “I’m never going to lie to you again.” It isn’t a vain attempt to make her happy. It’s a promise. A vow.
I had cause to lie before. Now my objective is keeping her here, and I know that will only happen if I give her the truth. The full truth.
She raises her face, and those pleading eyes are glazed, but she doesn’t cry. Not one tear escapes. She’s strong. Too fucking strong.
“There’s something else I need to tell you, though.” I force the words out, knowing this quiet moment will be over once I confess.
She blinks up at me and swallows. “I’m not going to like it, am I?”
“No, you’re not.”
She nods and lowers her attention to the floor. “Then don’t tell me. Not yet. I need time to regroup or I’m going to break.”
My chest hollows. I wasn’t expecting to be denied. The reprieve is too damn good to be true. Any additional minute with her at my mercy is a blessing. A fucking gift. “You won’t break.”
She lets out a derisive laugh. “I’m glad you’re confident.”
I grab the pillow clutched in her arms and tug until she lets it go. Her hands fall to the mattress as I move forward bringing us toe to toe, her knees to mine.
“I won’t let you break,” I pledge, grasping her chin to drag her attention back to me.
Her eyes are bleak, the grief ebbing off her in a continuous onslaught. All I want to do is pull her into me and fuck some life back into her. To make everything better.
She stares, barely blinking, barely breathing.
I see my future in those eyes. In this woman. It’s fucking crazy and unwanted, but it’s there. It’s been there from the first night she fucked me over and threw my gun out a third-story window, to right now, when I’d give anything to see her smile.
I can’t stop thinking about her. I won’t.
“Do you hear me?” I drag my thumb along her lower lip. “I won’t let you break.”
“You must be one tough guy to stop that from happening.” She reaches out, her fingers latching onto my waistband. Her gaze turns determined, seductive, and it takes all my strength not to slam my mouth over hers.
“I can be whatever you need me to be.”
She grabs my belt and yanks at the clasp. She’s looking for something to take her mind off Brent, and my dick is enthusiastic to run interference.
I’m hard already. Crazy with rapidly building lust. I want to taste her pain, her anguish. I want to be there with her, letting it drag us both under instead of me watching from the sidelines.
She lowers my zipper and tugs my waistband down over my ass.
“You sure you want to do this?” Once this starts, I’ll have no will to stop.
“Are you really asking me that?”
“Yeah, I’m fucking asking, and once I get an affirmation there’s no turning back.”
She yanks my jeans lower. My boxer briefs, too. My cock stands between us, pulsing as she licks her lower lip. She pulls and tugs until my jeans are at my knees, then places her hands on my thighs. I hold my breath as she leans in, her greedy little tongue snaking out to taste the tip of my cock.
Fuck.
I groan. That simple touch…that brief brush of connection… Damn her. She’s killing me.
I grab a fistful of her hair and she moans, her eyes rolling as I tug her head back. I pull until her chin lifts, and her attention is all mine.
“Are you fucking sure you want to do this?” I snarl through my weakening restraint.
“Yes,” she whispers. “I’m sure.”
I tighten my grip, and her chin ascends. “I’ll make you feel good,” I promise.
“I don’t want to feel good. All I need is a distraction, and that’s what you’ve been every day since you walked into Atomic Buzz all those weeks ago.”
“A distraction?” I wrap her h
air around my knuckles and yank.
She gasps, and it’s the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard.
“I’ll take pleasure in distracting the fuck out of you, princess.” I shove my fist forward, pushing her head toward my cock. She smirks up at me, but the emotion doesn’t reach her eyes. She’s still hollow. Still grief-stricken.
“What’s your favorite type of distraction?” I hold her a lip-lick away from my shaft. “Oral? Anal? Or will my dick make that sweet pussy its bitch?”
“All of the above.”
Fuck. I won’t last. I’m already wound tight, my balls throbbing, my dick pulsing.
Her tongue stretches out, gently gliding along my shaft from base to tip in a swipe of devilish torture.
I release her hair and bend down to grip her thighs. I tip her onto her back, yanking the tight leggings down her incredible legs. Her panties are already wet, the crotch bathed in her arousal. She smells like a feast. One I’m ready to devour.
I tug the pants off, then her underwear, and fall to my knees, leaving her in the gray woolen sweater that is far too cute for the dirty things I want to do to her.
With rough hands, I shove her knees apart and slide my hands under her ass to bring her to the edge of the mattress. She glistens, the puffy pink flesh of her cunt ready and waiting.
I sink my head between her thighs, my tongue leading the way to her pussy. The first lick straight down her slit has us both moaning. I do it again and again, making her writhe, sending me insane.
“More,” she demands.
I pull back and remove one hand from under her ass. I swirl my thumb through her slickness, sink it deep inside. I do it again and again until my digit is drenched, then I let my tongue take its place.
I torment that greedy little cunt, while I move my thumb to her ass to swirl the lubrication over the puckered hole.
She groans, wiggles, squirms while my dick seeps with pre-cum. I press harder, breeching her ass to sink my digit inside. She jolts and shoves her hands into my hair to hold my head in place, demanding more.
Normally, I’d smirk at a woman this eager, but I’m right there with her. No, I’m surpassing her. The need to sink my dick inside her heat makes me fucking mindless.
I clench my free hand around the flesh of her butt. My thumb pumps her ass, while my tongue laps up a treat. I’m on the edge, and the briefest lapse in concentration will have me blowing against the side of the bed.
“Fuck me,” she cries. “Hurry up and fuck me.”
She rocks her hips like a sexual goddess as I move my mouth to her clit and rub against it with my lower lip. I watch her, wanting to deny her just for a little while as I enjoy the erotic display.
I’ve never seen a sexier woman. I never will again. With her top half entirely covered, she’s still a fantasy brought to life.
“Fuck. Me. Luke.”
Jesus fucking Christ.
I dump her on the mattress and shove to my feet, prepared to punish her for using my real name.
“Don’t say that again,” I warn. Not because I don’t want her to, because I can’t risk anyone finding out if she grows used to saying it.
“Sorry.” She grins and leans up on her elbows. “Luke.”
I grasp her knees and lift, sending her toppling backward as I position her drenched pussy right in front of my cock.
She holds my gaze, her chest heaving, her breathing ragged. I impale her, sinking deep, shoving so fucking hard I feel the pleasure all the way to my bones.
She clenches the quilt and gasps. “Oh my God.”
I pound into her. Over and over. I have to close my damn eyes because the sight before me is pure nirvana. But she’s there, too, taunting me from behind closed lids.
I slide my hands along to her ass, lifting, arching her back higher, digging my fingers deep. Her scent is in my lungs, her taste is on my lips, and that perfect pussy is seconds from milking me dry.
“You’re going to make me come,” she pants.
I open my eyes, unable to deny myself. “Say my name,” I demand.
“I thought you didn’t want—”
“Say my fucking name.”
I slam into her, over and over and over. Harder and harder and harder. She moans, the sound increasing while her thighs clench tight around my hips.
“Please, Luke,” she cries out, her pussy massaging my dick. Pulsing and contracting. “I’m coming.”
I shout as my release follows hers, my cum bursting free in relieving spurts.
I don’t stop.
I can’t.
I won’t.
She keeps moaning, crying, those knuckles turning white as she grips the coverings. I’ve never wanted someone like this. I’ve never needed anyone like I need her.
I slam into her with each fading pulse of orgasm. Her pussy has exhausted me, chained and enslaved me.
I swallow while she pants, her gray woolen sweater tight against her breasts as her chest rises and falls. Her legs begin to relax. My thrusts slow. I’ve marked her thighs with my fingers and made her breathless from the way I fucked her. I’ve affected her, but it’s not even close to the way she affects me.
“Don’t say my name again,” I murmur.
She nods, biting her lower lip, her lids heavy, her cheeks flushed.
I inch back, my cock leaving her heat, a trail of cum following in its wake.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
“I’m sorry.” I place her down on the bed and run a hand over my mouth. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
She frowns up at me, then awareness dawns and her eyes flare. “Jesus. Fuck.”
“You wanted a distraction, right?” I drawl.
Her glower is a great indication that this situation isn’t something we can joke about.
“Why is everything a complete disaster with you?” she accuses. “Everything falls to shit. Every single time.”
It isn’t sunshine and rainbows for me either. Sarah has brought me nothing but trouble and mind-numbing lust.
“Why the hell are we still doing this?” She pushes to her elbows and looks up at me as if I have the answer.
I don’t.
I have no clue.
“I wish I knew.” I pull up my jeans to cover my ass and stalk from the room, returning moments later with a damp washcloth.
She flops back onto the mattress and rests an arm over her face as I slide a hand between her thighs. I wipe the slickness from her legs, her mound, her slit.
My dick throbs with the possibility of round two. That greedy motherfucker.
“I’ll deal with the morning-after pill tomorrow,” she murmurs.
“Right.” What if I don’t want her to deal with it? Fuck. Am I really that desperate to have her locked in my life?
I place the cloth on her bedside table and turn off the light. She crawls across the mattress then pulls back the covers, her movements visible with the slight illumination from the living room.
I ditch my shoes and clothes to climb naked onto the mattress. I don’t offer to give her privacy or space. She won’t get either from me. No matter how hellish this is, I can’t drag myself away.
I want her. Not just her body or her secrets. I want her trust. I want more. I want everything. Every touch. Every breath. I want to know she’s mine, and I won’t stop until I’m successful.
I slide in beside her and place my palm on her stomach, my lips on her shoulder.
I listen to her breathing and feel her stomach rise and fall. Every so often she sniffs, and it’s the most vulnerable, emotional sound I’ve ever heard. She’s caged all her anguish inside, not letting it break free.
“Why did you keep turning the camera around?” she whispers into the darkness. “Was it a hint to tell me I was disclosing my location?”
She turns to face me, and I briefly close my eyes to bite back the bliss of her snuggling into my chest.
I’ve never had this. Not the woman in my home. Not the cud
dling or the after-sex conversation.
“It wasn’t that at all.”
“Then what was it?”
I remember my vow of honesty and bite back the need to lie as I meet her gaze. “I had to see you. Those hours before you woke were all I had.”
She lowers her attention to focus on my chest. There’s no other reaction. She isn’t happy for my weakness. She isn’t latching her claws in, scrambling for more. “Why didn’t you interrogate me for the name of the informant?”
“Because I know you don’t have it. After the funeral, Decker filled me in on what he’d dug up on you now that we have the names from the headstones in Seattle. I read about your family, which led to Jacob. There was a photo of him with Dan in your apartment.” I glance over my shoulder to the room. “It’s around here somewhere.”
I turn back to her sad eyes and lazy appraisal. My mind tells me to cut and run, but my lungs ache for more. It’s a constant fight between want and need. It has been for weeks. I think it will be for a long time to come.
She’s hypnotizing. Mesmerizing. She’s a damn dream, or maybe she’s a nightmare. Either way, I’m not ready to wake up.
She burrows into me, resting her cheek to my chest. “You never kissed me again. Not after that first night.”
My pulse thunders. “Did you want me to?”
Her head shakes the slightest bit. “No.”
She stabs me through the ribs with that one word, creating a hole where my self-respect should be.
“But no matter how much I told myself I didn’t want it,” she whispers, “I needed it more than anything.”
20
Her
I startle awake to the sound of a shrill, rhythmic beep coming from another room.
“What the hell is that?” I push from the cage of Hunter’s arms and sit.
“Don’t worry. It’s just the motion detectors at the gate. Decker must be here.”
“How do you know it’s him?”
He slides from the bed and yanks his jeans on. “Nobody else knows where I live.”
I ignore the monumental realization that I’m one of only two people trusted with this man’s address, and glance over my shoulder to the bedside clock. “Why would he be here at three in the morning?”