I turn my bike on, back it out and look again before roaring off down the street. I head out of town at a high rate of speed… faster than I should be. It’s not like I can outrun my problems though, but I want to do just that.
I did this to myself. Now I need to figure how to get out of it. If only I would have told the truth to begin with. Grandma always told me to tell the truth, that it would set me free. I guess I should have listened.
I ride for over five hours, the mess I made of my relationship with Samantha running through my head. I didn’t show myself any mercy at all, and it’s midnight before I get back to the clubhouse. I walk in the door and I see that Bossman is still up, just staring off into space.
I grab a beer and sit down across from him. My skin feels like it has road grime on it, but I need to see what’s up with him. He doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to get back to his place, and we need to decide a few things and soon. “We need to call church. We have things to hash out and I need to know where your head is,” I tell Bossman.
“I’ve loved her for years, even before I married Melonie. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Melonie, but I was always in love with Jenny. Capone knew, and he always tried to rub my face in it. He told me once that he had her, not to even think of getting her,” he tells me with a sideways glance.
I just stare at him, confused. I just can’t seem to get my mind wrapped around what he’s telling me. “You and Jenny?” I ask.
He just nods his head at me. “She has always been it. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my wife. We had a good marriage, two beautiful daughters, and she made me a good home. She always knew that there was someone else, but loved me anyway. What do I do now? She isn’t talking to me. I stayed away because I didn’t want to cause her problems. Now that Capone is gone, she won’t even talk to me, let alone look at me. Well, she did look at me, but like I’m a piece of shit.”
I am at a loss. I don’t know what to tell him. I never would have guessed any of this. I always assumed he was madly in love with his deceased wife. I can’t wrap my mind around him and Jenny. That is something for another day. Shit, I never did figure out what I was gonna do to get Samantha to talk to me, so I wouldn’t know what to tell him. Maybe I need to send her some flowers or something. Like I’ve ever done that before. I sound like a punk now. I grunt as I stand. “Church, tomorrow at ten,” I tell him. I grab the empty beer can and throw it away, then grab another beer as I head off to my room.
I send out mass texts to let the guys know that we’re having church and it’s mandatory that everyone is present. The prospects can run the businesses in the morning.
The next morning comes too soon. I get ready, then head out to the kitchen to get some caffeine into my bloodstream. I need it. Bossman meets me in the office at nine to sit and talk. Bossman is the mother chapter president that’s here because of the Capone incident.
“I want to stay here. I’m going to make this my home. I just want to get your take on it,” Bossman states to me. I know he’s concerned about coming here. The thing is, with us going legit we could use more direction, particularly after the Capone shit. I’ve heard some of the men talking around here that they think it would go smoother, especially with some of the old-timers that were with Capone for years.
“I think it’s great. I also know some of the other brothers will feel the same. How are you wanting to play this?” I ask him.
“I think I want to just leave things well enough alone. Did you want to be president?”
“I had just as soon stay VP but if you bring your VP, it’s all good too. I don’t want to run this right now. I have a woman who isn’t speaking to me. In all honesty, I want to concentrate all my free time on her. If I take the president slot, that isn’t going to happen,” I reply.
“Maybe I need to make this the national location then. I can fix it so things run from here and have you as my national VP. I never filled that spot after Crank’s death.”
I nod. “Let’s see where this leads us,” I respond.
The men start sliding in for the meeting right at five ‘til ten. I guess maybe they’re worried about what’s going on.
We all sit while Hawk makes the call to the mother chapter for voting rights. As soon as they’re online with us, Bossman calls the meeting to order.
“Meeting is called to order. First part of business is about what went down on our trip. Any questions, comments?” Bossman asks. There isn’t a peep from anyone.
“Sledge and Ghost, are you two there?” Bossman asks.
“We are. We all are as a matter of fact,” they all say.
“I want to move the national chapter here to Henderson. What do you all think?” he asks them.
“I personally thought it should have been done from the beginning,” Sledge states.
“So all those in favor of moving the national chapter to Henderson, say aye.”
Everyone replies, “Aye.”
“Anyone opposed, say nay,” Bossman states.
It’s quiet, not one nay. Motion is carried. National chapter is moving to Henderson.
“I need for Sledge and Ghost as well as Llaw to make their way here ASAP. The rest of you, please decide if any of you want to stay behind and keep an operational chapter there of your own. I need for the national chapter shit to be packed and shipped here. I will ask if anyone from here wants to transfer there. We will be adding on wings to this clubhouse,” Bossman states.
“Okay, so the next is the president slot. I nominate Bossman,” I say.
“Let me interject here. I plan on moving the national presidency here. All of it, so we don’t need the vote for presidency. We do need a VP, and since Dog already holds the position, I would recommend that we keep it that way. So I am going to nominate Dog as my VP, national level. All slots will be at the national level, but these are the only slots I want filled at this time. The rest will stay status quo until all the movements are made and the rest of the brothers get here,” he tells everyone with authority. “All in favor, say aye,” he states. There are nothing but ayes.
“We need to find out if Capone has pissed in anyone else’s clubhouse,” Bossman continues. “I have some feelers out. Make sure you all keep your eyes open and know your surroundings. Have your families keep theirs open too. At this point, we need to make sure the businesses are set up with cameras and surveillance. We need more ideas of business opportunities in the area. We’ll adjourn for the week. The next meeting is in one week at the same time. Everyone needs to be here. Anyone who wants to transfer, you need to see me this week,” Bossman states as he bangs the gavel on the table. The men get up and start to disperse.
I look up and see Spider looking at me with a blank expression on his face. “You have something to say, Spider?” I ask him.
“Not a fucking thing, Dog. Not a fucking thing.” He mumbles the last out of his mouth as he walks out the door.
“What’s his deal? He acts like it’s his girl,” Bossman says.
“It has something to do with his past. I don’t know all the details, but what I do know is that when he lost his woman, Paige, it really fucked his head up,” I tell Bossman.
I get up from the table and head into the bar. I walk over and pour a cup of coffee and sit. Spider walks over and sits next to me.
“I don’t understand. Knowing what you know about Samantha, the shit with her being abandoned, why keep her in the dark?” Spider questions.
“How the fuck do you know so much? She tell you all that shit?” I ask, getting madder by the minute. It took me forever to get that shit out of her, but with Spider, she wants to have loose lips and blab everything.
“You told me all that shit. I listened to you all that one night down in the bunker. It’s not like there was a lot of privacy,” he tells me with scrunched up eyes.
“Sorry, man. I’m just pissed that I can’t get her to talk to me. I’m fucking more pissed off at myself. I knew better. I didn’t tell her the truth. I let her grieve for some
one when it wasn’t necessary at all,” I tell him.
“Why then?” Spider asks again. “I just don’t understand it. Don’t fuck up like I did all those years ago. I was young, but my heart is still in tatters. Don’t make then same mistake I made. Be honest with her. Tell her the truth. Don’t give her up,” he tells me as he gets up and walks out the door.
Chapter Four
Dog…
It’s been a few days and I’m so tired of just waiting to hear from her. I decide today is the day. We are going to talk. I get up, shower and go out to get a cup of coffee. I’ve got to have it to function. I see some of the fella’s around and talk to a few of them. We have our meeting tomorrow and we have a bunch to discuss. I don’t hang around. I need to go see if Samantha will talk to me.
I stop at her house and she isn’t home. I decide to go to the tattoo parlor. Pulling up, I see Ria and Jax talking in the reception area. I get off my bike and walk into the business.
“What can I do for you, Dog?” Jax asks.
“Is she here?” I ask.
“You know she doesn’t want to see you,” he replies.
“That may be, but I want to talk to her. She can’t keep ignoring me,” I reply.
“She’s piercing someone at the moment,” Ria states.
I look at her. “Has she said anything, Ria?” I ask her.
“Nope, you don’t get to ask me that. She is a dear friend of mine. You just don’t,” she growls out, walking off.
I look at Jax. “I know I fucked up, man. I need to make this right if I can. I love that woman. I can’t get her to talk to me. What the fuck am I supposed to do here? I won’t let her go, not like this,” I tell Jax.
I see Ria coming out of Samantha’s room. She shuts the door, giving me the stink eye as she heads to the back.
He looks at me, dead straight in the eyes, pausing as he contemplates something. He turns and hollers, “Samantha, you have a customer.” He waits for her to open her door and come out. I get no looks at all when she turns to look at Jax.
“What customer? I don’t see anyone I would work on,” she replies.
“Samantha, I understand what you’re saying, but I can’t afford to turn people away. He wants his nipples pierced as well as another dick piercing,” he tells her.
He turns and looks at me. “It’s going to hurt like a son of a bitch. Are you sure you want to do this right now?” Jax asks with a smirk.
“Yes, I’m sure. Never been surer of anything in my life,” I tell her, looking at her face. She’s staring right through me now. I can’t keep doing this. I have to get through to her.
“Fine, Jax, I’ll do this but know that I don’t want too. So, if you hear me screaming, come running. If you hear him screaming like a little girl, you had better not make one move to that door. You understand me?” she declares with ice in her voice.
Jax holds his hands up and backs away. She finally looks at me and her eyes are like fire. She looks really pissed off. I may have made a mistake. I’m going to get Jax back for this. My dick just got to where it was feeling better, too. All I can do at this point is to suck it up and go get it done.
“This way, you fucking liar,” she spits out.
Now I’m starting to get pissed off. Yes, I know I fucked up, but shit.
I stomp in behind her and slam the door shut. I can hear Jax and Ria arguing on the other side of the doorway. I glance up at Samantha and she is still the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.
“Don’t do this Samantha. We need to talk this out, even if you won’t forgive me. I know I fucked this up, but beautiful, I need you in my life. Make me beg, whatever, just don’t shut down on me,” I beg her.
“Oh, you deserve this and so much more. I told you no more lies or half-truths. You didn’t listen. You did this, not me. Don’t ever think this isn’t on you. You’re an asshole. Now sit down if you want your piercings or get the fuck out.” Her voice rises with each word she says to me. “You have your piercings?” she snarls.
I shake my head at her. I’m at a loss on what to do to get her to listen to me. “Just pick them out. I don’t care what they are,” I tell her defeated. I sit there and wait, shit going through my head. I’m a man and men don’t cry, but I’m getting pretty damn close to it. I’m ready to get down on my hands and knees to beg her to listen to me. I’m not above groveling if that’s what it takes. I don’t care if I have to start over from day one. I will do it.
“Lift your shirt, asshole,” she snaps.
She takes the instrument with no warning and stabs my nipple with it. It fucking hurt. She goes to the other one and I growl. She looks at me with an evil glint in her eyes as she does the same thing to the other one. I’m just glad she cleaned everything before she did it. She looks at me with a malicious grin on her face.
She walks away and brings back a piercing for my dick but I also notice another piece.
“We need to talk Sam. You know we do. Please, listen to me. Give me thirty minutes and if after that time you don’t want to talk, I’ll fucking leave you alone for a while. I promise. I know I fucked this up. I just didn’t think it through. Fuck! I’m just so used to doing shit without thinking of the consequences.” I’m begging her with my eyes.
“For a while? Is that what you just said. Look, you did this. You could have told me at any time and you didn’t. You let me grieve for my friend. You all did. I’ve grieved enough in my life, Dog,” she says in a whisper.
She drops her head. I know now exactly what I’ve done to her. I promised to never put another female last, and that is exactly what I’ve done. After learning how she was raised, I’m no better than her father—none at all.
“I’m so fucking sorry I did this to you. So sorry,” I tell her. My eyes start to tear up. I get up, grab my cut and start for the door. I pause with my hand on the knob, my back still turned. “I love you, Samantha. More than life itself. I know I didn’t show it by not telling you what was going on…” I shake my head and just walk out. I get to the counter and throw two one-hundred-dollar bills on the counter and leave. I hear a commotion behind me but at this point, if I don’t get out of here, I’m going to cry like a little pussy.
I get back to the clubhouse and make my way into the bar. I holler out for Fig to bring me a beer. He’s one of our newer prospects. His only living relative has dementia. I sit and chug it down, raising my hand for the next one.
“What the fuck is up your ass?” Bossman asks me.
“What the fuck do you think, you motherfucker? This is partly your fault too. We’ve got the both of them not talking to us. Have you had anyone warming your bed? I’ll tell you I haven’t, and I don’t like it one bit,” I grumble. “I didn’t think about it. You know, it finely made sense why she’s done with my ass. It’s my fault. I ain’t no better than her sperm donor. He left her there in that fucking place her whole life and let her grieve for a family. Then we turned around and let her grieve for one of her family members here. See, she thought we were her family.”
“We’re still her family Dog. We always will be,” he tells me.
“Family doesn’t do that to one another, Boss,” I tell him in a pain-filled voice. “Would you have done that if the roles were reversed? You knew she was alive. Samantha and just a few of the brothers didn’t know. We knew, so it didn’t fuck with our heads,” I continue.
“No, I would have been as pissed off as she is,” he tells me.
“I have to get her back, but right now, I have no idea of how to do that,” I state.
“I can’t figure out my own shit right now, let alone help you. Jenny won’t talk to me either. I lied to her too. Pissed her off. My wife never even listened to what was going on. She always stuck her head in the sand. Now I have a woman who does,” Bossman says.
“Tell her the truth from now on. This is bullshit. You know the brothers talk to their old ladies, or the ones that are known to keep their mouths shut. I didn’t even give Samantha the choi
ce.” I took that choice away too, just like everyone else did with her.
I feel the phone in my pocket vibrate and pull it out. It’s Spider calling me.
“What’s up, Spider, you need something?” I ask.
“We need to talk. Get this shit between us settled,” he tells me.
“Yes, we do. You also need to stay away from my ol` lady. She’s mine and you need to respect that,” I tell him.
“Then you’re a fool. You want her back; you need to use me to do it. I’m having lunch with her today. You need to either accept my help or not. It doesn’t matter to me anymore. Jesus, you’re a bonehead. Use the tools presented and get your shit together, brother. We’ll meet up later today and have a beer,” Spider tells me.
“Gotten awful ballsy. Who the fuck do you think your talking to? I’m no fucking prospect, motherfucker. You got me?” I spit out.
“Neither am I. Remember that before you lose her,” he tells me with a hint of heat in his voice.
“I’ll meet with you at five, give or take,” I tell him as I disconnect the phone.
Bossman raises his eyebrow, waiting to find out who I was talking to. “Spider. Says we need to clear the air,” I say as I shake my head.
He tilts his head down with a grin on his face.
“Asshole,” I say to him. “So, what are you doing today?” I ask.
“I need to get shit caught up. I’m behind with everything. We also need to check out the bar we’re wanting to buy. It generates good income from what I’m led to believe. We need more legal income coming in. The body shop and garage are good income but we need to hit this shit hard, bring more into the coffers. The officers are taking a third off their weekly pay and paying their dues to the club for miscellaneous shit. We can’t continue this way. One of the men I have coming was raised doing construction. We need to hit that too,” he tells me.
I nod my head and get up. I’m going to go take a nap. I need to get this shirt off too. My fucking nipples hurt like hell. Minx just stabbed them hard on purpose. I’m glad she didn’t get ahold of my dick. I cringe just thinking about it. I figure the nap will make my day go a little faster.
The truth will set you free (Bitter Roots MC Book 1) Page 2