by Jane Yolen
He took the bucket and up he went into the house. And the old man and the old woman were sitting where he had left them at nightfall. He left the bucket by the dresser and he came up and sat in between the pair of them again.
“Now, Brian,” said the old man, “can you tell a fairy tale?”
“I can,” said he, “I am the man who has got a story to tell.”
He began to tell the old woman and the old man what he had gone through since nightfall.
“Well, Brian,” said the old man, “wherever you are from now on,” said he, “and whenever anybody asks you tell a story, tell them that story, and you are the man who will have a story to tell.”
The old woman got up and made Brian a good supper. And when he had had his supper she made up a feather bed for him and he went to bed. And he wasn’t in bed long before he fell asleep, for he was tired after all he had gone through since nightfall.
But when he woke in the morning, where was he? He was lying in Alt an Torr outside Barr an Ghaoith with his head on the two bundles of rods. He got up and went home and he never cut a rod from that day to this.
HOW SPIDER OBTAINED THE SKY GOD’S STORIES
Africa (Ashanti)
Kwaku Anansi, the spider, once went to Nyankonpon, the sky god, in order to buy the sky god’s stories. The sky god said, “What makes you think you can buy them?” The spider answered and said, “I know I shall be able.” Thereupon the sky god said, “Great and powerful towns like Kokofu, Bekwai, Asumengya, have come, but they were unable to purchase them, and yet you who are but a mere masterless man, you say you will be able?”
The spider said, “What is the price of the stories?” The sky god said, “They cannot be bought for anything except Onini, the python; Osebo, the leopard; Mmoatia, the fairy; and Mmoboro, the hornets.” The spider said, “I will bring some of all these things, and, what is more, I’ll add my old mother, Nsia, the sixth child, to the lot.”
The sky god said, “Go and bring them then.” The spider came back, and told his mother all about it, saying, “I wish to buy the stories of the sky god, and the sky god says I must bring Onini, the python; Osebo, the leopard; Mmoatia, the fairy; and Mmoboro, the hornets; and I said I would add you to the lot and give you to the sky god.” Now the spider consulted his wife, Aso, saying, “What is to be done that we may get Onini, the python?” Aso said to him, “You go off and cut a branch of a palm tree, and cut some string-creeper as well, and bring them.” And the spider came back with them. And Aso said, “Take them to the stream.” So Anansi took them; and, as he was going along he said, “It’s longer than he is, it’s not so long as he; you lie, it’s longer than he.”
The spider said, “There he is, lying yonder.” The python, who had overheard this imaginary conversation, then asked, “What’s this all about?” To which the spider replied, “Is it not my wife, Aso, who is arguing with me that this palm branch is longer than you, and I say she is a liar.” And Onini, the python, said, “Bring it, and come and measure me.” Anansi took the palm branch and laid it along the python’s body. Then he said, “Stretch yourself out.” And the python stretched himself out, and Anansi took the rope-creeper and wound it and the sound of the tying was nwenene! nwenene! nwenene! until he came to the head. Anansi, the spider said, “Fool, I shall take you to the sky god and receive the sky god’s tales in exchange.” So Anansi took him off to Nyame, the sky god. The sky god then said, “My hand has touched it; there remains what still remains.”
The spider returned and came and told his wife what had happened, saying, “There remain the hornets.” His wife said, “Look for a gourd, and fill it with water and go off with it.” The spider went along through the bush, when he saw a swarm of hornets hanging there, and he poured out some of the water and sprinkled it on them. He then poured the remainder upon himself and cut a leaf of plantain and covered his head with it. And now he addressed the hornets, saying, “As the rain has come, had you not better come and enter this, my gourd, so that the rain will not beat you; don’t you see that I have taken a plantain leaf to cover myself?” Then the hornets said, “We thank you, Aku, we thank you, Aku.” All the hornets flew, disappearing into the gourd, fom!
Father Spider covered the mouth, and exclaimed, “Fools, I have got you, and I am taking you to receive the tales of the sky god in exchange.” And he took the hornets to the sky god. The sky god said, “My hand has touched it; what remains still remains.”
The spider came back once more, and told his wife, and said, “There remains Osebo, the leopard.” Aso said, “Go and dig a hole.” Anansi said, “That’s enough, I understand.” Then the spider went off to look for the leopard’s tracks, and, having found them, he dug a very deep pit, covered it over, and came back home. Very early next day, when objects began to be visible, the spider said he would go off, and when he went, lo, a leopard was lying in the pit. Anansi said, “Little father’s child, little mother’s child, I have told you not to get drunk, and now, just as one would expect of you, you have become intoxicated, and that’s why you have fallen into the pit. If I were to say I would get you out, next day, if you saw me, or likewise any of my children, you would go and catch me and them.” The leopard said, “O! I could not do such a thing.”
Anansi then went and cut two sticks, put one here, and one there, and said, “Put one of your paws here, and one also of your paws here.” And the leopard placed them where he was told. As he was about to climb up, Anansi lifted up his knife, and in a flash it descended on his head, gao! was the sound it made. The pit received the leopard and fom! was the sound of the falling. Anansi got a ladder to descend into the pit to go and get the leopard out. He got the leopard out and came back with it, exclaiming, “Fool, I am taking you to exchange for the stories of the sky god.” He lifted up the leopard to go and give to Nyame, the sky god. The sky god said, “My hands have touched it; what remains still remains.”
Then the spider came back, carved an Akua’s child, a black flat-faced wooden doll, tapped some sticky fluid from a tree and plastered the doll’s body with it. Then he made eto, pounded yams, and put some in the doll’s hand. Again he pounded some more and placed it in a brass basin; he tied string round the doll’s waist, and went with it and placed it at the foot of the odum tree, the place where the fairies come to play. And a fairy came along. She said, “Akua, may I eat a little of this mash?” Anansi tugged at the string, and the doll nodded her head. The fairy turned to one of the sisters, saying, “She says I may eat some.” She said, “Eat some, then.” And she finished eating, and thanked her. But when she thanked her, the doll did not answer. And the fairy said to her sister, “When I thank her, she does not reply.” The sister of the first fairy said, “Slap her crying-place.” And she slapped it, pa! And her hand stuck there. She said to her sister, “My hand has stuck there.” She said, “Take the one that remains and slap her crying-place again.” And she took it and slapped her, pa! and this one, too, stuck fast. And the fairy told her sister, saying, “My two hands have stuck fast.” She said, “Push it with your stomach.” She pushed it and her stomach stuck to it. And Anansi came and tied her up, and he said, “Fool, I have got you, I shall take you to the sky god in exchange for his stories.” And he went off home with her.
Now Anansi spoke to his mother, Ya Nsia, the sixth child, saying, “Rise up, let us go, for I am taking you along with the fairy to go and give you to the sky god in exchange for his stories.” He lifted them up, and went off there to where the sky god was. Arrived there he said, “Sky god, here is a fairy and my old woman whom I spoke about, here she is, too.” Now the sky god called his elders, the Kontire and Akwam chiefs, the Adonten, the Gyase, the Oyoko, Ankobea, and Kyidom. And he put the matter before them, saying, “Very great kings have come and were not able to buy the sky god’s stories, but Kwaku Anansi, the spider, has been able to pay the price: I have received from him Osebo, the leopard; I have received from him Onini, the python; and of his own accord, Anansi has added his mother to
the lot; all these things lie here.” He said, “Sing his praise.” “Eee!” they shouted. The sky god said, “Kwaku Anansi, from today and going on forever, I take my sky god’s stories and I present them to you, kose! kose! kose! my blessing, blessing, blessing! No more shall we call them the stories of the sky god, but we shall call them spider stories.”
This, my story, which I have related, if it be sweet, or if it be not sweet, take some elsewhere, and let some come back to me.
HELPING TO LIE
Germany
There once was a nobleman who liked to tell terrible lies, but sometimes he got stuck. Once he wanted to hire a new servant. When one came to offer his services, the nobleman asked him if he could lie. “Well,” he said, “if it’s got to be!”
“Yes,” said the nobleman, “I sometimes get stuck telling lies. Then you will have to help me.”
One day they were in an inn, and the nobleman was as usual telling lies: “Once I went hunting and I shot three hares in the air.”
“This is not possible,” said the others.
“Then you better fetch my coachman,” he said, “to bear witness.” They fetched him. “Johann, listen, I have just been telling these gentlemen about the three hares I shot in the air. Now you tell them how that was.”
“Yes, sir. We were in the meadow, and a hare came jumping through the hedge, and while it was jumping out, you shot and it was dead. Afterward, when it was cut open, there were two young hares inside.” Of course the others could say nothing to this.
On their way home the nobleman said that it was well done.
“Well, sir,” said Johann, “the next time you tell lies, try to keep out of the air. On firm ground it will be easier for me to help you.”
THE ASH LAD WHO MADE THE PRINCESS SAY “YOU’RE A LIAR!”
Norway
There was once a king who had a daughter, and she was such a liar that no one could equal her. So he made it known that the one who could lie so that he made her say, “You’re a liar!” would get both her and half the kingdom. There were many who tried, for everyone was only too willing to have the princess and half the kingdom, but all of them fared badly.
Then there were three brothers who were bent upon trying their luck. The two eldest set out first, but they fared no better than all the others. So the Ash Lad set out, and he met the princess in the stable.
“Good day!” he said. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Good day,” she said. “It’s nice to meet you, too! You don’t have as big a barn as we do,” she said, “for, when a shepherd stands at each end and blows on a ram’s horn, one can’t hear the other!”
“Oh, yes indeed!” said the boy. “Ours is much bigger, for when a cow is got with calf at one end of it, she doesn’t bear it before she gets to the other.”
“You don’t say so!” said the princess. “Well, you haven’t such a big ox as we do. There you can see it! When a man sits on each horn, one can’t reach the other with a twelve-foot pole!”
“Pooh!’ said the boy. “We have an ox so big that, when someone is sitting on each horn blowing a lure, one can’t hear the other!”
“Oh indeed?” said the princess. “But you don’t have as much milk as we do, all the same,” she said, “for we milk into enormous troughs, and carry it in and pour it into big cauldrons, and curdle big cheeses!”
“Oh, we milk into great cauldrons, and cart them in and pour it into huge brewing vats, and curdle cheeses as big as a house. And then we have a grey mare to tread the cheese. But once it foaled in the cheese, and after we had been eating cheese for seven years, we came upon a big grey horse. I was going to drive to the mill with it one day, then its backbone broke; but I knew a remedy for that. I took a spruce tree and put it in for a backbone, and no other back did the horse have as long as we had it. But that tree grew, and became so big that I climbed up to Heaven through it, and when I got there, one of the saints was sitting weaving a bristle rope of barley broth. All at once the spruce broke and I couldn’t get down again, but the good saint lowered me down on one of the ropes, and I landed in a fox’s den. And there sat my mother and your father patching shoes, and all at once my mother gave your father such a blow that the scurf flew off ’im!”
“You’re a liar!” said the princess. “My father’s never been scurfy in his life!”
THE PARSON AND THE SEXTON
Norway
There was once a parson who was such a blusterer that whenever he saw anyone come driving towards him on the highway, he would roar from afar: “Off the road! Off the road! Here comes the parson himself!”
Once when he was carrying on like this, he met the king.
“Off the road! Off the road!” he shouted a long way off; but the king kept on driving straight ahead. So, for once, the parson had to turn his horse aside. And when the king came alongside he said, “Tomorrow you shall come to the court. And if you can’t answer three questions I am going to put to you, you shall lose both frock and collar for the sake of your pride!”
This was quite a different tune from what the parson was used to. Bluster and bellow he could, and carry on worse than bad, too. But question-and-answer was out of his field. So he went to the sexton, who was said to have a better head on his shoulders than the parson, and told him that he wasn’t keen on going, “for one fool can ask more than ten wise men can answer,” he said. And so he got the sexton to go in his place.
Well, the sexton went; and he came to the royal manor dressed in the parson’s frock and ruff collar. The king met him out on the porch, wearing both crown and scepter, and looking so grand he fairly shone.
“So you’re there, are you?” said the king.
Yes he was … that was sure enough.
“Now, tell me first,” said the king, “how far is it from east to west?”
“That’s a day’s journey, that is,” said the sexton.
“How so?” asked the king.
“Well, the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, and does it nicely in a day,” said the sexton.
“All right,” said the king, “but tell me now, what do you think I’m worth, just as you see me here?”
“Let’s see, Christ was valued at thirty pieces of silver, so I’d better not set you any higher than … twenty-nine,” said the sexton.
“Mmmmmmmmmmmm!” said the king. “Well, since you’re so wise on all counts, tell me what I’m thinking now!”
“Oh, I suppose you’re thinking that it’s the parson who’s standing here before you. But I’m sorry to say you’re wrong, for it’s the sexton!”
“Aha! Then go home with you, and you be parson and let him be sexton!” said the king.
And so it was!
There once lived three brothers who were known throughout the land for the tall tales they told. They would travel from place to place telling their strange stories to whoever would listen. No one ever believed their tales and all who heard them would cry out with exclamations of disbelief.
One day while traveling very far from home the three brothers came upon a wealthy prince. The prince was dressed very elegantly and bedecked in jewels such as the three men had never seen in their lives. They thought how wonderful it would be to have such possessions so they devised a plan whereby they could use their storytelling ability to trick the prince out of his belongings.
They said to the prince: “Let’s tell each other stories of past adventures and if anyone should doubt the truth of what the other is saying then that person must become a slave to the others.” Now the brothers had no use for a slave but if they could make the prince their slave then they could take his clothes because they would then belong to them.
The prince agreed to their plan. The brothers were sure they would win because no one had ever heard their stories without uttering cries of disbelief. And so they found a passer-by and asked him to act as judge in the matter. All sat down under the shade of a tree and the storytelling began.
The first broth
er stood up to tell his tale. With a smile on his face he began to speak: “When I was a young boy I thought it would be fun to hide from my brothers so I climbed the tallest tree in our village and remained there all day while my brothers searched high and low for me. When night fell my brothers gave up the search and returned home. It was then that I realized that I was unable to climb down the tree. But I knew I could get down with the help of a rope, so I went to the nearest cottage and borrowed a rope and was then able to climb down the tree and return home.”
When the prince heard this ridiculous story he did not make a comment but merely stood and waited for the next story to begin. The three brothers were quite surprised but were sure that the second story would not be believed by the prince. And so the second brother began his tale: “That day when my brother hid from us I was searching for him in the forest. I saw something run into the bushes and thinking it was my brother I ran in after it. When I got into the bushes I saw that it was not my brother but a huge hungry tiger. He opened his mouth to devour me and I jumped inside and crawled into his belly before he could chew me up. When inside I started jumping up and down and making loud, fierce noises. The beast did not know what was happening and became so frightened that he spit me out with such force that I traveled several hundred feet through the air and landed back in the middle of our village. And so though I was but a young lad I saved our whole village from the fearful tiger, because never again did the beast come near our village.”