by Jane Yolen
Before the barrel was halfway down the mountain there wasn’t a whole stave or bit of it left, nor of the man who was inside. But when the king came home to the palace, Peik was there before him. He sat on the steps and played upon the jew’s-harp.
“What! are you sitting here, Peik?” said the king.
“Of course I am,” said Peik. “I suppose I may have lodgings and shelter for all my horses, my cattle, and my money.”
“Where did I roll you to, that you got all these riches?” asked the king.
“Oh, you rolled me into the sea,” said Peik, “and when I came to the bottom there was more than enough to take both of horses and cattle, of gold and goods. They went about in flocks, and the gold lay in heaps as big as houses.”
“What will you take to roll me the same way?” said the king.
“Oh, that shan’t cost you much,” said Peik. “Since you didn’t take anything of me, I won’t take anything of you either.”
So he put the king into a barrel and rolled him down the mountain; and when he thus had got the king out of the way, he went home to the palace and married the youngest princess and had a grand wedding. Afterwards he ruled his land and kingdom well and wisely, but he left off playing tricks upon people and he was never spoken of as Peik any more, but as His Royal Majesty the King!
THE MONKEY AND THE CROCODILE
India
A monkey lived in a great tree on a riverbank. In the river there were many crocodiles.
A crocodile watched the monkeys for a long time, and one day she said to her son, “My son, get one of those monkeys for me. I want the heart of a monkey to eat.”
“How am I catch a monkey?” asked the little crocodile. “I do not travel on land, and the monkey does not go into the water.”
“Put your wits to work, and you’ll find a way,” said the mother.
And the little crocodile thought and thought.
At last he said to himself, “I know what I’ll do. I’ll get that monkey that lives in a big tree on the riverbank. He wishes to go across the river to the island where the fruit is so ripe.”
So the crocodile swam to the tree where the monkey lived. But he was a stupid crocodile.
“Oh, monkey,” he called, “come with me over to the island where the fruit is so ripe.”
“How can I go with you?” asked the monkey. “I do not swim.”
“No—but I do. I will take you over on my back,’ said the crocodile.
The monkey was greedy, and wanted the ripe fruit, so he jumped down on the crocodile’s back.
“Off we go!” said the crocodile.
“This is a fine ride you are giving me!” said the monkey.
“Do you think so? Well, how do you like this?” asked the crocodile, diving.
“Oh, don’t!” cried the monkey, as he went under the water. He was afraid to let go, and he did not know what to do under the water.
When the crocodile came up, the monkey sputtered and choked. “Why did you take me under water, crocodile?” he asked.
“I am going to kill you by keeping you under water,” answered the crocodile. “My mother wants monkey heart to eat, and I’m going to take yours to her.”
“I wish you had told me you wanted my heart,” said the monkey, “then I might have brought it with me.”
“How queer!” said the stupid crocodile. “Do you mean to say that you left your heart back there in the tree?”
“That is what I mean,” said the monkey. “If you want my heart, we must go back to the tree and get it. But we are so near the island where the ripe fruit is, please take me there first.”
“No, monkey,” said the crocodile, “I’ll take you straight back to your tree. Never mind the ripe fruit. Get your heart and bring it to me at once. Then we’ll see about going to the island.”
“Very well,” said the monkey.
“But no sooner had he jumped onto the bank of the river than—whisk! he ran into the tree.
From the topmost branches he called down to the crocodile in the water below:
“My heart is way up here! If you want it, come for it, come for it!”
THE RACE BETWEEN TOAD AND DONKEY
Jamaica
One day, Master King decided to have a race and he would give a big prize to whoever won. Both Toad and Donkey decided to enter, but Toad got Donkey angry with all his boasting about how he’d win.
Now, the race was to be for twenty miles. So when Donkey looked at Toad he wondered out loud how any animal so small and powerless could hope to keep up with him. “I have very long legs, you know, as well as long ears and tail. Just measure our legs, and you’ll see why you can’t possibly hope to win this race.” But Toad was stubborn—and he was smart, too—and he said that he was going to win the race. That just got Donkey more vexed.
So Donkey told the king that he was ready to start, but the king said that he had to make the rules first. At each mile every racer had to sing out to indicate he had gotten that far—for the king wanted to know what was happening in the race, you know.
Now Toad is a smart little fellow, and he said to the king that he needed a little time to take care of business, so would he let him have a day or two. And the king said to the two of them, “You must come here first thing tomorrow.” Donkey objected, for he knew that Toad was a very trickifying creature, but the king wouldn’t listen.
Now the toad had twenty children, and they all looked exactly alike. And while Donkey was sleeping, Toad took his twenty children along the racing ground, and at every milepost Toad left one of them. He told them that they must listen for Mr. Donkey, and whenever they heard him cry out, they should do so too. And Toad hid one of his children there behind each of those mileposts.
So the race began the next day. Donkey looked around, and he was so sure in his heart that he was going to beat Toad that he sucked his teeth, Tche, to show everyone there how little he thought of Toad. “That little bit of a fellow Toad can’t keep up with me. I’ll even have a little time to eat some grass along the way. Tche.”
So he just went a little way down the road and he stopped and ate some grass. He poked his head through the fence where he saw some good-looking sweet-potato tops and had a taste of some gungo peas. He took more than an hour to get to the first milepost. And as he got there, he bawled out, “Ha, ha, I’m better than Toad.” And the first child heard this, and he called, like all toads do:
Jin-ko-ro-ro, Jin-kok-kok-kok.
The sound really surprised Donkey, who of course thought he had gotten there first. Then he thought, “I delayed too long eating that grass. I must run quicker this next mile.” So he set off with greater speed, this time stopping only for a minute to drink some water along the way. And as he got to the next post, he bawled out:
Ha! Ha! Ha! I’m better than Toad.
And then the second child called out:
Jin-ko-ro-ro, Jin-kok-kok-kok.
And Donkey said, “Lord, Toad can really move, for sure. Never mind, there are a lot more miles.” So he started, and when he reached the third milepost, he bawled:
Ha! Ha! Ha! I’m better than Toad.
And the third child sang:
Jin-ko-ro-ro, Jin-kok-kok-kok.
Now the jackass got very angry when he heard Toad answer him, and he started to smash the toad, but Toad, being a little fellow, hid himself in the grass.
Donkey was then determined to get to the next milepost before Toad, and he took his tail and he switched it like a horsewhip and he began to gallop. And he got to the fourth milepost and he bawled:
Ha! Ha! Ha! I’m better than Toad.
And out came the answer from the fourth child.
When he heard that, he stood up right there and began to tremble, and he said, “My goodness, what am I going to do? I’m going to have to run so fast I really kick that hard, hard dirt.” And he galloped off faster than he ever had before, until he reached the fifth milepost. And now he was very tired, and out of breath. He just bare
ly had enough wind to bawl:
Ha! Ha! Ha! I’m better than Toad.
And then he heard:
Jin-ko-ro-ro, Jin-kok-kok-kok.
This time he was really angry, and he raced on harder than ever. But at each milepost he bawled out the same thing, and at each he heard the same answer. And Donkey got so sad in his mind that he just gave up after a while, sad because he knew he had lost that race.
So through Toad’s smartness, Donkey can never be a racer again.
Jack Mandora me no choose one.
THE KING’S SON GOES BEAR HUNTING
Finland
Once a peasant, while toiling at the plow, became angry with his horse and cried out, “May a bear devour you!”
It happened that a bear overheard these words and said, “Very well, give me your horse; I will eat him.”
The man grieved and begged for delay till his work should be completed. The bear indulged the man’s wish.
A fox who chanced to approach the peasant inquired why he was so downcast.
“Unfortunately,” answered the man, “I promised in a foolish moment to give my horse to be devoured by a bear, who now demands it.”
The fox offered, in return for a reward, to assist the peasant and to deliver the bear to him. The man promised her the gift of several chickens.
“I will fasten a small bell to my neck,” said the fox, “and will bound along in the forest from stone to stone. When the bear comes up and remarks, ‘What is that noise?’ you must answer, ‘It is the king’s son bear hunting.’ ”
The fox entered the forest, and having fixed a small bell to her neck, jumped noisily from stone to stone.
The bear approached the peasant and said, “What is that noise.”
“It is the king’s son bear hunting,” answered the peasant.
“If you do not betray me, little brother,” implored the bear, “I will not eat your horse!” The peasant promised not to surrender the bear to the hunters.
Then the fox went out to the edge of the forest and shouted, “What is that dark shape near you?”
“Say it is the stump of a tree,” said the bear, in a low voice.
“It is a stump,” cried the peasant.
The fox shouted, “If it is a stump, why not fell it?”
“Throw me down,” said the bear; and the peasant pushed him so that he fell.
“You are a fool,” shouted the fox. “If it is a stump, why do you not put it on the sleigh?”
“Put me on the sleigh as if I were a stump,” begged the bear; and the peasant lifted him onto the sleigh.
“You are a fool,” shouted the fox a third time. “Why do you not fasten it? It will roll off.”
“Pretend to fasten me,” said the bear, “but not firmly.” The peasant fastened the bear securely.
“You will never grow wise, however long you talk,” shouted the fox. “Most people put an axe into a sleigh along with a stump.”
The bear begged that the axe should not be taken into the sleigh, but the peasant took up the weapon and used it to strike his enemy on the head and kill him.
The fox came out of the forest and the pair set forth to the peasant’s house. But before reaching it the man turned to the fox and said, “Wait here till I bring you the chickens; if my children see you they will be frightened.”
After going away the peasant returned with an empty bag. “Climb in here,” he said to the fox, “and seize the chickens. If I let them out they will escape.”
The fox crawled into the bag, whereupon the peasant fastened up the opening and dashed the fox heavily against the ground.
“That is my reward for kindness!” exclaimed the fox.
JOHN BRODISON AND THE POLICEMAN
Ireland
There was a famous character in our country. He lived at Bellanaleck; he was the name of John Brodison.
He was a famous liar.
Aye, he was a famous liar. I knew him. I was often talking to him. He was a kind of a smart old boy, you know: quick-witted.
He was coming out of Enniskillen one night with the ass and the cart. And the law was: ye had to have a light after a certain time on a cart, do you see, when it was dark. Ye had to have a light.
So the policeman was standing at Bellanaleck Cross, and Brodison knew that the police would be there at the time.
So he got out of the cart.
And he took the donkey out of the cart, and he tied it behind.
And he got into the shafts, and he started to pull the cart, and the donkey walking behind him anyway.
And when he came to the Cross, the policeman says, “Brodison,” he says, “Ye have no light. Where’s your light, Brodison?”
“Ask the driver,” he says.
Aye. “Ask the driver.”
Well, that was the sort of a boy he was.
Ah, he had great bids in him.
THE RABBI AND THE INQUISITOR
Jewish
The city of Seville was seething with excitement. A Christian boy had been found dead, and the Jews were falsely accused by their enemies of having murdered him in order to use his blood ritually in the baking of matzos for Passover. So the rabbi was brought before the Grand Inquisitor to stand trial as head of the Jewish community.
The Grand Inquisitor hated the rabbi, but, despite all his efforts to prove that the crime had been committed by the Jews, the rabbi succeeded in disproving the charge. Seeing that he had been bested in argument, the inquisitor turned his eyes piously to Heaven and said:
“We will leave the judgment of this matter to God. Let there be a drawing of lots. I shall deposit two pieces of paper in a box. On one I shall write the word ‘guilty’—the other will have no writing on it. If the Jew draws the first, it will be a sign from Heaven that the Jews are guilty, and we’ll have him burned at the stake. If he draws the second, on which there is no writing, it will be divine proof of the Jews’ innocence, so we’ll let him go.”
Now the Grand Inquisitor was a cunning fellow. He was anxious to burn the Jew, and since he knew that no one would ever find out about it, he decided to write the word “guilty” on both pieces of paper. The rabbi suspected he was going to do just this. Therefore, when he put his hand into the box and drew forth a piece of paper he quickly put it into his mouth and swallowed it.
“What is the meaning of this, Jew?” raged the inquisitor. “How do you expect us to know which paper you drew now that you’ve swallowed it?”
“Very simple,” replied the rabbi. “You have only to look at the paper in the box.”
So they took out the piece of paper still in the box.
“There!” cried the rabbi triumphantly. “This paper says ‘guilty,’ therefore the one I swallowed must have been blank. Now, you must release me!”
And they had to let him go.
THE UGLY SON
Japan
Long ago a gambler had a son whose eyes and nose looked as though they had been squashed together by main force. This made the young man outstandingly ugly. His parents were wondering how on earth they were to get him married when they heard that a rich man was seeking a handsome bridegroom for his beloved daughter. They let the rich man know that the “fairest youth in all the land” wanted to marry the girl. The rich man accepted the match and set the date for the betrothal.
On the couple’s first night the brotherhood of gamblers gathered in borrowed finery and escorted the young man to his bride, doing their best to hide their faces under a brilliant moon. The groom looked quite presentable among them. This was how he began his nightly visits to the girl, in accordance with custom.
But all too soon came the dreaded night (the one that would seal the marriage forever) when the young man would have to lie with his betrothed right through dawn and into day. Undaunted, the gamblers thought up a plan.
One of them got up over the ceiling of the couple’s room, trod the boards till they creaked and groaned, and bellowed in a terrible voice, “Fairest youth in all the land!”
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The household quaked to hear him, for they recalled countless stories of supernatural visitations that had started exactly this way. The terrified groom called back, “I hear I’m the one people call fairest youth in the land. What do you want?” Three times the voice over the ceiling roared, and three times the groom replied.
The family wanted to know why he answered at all. “I couldn’t help myself,” he explained.
“The daughter of this house,” the demon bellowed, “has been mine for three years, and I want to know what you think you’re doing sleeping with her.”
“But—but—” stammered the groom, “I had no idea! I didn’t know! Please don’t hurt me!”
“You nasty sneak!” the demon roared. “I’ll ask you just one thing before I go. Which do you cherish most, your life or your looks?”
“How can I answer that?” protested the bridegroom.
His mother and father-in-law whispered frantically to him that he shouldn’t mind his looks as long as he kept his life. “Tell him your looks!” they said.
He obeyed.
The demon replied with a horrid sort of sucking noise. The groom screamed, buried his face in his arms, and collapsed. The demon left.
What had happened to the groom’s face? A lamp was brought in, and by its light they saw that his eyes and nose looked as though they had been jammed together. “Oh, if only I’d told him my life!” he sobbed. “How can I live among people with a face like this? And to think that you never once saw me as I used to be! What an awful mistake it was to get involved with a girl claimed by a horrible demon!”
Moved by this complaint, the girl’s father promised him his fortune in compensation. In fact, to the young man’s entire satisfaction his father-in-law took excellent care of him and even built a separate house for him, on the pretext that the present one’s possibly faulty location might have had something to do with the calamity. The young man lived a very pleasant life indeed.