“There’s no need,” Riven waved off. “Shaw is a half-breed. He can take his immortal form whenever he pleases.”
The breath caught in her throat. If he was half-fae, then that meant that his father…or his mother…and Kent…
Shaw picked up on her train of thought immediately. “Kent didn’t know,” he explained quickly. “Our father was unfaithful to Queen Jarla. She’s Kent’s mother. Not mine. He isn’t one of us. Not yet, and I swear he didn’t know anything. I didn’t tell him. I only found out myself a handful of months before I disappeared.”
“No need to explain yourself, Admiral,” the king said. “There’s plenty of time to catch up on details. For now, I’d like you to show Princess Tanith to her room. It might do her well to be in the presence of a familiar face before supper.”
His dismissal was subtle, and the last thing Tanith wanted was to follow Shaw, but holing up in a private room seemed preferable, so silently, she let him lead her out.
The other guards didn’t bother to follow, and Shaw merely whispered an apology on their way up the stairs. The grand detail of the palace was the least of her concerns as she walked through the cold hallways, coming upon a door with a story carved upon the old wood. It was a depiction of a girl, small and human walking through the woods with a basket in hand, a lanky faerie stalking her from behind a tree.
The other doors had similar art, each telling a story different than the last. She could guess why she’d gotten the room behind this door. Because she was the clueless girl, and Shaw was the predator, hiding in plain sight.
She didn’t let him reach the handle first, jerking it open herself and slipping through. She didn’t get the chance to slam it closed before his boot slipped through the crack, his gloved fingers wrapping around the old wood.
“Tanith, wait! Let me explain,” he pleaded, peaking his vulnerable brown eyes through the slit.
She put her own boot on the other side, preventing him from forcing the door open further, though it occurred to her that if he really was immortal, her strength didn’t even begin to compare to his. “Why should I? You’re a liar and a…” she trailed off, looking at him startled. “How did you lie to me? Riven said fae couldn’t do that.”
“I’m only half-fae,” he reminded her. “And I never lied to you. I was very selective with my story, but I didn’t lie.”
“That makes it all better,” she said sarcastically, stomping her free foot down on his. He grunted in pain but didn’t move. “Get your foot out of my door,” she demanded.
“Not until you talk to me,” he answered stubbornly.
“Why? So you can lie to me more? No thanks.”
“Tanith…”
“Shaw,” she countered, glaring straight at him.
With a sigh, he dropped his head, resting his forehead against the doorframe. “Please,” he tried again. “I’ll answer any questions you have. Honestly.”
Part of her felt foolish for wanting to give in. He had answers and he could confirm or deny anything Riven had said. Then again, she felt tall seeing a once strong man come off so weak, defeated by a truth that had been uncovered despite his efforts to let it remain hidden. If she let him in, she would be in control. No more tit for tat like the night before.
She couldn’t pass it up, so without an ounce of softness, she removed her foot and pulled open the door. “Every question,” she insisted.
Shaw agreed instantly. “Anything you want to know.”
He let himself in and Tanith turned to see the room for the first time. It was its own apartment with three small steps leading up to a bed and a sitting area further back. Long windows lined the farthest wall, a view of the trees and ocean not too far off. It was beautiful. Heavenly, even.
Shaw led himself to one of the dark green sofas and Tanith stole the one across from him, settling in.
“What do you want to know?” he asked with a sigh.
She didn’t know where to start, but she decided the beginning would do. “You said you joined a band of pirates.”
“I did,” he confirmed. “I was with them for three years until I found what I was looking for. The answers I needed…” His fingers traced the symbol burned into his wrist. “They led me here. Since I’m half-fae, I can see the hidden passage in the barrier near the east side of the island. This mark, it’s meant to attract faeries. It led me here.”
“And Kent doesn’t know you’re only half-brothers?”
“He does now,” Shaw admitted. “At this point, you’re probably going to know more than him. I still have to… I need to explain myself to him too.”
Tanith nodded. “What happened to your mother?”
“She was killed,” he admitted more softly. “She was swimming when a current pulled her out past the barrier. The island would have been completely visible to her since she was fae, but she decided to explore the human world before going back. That’s how she met my father, but he discarded her after using her as a mistress. She came back after she found out she was pregnant, and Queen Jarla let her remain in Shadow Hunt. She was having difficulty getting pregnant, so they kept me as their own. Eventually, my father sent my mother off. He always told the queen she left without a word, but I know it was him. She’s who I was looking for, but I found someone she stayed with instead. She’d written everything down and remained in the human lands until my father had her hunted down and killed to ensure she never returned. Even he knew she’d come back for me one day.”
Tanith nodded, absorbing the information. “How did you find out about her?”
“During one of my father’s drunken rants. He mentioned a lover… that I was a bastard and I looked into it. None of the servants knew much, but a few remembered. They’d been there and they’d been sworn to secrecy so the people would never know that it wasn’t Jarla who’d given birth to me.”
“Wow.” It was all Tanith could muster, and it fell woefully short of the tangled web that had been woven long ago. “So, you found this place and he made you a captain?”
“I was already one. A pirate captain after so long on the high seas, but it was King Riven who made me the chief of naval operations after the first year of my service,” Shaw explained. Part of him seemed proud, reminiscent despite the fact that he had centuries—millennia ahead of him.
“That’s impressive,” Tanith admitted. “Truly. I see why you wouldn’t have come out and said all this on the ride over. There might not have even been enough time, but what was your goal? You tried to lead me away from the Sight—the Light. Why didn’t you just tell me after you arrived?”
He looked down in shame. “I didn’t want you to have to make the choice of whether or not to give up your humanity. I thought if I could get you off the island, you would never have to know. You could have gone home…” He swallowed thickly, shaking his head. “But you would have died eventually, so maybe it’s for the best that you found out about this. I figured Kent might have told you if he chose to stay, but… I don’t know. The transition isn’t easy, so I wanted to keep you away from it. I know now that it wasn’t my choice to make. I’m sorry.”
He was sincere. That much Tanith could tell, but she was still wary of him. “What was your plan leaving me behind this morning? If Kent had chosen to stay, you know I wouldn’t have left without him.”
“I didn’t think he would know yet. I thought I could get to him before Riven told him anything, but I didn’t. In a perfect world, I’d have grabbed him and brought him back. Then you both could have gone on your way.”
Her heart stung. “What about you? You didn’t mean what you said yesterday, did you? That you planned on disappearing again?”
Shaw sighed. “I don’t know. If you leave, you’ll forget this place. If you stay…”
“If I stay, I’m breaking my promise to Meelah. I’m leaving Ellesmere behind and surrendering my humanity for the Ghods blessing.” She wanted to laugh. “It seems more like a curse to me.”
“It can be. Sometim
es,” he admitted, the corner of his lip lifting in a sad smile.
Tanith couldn’t help but frown. “If you’re half-fae, do you age?”
He shrugged. “To a point. I’ll be done aging in the next five years. Most of my wounds heal, just slower than the other faeries. The worse ones stick around, but I don’t get a new mark if I lie. That’s a plus.”
“And you get to keep your humanity,” Tanith noted. “That’s certainly not the worst thing.”
“It isn’t the best either,” Shaw countered quickly. “Humans are the imperfect reflection of the fae. To these people, I’m flawed. It comes in handy being a captain. It makes me unpredictable, which makes others tread carefully, but still, I’ll only ever be half the creatures they are.”
“Unless you touch the Light,” Tanith suggested. “Wouldn’t it wink out your human side?”
He looked up in surprise. “I hadn’t considered it. Maybe. I don’t know. I’ve been on the outside so long, I don’t think I want to be let in.”
“That’s understandable. It’s safer in your own bubble, but can we really just hide away here and let humanity dwindle into nothing? Are we really supposed to sit back, and watch kingdoms fall one by one?”
Shaw hesitated to answer as though he was plagued by similar questions. “I can’t make the choice for you, Tanith. At the end of the day, you need to figure out if you want to live here or in the human lands, but you can’t go between the two. It isn’t allowed.”
She studied the medals on his uniform. “But you do. You sail back and forth. Why can’t the rest of us?”
“Because I’m human and fae,” he reminded her. “Both legacies are mine to claim. Both lands.”
“One of those lands is on the brink of disaster.”
His lips pressed together in displeasure. “And this one flourishes. When nothing is left outside the island, Wickenvare will expand. It will grow and prosper. Start thinking about whether or not you want to be a part of it.”
“Why should I?” Tanith argued, her irritation growing. It was easy to remember why she was so cross with him. He was the most unlikable Shaw brother, after all. “There’s nothing for me here.”
She tasted the lie as it rolled off of her tongue. History. There was history in the making, and it was all she’d ever wanted. To see it happen. To write about it.
“You don’t know that. Kent and the others might stay. I’m… Well, I’m here too.”
“So? You had no problem leaving me this morning,” she stated bitterly.
His brown eyes widened as he sat up straighter. “Is that what this is about? That I left before you woke up?”
“Don’t be so egotistical,” she said quickly. “I’m just wondering why you bothered to throw your name in there. The prospect of being your mistress for the next few hundred years isn’t exactly promising.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” he asked, brows drawn in confusion. “I didn’t ask you to—”
“I know.” She shook her head, cheeks heating in embarrassment. She was still sore. Still tired, but she’d been running on adrenaline all day. “We didn’t make any declarations for each other beyond the truth. We were using one another. I didn’t forget.”
Shaw leaned back, shaking his head. “I’m sorry. I knew you’d be upset that I left without you, but I thought if I came back with Kent, it wouldn’t matter. I didn’t consider…”
“That waking up alone after having sex for the first time is a merciless entry into the world of intimacy. How could you have considered it if you never really cared for the person you laid with?”
“Tanith—”
“I didn’t expect you to. Then again, I also thought we were coming here to rescue Kent together.”
Shaw slowly ran his hand down his face, something akin to regret rolling off him in waves. “I didn’t know it was your first time. If I had, I wouldn’t have pushed you so hard. I would have…”
“You would have stayed?”
He nodded. “Yes. I mean… I think so.”
“You think so?” she asked in offense.
He rushed to explain. “Leaving had nothing to do with us.”
“There is no us,” she jutted in venomously.
“I know! I would have wanted to wake up with you if the situation had been different, but I couldn’t just drag you here after trying so hard to keep you away from this place. What I mean to say is that if I could do it over again, I wouldn’t have slept with you at all.”
“Wow,” Tanith stated in shock, rising to her feet.
“That’s not what I meant,” Shaw corrected quickly. “I would have wanted to wait for the right time—”
“You need to leave.”
“A time when it wasn’t so messy,” he went on.
Tanith pointed to the door, fuming. “Shaw. Get the hell out of my room.”
Her words settled over them. Her room. For better or worse, she hadn’t made a decision yet, but she’d be staying until she did.
He rose to his feet, an apology on his lips. “This isn’t how it was supposed to go.”
Tanith gave him a cruel smile. “We were never friends. We were never on good terms. You were a convenience to me, Vaere Shaw. As far as I’m concerned, you’re dead to me. Again.”
She watched his nostrils flare; his shoulders stiffen before he walked to the door and let himself out. The soft click that sounded behind him was anything but comforting, and for the first time since arriving on the island, she wasn’t sure whether to scream or cry.
The only thing she did know, was that she had a choice to make, and for once, she had time.
CHAPTER 15
There was no point in trying to slip out the window. Tanith came to terms with the fact after trying and failing to nap for two hours. After pacing and going over every detail of the room, it was clear that there was no avoiding the inevitable.
If she chose to leave, they’d escort her home. If she chose to stay, she’d have a new one. The only thing weighing her down was the baggage of her old life. And Shaw.
He was very hard to forget considering his scent of oak and cinnamon seemed to linger. If that wasn’t enough, she found the dresses he’d taken from the townhouse outside her door. Someone had knocked. Probably him, and now the white and green fabrics rested next to where she sat on the bed, stroking the long, soft silk with her brown fingers.
She only grew angrier the longer she had to think. The townhouse must have been his. He knew just where to find the key and the towels. The reason he didn’t kill the guards in the woods was because they served the same man. His careful calculations were infuriating, and she wondered if Kent felt as betrayed as she. Maybe more so.
“That’s an interesting choice of wear.”
She snapped her head up to see King Riven in her doorway, eyes fixed on the dress beneath her hand. “Don’t you knock?”
He chuckled slightly. “I did. You must not have heard me. I’m curious to know why you have a wedding dress. It’s lovely, though I’m not sure why your maid would have brought it to you.” He let himself in, closing the door behind him and leaning against the wall.
“It’s a wedding dress?” She looked at it again. Plain. Simple. Classic. Nothing like the fanciful colored gowns they wore at home.
The silver-haired man nodded. “Yes. White is the traditional color we wear at weddings on Wickenvare.”
“Oh,” she said simply. She hated Shaw even more. His games were so tiring. “I brought it with me. Is there a reason you’re here?”
The king raised a brow in surprise but brushed it off. “I wanted to speak with you privately before dinner.”
“Will you be speaking to Kent too?”
“No. We had our initial discussion in the throne room. You’re the one I’m interested to know more about,” he admitted. He looked every bit the all-powerful royal with his arms crossed over themselves, his shoulders lax and lips quirked.
“Little old me?”
He dipped his
chin. “Is that so hard to believe?”
Yes, she wanted to say. It was, but more than anything, she didn’t want him to know her. Not before she’d made her choice, so she chose to distract him instead. “Why don’t you tell me about you. Are we related?”
Riven scoffed. “No. My original ancestor was the prince of Larune, and the royal line has since been joined with firstborn descendants from Menne. Never from Ellesmere or the other three kingdoms.”
Tanith nodded. “Interesting. What do you do when you’re not on your throne of chains?”
He shifted as though to get more comfortable before answering. “I’m a stay-at-home king.”
They laughed in tandem. “Seriously?” she asked after catching her breath.
“Not really,” Riven answered. “Before I took my father’s place on the throne, it was my duty to venture onto human lands and seek out half-breeds.”
“How can you tell who’s half-fae if they’re in human form?”
“Every fae has a unique gift,” he told her. “Mine is metals. I can feel the vibration of it in my bones, and anyone with fae blood has an unholy amount of iron coursing through their bodies. I can sense them that way.”
“Metals, huh?”
“That’s why my throne is made of chains,” he explained. “Many of the half-breeds I found were enslaved or imprisoned. Humans often thought they were Crish, so when I brought them home, I added their chains to my throne. It’s rare I venture out now, though. It’s gotten more dangerous. Too risky for a king.”
Tanith raised her brow. “Even for an immortal king?”
“Yes. Immortals can be killed. We simply never grow old.”
She knew what it meant. Knew a select few things about the fae that she’d read in books of old lore, but they’d always been kept in the fiction section of the royal library. There was a reason she’d never paid the stories much mind. They weren’t supposed to be real.
“Your parents died? You said you inherited the throne.”
Riven nodded and sighed. “Sometimes when a couple is ready to move on to a new world, they choose to die together. My parents had lived and ruled Wickenvare for almost four hundred years. Now it’s my turn.”
Tanith & Shaw (The Fealty of Firstborns Series Book 1) Page 12