by Ciara Knight
He gripped the arms of the chair tight. “Yes, and that’s why I promise I’ll never put you in that situation again.”
“What about the women who live it now? They don’t have anywhere to go. They don’t have anyone to help them. Think of the young children forced to witness what the man does to his wife, the way you were forced to watch.” My stomach twisted and turned and knotted at the memories of Jeb’s little eyes blinking away tears while hiding under the bed.
Jeb nodded. “The law allows it. There is nothing we can do but mind our own business. No one was there to save us, and we managed. Don’t go getting yourself involved in something that could bring you harm. I understand that you are lonely and bored, but you’ll need to care for my new wife, Francine McKinney, when she arrives in a few months. She’ll be here as soon as the snow and ice thaw, clearing the land for travel. All arrangements have already been made.”
He stood and gathered his papers, the sign that our conversation was over no matter if I had more to say or not. I could argue and push for his attention, but it would only end with him not listening and leaving the house. “I’ll be leaving in the morning for Sherman if there is no more snow, and I’ll be back by the end of the day. Teddy will be here with you if you need anything.”
A hint of excitement fluttered around me with the idea that I would be free to visit with Fredrick and Agatha tomorrow, but in the morning a snowstorm hit so it wasn’t to happen. It wasn’t until three weeks later that Jeb made the trip to Sherman and I managed to sneak away.
I opened the door to a blast of welcomed cold and Teddy waiting at the bottom of the front steps with a horse saddled. “Fredrick and Agatha have been asking after you. Helga even grunted something at me when I stopped by to drop off some supplies I’d picked up for them. I know they are as anxious to see you as you are to see them. Be back by late day. No need to chance Jeb discovering your little secret.”
I slid a glove onto my hand. “Secret? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“The fact is we both know that Jeb wouldn’t even wait for an explanation before he put a bullet in Mr. Krause for even holding your hand.”
There were no words I could find to argue his point. Besides it would only waste time, so I gave him a nod and raced for the Krause homestead. For the first time in weeks, I felt alive, free, and looking forward to the day.
I rode hard across the land and couldn’t reach Fredrick fast enough. I’d missed him so much after only a few weeks. There was no way I wanted to go any longer. I leapt from my horse and raced into the barn, but Fredrick wasn’t there. I went to the house and knocked, not wanting to startle Agatha in her condition.
“Come in,” Agatha called out.
Inside, there was no Fredrick, only Agatha sitting in a wooden rocker that Fredrick had crafted. “Where is Fredrick?”
“It’s good to see you.” Agatha smiled but then lowered her knitting of a baby blanket and pushed out her bottom lip in a pout. “I’m afraid there is only me here today. Although, if you wait long enough, you might see Papa when he returns from Sherman. He’s been asked for a special delivery and went to pick up some more supplies. He took Aunt Helga to give me a break from her constant attention. He’s been working day and night on a bed for the baby, so I have been with Aunt Helga in this house by myself each day.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, but that’s nice. I’m sure the bed will be beautiful.” Even I didn’t believe the sincerity in my voice. I collapsed into a chair at her side. “I’m sorry. It’s just been so long since I saw Fredrick.”
“Why haven’t you been to see us? Papa hasn’t been his cheerful self lately. I think he misses you.” Agatha resumed her knitting, another thing I’d never learned to do.
“I’m sorry. I have to ease my son into the idea of me seeing a man again. Remember I told you how he is a good man but one who has lived a hard life. He can be difficult because he cares too much.”
She nodded. “But you can’t live your life for him anymore. He is a grown man, and from what you’ve told me a good man, so he will accept it and move on with his life. Besides, if you were to marry my papa, you would live close to your son and he could see how happy you are.”
“Marry? Oh, we have only talked about courting.”
Agatha slid the needle into the blanket, wrapped the yarn around it, and pulled it through. “You and I both know you care for my papa. And you know in your heart my papa would never hurt you. He would only protect you from harm. So why do you not wish to marry him?”
I studied the room with the ornate furniture, enjoyed the aroma of good food, saw the love in everything around me. “I don’t know. I guess it is easier to say I can forget the past than it is to move forward in life. The thought of letting a man own me again… It isn’t easy.”
“Papa would never try to own you. He’d only care for you, love you, cherish you.”
I toyed with a loose thread on my sleeve. “Yes, but the law gives him the freedom to do what he wants with me. Think about that poor woman who just died at her husband’s hand. How many more women suffer from this each day.”
“Papa said you’d found your passion. What will you do?” Agatha continued knitting as if we were discussing the color of the blanket she worked on.
“Do? What can I do?” I said in a wounded tone. That’s when I realized how much pain I still carried.
Agatha set the blanket to the side. Revealing a little bump of her belly. It was beautiful, and she glowed with joy. She scooted closer to me. “Perhaps if you help these women, you will help yourself. Go to Sherman with Papa next time and talk to some people, figure out a plan to help. If your eyes speak the truth, you will find a way to make life better for these women, and if you do, you’ll be able to open your heart again.”
“You are a special lady. I only wished my son could find a woman special like you. One he could fall in love with and live a happy life. Instead of allowing some mail-order bride to ruin his life. Can you imagine marrying someone you’ve never even met, just to produce sons?”
“Sometimes people fall in love even when they don’t intend to. When I met my husband, I thought of him as a stranger, and I’d only ever wanted to marry a boy from our village and raise a family. The minute he smiled at me, though, he was the only man for me.”
I couldn’t help but think about Fredrick. I’d never expected to be attracted to a man or to think about a future with him. My stomach churned with indecision and fear. Would I ever be able to fully commit to him? “You will be an excellent mother and father to your baby.”
She smiled, her light eyes shining. “Thank you. I hope Papa helps with some of that responsibility.”
“He will be a good man for the child to learn from.” I studied Agatha’s hands working feverishly on the blanket.
“Do you wish to learn to knit? I could teach you,” Agatha offered.
For a few hours I tried to learn to knit, but even poor Agatha didn’t have the patience to teach me the skill. When the sun crossed over the sky and faded from the front window, I knew I needed to return home. “I will try to visit tomorrow.”
When I stood, I heard a team of horses in the distance. I froze and listened until I confirmed the truth of the noise. I shoved my arms in my coat, grabbed my bonnet, and raced out the door. Fredrick didn’t even pull the team to a complete stop before he was on the ground and pulling me into his arms.
I savored the moment, melting into him like a snowman during the first thaw of spring. He released me but only a few inches. “I have missed you.”
“I have missed you, too. I waited, hoping you’d return before I headed back to the ranch. I’m so glad I did.”
He brushed his thumb down my cheek. “If I had known you be here, I would have stayed today and not gone to Sherman.”
“I didn’t know until this morning for sure if I could. I’ve been getting Jeb settled and looking after him his first few weeks back home, but I’m going to try to make it over more ofte
n.”
Helga grunted and spouted something, taking Fredrick away to help her down from the wagon. I hadn’t even noticed her sitting there when I ran out. She hobbled with a defiant step into the house and slammed the door.
Fredrick turned his attention back to me, waving off Helga’s outburst.
I scanned his face, studying the stubble on his chin, the way the crease next to his mouth deepened with his smile. “When you go to Sherman next time, can I ride with you? I wish to speak to some people in town.”
“Two weeks. Yes, I take you with me. We will make a day of it if weather holds. This time of year, unpredictable.”
“I understand. I’m afraid I must get home and get dinner ready for Jeb. He, too, was in Sherman today.”
“You are beautiful woman. I will look forward to seeing this face again soon. Yes?”
A flush covered my face and neck. “Yes.”
I tore myself away and mounted my horse to head back to the ranch. “Please tell Agatha I said good night. I look forward to seeing her soon. Oh, and Helga. Although, I don’t think she likes me. I have a feeling I am blessed not to understand what she says.”
Fredrick laughed. “Don’t worry. She not nice to anyone.”
I turned my horse to face the ranch, but Fredrick ran to my side. “Wait. I have letter for you. Came from town.”
“For me?”
“No, for your son, but thought you could deliver it to him. I didn’t know he was there today.”
I looked down at the postmark from Georgia and decided instantly to open it.
Dear Mr. Clayton,
Two sisters have switched, and you will now marry Elizabeth at the first chance that travel is safe from inclement weather. You will be pleased with this switch. She is a beauty.
“What is it? Is something wrong?” Fredrick’s rough, strong hand grazed mine still clinging to the letter.
“Everything is perfect. I now know how to stop this ridiculous mail-order bride from ruining my son’s life so that he can find a good woman to fall in love with.”
Chapter Twelve
The day finally arrived that I managed to convince Teddy to keep Jeb out working all day while I visited a neighboring homestead. He didn’t need to know from there I was traveling alone with a man to Sherman. I cuddled into Fredrick on his buckboard with blankets wrapped around us. It was quiet, and I’d missed him more than I ever thought possible. I didn’t know how, but after today, I needed to see him more often.
“When spring arrives, Jeb will be busy and I’ll have more free time.”
Fredrick stiffened at my side. “How much time?” We rolled into the edge of town, and he pulled the wagon over. “I had hoped by spring you would be done with courting and want to marry me.”
His words surprised me, but I should’ve expected no less than the innocent directness of Fredrick Krause. It was one of the things I loved about him.
“It is complicated. Jeb isn’t ready, and I can’t leave him at the ranch alone. Not when I am the cause of so much of his pain. Once I help him see that love can exist, then we will all be happy.”
His jaw twitched, and he shook his head. “Are you sure it is your son you are worried for, or is it yourself? I never will hurt you, Mary. Never.”
I folded my fingers into prayer hands and forced myself to believe my own words, which I knew were true. Somehow my brain and my heart didn’t know the same thing, though. “I know you would never hurt me. You would never hurt any woman.”
“Good, then we go, and we help other women. You see, I only help, not hurt.”
His words followed me into the barber shop, where he spoke to a friend about the goings on of townsfolk. Apparently the barber knew everything about everyone. I stood at the window and eyed the brothel across the street. How many women ended up there? Was it by choice or an escape from a fate worse than the idea of selling their bodies?
I saw a young girl brushing dirt from the entranceway. She couldn’t be over ten or eleven years old. Certainly, she wasn’t a prostitute. I slid out the door with Fredrick following close behind.
“Excuse me. Do you work here?”
Two girls with bossoms on full display surrounded me. “You have questions, speak to the madame.”
I cleared my throat and looked inside the open door. If I stepped inside, what would I find? If I didn’t, would I have abandoned another girl in need? I pulled my coat tight around my neck and marched inside. To my surprise, I spotted furniture that replicated Fredrick’s artistry. They had to be original from him. Had he frequented this establishment? Is that how he remained happy despite not having a wife?
“Are you looking for work?” A woman with hair teased around her face and brightly colored fabric stood in the main hallway. Her eyes drifted from my face to behind me and settled on Fredrick. I didn’t like the hungry gaze she served him.
“I am here to take that girl off your hands. I cannot allow you to sell her. She deserves a life of a child, and I will take responsibility for her. I have a ranch outside of town. I can feed and clothe her.”
“You and what man?” she said but didn’t look at me. “It is nice to see you again, Mr. Krause. The bed you made is…sturdy.”
I stepped in the way of her heated look on my Fredrick. “Not that I need a man—I can take care of myself now—but I have a grown son who runs the ranch. You have probably heard of him. Jeb Clayton.”
“Oh, I’ve heard of him. Haven’t we, girls?” she said with an air of sarcasm in her voice. The woman who’d followed them inside giggled.
With one wave of a hand from the madame, the women dispersed. “I run a respectable establishment here. That young girl outside is not part of my girls. She only cleans to earn some money for her family. She does not need your charity, and despite what you may think of me, my girls are well cared for.”
Krause put a hand on my shoulder. “She did not mean disrespect. It is the women who do not work for you. The women who are beaten or worse. Mary Clayton wants to help them.”
The madame’s tight-face gaze loosened, and she let her hands drop from her hips. “You know I started this place to give women an option besides marriage.”
“Yes,” Fredrick said.
I searched the nice building and realized that this was a choice, one that I might have even considered if it meant I didn’t have to face my husband and all the pain that came with him, but I would’ve hated myself. “What of the women who do not wish to work here or remain with their husbands?”
She tilted her head and raised a brow. “What of them?”
“I wish to find a way to give them a chance to earn money and live independently. Perhaps sew, or clean, or wash, or cook for those who need it. We can give them a place to sleep and food to eat while they begin a new life.”
“Where is this place they will live?” she asked. “I don’t provide free shelter here.”
Fredrick cleared his throat. “You started this place for good reason. If I can find home for women to sleep and Mrs. Clayton can figure out how they make money to survive, would you help?”
The madame closed her eyes, as if to see the truth. “Of course. I only wish I would’ve had such assistance when I needed it. Of course, I had you.”
I stiffened and turned to look at Fredrick, but did I want to know the truth of her words? If I asked him, he would never lie. The one thing I loved the most about the man at my side, I also didn’t like at all. Not at this moment.
“You figure things out, and I will donate some clothes and even talk to some of our regulars about donating some things. Many of our men wish to help, but this is a rough town and they don’t want any trouble. This way, they can help without picking a fight with the man in the room or home next to him.”
Fredrick backed me out of the brothel, and we headed home. Our task was accomplished, and the first phase of my plan worked out, but we still rode in silence until he finally stopped a few miles from the ranch. “I had short relationship with Madame Cl
are. We lived in Sherman before homestead. She was not right for me. Good woman, though. You are right woman for me.”
I toyed with the end of the blanket, forcing my wayward emotions under control. I didn’t know if I could say yes to marrying him right now, but I knew I couldn’t lose him either. That wasn’t fair, but I didn’t know what to do about it.
“Of course, you not marry me soon, maybe she wants to have husband now.” He smiled, but for the first time, I didn’t enjoy his humor. He flicked the reins. “We go home now.”
Dark clouds began to roll in, and I knew it would be more days of bad weather, trapped inside of the house. “I don’t know if Jeb will allow the women to live on the ranch. What will we do for a place?”
“We will figure it out, together.” Fredrick lifted my hand to his lips and pressed a kiss. Even with my mittens, I still felt the warmth of his lips. “Your passion is my passion now.”
I smiled, a real smile, one that tightened my cheeks and made me warm inside, despite the icy wind.
Fredrick squeezed my hand. “I have one question, though.”
“What’s that?”
“When can I ask your son for his permission to marry you?”
Chapter Thirteen
My nerves kicked up to runaway horse speed. My pulse hammered with enough force I thought Jeb would be able to hear me coming down the stairs. I needed to be strong, confident, and treat this as any other occasion. But it wasn’t just any occasion. It was the day I would introduce the man I loved to the son who would hate him.
With a deep breath, I descended the stairs into the kitchen. There was no way out of this now, not when I had promised Fredrick that I would introduce him to Jeb. He was expecting to move forward in our courting, and it was time.
I’d make a big lunch to show Jeb how much I’d learned from Agatha, and we would all sit down and share a neighborly meal together. Fredrick had agreed that we wouldn’t broach our romantic relationship today. One step at a time would be the way to ease Jeb into this without anyone losing their life.