He leaned toward her over the table, his soft composure hardened. “I don’t like the lying.”
Trying to ignore the implication of his fierce features, she pushed on. “Page two is marked with the things I’d be okay with trying…but if I don’t like them, they’re out.” She sounded as though she were negotiating a plea agreement. She’d learned a thing or two working as a paralegal. Better to come with high demands and settle for less—which is exactly where you wanted to be in the first place. He listened patiently as she went through the things she would try and things she wouldn’t give a second thought to. He let her continue her monologue until her well-rehearsed speech was over.
“Okay, now…” he picked up the third page and waved it over the table, “anal sex isn’t as bad as you think it is, and the training can be extremely fun.”
She could have sworn he grew red horns with the smile he offered. A quick glance around them, and she relaxed. No one had heard him.
“And I don’t want to be punished.”
“Of course you don’t. I don’t want to have to punish you.” He leaned back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest. The position reminded her of a line being drawn in the sand—a line not to be crossed. “There are so many other fun things we could do instead, but if you earn one, you get one.”
“If I say no to punishments?” She met his gaze.
“That’s part of the deal, Jessica. Hopefully, it won’t be something we have to do—or do often, at least.” He let out a long breath and steadied his gaze. “Okay…we’ll put anal sex off for a bit…until we know each other better. Punishments stay. Anything else?”
“I don’t want to call you sir like that girl did. I want to use your name.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not less than you. I don’t want to feel like I am.” Her eyes dropped from his; her voice fell as well.
“Jessica, look at me.” There wasn’t room for negotiation in his command, but he kept his voice soft.
She was only mildly surprised when she obeyed. The action didn’t feel as unnatural as she’d thought, but the feeling it brought about teetered on uncomfortable. It just felt right.
“You are not less than me or anyone else. Even if you call me Sir, that won’t change. The title isn’t an issue now. What is an issue is you understanding even as my submissive you will always be as important to the relationship as I am. We can’t have one without the other. Our roles are different, not our levels of importance.”
“You know, I haven’t been avoiding you the past few days because I didn’t want to talk to you. I was avoiding you because I was doing a lot of research and digging around about all of this,” she admitted in a rush. Being called his submissive heated her cheeks even more. The entire conversation veered off the path she’d intended, and if she didn’t get it back under control, she’d probably agree to be chained to his bed every night. All the careful planning she had done for this meeting hadn’t worked; the course had changed.
“You don’t jump into anything blindly.” His ability to see her in raw form unsettled her. The wall she’d built carefully didn’t slow him down.
“No.” She ran her finger around the rim of her cup. He watched her in silence.
“What is it?” he finally asked with an edge to his tone.
“This arrangement. I don’t want it to get personal.” She looked at him with sincerity in her eyes and voice. She cradled her coffee in her hands, waiting for his response. It was new territory, but one she was certain would keep her from getting her heart broken. After their evening together, she’d realized she’d like to see him again. She enjoyed everything they’d done, and she could imagine enjoying experiencing more of it. But she didn’t do casual, and she didn’t do relationships. The next best idea was to keep things on a friendly playing field. No emotional strings. No one getting hurt.
“Personal?” He crossed his arms over his chest again and scooted down in his seat, as though settling in for a long conversation. There would be no deterring this man.
“Yes. I mean… When we are together, then we are together, but I don’t want any of this to spill over to my time alone. When you aren’t with me, you don’t have a say. You don’t have power outside the times we are together.”
“Like your career, money, that sort of thing?”
“Right, and everything else.”
“Explain everything else.”
“I read this blog where the woman was told what she could and couldn’t eat for the day, when to exercise, what to wear… I don’t want that. When we aren’t together, I’m in control of myself.”
“And when we are together, you aren’t,” he added.
“Yes.”
“What about other partners? Do you want to have other partners when we aren’t together?”
“No,” she rushed to say. “I don’t want…I mean…I know we had sex a bit early on…and I know it’s cliché to say, but…I’ve never done that before.” A fresh blush rose on her cheeks. “That brings up another good point.”
“What does?” He took a sip of his coffee.
“Love.”
“Love?” He grinned, like he couldn’t wait to see what she had to say about the subject.
“It’s not my goal or my intention in any way.” She brought her cup to her lips. The conversation made much more sense in her head than it did slipping from her mouth.
“Okay, let me get this straight. When we are together, you submit to me, follow my rules, and do as you’re told. When we are not together, you are completely your own person. I have no ruling there. You don’t want to have other partners outside of our…what did you call it…arrangement? But you have no intention of letting love into our relationship.” He seemed to be holding in a smile as he listed her demands.
She nodded; glad he’d managed to follow along with her. Having to repeat it all would have been strenuous under his scrutiny. “That’s right.” She sat straighter in her chair.
He eyed her silently, lips firmly pressed together.
“You can’t tell me love is a requirement,” she pushed on. Shouldn’t her statement be a relief to him?
“This has to be the strangest negotiation I’ve ever been involved in.” He scratched behind his ear. “Love isn’t something you plan,” he informed her.
“I know. I just wanted to be sure you knew I wasn’t seeking it. So, you don’t have to worry. When we are done, we are done. No hard feelings.” She folded her hands over her coffee cup and grinned.
“Let’s put the topic of love on the same shelf as anal. We’ll come back to it some other time.” He took a deep breath. She didn’t think he rattled easily, but his expression made her think he wasn’t sure what to make of her. Which was fine—the less mind reading he did, the better.
“Do we need to sign a contract or something?” she whispered across the table.
He chuckled. “No, I don’t think we need to do that. I think we should ease into things and reevaluate in a few weeks.”
She agreed. She peeked at her watch, and her eyes widened. She had a big deposition in the morning and knew her boss wouldn’t be ready for it if she didn’t get the file in order.
“I need to get going.” She gulped down her coffee.
“I’ll walk you.” He stood with her.
“No need.” She slid her arms into her coat.
“Rule one. When we are together, I decide how and when you go home. I’m walking you home.”
She hadn’t realized how deep his voice was before. She rolled her eyes and tossed her purse over her shoulder. “Fine.”
“Rule two. No eye-rolling.”
“You really like counting.” She stepped out into the brisk air ahead of him.
Chapter 4
Jeremy Wilson became partner at the age of thirty-one. His record as a lawyer impressed anyone who sat long enough for him to tell it to. His specialty included finance and fraud cases. He was intelligent, decent looking, and could be a snake charmer if needed
. He was also a prick.
During her second year at the firm, Jessica was assigned as his paralegal. Jeremy, with all his brains, was lazier than a fat cat sitting on a sunny windowsill. She hadn’t gone to law school, but she knew finance law nearly as well as he did. This was an asset, because if she didn’t do most of his work, his work wouldn’t get done. He was great at schmoozing the clients and pulling in big cases. His presence in depositions and courtrooms couldn’t be denied as flawless, but if Jessica didn’t hand him his arsenal before heading into those depositions and courtrooms, he would fall on his face every time.
Alex tried to convince her repeatedly to go back to school. To get a law degree and wipe her ass with guys like Jeremy. Jessica had her reasons for not trying to obtain a law degree. For starters, school cost money—a lot of money—and she was already struggling to keep her head above water. Besides, as good as she was at her job, law wasn’t her passion.
She’d settled with being a paralegal. The work was enjoyable. Although Jeremy was a pain in the ass, she learned a lot from working for him. If only he’d keep his eyes above her neck when he talked to her. She hated turtlenecks, but resorted to wearing them whenever possible.
Since Jeremy would be out of the office for most of the day, she decided to dive into the next pile of files to sort and compile the data he would need the following week. It would keep her mind from turning to Royce.
They had seen each other nearly every night since their coffee four days ago. Since they both worked pretty late, they met at his place for dinner. He cooked every night and was excellent at it. Not once had he let her bring food or allowed her to help.
There hadn’t been any more sex, and it was beginning to drive Jessica a little cross-eyed. She suspected he was doing it on purpose. He had to know how hot he was making her with all his little caresses. She did her very best not to pout when he pulled away from a kiss and turned the subject to something else.
Each night he gave her another rule about being at his place. He didn’t like her to wear shoes. She thought it odd, since he kept his on, but she complied. When she entered his apartment, she slipped out of her shoes and placed them neatly by the front door on a small mat he kept for her.
She was to clear the table after they ate their meal. He was specific in how he liked it to be done. She knew well enough how she liked things done to her own preferences, so she didn’t see anything wrong with complying to this rule. If she was going to be honest, having him show her how to put the dishes into the dishwasher, and correct her when she did it wrong, was hot.
Their conversations didn’t delve into deep sexual topics or even anything related to the new submissive role she was taking on, as she originally had assumed. Much like when he walked her home that very first night, he appeared to be interested in her for her. She did her best to evade his questions by turning the topic to him. He in turn would bring the conversation back to her. When she had tried again to turn the tide, he gave her a warning, his eyes stern.
“If you keep attempting to control this conversation, you will end up in the corner with your pants down around your knees and a very sore backside.”
She swallowed and nodded. She wasn’t sure what to say at that moment. She’d felt completely chastised and small. She wanted to yell and sit silently at the same time. He had said punishments would be a part of their arrangement, but she was in no hurry to try one out. Luckily, he returned to the conversation with a calm, relaxed voice, and she did the same.
Royce had kept his word. He didn’t bother her while she worked, at least not with demands of any kind. He did send her a text once a day asking how her day was going. She always waited an hour before responding.
Friday finally arrived, which meant she would work late and then join her friends for dinner. The text from Kelly informing her of where dinner was taking place hadn’t arrived yet. Jessica hoped against all odds Kelly would pick a place that served food on real plates, and one where she could read the menu.
Jeremy sauntered into her small office adjoining his and threw himself down in the chair in front of her desk. She looked up from her laptop in surprise, then checked her watch.
“What happened?” she asked.
He folded his hands behind his head and threw his feet on top of her desk, knocking over the small framed picture of her parents. She frowned at him and stood the frame back up.
“Nothing happened.” He shrugged and grinned. She could almost see the arrogance dripping from his mouth. “I won. They’re going to settle.”
“What?” she asked in shock. “How? They were so determined to see this through the system.” She shut her laptop, trying not to get too excited. Nothing was straightforward with Jeremy.
“Oh, they were. I told them to give me a number, and they did. It worked out for us. The employees get half of what they lost back, our fees are paid, and the new corporation wants to put us on retainer to watch over their HR department to be sure they stay legal from now on.” His grin stretched to his ears.
“Half of their retirement money?” she said in disbelief. “Jeremy, some of those people are getting ready to retire now. How can they live with only half? Their money was stolen,” she pointed out, desperate to make him see the wrong in what he was doing.
“Bah! They should have planned better.” He waved his hand in the air and jumped out of his seat. “Never put all your eggs in one bucket. You’ve heard of that saying, right?” He paused at the door to wait for her answer.
“It’s basket,” she corrected, taking a calming breath. “Did they agree to this settlement?”
“They will. I need you to draft up the letter and have them all sign off on it. You can sell it to them, I know it. This new account will mean big things for the firm.” He snapped his fingers in excitement and disappeared into his office.
Her phone vibrated. Kelly’s pick—Hooters.
Great. At least they would understand the menu. She slid her phone across the desk and stared into the air.
The letter took longer to draft than she’d anticipated. Having to crush someone’s dreams of retirement tended to make words flow with less ease. Royce and Jessica entered the restaurant half an hour after the time the group agreed to meet. She’d been hesitant about Royce joining them for Friday night dinner, but Alex had already asked him if he would be joining them again this week. It seemed Royce was invited either way.
Royce had met her at her office, a surprise she didn’t mind for once. He was a welcome sight after the encounter with her grimy boss. The warm kiss and strong arm around her shoulder helped ease some of the tension from her shoulders. His fingers gently probed the back of her neck in the cab on the way to the restaurant while he asked about her day. She’d tried to shrug it off, but he insisted she share. Thankfully, he’d accepted a generalized statement that work had been especially shitty and she didn’t really want to talk about it.
“We ordered chicken wings for everyone. Some big platter thing,” Kelly informed them as they approached the round table in a far corner. Kelly had spied them walking in together, and Jessica cringed at the dropped smile and defeated look in her eyes.
She’d meant to call Kelly during the week to let her know what was going on with Royce. But Jessica couldn’t find the words to explain it to herself let alone someone else.
“That sounds great.” Jessica plopped into her seat between Alex and Royce and reached for the pitcher of beer.
“Whoa. Bad day?” Alex handed her a glass. Beer would not be her first choice, but it was already on the table, and she needed a drink.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Jessica poured herself a glass and offered the pitcher to Royce, who declined.
“The douche?”
“Yep.” Jessica sipped her beer, doing her best to ignore its bitterness.
Jonathan and Erin broke in and told everyone their plans for the wedding. Erin was moving things along and finally beginning to shop for her wedding dress. Kelly offered to
go with her, and before Jessica was able to join the conversation, a date had been set in two weeks to spend the day walking along the Magnificent Mile in search of the perfect dress. The date for the wedding, however, was still unsettled.
Royce leaned over and whispered into Jessica’s ear, “Only one beer. I have plans for us when we’re done here.”
She nodded, keeping her eyes on her friends chatting. Royce had made it clear in the cab that even though they were in public, he was still in charge. She hadn’t had the strength to argue or fight him. She’d enjoyed the warmth of his arm around her shoulders too much to ruin it.
“When are you going to drop that damn job and go back to school? They have grants and scholarships. You can do it if you really want to.” Alex started in on her job again after the dinner plates had been cleared away.
“Why not go for a new career with your English background?” Royce chimed in.
Jessica sought out help from Erin, who promptly threw her hands in the air. “Don’t look at me! I never understood why you switched gears like you did. You would make the perfect editor.”
“Thanks!” Jessica rolled her eyes, and then jumped at the sharp pinch on her thigh, snapping her attention to Royce.
He raised an eyebrow.
“Oh.” She realized the error she’d made and quickly returned her attention to her friends.
“I have no experience with anything in the publishing world.” She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and readjusted her seat.
“So,” Kelly stated, “you could make some new contacts if you went for your master’s.”
“Okay, well, that still leaves money. I can’t get my master’s and work sixty-hour weeks. Unless one of you knows Daddy Warbucks, I’m just going to have to accept the road I chose. And so should all of you.” She smiled at them and stood. “Are you ready?”
Royce raised his eyebrow at her again. “No,” he said with a smirk.
They stared at each other for a full minute before Jessica slowly sank down into her chair. Her face flushed from knowing her friends had witnessed the exchange. He hadn’t ordered her into her chair. That wasn’t his style. He simply waited until she realized he wasn’t backing down, because she would have to be the one who did. She was to follow his lead, and, if he wasn’t ready to go, neither was she.
WINDY CITY: The complete series Page 5