“This is for Kyle. This is for Aunt May,” I projected, frying more pieces into oblivion. Chalen was no longer a living being to me.
His limbless body writhed, face down in the filth. A human would have died already, or drifted into unconsciousness at the very least, but he was completely conscious and sobbing like child. The dark desire to drag out his suffering melted away, leaving nothing but horror and shame.
“Do you want the pain to end?”
“Yes,” his mind screeched.
“Then apologize and mean it.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” his mind cried over and over.
“So be it. This last cut, this is for Doug. Rot in hell.”
My control of Aether had grown lethal. I burned the rest of him until his essence collapsed into a white light. Flash. Gone. Oh holy shit, what did I just do?
Numbly, I slipped back to my body and opened my eyes. I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t find any words. Pain, searing pain, was everywhere. My hands were bloody and caked in dirt. Something hung off my right ring finger. Blood oozed through dirt and blood dripped off the fingernail that dangled by a thin piece of skin. “Oh my gosh, it hurts.”
Mom was beside herself. “Maggie, what happened? Did they attack you?”
“Who?” I moaned, cradling my hands. “No, no one attacked me. What happened?”
The vague memory of seeing the pathetic woman at the grave worked its way past the fire in my bloody fingers.
“You projected,” Gavin said.
“How did you get here?”
He took my hands and began healing the wounds, reattaching and repairing the nail, straightening and healing the broken index finger on my left hand.
“I don’t remember doing any of this.” I felt embarrassed and ashamed. I stood and tried to pull free from Gavin’s grip. They each looked at me as if they had no idea who I was. Sara and Billy looked even more mortified than the rest. Oh god.
“Did you see?” I asked.
Billy’s face was contorted. He looked like he was about to puke. “Yes…sorry. It wasn’t intentional. You projected. Your mental barrier was down—we were only touching you to keep you from breaking anything else.”
“What happened?” Candace asked. “You look like a ghost.”
Sara composed herself, but she was visibly shaken. She kept eye contact with me, but left me with the impression she could barely stand the sight of my face.
“Mags, what happened?” Candace asked again.
“I killed Chalen…with Aether.”
Sara closed her eyes and turned her head, her hand over her mouth.
Candace gasped and her mouth fell open, Ronnie’s eyes bugged out, and Mom looked on the verge of tears. Gavin didn’t react.
“While projecting?” Poseidon muttered, taking physical form at a short distance.
“Was it that bad?” Candace asked.
I was ashamed and frightened about how sadistic I could be. Was I really that damaged—so damaged that I tortured him? Candace asked me something else, jostling me back to reality. The entire time I was silent she read me, picking up on all the things I wasn’t able to say. Her expression grew much more serious.
“It was…really bad. I don’t want to talk about it. He’s dead.”
“Good,” Ronnie said, red-faced and teary eyed. “After what he did to Doug, I hope he suffered.”
I bristled and fought with nausea. Was that remorse? I sure hoped so.
Sara studied me with wild eyes. “You can create Aether while projecting—and control it.”
“Yes, she can,” Billy said. “She saved me three nights ago, but until now she couldn’t control it.”
“We must not speak of this to anyone,” Poseidon said.
As he, Billy, Gavin, and Sara talked about the implications, Mom took my arm and whispered. “Maggie, are you okay?”
I’m teetering on the edge of insanity. “I’m fine,” I managed. “I just need a little time—being here was probably not the best idea.”
“And you don’t remember hurting yourself?”
Tears welled up in my eyes. “No, I don’t,” I said too sharply. The others stopped talking. “All I remember is…well…seeing his grave and then drifting off. The next thing I knew I was stalking Chalen. I’m sorry,” I said to all of them.
“It’s okay, Mags,” Ronnie said. “It was a bad idea. We can go back to the Weald if you want.”
“Yes, that’s what we need to do,” Grandma said.
“No.”
Grandma gave me a worried smile.
“No, really, you all need a break from that place. I think it’s clear I need a break.”
Mom tried to smile. “Are you sure, sweetheart?”
Sweetheart, that’s a misnomer. “Yes. What was on the agenda after Maggie’s nervous breakdown in the cemetery?” I tried to joke
“Food, other stuff,” Candace said.
“As long as other stuff doesn’t involve any emotional triggers, let’s do that. I’m not very hungry right now,” I said.
Gavin whispered, “Let me…”
“What?” I asked.
“Get the dirt off—you’re filthy.”
Okay, we’ll go back to the car and wait on you…Gavin’s driving. Mitch, you come with us.”
“Yes ma’am,” we said in unison.
When my grandparents, Mom and Mitch were out of earshot, I felt the need to apologize again. “Wow, sorry…I don’t even want to know what I did.”
“Don’t ask,” Ronnie said.
“Oh god, that bad?”
Candace nodded.
Ronnie turned his head and nodded. “Girl, at first I was like, wow, bitch has lost it. I thought you were trying to dig him up.”
From out of nowhere, I started laughing.
Candace slapped his shoulder and tried not to laugh. “You’re so wrong,”
“Please,” he said, “tell me Doug isn’t looking down right now laughing his ass off—she totally made a fool of herself.”
I laughed harder. “Remind me to tell jokes the next time you’re distraught.”
“Deal. The next time I try to breaststroke on a fresh grave, you can say whatever you want.”
“Stop talking, jerk.”
It felt good to laugh, but only the three of us found any humor. Billy, Sara, Poseidon, and even Gavin, all remained quiet. Worried, even. Sara couldn’t look at me.
“Hey guys,” I said to Ronnie and Candace. “Can you ride with Mom? I need to talk to them.”
“I will go with them, keep them safe.” Poseidon said.
“We’ll catch up.”
THIRTY-THREE
ERUPTION
Ronnie and Candace disappeared between headstones, leaving an awkward silence in their wake.
“Sara?”
“Maggie,” she said, her eyes diverted.
It made me feel small and dirty. “I’m sorry.”
“About what? Torturing a Fae, or laughing afterwards like nothing happened? Both?”
“Yes, all of it, none of it. I don’t know. Will you please look at me?”
Her black eyes shot to my face. “I’m looking. Tell me, what should I see?”
“That’s unfair,” Billy said.
“Is it?” she said, her gaze drilling a hole through me.
“Yes, it is. She did what she had to do,” he said.
“Had to do it?” she growled.
“Yes,” he said defiantly.
“No,” I said. “I can speak for myself. I admit, I went too far.”
Sara’s nostrils flared. “Too far? You were cruel, vicious.”
Her anger and condemnation set my emotions off again. I cried as I spoke. “I don’t know why—”
“You were completely out of control—and with your power, that’s incredibly dangerous,” she said. “What you did was worse than Chalen.”
Billy ground his teeth together and she glared at him, but before they could exchange barbs, I went of
f, my emotions doing a one-eighty. “Worse than Chalen? You don’t know what in the hell you’re talking about, Sara.”
“And cursing is how you’re going to explain it to me?”
“Sara, stop,” Billy said.
“No, Sara, don’t stop,” I said. “You have no clue. But that’s my fault, I guess. I never showed you what I’ve seen…you’re in the dark. Worse than Chalen? Oh I don’t think so. You didn’t see Aunt May die, did you? No, you didn’t because I hid it from you. Not anymore.”
“Maggie, don’t,” Gavin begged.
I ignored him and played the images Chalen forced me to watch when he murdered her. Sara closed her eyes and turned her head.
“No, you don’t, don’t turn away from me,” I barked. “I’m not done—do you see her struggling for breath?”
“Yes,” she said in a forceful whisper.
“Oh, but there’s more. You see, standing here above his grave, all you know is that he died. You didn’t have to see it like I did. None of you did.” I ran the scene through my head, whimpering like a wounded dog as I did. “You see, Sara, I showed Chalen more compassion than he showed Doug.”
“Okay,” she said, her voice breaking.
“No, not yet—the best part is coming,” I growled. The memory moved to Chalen pulling a rib out of Doug’s chest. The vision was silent, but the agony in Doug’s face, the fear in his eyes—those images spoke volumes. “He tore him apart,” I said, wheezing. “Tore him apart—because of me.” Tears poured down my face, but I stood firm.
Sara cried. “Maggie, I was upset and didn’t mean what I said.”
“Yes, you did. You were being honest—you said what all three of you were thinking. I saw it on your faces. And now that I think about it, you were right. What I did was awful. Chalen killed Aunt May and Doug to get to me—their blood is on my hands as well as his.”
Billy crossed his arms. “That’s not true.”
“Right, we’re different. He was cruel and maniacal on purpose, I’m a sadist because I can’t keep control.”
“Maggie, you’re nothing like Chalen. Sara was cruel for suggesting it,” Billy said.
My shoulders rocked as I stifled a sob. “Yes, I am, and you know it—you saw it. But it’s not my fault. Your kind did this to me.” They reacted as though I’d punched each one of them in the mouth. “I’m scared of what I’m becoming. What I did to him terrifies me. But do you want to know the really sick part? I’m glad I killed him.” I took a deep breath. “God, what kind of person am I?” I turned and started walking away. “I think I’m on the verge of a psychotic break.”
“You’re going to be fine,” Gavin said.
“Am I? Are you ever going to look at me without seeing what I did? Tell me I don’t repulse you?” I squawked over my shoulder.
“You don’t repulse me. I understand why you did what you did,” he said, materializing directly in my path. “I agree with Billy, what Sara said was reckless and stupid.”
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“The worst part of this isn’t knowing that I’m going to die—I’ve come to grips with that. Hell, I practically said goodbye to Mom and Mitch last night. It’s that I need to die. This conflict has changed me, ruined me, made me crazy—I’m not the same person I was a year ago and each of you knows that.”
Gavin shook his head.
“No, Gavin, you above all know it’s true. I’m so self-centered. Did you know I actually tried to talk Mom into taking my place today? I did,” I said, thinking about it. “I’m a complete bitch. They should all get as far away from me as they can. Gavin, you were right—being a Maebown is a bad thing.”
Gavin appeared agitated. “Are you done yet?”
“Done? Thank you, Gavin. As unwilling as always to discuss the things I need to talk about. Keeping all of this bottled up—I’m going to explode.”
I walked past him, back towards the car.
“Maggie, we can talk…Maggie. Will you stop?”
“Is everything alright up here?” asked a voice to my right.
A brown-haired police officer, with his hand on the butt of his gun, walked awkwardly through the marble and granite headstones.
“Compel him,” I whispered.
Gavin tried, but the officer kept coming.
“What are you doing in here?” he asked.
Billy spoke first. “Sir, it really isn’t any of your business.” I felt Billy try to enter the officer’s mind. He also failed.
Billy looked confused.
“Do I have to ask you again?” the cop asked. There was something in his voice that I hadn’t recognized at first, and even though he appeared completely human, he was not.
“Where have you been?” I asked.
“Doing your bidding, of course,” the officer answered. “The Ancient Ones, the Oceanids, all the remaining free clans in the south, I even visited the Kobold.”
Sara squinted her eyes and stepped closer. “He’s human—completely human.”
In another crazy shift of emotion, I found myself smiling. “Thank god you’re here.”
“Thank whomever you want. In any event, it appears as if I arrived just in time. This raw display of emotion, most unbecoming.”
“Bastien?” Gavin asked.
“Yes, Gavin.” He nodded. “Billy. Sara.”
“How…?” Billy muttered.
“Oh come now, Billy, you don’t really expect me to reveal all my secrets, do you?”
Billy blushed. It was only the second time I’d ever seen him do so.
“More pressing than my transformation—which is brilliant, I admit—is the question of what we must do to get the four of you—how do humans put it…? Yes, to get the four of you on the same page. The bickering must stop, both with Maggie, and amongst yourselves. If you are to carve a new future, you must work together.”
“It was just the heat of the moment,” I said. “We’ll be fine.”
“In your own words, my dear—bullshit,” Bastien said. He smiled and began speaking more to himself than to us. “It’s a coarser vernacular than I am typically comfortable using, and completely profane, but it does convey the intent with exactitude.” He looked up and studied our faces. “Maggie needs support, not condemnation—she needs understanding. And Maggie, you really must cancel the pity party—no one’s rsvp’d.”
“You didn’t see what I did to Chalen?”
“I’ve gathered from the wailing and the self-loathing you’ve let seep through your thoughts, that you killed Chalen and it wasn’t quick. That changes nothing. Death is violent. A peaceful, merciful death is possible for beings who are unconscious when it occurs. Lamenting over how it was brought about is solely the province of the living. I assure you, Chalen no longer cares.” Bastien looked down at the fresh graves. “And neither does this boy or his parents.”
I felt my body slump as a fresh set of emotions rattled through.
“You see—right there. You’re doing it again. His suffering ended weeks ago. Why do you insist on extending yours? No, don’t answer that. We do not have time. The enemy is moving everywhere. You have a week, perhaps more, perhaps less, to draw her into the open. The Ancient Ones, the Kobold, all of them, are moving to eliminate the virus in their territories. It’s a flaw in Ozara’s plan—due, I believe, to her psychotic need to maintain control, which of course is a byproduct of the type of control she exercises. She need only study humans to know better than to rely on coercion. The fool.”
“What’s happening in a week?” Gavin asked.
“That I do not know, but the timing of whatever it may be is undeniable. I expect it to be more diabolical, more violent. We’ve stopped the human war—or at least made it perfectly difficult to continue. Blind men do not duel.”
“Blind men?”
“A solar flare—at least that is how the humans are describing it—has temporarily shut down the power grid from Japan to South Africa and laid havoc on the weapons of war. But humans are resilient i
n their desire to kill one another, so it is just a pause. Miraculous timing, wouldn’t you say?”
“So what do we do?”
“If I’m not mistaken, Maggie just learned how to become completely irresistible to Ozara. The timing must be right, and when it is, Ozara will return to the Weald.”
“You mean, kill more Fae?” Sara asked.
“Not all of them. You need only expose Ozara’s weakness, and, if you can, expose her treachery.”
“What do you mean?” Billy asked.
“Maggie knows,” Bastien answered.
I did know. I remembered Bastien suggesting at Fontainebleau that I kill Zarkus. That was Caorann’s plan, and it was the plan that had nearly killed Tse-xo-be.
“It seems there is but one thing left to do.”
I shook my head. I had no idea what Bastien was talking about.
“Teaching Billy, Sara, and Gavin Aether, of course.”
Billy nearly twisted his head off. “What?”
Bastien laughed lightly. “You intend to pick a successor to Caorann, yes?”
“How did you know that? I only told the elders yesterday?”
“I was there.”
“That’s terrifying,” Sara said.
“Yes,” Bastien said, “but very useful. Fear not, Ozara doesn’t realize it’s possible to—well, do what I do.”
“Bastien, if you learned Aether—”
“You are nothing, if not persistent,” Bastien said cutting me off.
“I’m sorry, I know you don’t want it.”
Billy and Gavin focused intently on Bastien. Sara was still avoiding eye contact.
“No, Maggie, I do not want it. I met you four hundred twenty-two hours ago. Since then, I’ve spent that time in the world of my kind. Nothing has changed in the last five thousand years, and I am fatigued. The instant this is over, I will return to the existence I am comfortable with. Alone. Untraceable. Happy. I do not know Aether, so I am not obligated to get involved.”
“But the three of us, that’s ridiculous.”
I thought about it, and it was brilliant. “Is it?” I asked.
“Yes, it is,” Gavin said.
“So, you’d have me pick an elder? Which? Name one of them I can trust?” I demanded.
Billy shook his head.
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