by Jamie Lewis
Hand placement. This will be a combination of what your shoulder flexibility allows and what's comfortable. Conventional wisdom dictates that your hands should be as close to your shoulders as is comfortable, but I cannot find any reasoning for why this is the case.
Squatting Like A Pro
For any of you who have ever run a Google search for information about squatting, you know that there are at least as many shiftless hobo squatters as there are people who go into the gym, put weight on their backs, and squat to parallel. Interestingly, there’s a correlation to be drawn between the two groups of squatters. Living in an abandoned building has its drawbacks, certainly, but it also affords one a great deal of freedom. Without rent, utilities, or insurance to pay, one enjoys massive financial freedom, though they have a far greater responsibility in terms of general upkeep of the structure in which they live— though you might be able to live there without paying, you live with the stress of operating without a safety net, and with the knowledge that the slightest slip in concentration insofar as your abode goes and you're fucked, pretty much without recourse or salvation. They can, however, move into another shithole if the building collapses around their ears.
An elite squatter is not unlike the misanthropic, squatting brawlers in Fight Club, except for the fact that if the structure in which they’re living collapses, they're wholly and irreparably fucked. If the shithole in which squatters lives caves in around their ears, all they have to do is grab their little hobo knapsack and their heroin and move to another rat-infested hellhole. Raw squatters don’t have that luxury- they can’t move out of their body if it collapses. Raw squatting is like walking a tightrope without a safety net— there is nothing to save you if in the event your body betrays you. Raw squatting is thus fairly terrifying, if you’re using the right amount of weight. Without briefs, a suit, or any of the other wacky accouterments of geared squatting (I've even seen people squat wearing bench shirts), it’s scary enough, and it gets even scarier when you have to walk your happy ass out of the rack as well. If you squat without knee wraps, you don’t even have the sense of safety that comes from knowing your knee wraps will catch you in the hole- either you’re moving the weight through force of will or it will drive you bodily into the ground and leave you broken and bleeding. As a result, raw squatters, especially good raw squatters, have to be like a combination of two epic Batman villains— the Scarecrow and Bane. They have to be expert managers of fear, and they have to be willing and able to destroy every motherfucking thing in their paths to achieve their goals.
"I wanted to breathe smoke. I wanted to burn the Louvre. I'd do the Elgin Marbles with a sledgehammer and wipe my ass with the Mona Lisa. This is my world, now. This is my world, my world, and those ancient people are dead."- Tyler Durden
Interestingly, you'd think that the best squatters would, like the best deadlifters and benchers, have somewhat similar structures to their workouts. They, however, do not— the programs of squatting's elite absolutely run the gamut from completely insane volume to minimalism so basic and scanty it'd make Frank Stella's simplest artwork seem hideously complex. Thus, the typical admonition to avoid rote adherence to a given program is magnified when devising a squatting routine— experimentation is even more critical, as there is really no "right" way to pursue a world record... just a hell of a lot of wrong ones and some that will work for you once you determine your ideal workload. Thus, without further adieu, I give you the greatest squatters in history, but you can rest assured it won’t be pretty.
The Squat Programs of the Greats
Idalberto Aranda
If any of you are aware of this guy's existence, I'd be seriously stunned. He's not a powerlifter, and never held a world record in the squat. That, however, makes him no less our physical superior or us his bitches on that exercise. Aranda is a little guy— 5'3", 170 lbs, and an Olympic weightlifter for the tiny, poverty-stricken island nation that has given the world nothing but lung cancer and stupid ball caps for hipsters— Cuba. In spite of the fact that he grew up in a nation-wide ghetto off the coast of Florida, Aranda racked up some impressive finishes in world competition, and set a middleweight record in the clean and jerk in 1999 (SR). What's truly impressive, however, is the fact that Aranda could double 638, beltless and wrapless, with dive-bombed Olympic high bar squats.
Feel unmanned? I certainly do. The secret behind this guy’s squatting success is the Soviet Olympic weightlifting system, which has fallen out of favor in recent years in spite of the fact that it served as the basis for basically every successful Oly program since the 1950s. In the Soviet system, youth lifters start with a three day a week program and then work their way up to six days a week of training (Performance One). According to a Cuban coach who studied weightlifting in Russia, "the Russians and Bulgarians were relatively equal in terms of training volume, but that the Bulgarians had more lifts in the 95-100 percent zones, while the Russians would have more lifts in the 75-80 percent intensity zone" (Poliquin).
The Soviets divided their movements into four groups, and then divided the days amongst them, mixing the first four groups, which were lower body dominant, with the last group, which is upper body dominant. These five groups were Snatches, Cleans, Snatch Pulls, Squats, and Jerks and Presses. Utilizing the Soviet method, Arranda squatted roughly 3 days a week, might have done so up to three times a day depending on the section of the periodization scheme he was in, and never did more than 6 reps (Poltaev). Thus, Arranda’s insane squat came from extremely frequent squatting with moderate poundages.
His scheme would have looked like this:
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Snatches
X
X
Cleans
X
X
Snatch Pulls
X
Squats
X
X
X
Jerks and Presses
X
X
X
(Source: Poltaev)
“Mad” Mike Kuhns
One thing I discovered while researching this post was that not one, but two midgets hold world records in the squat— Andrzej Stanaszek and Mike Kuhns. Frankly, I think that's pretty fucking impressive, given the fact that they both appear to have achondroplasia, which I would guess would make it insanely hard to handle big weights since their cartilage is abnormally formed. Additionally, people with dwarfism are typically bow-legged, which would make me thing they're generally structurally unsound for heavy squatting. I'm not, however, an orthopedist, so I could be entirely wrong. In any event, one of these bad little motherfuckers, Mike Kuhns, is a world record holder at 148 with a 556 lb wrapless squat. Thus, those amongst you without dwarfism might want to consider a different weight class if you want to smash a world record, since I'd venture to guess you'll have a hard time matching Kuhns. Additionally, I'd bet Kuhns gets more ass than any of us, since he's rocking a surfer look and is strong as shit.
In any event, “Mad” Mike has a unique take on squat training, which I'd assume has to do with his dwarfism, but might suit those of you with back issues in particular— he uses belt squats to supplement his back squats. He trains six days a week, using Saturday and Monday as his squat days, split in the middle by a deadlift day on Wednesday (Stewart):
Monday
Belt Squats- work up to 2 x 30; 1 x 10 paused reps in the hole (similar to a standing leg press from IronMind)
Pullovers- 1 x 20
One-Legged Curls- 3x20
Wednesday
Deadlift- work up to 1 x 5 with 5RM; 1 x 3 with 3RM; 1 x 2 with 2RM
Saturday
Squats- work up to 2 top sets, never completing more than 4 reps per set
Thus, if you've got a medical issue that "prevents" you from squatting that isn't parapalegia, suck it the fuck up. You might think that Kuhns can hit huge
weights because he doesn't have far to move them, but you're failing to take into account that even if he's got proportionate dwarfism, he's still all fucked up. "With proportionate dwarfism, problems in growth and development often result in complications with poorly developed organs. For example, heart problems often present in Turner syndrome can have a significant effect on a child's general health. An absence of sexual maturation associated with growth hormone deficiency or Turner syndrome affects not only physical development but also social functioning" (CNN). Thus, you've got no fucking excuse other than the fact that your mom is more of a man than you are if you're not crushing shit on the squat.
Andrey Belyaev
Andrey Belyaev, “lunatic Belorussian squatting death machine”, as I like to call him made huge waves a couple of years ago and then dropped directly off the fucking map in raw squatting, preferring to save his efforts for single-ply cash meets. Prior to his abandonment of our collective cause, however, Belyaev busted a 704 raw squat at 220. While that’s not currently near the Byrd’s 782 lb. record, it was a top squat when he did it in 2007, and would still put him in the upper echelon of raw squatters. Belyaev’s best lifts have been done in single ply, however, where he is always nearly a David to Andrey Melanchaev’s Goliath. The Russians, being the crazy Cossack motherfuckers they are, put on an open-weight single ply squat meet every year with a huge purse called the Super-Cup of Titans. In the last two years, Belyaev’s placed 3rd and 4th overall, field in spite of the fact that he was outweighed by about 100 pounds by all of the competitors, giving him 2nd and 1st by Wilks, he goliaths won and the other took second, but Belyaev beat out the rest of the. In case you’re curious, here’s how he stacked up against the competition in 2011:
That 935 single-ply squat puts him 100 lbs ahead of the all time (since PLWatch started keeping records in 2007) American best, which is beyond phenomenal, and holds the raw record in the total with a ridiculous 2,028. This is unsurprising, however, since Belyaev trains about 100 times harder than anyone else on Earth, utilizing a program that was allegedly written by Boris Shieko himself. Those of you with weak stomachs or a profound fear of overtraining might want to take some anti-anxiety meds and skip this section, because shit is officially about to get crazy. Given that Belaev’s training is incredibly volume intensive and even a week of his program is longer than John Holmes’ cock, I’m only including his lower body work. A translated copy of the last 4 week cycle of his program is in the appendix, along with his untranslated (and unformatted) workout documents. The workout in total is fantastically long and detailed, and about as Russian a program as you’re likely to see— extremely frequent and long workouts with moderate intensity.
Day 1 Morning
Squats- 3 x 1 with 60%1RM; 3 x 1 with 70%1RM; 2 x 4 with 75%1RM
Day 1 Evening
Squats- 5 x 1 with 50%; 5 x 1 with 60%; 4 x 1 with 70%; 3 x 2 with 80%; 2 x 4 with 85%
Day 2
Deficit Deadlifts- 3 x 1 with 50%1RM; 3 x 1 with 60%1RM; 2 x 4 with 70%1RM
Day 3 Morning
Deadlift (between 2 stops – just below the knee to just above the knee)- 3 x 1 with 50%1RM; 3 x 1 with 60%1RM; 3 x 1 with 70%1RM; 2 x 4 with 75%1RM
Day 3 Evening
Deadlift (with chains)- 3 x 1 with 50%1RM; 3 x 1 with 60%1RM; 3 x 1 with 70%1RM; 3 x 4 with 75%1RM
Day 5 Morning
Squats- 5 x 1 with 50%1RM; 5 x 1 with 60%1RM; 3 x 1 with 70%1RM; 2 x 5 with 75%1RM
Day 5 Evening
Squats- 5 x 1 with 50%1RM; 5 x 1 with 60%1RM; 1 x 4, 6, 8, 7, 5 with 70%1RM
Day 6 Evening
1.Deadlift (from the just below knee)- 3 x 1 with 60%; 3 x 1 with 70%; 3 x 3 with 80%; 3 x 2 with 90%
Sam Byrd
If you didn't already want to throw yourself down a well for not wrecking shop at squatting, let me give you one more reason— Sam Byrd's existence. For those of you who've just opened your eyes for the first time and are reading this while suckling on a teat, allow me to fill you in on Byrd— he's a national-level bodybuilding competitor who happens to be the world record holder in the squat with a 782 lb wrapless 2nd attempt. In that meet, he actually broke the world record with his opener, which has to be a first.
Byrd built his beastly squat with twice a week squat training which is paired with the deadlift in both workouts. Byrd cycles his training in microcycles, during which time he rotates upward from 60% of a 1RM he can hit "any day of the week regardless of how long [he's] been without training," to a point where he can hit 5 sets of 5 with 70% or 5x 3 with 80% of his previous 1RM in 15 minutes (Byrd). That's right— Byrd uses a Frankenstein's monster version of 5 x 5 combined with Staley's Escalating Density training. He also mixes in bands and chains to add resistance at the bottom of his lift, which he thinks is critical for raw lifters.
Interestingly, Byrd prefers to use "rep maxes rather than heavy singles because it’s less taxing" and "less intimidating. Confidence is key in this sport, as with pretty much anything else in life." He's a great deal more confident with a "5 rep max for a new PR than a 1 rep for a new PR" and finds that rep max calculators are spot on for him, so he uses http://www.joeskopec.com/repmax.html to calculate his rep maxes. Thus, he uses his 3 or 5 rep max to determine his 1RM and then resets to 60% based on the new max. At that point, he does the following:
"If I start a new wave, which I am likely to do because, as I said, I avoid they heavy stuff as long as possible, then I take the next 3 weeks and wave 60% for 5x5 the first week, 70% 3x5 (plus a set at 60%x5 on the way up) on the second week, and then 80% for 5x3reps (with 60% and 70% both done for 5 on the way up. Remember all these sets are done with CAT— 100% effort on every single rep- all should be fast and explosive, no grinders. If you are grinding at all or slowing down then you tried to progress too fast. I do add a belt for 80%, but nothing less than that.
The fourth week I’ll rest, then take then finally take the rep max or repeat one more time before the rep max. I prefer this way because I like to do my rep max with about 80% and I like to feel it on my back a time or two before I have to max out my reps with it. Again, it’s a confidence thing. After all those weeks crushing weights confidence is pretty high. I’ve performed hundreds of explosive powerful reps and not one single miss or grinder anywhere. By the time I get ready to max I'm ready to test the limits. Once I test, I reset my max and either begin again or change things up to add some variety- maybe a few weeks of chained singles the last 4 weeks before a meet" (Byrd).
Byrd's two squat days a week are:
Main Squat Day:
Squat- Sets of five according to the aforementioned progression
Deadlift (usually a stiff-legged deadlift or similar set/rep for speed pulls)- 3 x 10 or 6 x 5 for SLDLS or 6-8 x 3 with 60% 1RM on speed pulls with 1 minute rest between sets.
Glute-Ham Raise- 3-4 x 10-15
Abs
Upper Back
Front Squat and Rack Pull Day:
Front Squats- 3x5 with a weight on which he fails on his 15th rep. He goes to total failure on the last set, and increases the weight when he can get 8.
Rack pulls (just below the knee)- Sets of 5 until he can no longer get 5, then a heavy set of 3.
Paul Anderson
Paul Anderson should be a man who needs no introductions. He was a standout in powerlifting when the sport was still in its infancy, and was a mad scientist of training whose hideous but effective creations produced some unbelievable, Frankenstein’s monster-esque numbers. In addition to putting up some insane squat numbers (Anderson is reputed to have doubled 900 raw at a bodyweight of 330), Anderson was a standout Olympic weightlifter and held the record in the strict press for some time.
Like many of the other elite lifters I’ve outlined, Anderson trained a lot. He trained 6 days a week and was a big fan of day-long workouts, wherein he would rest up to 30 minutes in between sets. During his half hour breaks, Anderson would sit and bullshit with whomever was around while drinking milk, of which he’d generall
y consume a gallon in the course of a workout. Though he enjoyed the daylong lifting extravaganzas, Anderson’s typical workouts clocked in at a completely reasonable three to four hours. Frankly, I’m not sure if his style was prescient of the Bulgarians’ modern lifting protocol, or if great minds happen to arrive at the same Lewis Carroll-esque destinations, but either way they seem to have come to the same conclusion- great strength comes from a ton of time expended under the weights.
Perhaps with that in mind, Anderson developed a training protocol so unique it makes echidnas and duck-billed platypuses seem positively pedestrian in comparison— the golf workout. To facilitate day-long training, Anderson set up two golf holes on his farm about 300 yards apart with a weight rack at either end. He'd whack the ball down to the one hole, which was next to an outdoor rack with a bar loaded to 400 lbs. He'd do 3-5 reps in the overhead press with it, then whack the ball back to the other hole, where he'd set up a squat rack loaded to 800. He'd bang out 3-5 reps on the squat with that weight, then repeat, all afternoon. The total volume he must have lifted had to have been astonishing, and was likely a pretty decent way to spend an afternoon.