Neither could she. Truthfully, she was torn over going home. With Reyes camped out behind a brick wall as formidable as the mountains, it annoyed the hell out of her he wouldn’t even try to be friends. She was sad the month was almost over, and yet she couldn’t wait until she didn’t have to see him every single day while her heart longed for so much more.
Saying it over and over doesn’t make it true.
Still, she needed to keep repeating it, in hopes it would help her to stop wishing for what she clearly couldn’t have.
“How’s everything going with Reyes?” Roxanna asked.
Raine’s stomach flipped, the psychic brunette’s question too close to reading her mind. To admit things were strained would be an understatement, and invite questions she didn’t want to answer. It would also invite confessions she was doing her best to avoid.
“It’s fine. I’m sure he’ll be glad to get back to his regular schedule.”
Shelby leaned back in her chair and propped her feet on the brick edging along the fire pit. “Are you still helping him with the new thoroughbreds? What were their names again?”
“Saving Grace and Willow Moonlight. And yeah, that’s been great.”
Other than time with family, that had been the one bright spot over the past couple of weeks. Reyes may have been one hundred percent business-like in the process, but he’d gone over everything with her step by step, from picking the horses, assessing how to retrain them, the paperwork involved, and anything else she needed to know to get started.
Unfortunately, his knowledge and devotion had impressed her on a whole other level, making the distance he was forcing between them hurt even more.
“I love the names they come up with for those horses,” Mae said.
“Me, too,” Raine agreed. “In fact, I talked to Loyal earlier about helping me set up a business plan to start my own rescue when I get home.”
“Seriously?” Shelby grinned when Raine nodded. “Wow—that’s great.”
They peppered her with questions until a side tangent changed the conversation, leaving Raine thinking about how she’d have to call Jessica at Retired Racers to see if she had any contacts in Texas, and if not, hopefully she could get a couple of horses from her. Or the trainer in California Reyes had mentioned earlier. Or, she could do what Reyes had done and take the time to visit some racetracks to make her own contacts. Horse people loved talking about horses.
It wasn’t much longer before the approaching storm had her and Celia saying goodbye and heading home. A few minutes after she dropped Celia off at her house, Raine’s phone sounded a severe weather alert for a tornado watch for the Greater Denver Metro area and surrounding suburbs until midnight.
By the time she turned into her uncle’s winding driveway, the wind buffeting the car sent a small surge of apprehension along her spine. Things could get a little wild tonight.
She parked her aunt’s car in the guest house garage, then tossed the keys and her purse on the island counter before plugging her nearly-dead phone into the charger. Thunder rolled overhead as she went to stand by the window to look out at the stables.
At nearly ten-thirty at night, the building was dark save for the lights shining from the second floor windows. The same lights that were on every night in Reyes’ apartment. All night.
An ache throbbed in her chest, and she rubbed at the sensation. If he wasn’t so determined to keep her at a distance, maybe she could’ve helped him like he’d helped her.
Vivid flashes of lightning revealed the trees swaying in the wind and uneasiness had her heading back to her phone to check the local radar. The estate was right on the edge of a red cell, but any indication of possible tornados were north and east a good thirty miles. Still, future cast showed they weren’t out of the woods yet.
A deafening boom shook the house and ground beneath her feet—and everything went dark.
Raine jerked so hard she fumbled her phone, barely rescuing it before it crashed to the floor. Heart lodged in her throat, she spun to face the pitch-black living room with her phone clutched to her chest. That thunder had been so loud, she’d swear a bomb had gone off—
Bomb.
Reyes.
Her pulse revved like a freight train as she whirled to look out the window again. Reyes was over there in the dark.
Alone.
She yanked her phone from the charger and ran out the door and across the yard as the angry clouds overhead let loose with huge drops of cold rain. By the time she reached the stables, her hair and shirt were drenched, but she only cared about making sure he was okay.
Slamming the barn door shut against the wind, she leaned against it, chest heaving as she sucked air into her tight lungs. “Reyes?”
A second louder call over the thunder received no response as the lightning pierced the darkness through the windows with an eerie strobe effect. Using the flashlight on her phone, she hurried up the stairs to his apartment.
Though she gave a brisk knock, she didn’t wait for an answer before turning the handle. The door swung open easily. “Reyes? Are you up here?”
“Raine?” The relief in his voice was edged with panic.
“Yeah, it’s me.” She shut the door behind her as she shined her light across the room.
He pushed to his feet from where he’d been sitting with his back pressed against the kitchen cabinets. His chest was bare, and black sweat pants hung low on his hips. His hair was a rumpled mess, as if he’d been sleeping—or run his hands through it over and over.
Recognizing the hunted air about him, like the night in the pool, she guessed the second. Her heart thudded with sympathy when she saw him grip the counter with white knuckles.
Definitely the second.
“The storm knocked the power out,” she said, striving to keep her voice casual. “I wanted to check on the horses.”
His head snapped up. “Shit. Are they okay?”
“I came up here first.” When his gaze met hers, she offered a quick smile. “I was hoping you’d come with me. It’s a little creepy down there” —in the dark— “with the storm.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed hard, but he nodded. “Yeah.”
When his deep breath sounded choppy as all hell, she started across the room. “Do you have any regular flashlights, or a lantern or something? My phone battery is barely at three percent.”
He dropped his gaze to the countertop, his jaw clenched. He closed his eyes with a grimace, but then popped them open again as if he couldn’t bear the darkness.
Raine was at his side by then, and he flinched when she reached out to firmly grasp his forearm. His gaze rose to hers, and her heart jolted at the dark torment in his eyes.
“Everything’s fine,” she said softly, the reassuring words tumbling out as she gave a light squeeze of her fingers. “The power’s out, that’s it.”
His muscles flexed beneath her hand. “I panicked. I have a flashlight in the drawer next to the sink. And I have my phone…” He paused, a frown creasing his brow as he swept his gaze along the length of the island counter. “It’s still in the bedroom on the nightstand. I panicked.”
The second time he said those words there was a note of angry disgust in his voice.
“You’re not alone.”
“I should’ve been better prepared.”
She set her phone on the counter, deliberately facing the flashlight down. Then she reached her free hand up to his face to cup the side of his jaw in the dark, grounding him with her touch. “Maybe it’s time to face this, Reyes. When you have a friend to help you through it.”
His hand rose up to cover hers, pressing her palm to the rough stubble alongside his goatee. “We’re not friends,” he said gruffly. Achingly.
“Yes, we are. We have been since that night in the pool. Now, let’s get the flashlight out of the drawer and check the horses.”
When she lowered her hand from his face, he surprised her by keeping hold of it. He didn’t say a word as he threaded his fingers wi
th hers, just held on tight, and she did the same.
Lifting her phone with her free hand, she aimed the light toward the drawer next to the sink. She noticed her battery was down to two percent as they moved together to dig out the flashlight. Once he clicked on the light, the beam glowed strong for a moment, then dimmed to half its strength.
When it flickered and dimmed more, Reyes shook it, cursing under his breath.
“Are there more batteries?”
He rummaged in the drawer. “No.”
“Grab your phone, then. Mine’s going to die any—” As if on cue, the screen went black.
“Mine’s in the bedroom.” He closed the drawer and turned, and she had to fight from leaning into him when the warmth of his bare chest brushed against her chilled arm.
All of a sudden he turned the weak flashlight beam on her. “You’re all wet.”
His surprise sparked a smile. “I am. Because there’s rain to go with that thunder and lightning outside.” And now that her brain was focused on her wet clothes, the chill of them had her shoulders shaking with an involuntary shiver.
“You need a dry shirt.” He glanced down at his chest. “I should grab one, too.”
Don’t mind if you don’t.
She let her gaze trail down over his tight pectorals and the defined ridges of his abs with a faint trail of light brown hair that disappeared into the waistband of his sweats. He robbed her of the chance to truly admire when he pulled her with him toward the bedroom.
Their destination sped up her pulse, but he released her hand to retrieve his phone from the nightstand. Another curse grated past his lips. “Mine’s almost dead, too. I forgot to plug it into the charger before bed.”
“I’m sure the power will be back on soon.”
Even in the shadows from the dim flashlight, she could see his tight jaw as he swiped a white T-shirt from a bench at the foot of the bed, and then went to the closet to pull out a light gray button up shirt similar to the one she’d borrowed that day they’d taken a trail ride. The one she had forgotten to return at the end of the day, and then ‘accidentally’ forgotten each day since.
“This okay?” he asked.
“It’s fine.” She’d have to roll up the sleeves a half-dozen times, and it would reach halfway to her knees, but it was dry. “Thanks.”
She took the shirt and walked the few steps to his unmade bed to toss it on the edge before reaching for the hem of her wet top. As her fingers gripped the material, she thought of him behind her, and the bed in front of her, and the fact he’d been lying in those rumpled sheets not that long ago.
Her heart rate ticked along even faster.
The dim light from the flashlight suddenly went crazy, bobbing all around the room before leaving her in even deeper shadows. When she glanced over her shoulder, Reyes stood near the door, T-shirt on, his back to her, flashlight pointed at the ceiling.
Was it terrible that she was disappointed he wasn’t going to watch? And yet, her heart gave a hard thump of appreciation at his gentlemanly respect. Yet another little thing she loved about him.
Love.
Hmm. Don’t go there.
She quickly exchanged wet shirt for dry, and then buttoned all but the top two buttons and rolled up the sleeves. The hem reached to mid-thigh on her damp jeans. Her bra was also damp, but already she was warmer. While his back was turned, she lifted the collar for a discreet inhale of fresh linen fabric softener. His other shirt had had a faint underlying note of the same scent, and she bit back a soft sigh.
A loud overhead rumble reminded her of the real reason she was standing in his bedroom, wearing his shirt. She scooped up her wet top and headed toward him. “All set. Let’s go check the horses before the flashlight dies.”
The light swung toward her, and she was thankful he kept it pointed down to keep from blinding her. He stilled for a long moment as he swept his gaze from the top of her wet head to the now soggy white canvas tennis shoes she’d worn over to Honor’s.
He closed his eyes and tipped his head back, muttering as he turned to walk out of the bedroom.
Raine raised her eyebrows as she followed. She was pretty sure he’d said something about being “totally fucked,” though she wasn’t so sure she wanted to ask him to clarify.
He slipped on a pair of tennis shoes at the door, and they went down the stairs. A few of the horses were restless, but it didn’t appear that any were having major issues with anxiety from the storm. Raine slipped into her tack stall for a handful of treats before taking time to pet and murmur softly to each one that bothered to stick their head over the stall doors.
After giving Taz a treat, she waited inside Fire’s stall while Reyes checked the doors on both ends of the barn were secure against the wind. By now, the thunder had moved off into the distance, and the lightning flashes were only occasional even as rain still thrummed hard and steady on the roof.
Reyes’ curse from the far end of the barn drew her around, and she rose on her tiptoes to see over the stall wall. She noticed it was pitch black on his side of the barn at the same time he called out, “Flashlight’s dead. My phone’s dead, too.”
Hearing the strain in his voice again, she hurried out of the stall and down the aisle. A weak flash of lightning revealed his outline at the far door. When she reached him, he fumbled for her hand and squeezed tight. She moved closer, pulling her fingers free to slip her arms around his waist. His whole body was stiff as a board, muscles tight as if he was doing everything he could not to panic.
“I’m right here, Reyes. I’m not going anywhere.”
His arms closed tight around her as his chest heaved beneath her cheek. “I fucking hate this.”
“I know. Believe me, I know.”
“I know you do.” After a long moment, he murmured, “Thank you.”
His bent head put his gruff voice right next to her ear. She shivered as the husky sound set off flutters of awareness deep in her belly. A steadying breath only made it worse. The scent from his shirt was magnified times a hundred from the oh-so-warm flesh and blood man in her arms. Fresh linen combined with his musky scent was a dangerously tempting combination.
She nearly groaned in pent up frustration, then rolled her eyes in the darkness. Here he was dealing with his own PTSD, and she was getting all turned on by how damn good he smelled.
And felt.
Except some of the tension had left his body, and all of a sudden, she felt the warmth of his lips and breath on her neck. The past couple weeks of suppressed yearning flooded forward to intertwine with the more tender emotions for this wounded man taking over her heart.
She turned her head with a helpless murmur, seeking his mouth with hers.
18
Reyes pulled back at the exact second Raine’s lips met his. He almost gave in—God knew how badly he wanted to give in when he heard her second soft moan of protest—but it would be for all the wrong reasons. Or mostly the wrong reasons.
He didn’t want her pity. Nor did he want to use her to deal with his fear even though his body was already half-hard in total approval of that plan. He couldn’t let it matter that her voice and soft touch had a grounding effect that kept him from focusing on the dark. As long as she was with him, he could keep the panic at bay, and yet, he hated how weak that need made him feel. Even though she understood, he hated her seeing him shaking like a cowering dog.
He reluctantly felt for her hand, fitting her smaller palm against his. “Come on. I can take you back to the guest house.”
“In this rain? Not a chance.”
Her instant, firm refusal triggered a knee-weakening wave of relief.
“I’m waiting upstairs with you until the power comes back on,” she stated. “Or the rain quits.”
His chest tightened at the last bit she tacked on, and a knot formed in his stomach at the thought of her leaving before the power came back on. He didn’t argue any further as he felt along the stalls to the stairs, because selfishly, he’d ta
ke whatever he could get.
In the apartment, he closed the door behind her before pausing a moment to picture the layout in his head. Dark or not, he needed to get some space between them. “You can have the bed. I’ll take the couch.”
When he led her toward the bedroom, she resisted. “I thought we could talk.”
Talk. Dev had said he and Shelby did lots of talking. But that would only bring them closer.
Keeping Raine moving, he countered, “It’s late.”
“I’m not tired.”
Neither was he, but—
They’d reached the doorway, and he steered her into the room, but when he would’ve backed away, she grabbed both his hands and pulled him with her.
“Raine.”
“We can’t talk if you’re out on the couch and I’m in here.”
“Ever consider that’s the point?” It was a half-hearted protest at best.
“No.” She tugged him forward. “Come on, are you really going to leave me in here all alone?”
He should. He really, really should. Yet, his feet were still following her to the bed. “You don’t have to do this,” he said gruffly.
“Do what?”
“Babysit me. I can deal with this.”
“I’m sure you can. But why do it alone when you don’t have to?”
He shrugged, then remembered she couldn’t see him any more than he could see her. It was crazy how truly dark everything was. Forget the bedside lamp he usually left on twenty-four seven, with the power out and the storm blocking any moonlight, not even a ghost of a glimmer shone through the windows. No power indicator lights blinked from any appliances to soften the inky blackness.
And then he realized a second later, even crazier still was how his back and forth kinda bickering with Raine shifted the focus from the black hole of his fear—even when they were beating around the bush about that exact subject.
“I want to be here with you, Reyes. We don’t even have to—whoops—that’s the bed.” Her voice sounded a bit breathless. She pulled harder on his hands for a moment, and his body collided with hers. “We can just lay here if you don’t want to talk.”
Don't Dare a Diamond (Must Love Diamonds Book 5) Page 11