by Amity Cross
X nodded. “I see.”
There were only two women in that building last night, and I was one of them. They’d do a great deal more testing, but there wasn’t any doubt in my mind that it was Banshee and Moltke. She’d made the ultimate sacrifice in the face of rekindling her lost love. To choose the greater good over her heart had taken a great deal of balls.
“Mercy…” he began.
“Yeah?”
He frowned and lowered his gaze, and I wondered what was playing on his mind. “Are we good? You and I?”
Crossing the room with deliberate steps, I leaned over the edge of the bed and slid my fingers over the stubble that lined his jaw. “Of course, we are.”
“I know I fucked up…”
“X. Shut the fuck up.”
His lips thinned, but he abided by my wishes and remained silent.
“So when can you blow this popcorn stand?” I asked, threading my fingers through his.
X nodded at the door a second before it opened. “After this suit has his way with us, I presume.”
Glancing over my shoulder, I peered at the man who’d walked in unannounced. He was tall, broad-shouldered, and had a head of dark brown hair that had been cut into a severe short back and sides. He wore a slate gray suit, his shiny red tie loose around his collar. The guy looked like he’d had a busy day.
“Agent Blood, Agent Reid,” he said, nodding curtly. “I’m Agent Breckinridge, but everyone calls me Agent Breck. I was appointed head of Project Black Heart in Agent Folsom’s stead.” He lowered his chin slightly, and I didn’t have to ask to understand they had been good friends.
“How are you feeling?” he asked X.
“What can we do for you, Agent Breck?” he replied sharply, his fingers tightening around mine.
“It’s more about what you both can do for us.” His gaze flickered to mine. “There’ll be a debriefing and a round of questioning relating to the mission Agent Folsom gave you, but for now, I’d like to talk about your future at the Agency.”
I frowned and glanced at X. MI6 was rolling out the welcome wagon? We’d broken about a billion laws in our attempts to get Moltke brought to justice, so the notion was highly surprising. Besides, X and I hadn’t had a chance to talk about what we wanted to do now that we were free from Section Seven. Things hadn’t really worked out for us there when things were normal, so going one hundred percent legit at MI6 wasn’t really tickling my fancy.
“What kind of future?” I asked.
“I’ll get straight to the point,” Breck said. “You both look like you’d appreciate the notion. We want you to come work for MI6 as field agents. There’s no doubt you’re both highly skilled and qualified for the job.”
I glanced at X. “MI6? Section Seven was already a stretch…”
“This isn’t black ops,” Breck went on. “It’s legitimate work protecting British interests on an international stage. With the rise of modern terrorism, there are more threats than ever. I’d hate to play the world peace card, but that’s what it’s about these days.”
X shook his head. “I understand, but we’ve been through a great deal to get here, Agent Breck…”
“I get it, I do, but think about it,” he said, holding out his hand. “That’s all I’m asking of you for right now. If you want to talk more, you know where to find me.”
X’s poker face didn’t slip once as he shook Breck’s hand. “We’ll be sure to think a great deal about it.”
When Breck turned to me, I took his hand and shook it, never once letting go of X’s. “Thank you for coming to see us,” I said, holding him in place for a moment longer than normal. “I appreciate your directness.”
“Likewise.” He smiled, and I let him go. “Take care.”
Once he was gone, I turned my attention back to X.
“What are you thinking?” I asked, watching as his expression slipped. I loved that he let down his guard with me. In the days following his defection from Royal Blood, witnessing his emerging emotions was like a world of black and white exploding into color. Right now, he was very colorful.
“I’m thinking…” he began and tugged me closer. “All I want to do right now is take you home to the cottage and fuck you blind.”
I shivered, my juices starting to flow at the thought of nothing but me, a naked X, and nature to keep us happy.
“Blind?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. “I’d really like to see what I’m doing, you know.”
“It’s a turn of phrase, Mercy.”
“Duh.”
“I’d also love to see that smart mouth of yours wrapped around my cock.”
“You’re such a dominant asshole.” I laughed, and if I didn’t love him, I probably would have ripped his favorite appendage off and choked him with it.
He smiled, but it quickly faded. “We’re free, Mercy. We can go anywhere we want.”
The realization hit me square in the chest, and my body began to zing with the possibilities that now lay before us. We had no one to answer to but ourselves. The bad guys were gone, our friends were safe, and all we had to worry about in the short-term was X’s shoulder healing. It was an amazing feeling.
“Yeah,” I said, leaning toward him. “We’re fee…”
Pressing my lips against his, I kissed X with everything I had.
We were finally free.
About six weeks had passed since the night Banshee and Moltke perished in that facility.
The same amount of time, give or take a couple of days, since X and I were offered jobs at MI6.
X still hadn’t made up his mind, and neither had I. We’d spent the time we were meant to be deliberating just being together. A few weeks at the cottage, the summer sky lighting up with the stars X loved so much, sex out among nature, in the shower, on the couch, in bed… If there was a surface, we fucked on it. Seriously, I wouldn’t expect anything less from Xavier Blood.
Eventually, we had to return to the real world, so as X deliberated on our future, I decided to go pay a visit to Amanda Jackson. We’d had one hell of a first meeting, and despite the circumstance, she was the most normal person I knew…or was about to know since I hadn’t spent any significant amount of time with the woman. I figured if someone like Marcus Jackson loved her, then she was someone worth my time.
The little cottage on the outskirts of London was a sight different from the little row house in Haringey. The garden was in full bloom, flowers bursting with color all over the place, and the green lawn was littered with assorted balls and tricycles. Smiling, I stood before the front door and decided I liked the change of pace. I bet Jackson’s boys loved the space to run around in.
Knocking on the door, I waited as footsteps echoed from inside. When it opened, Amanda Jackson stood on the other side, looking a great deal happier than the last time I saw her at the safe house.
“Agent Reid?” she asked, looking surprised to see me.
“I hope you don’t mind,” I said. “Jackson gave me the address.”
“No, not at all. It’s good to see you. Come in. Come in.” She stepped aside and gestured for me to move inside the house.
Stepping into the little cottage the Jackson’s now called home, I glanced at the photographs on the wall and took in all the pictures of their family. Baby photos, wedding pictures, school portraits, and all kinds of happy snaps were plastered up and down the hall.
“I’ve got a thing for photos,” Amanda said with a shrug. “Can I get you some tea?”
“No, no, thank you.” I’d been feeling a little queasy for a week or so now, and the thought of milk and tea sloshing around in my gut had it gurgling in protest.
As she led me into the lounge room, I shoved away the little pang of jealousy at the family Jackson had around him. My parents and brother were dead, X’s family was gone, and we would both be alone in the world if it weren’t for each other. We’d lost so much in horrific circumstances it was easy to let the green-eyed monster out of its cage.
&nbs
p; “How’s Jackson?” I asked, sitting on the couch.
“He’s great,” Amanda replied, sitting beside me. “He’s much happier now that he’s back behind a desk.”
“It wasn’t exactly the way I would have liked things to go…out there,” I began.
“I know, but it is what it is. He told me about all of it.” She widened her eyes and gestured up and down.
“What part?” I asked with a laugh. “The bit where he saw me naked?”
“He was mortified, just so you know.”
She laughed along with me, and it was nice to have a female friend who was wise in the way of relationships. I’d never really had a friend like her before.
“He was brilliant,” I went on. “He saved my life twice over.”
“It was hard,” she said. “Finding out about his job the way I did, but what was I supposed to do? I’ve learned a lot about love in the last few months. True love trumps everything in the end.”
“And that’s what you have with Jackson?”
She sighed, a lovesick expression on her face. “Since the day I first met him.”
Good. I was glad all was well in the Jackson household.
“What about you and Xavier?” she asked. “What will you two do now?”
“I’m not sure yet,” I replied truthfully. “They offered us jobs, and it’s tempting, but I want to make sure we’re making the right decision this time around. X is all the family I’ve got left.”
Amanda nodded, her brown curls bobbing up and down. “You want to make him happy.”
“Of course.”
“You’re both welcome here, just so you know. Anytime.”
My throat began to thicken as an image of my mother came to mind. For all her faults—most of them to do with being too posh and up her own ass for her own good—she was still my mother, and I loved her regardless.
“I never really got the opportunity to thank you and Xavier,” Amanda said. “What you did for me and for the boys…”
“It’s fine,” I replied. “We do what we have to do to protect those who need it. There’s no need to thank us.”
“They think you’re superheroes,” she added. “For real.”
I shook my head at the notion. It was so farfetched but also kind of cute. My stomach rolled, and I held a hand over my abdomen.
“Are you okay?” Amanda asked. “You’re looking a little pale.”
I waved my hand. “I’ve been feeling a little queasy lately. It’s nothing.”
“Can I get you some water?”
“No, I’ve got a Mars bar in my bag…” I fished around in the little rectangle of leather that held my wallet and keys and pulled out the chocolate I’d stashed in there that morning. “Ironically, they seem to help.”
Amanda looked me up and down, a knowing smile on her face. “Mars bars you say?”
I shrugged as I unwrapped the end. “Not that I’m complaining.”
She smiled and took my hand. “Mercy… Are you…”
“Am I what?” I asked, tilting my head to the side. I had absolutely no idea what she was getting at.
“Are you pregnant?”
I felt the blood drain from my face, and my stomach began to gurgle again. No… I couldn’t be… Could I?
“It was the same with me,” Amanda said. “Stupid cravings, rolling stomach, that glow in my cheeks… Were you trying?”
I shook my head slowly, her words hardly registering. Me? Pregnant with X’s baby?
I pulled my hand from Amanda’s and rose to my feet, the chocolate forgotten. “I’ve got to go… I’ve got… I’ve got to go pee on a stick apparently…”
“Are you okay?” she asked. “Would you like me to come with you?”
I shook my head and turned on my heel, practically fleeing from the room. A baby? Did I even want to push a human being out of my vagina? Fuck, that sounded painful. It was always painful on the TV. I didn’t know anyone who’d had a baby. Could I have a baby?
Realizing I was standing out on the street hyperventilating like a crazy person, I took a deep breath and strode off down the footpath, jamming the end of the Mars bar into my mouth. I needed to find one of those things to pee on. Yeah, that sounded like a plan.
Finding a tiny Boots pharmacy a block over from Jackson’s near the train station, I bought the first pregnancy test I could put my hands on and hightailed it home. X wouldn’t be back until tonight, so I had time to hide the evidence. I could put this stupid notion to rest, and that would be the end of it.
Locking myself in our tiny bathroom, I pulled out the contents of the box and peed all over the plastic stick. Putting down the lid on the toilet, I sat and waited. Or I should say, I sat and percolated in the juices of my rising anxiety.
A job at MI6 or a lifetime of flying under the radar taking mercenary jobs. Neither was ideal for a baby. Shit, I didn’t even know if I was cooking a bun in my oven yet.
Looking at the timer on my phone, I threw it back down when it still had a full minute to go. Why the fuck was this stupid thing taking so long?
If I was… If I was… What would X say? Would he want this?
The buzzer went off on my phone, and I jammed my thumb against the screen to turn it off. Staring at the stick, I willed myself to pick it up and look. What if that line was there? The positive line?
Fuck, I could face-off against bad guys, but I couldn’t handle the thought of a spew and shit machine popping out of my vagina in nine months time? Fuck me!
Snatching up the stupid plastic stick, I peered at the result.
Oh. Oh…
Chapter 30
X
It took me six weeks to go visit Mei’s grave.
It was empty, but it was a place for her family to come and grieve. A memorial.
I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to feel, standing there in the middle of the cemetery staring at a headstone. The sun shone on my shoulders, birds sung in the trees, and the sound of traffic from the motorway across the rise filtered through the air. Just another day in paradise.
Mei was gone, and she wasn’t coming back. I had to believe she died trying to stop Moltke because otherwise, her death would have been pointless. Mei never took shit lying down.
Remembering the brief conversation we’d had the day before the explosion, I tried to smile, but it just didn’t happen. She’d been happy. She’d been seeing someone new—that someone I believed was Agent Folsom—and had finally begun moving on from the ghost that was Oliver Cassel. She was meant to be here. She was meant to be happy.
I supposed in a way she was.
Sensing movement beside me, I glanced up to find Mercy had arrived. She’d let me go ahead so I could have some time to myself, but I was glad she was here. She was all I had left in this world and was more precious to me than anything.
Mercy Reid was my lifeblood.
“Hey,” she murmured.
I grunted and glanced back down at Mei’s headstone.
“What do we do now?” I asked. “What does our future look like because I can’t see anything.”
“I can see it pretty clearly if you ask me,” she replied.
“You can? Then I think you should tell me which way to go.”
Her palms came to rest on her stomach, and she smiled. “I’m pregnant,” she said, her words taking the wind out of my lungs.
My knees buckled, and I fell in front of her, my hands on her stomach trying to imagine the life within her. A child? I’d never thought…
“When?” I asked as her fingers threaded through my hair.
“I have no idea, but I’m assuming it was the night you left me tied to that bed and got yourself shot…”
Resting my forehead against her stomach, I squeezed my eyes shut. How could I be a father when I was prepared to hurt the woman I loved like that? What would this child become? It was half monster, half… Half Mercy Reid. That had to count for something. It had to.
“You can do it, X,” Mercy said above me, se
nsing my hesitation. “You and I—together.”
I didn’t know what to say…
“That’s why we’re staying on at MI6,” she continued. “To make a better world for him or her.”
“Wouldn’t it be better to disappear?” I asked, clutching the hem of her dress. “There’s so much darkness out there… Too much… Too little hope. To bring a child up in that…”
I glanced at Mei’s final resting place and thought about the body count we’d left in our wake. All the souls I’d taken under orders from Greggor and Weiss. All the souls I’d taken in revenge. All the souls Moltke had destroyed in his blind obsession to avenge the murder of his wife, Vesper.
“There’s always hope, X,” Mercy murmured, kneeling on the grass with me.
“MI6…” I began, letting the notion settle into my mind. A baby in a world like ours needed protecting, and we could do that. She was right. Mercy was always right.
“You wanted to know what our future looked like,” she said. “This is what it looks like. You, me, MI6, and a family. We have Jackson and Amanda. They’ll help us with all the annoying baby questions, and we’ll have a purpose.”
“I…” I didn’t know what to say. All the words had dried up inside of me, and I felt my throat thicken with emotion. I was going to be a father…
“I was thinking,” she said, her palms caressing my thighs. “If it’s a boy, we should name him Phillip after your brother.”
I hardly remembered him due to The Watchman’s conditioning, but the notion seemed fitting. Mei had told me Phillip looked up to me like the sun shone out of my ass. It was easy to dwell on the tragedy of his death, but there was one sliver of goodness I still had left of him. The memory Mei had given me was the piece that I would hold onto.
I nodded. It seemed fitting. “And if it’s a girl, perhaps she should be Mei.”
“You know,” Mercy declared. “Any normal woman would be pissed that her man suggested they name their child after his ex-girlfriend.”
“We’re not normal.”