by Jack Harbon
“No, this is you not getting your ass beat because I have to explain what you meant when you said that my bussy pops.”
Chad’s offended facial expression cracked and he grinned wide. “I would make that kind of joke.”
“I know you would,” Kit laughed. “Especially since you don’t have Michelle keeping you in check or anything. How is she doing by the way?” Kit looked at himself in the mirror, running his fingers through his hair. Given the length of it, it only took minimal effort to get the style he wanted to achieve.
“She’s doing a little bit better,” Chad said. “She said the doctor is letting her leave tomorrow, but he wanted her to stay there overnight. Food poisoning is a bitch, man. I told you, never eat street meat… unless you know his name.”
“Get it out of your system now,” Kit warned him.
“I am, I am. I’m gonna go raid your fridge. You finish getting ready.” Chad rounded the corner and left Kit to handle his business.
This musical tonight was important for two very different reasons. The first one was that this was Trish’s first time selling out all the tickets to her show. The performances she’d directed before this had all been relatively successful, but given the attention this musical had garnered in the past few weeks, the opening night was going to be packed.
The second reason Kit needed to nail this was because it was his first real date with Roman. There was no work involved. Roman didn’t have to excuse himself to go mingle with potential clients, nor did he have to worry about saying too much to nosey reporters. He wanted this date to be a success, romantic in a way that meshed well with Roman’s typical level of PDA.
Without stalling any longer, Kit quickly showered and got himself all prettied up for the night. He threw on a tooth whitening strip, and while he waited for that to be over with, he hopped into his clothes. Given the situation, Kit figured it was more appropriate to dress down. He pulled on his favorite pair of chino joggers, his black high tops, and a baby blue fitted button-up. He rolled the sleeves up for maximum Chill Factor.
Once he was fully dressed, he checked his phone. Roman had sent him a text telling him he was twenty minutes away. He checked the time and saw that he’d received this fifteen minutes ago.
“You all ready, Chad?” he asked, running into the living room. He nearly tripped over the basket of items Chad had left at his apartment. He’d been completely accurate in his assumption that his friends would start leaving more things over at his place once they got comfortable. In just under a week, Chad had a small basket to himself, and Michelle had a corner where she kept her makeup bag and a spare phone charger.
“I’m ready, Freddy. Let’s bounce.”
Kit didn’t even have time to roll his eyes at the terrible sayings Chad used. He grabbed his coat, his keys, and his phone, and headed downstairs with Chad. Just as they made it to the curb, Roman’s car pulled around the corner.
“Best behavior, Chad,” he said under his breath, smiling when Roman stepped out and rounded the car to open both doors for them.
“Wow, he’s a gentleman,” Chad said, looking between Roman and Kit.
“I try to be,” Roman replied. Once they were all in the car, he pulled his seatbelt on and plugged in the address to the theater. “You look nice tonight,” he said.
“Thanks,” Chad piped up.
Kit glared at him through the rear-view mirror before he said, “You do too.” The t-shirt Roman had picked for the night fit him like a glove, emphasizing the dips and curves of his arms and the broadness of his chest.
Despite all odds, on the way to the theater, Chad managed to keep the conversation PG with only a few near-slipups. Kit was almost impressed with how calm the two of them were behaving. It was as if Roman had let loose, and Chad had gotten a little more proper. Chad even managed to keep from mentioning the last time they’d met—that night at the club. Kit didn’t need anybody relieving the spilled cosmopolitan incident.
Once they parked, Roman and Kit walked side-by-side up to the front of the building. Just as Kit opened his mouth to say something, a sports car decked out in holographic paint came shooting across the street, narrowly missing them.
“Jesus Christ,” Kit yelled, his heart skipping a beat. Chad flipped the driver off and cursed until the car disappeared.
“Are you okay?” Roman asked, his lowering his arm from in front of Kit’s chest.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I hate this fucking city though,” he said, catching his breath.
“Anyone who drives a car that tacky needs to get right with God,” Chad mumbled.
“Amen,” Roman agreed.
Once Kit’s heart rate returned to normal, the three of them headed inside the theater. Bria stood outside in the lobby waiting for them. When she recognized them, she came running over, throwing her arms around Kit.
“You made it!” she exclaimed.
“Of course we did!”
Bria looked up at Roman. “Hi, I’m Bria. You’re Roman, right?” She stuck her hand out for a shake. Roman returned the gesture.
“I am, yes. It’s good to meet you.”
“Likewise,” Bria said, airiness in her voice. Kit recognized that lightness. Whenever she talked about how beautiful Trish looked, that voice came out. Swoony Bria always made Kit laugh. “Well, we’d better get inside and take our seats before the show starts.”
Bria led them into the theater, stepping around people as she guided them to their seats. She sat on the far left, Chad sat beside her, then Kit, and finally Roman. Kit was grateful that Chad had picked this seat out of all of them. The last thing he wanted was his sister on one side of him and his boyfriend on the other, especially since she was unaware they were together.
All of the chatter in the room ended when the musical began. As Danny and Sandy came out onto the stage, it suddenly made sense why Trish had looked so hard to find the perfect Danny Zuko. The actress she’d gone with was amazing, and it was only the first scene of the musical. By the time they performed “Summer Nights,” Kit considered leaving Roman and hitting up Danny after the show.
Soon, “Hopelessly Devoted to You,” began, and Kit felt inclined to act. He inched his hand closer to Roman’s until his fingers were wrapped around the others. The moment after that was silent, and Roman sat unfazed. Kit’s heart stopped. He’d made a mistake. This was too public. This wasn’t what Roman wanted from him.
But then Roman took his hand back, giving him a tiny squeeze, and Kit could breathe again. He bit back a smile and turned to look at him. Roman stared back at him, that normal hardness now much softer. It was a simple look and an even simpler gesture, but Kit felt like he was in a musical himself. He wanted to stand on his seat and sing about all of the feelings he experienced any time he was around Roman.
“Okay, tell me I might have a shot at getting Rizzo’s number,” Chad said during Intermission. He flushed the urinal and headed to the sink to wash his hands.
“You might have to fight some of the other audience members,” Roman said. “I saw at least two other guys drooling over her, and plenty of women as well.”
“It’s Gucci, I lift regularly.”
Roman stared at him blankly.
“Translation: ‘That’s not a problem at all, I work out, and because of this, I will be able to fight off as many men and/or women I need to in order to secure a date with Rizzo,’” Kit explained.
“Ah, well, if you do, make sure record it. You might go viral on that one site… WorldStar?”
Kit and Chad laughed at the same time. “I don’t even want to know how you know about WorldStar,” Chad said, shaking his head. “I’m gonna go get some snacks, I’ll leave you two with some privacy.”
Kit watched him go before he turned back to Roman. He slowly approached him. When he was close, he walked his fingers up the man’s chest and sang, “You better shape up, ‘cause I need a man, and my heart is set on you.”
“I better shape up?”
He nodded, “Yo
u better understand. To my heart I must be true.”
Roman took him by the waist and pulled him close, kissing him on the nose at first, then lowering his lips to meet Kit’s. Sure, it might not have been the most romantic of places, but it felt perfect. He could have been kissing Roman as the Cloverfield monster spiked The Statue of Liberty’s head at them and it still would have been perfect. With Roman, it didn’t matter where they were. All that mattered was that the man he’d called a rude dickhead—among other things—had a soft side that he got to see regularly.
Before things could get too far, Kit broke the kiss and pressed his forehead to Roman’s. “We should probably get back to our seats. I don’t want to miss anything, and I don’t want Bria to start to wonder about us.”
“That’s a good idea.” Roman stood still, smiling mischievously. If Kit wasn’t mistaken, it seemed as if he were challenging him to be the first to make a move to the door and pull away from his embrace.
Kit took a deep breath, quickly pecked Roman’s cheek, and walked to the door. It was hard pulling himself away and getting back out to the theater, but he managed to keep his eyes forward and return to his seat. Like before, he took Roman’s hand in his, this time much more at ease about the gesture.
The play ended an hour later, and as Sandy and Danny drove off into the sky, the audience rose to its feet and clapped wildly. Through all of the cheering, Kit could hear Bria hooting and hollering. She only got louder when it was time for the curtain call. With each new actress appearing on stage, the crowd celebrated earnestly.
Trish stepped out onto the stage, and that’s when Kit noticed tears streaming down Bria’s face. He reached around Chad and rubbed her shoulder. Though her eyes were wet, she was smiling and clapping. Trish held hands with both of her assistants. The three of them raised their arms together, then bowed. When she stood upright, the look on Trish’s face changed.
In the midst of everything, Kit couldn’t see what exactly was wrong, but he felt the shift. He glanced to Bria. She wiped her eyes, pausing when she noticed that Trish was frozen in place. Bria whipped her head around and searched the audience.
“That was amazing,” Chad said.
“Yeah…” Kit said, looking between Bria and Trish. He heard Bria gasp and saw her cover her mouth.
“Kit,” she said, jerking her head to the side. He narrowed his eyes and turned around. He searched the audience until he met eyes with a woman staring back at both of them.
“Fuck,” he whispered.
Roman squeezed his hand. “Who is that?”
Kit’s mouth was dry. He felt lightheaded. His heartbeat quickened, and he was tempted to take off, running for his life. Roman reiterated his question.
“Kit, who is she?”
“That’s my mother.”
21
Change Me
It was like an out of body experience. Kit was certain he’d been hallucinating, but as his mother Tonya approached him and the others, the realization was slowly settling in on him. His mother was here, and she was going to ruin everything. He didn’t have to question it, nor could he muster up any kind of hopefulness to combat the gut-churning feeling that came with her presence.
As the audience stood to leave, Roman helped Kit up from his seat. Having someone there holding onto him grounded his mind. He and the others followed the audience out of the auditorium and into the main lobby.
“Are you okay?” Roman asked, glancing at Tonya as she approached. Kit didn’t say a word.
“There you two are,” Tonya said, rushing towards them and pulling them into hugs. Bria was the only one able to hug her back. Kit remained unmoved, his jaw set hard enough to hurt. “I was looking for you two all night. I need to talk to you in private.” Her eyes slid to Chad and Roman, looking them over judgmentally.
“Excuse us,” Roman said, stepping away from them. Chad glanced at Kit, and Kit nodded. Once they were alone, Tonya smiled at her children.
“God, you two have grown up so much,” she said, reaching to touch Kit’s hair.
He moved out of her way. “What are you doing here?” He couldn’t even keep up appearances with the woman. Bria reached for his hand, lacing her fingers through the fist he’d been squeezing at his side.
“Why are you here, Mom? Is Dad with you?” she asked, more levelheaded and relaxed.
Tonya brushed her hair from her face. “I’m here alone for a few days. Your father wanted to come but he couldn’t just up and leave work. I heard about Trish’s performance and I wanted to show my support. Is that okay?”
“Would it be okay if we showed up to a special moment of yours without asking if that was okay?” Kit asked, venom dripping from his words.
“Kenneth, be realistic. You wouldn’t ask us anyways,” The dismissal in her response was enough to make Kit see red.
Bria gripped his hand hard. “Look, I don’t think now is the time or place. This is Trish’s moment, and I don’t want you ruining it. How much was your flight here? I’ll pay for your ticket back, okay?”
“I’m not leaving,” she laughed in disbelief. “I came to spend time with you. I haven’t seen either of my babies since—”
“You called me a homo in front of everyone the day I told you I was leaving to go stay with Bria,” Kit said, finishing her sentence. He’d tried so hard to keep his composure, but his body was alight with energy. He wanted to break something and scream in Tonya’s face and break down in tears.
“Kit—”
“No, Mom, don’t pretend like you didn’t say that, because you fucking did. You told me to go stay with Bria because you didn’t want anybody knowing that you had a faggot for a son, too. I don’t care why you came back here, but I know that I'd rather eat shit than spend any time with you.”
As he turned to leave, Tonya reached out and took hold of his arm. “Get your narrow ass back here. Look at me,” she demanded. Kit reluctantly turned to meet her eyes.
“What?”
“I’m not saying that I didn’t call you that. I’m not denying that your father and I ever treated you and Bria terribly. We did. We didn’t do all that we were supposed to, and there’s no way that we can ever make up for that or change what we did. All that we can do is try and make you and Bria see that we’re trying to do better.”
Kit pulled himself from her grasp and looked at her hard, eyes narrowed as he searched for any kind of deception. He knew how they worked. He’d been on the receiving end of their mind games one too many times to fall for the okeydoke all over again.
“I think we all just need a bit of time apart to cool off, okay?” Bria said. Kit knew it killed her having to play peacekeeper when she was just as mad that Tonya was here. Guilt pressed down on him.
“I want to take you all to dinner,” she said, looking between the two of them.
“No,” Kit said. “You and Bria and Trish can go, but I’m not going.”
“Okay,” Tonya said. “Is that okay?”
Bria nodded. “That’s fine. And you can stay on my couch until Dad gets here. I don’t know if I’ll have room for both of you on my sofa, but we can figure it out later. We have to go find Trish now, though.”
“Sure,” Tonya said, smiling slightly. “Hopefully we’ll be able to spend some more time with you, Kit.”
“Probably not.” He turned and left, heading towards Roman and Chad. He knew they’d been watching the conversation by the way they averted their eyes when he approached. “It’s fine,” he said, letting out a long breath. “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure? Because I’ll catch a case for throwing bows at your moms,” Chad offered.
“No,” Kit said. “No fighting. She’s staying in town for God knows how long, it’s whatever. I’m not dealing with her. If she or my dad tries to talk to me, I’m walking right past them.”
“All jokes aside, man, I’m serious. If it gets too much or you feel like you can’t handle them, I’m here for you, okay?” Chad pulled Kit into a hug, patting him
on the back.
A swell of emotions raced through Kit. He could have very easily allowed himself to break down. His hands shook from the adrenaline, and his breathing still hadn’t returned to normal. He was a mess just barely hanging together, but being held by Chad reminded him that he wasn’t completely broken.
Kit pulled back from the hug. “Thanks, man.”
“Anytime, fam. I should probably get going, though. I’m just gonna catch a cab home. You guys have a good night, and tell Trish I loved the show.”
“Definitely.” Kit waved goodbye as Chad headed outside.
Roman had been noticeably silent ever since the play ended. He offered Kit a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder and steered him out to the car. Even on the drive back to Kit’s apartment, Roman kept his lips pressed together tight. The radio playing was the only thing that kept the two of them from riding home without an peep.
When they made it back to his apartment, Kit said, “Will you come up?”
“Of course.” Roman unbuckled his seatbelt and climbed out of the car. On the way inside, he slung his arm around Kit’s shoulder and pulled him closer.
Kit unlocked the door and kicked off his shoes, sighing heavily. Tonight had been a whirlwind of emotions. He’d been terrified that Chad was going to mess something up when he met Roman. He’d been excited to see the musical and all the hard work Trish had put out there. He’d been enraged enough to consider letting Chad actually beat up his mother. All he wanted now was to sleep for a few hours—maybe even a few days.
He collapsed on the sofa and folded into himself, hugging his knees close. His gaze remained trained on the wall while Roman tinkered around in the kitchen. Eventually the man took a seat next to him and handed him a glass of tea.
“Thanks,” he said softly.
Roman waited a minute before he said, “Talk to me.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Kit said. He dropped his gaze to the tea in his hands.
“It does matter, Kit. The person I saw after the musical wasn’t the person I saw before. I don’t know what it is or why, but you changed. I want to understand it.” Roman moved closer and slipped his arm around Kit’s shoulders.