by Jack Harbon
It was finally time for his interview, and he cleared his throat while striding through the doors. The front desk was noticeably empty. “That’s going to change,” he said to himself, giving himself a mini pep talk.
A woman across the room giggled softly. “That’s the spirit,” she said. “Are you here for the interview with Mr. Hendon?”
“I am, yes.”
“If you follow me, I’ll take you to his office.” She ran her fingers through her long blonde hair and offered a reassuring smile. Kit could sense a nervousness about her, but also a touch of familiarity. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he felt he could relate to her.
He followed her down the hall and towards the elevator. Inside, the two of them stood uncomfortably silent until he said, “So, do you work here?”
“I do. I’m Mr. Hendon’s assistant.”
“Ah, like my last job.”
“Where did you work?”
Kit didn’t want to admit it just in case they made some calls and asked around. If they called the wrong person, he could easily lose this opportunity as well. Instead, he coyly said, “I don’t kiss and tell, sorry.”
The woman nodded. “Fair enough.” Kit couldn’t think of a time he’d been on any longer of an elevator ride. That stifling silence continued until she said, “This is really unprofessional, so please don’t tell him I said this, but he’s going to attempt to bully you and scare you, so you have to be prepared for it.”
Kit blinked. “Who, Mr. Hendon?”
“Yes. The only reason I got the job was because I didn’t leave his office crying like everyone else did. He takes asshole to the fifth level, so get ready now. And don’t let him trip you up with his mental challenges, okay?”
“Why are you helping me?” he asked.
“I’m tired of seeing people getting upset. If I can help them, I want to, even if it’s only by letting them know what their walking into.”
It suddenly made sense. That familiarity. Roman had done the same thing to him. Unluckily for Mr. Hendon, Kit wasn’t going to let himself fall for that trap a second time. He had this under control.
“Thank you for the heads up,” he said, smiling slightly. The worry lines in her forehead softened.
When the doors opened, the assistant took him to Mr. Hendon’s office and knocked. She poked her head in to tell him that his three o’clock interview was here, then stepped aside to let Kit in.
“Good luck,” she whispered before closing the door.
Mr. Hendon mirrored the stock image of a businessman. He was stout with a heavyset frame, slicked back black hair, and a hard brow. He looked angry already, and Kit hadn’t said anything yet. Determined to make an impression, though, Kit reached forward and stuck his hand out.
“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Hendon.”
“You too, Mr. Bayer,” Hendon said, shaking his hand firmly.
The beginning of this interview was quite routine. Hendon was looking for a receptionist, nothing more, nothing less. He wasn’t going to ever get a promotion to become part of the team, he wasn’t going to end up making close friends with anyone, and he certainly wasn’t going to be irreplaceable. Hendon said this as if that were supposed to scare him.
The last job he’d worked at, Kit’s boyfriend-boss had fired him and broke up with him in front of all of his coworkers and friends. Not making friends with anyone here actually sounded like a dream.
“I want you to tell me, right now, why you want this shitty job,” Hendon said. The question was completely left field, and Kit needed a moment to think. He’d never been asked a question so bluntly, nor had he ever seen an interviewer so blatantly express their disdain for a position.
“I was going to come up with some kind of wistful and dreamy answer, but the truth is that I have bills to pay and I need this money. I know, I’m supposed to say that I ‘want to be a part of a bigger thing’ and talk about how being a receptionist has been my dream since I was a little boy, but I want this job so I don’t end up homeless. I want this job because I have responsibilities and I made agreements with people that I can’t back out of. Even if it means working somewhere where I’m isolated and I have no friends.”
Kit shrugged and looked back at Hendon who sat staring him down. If Hendon was looking for honesty, he’d surely gotten exactly that. Another long silence passed before Hendon nodded and pulled out his pen. He scribbled something on a notepad and glanced at the door.
“You can go.”
“Alright,” Kit said. He pushed himself out of the chair, almost tempted to laugh at his situation. When he reached for the doorknob, Hendon stopped him.
“Come in on Monday and we’ll get your paperwork set up. Don’t thank me, don’t start crying, just get out of here.”
Finally, Kit laughed. This entire experience was almost surreal. He’d basically shitted on this opportunity with his new boss and had still gotten the job. Mercury had to be in some kind of retrograde because none of this made sense. Taking Hendon’s direction, he headed out without a word.
*
“To Kit getting another job!”
Tonya raised her glass and nudged Dorian to do the same. Kit looked at his parents like they were crazy before he laughed and finally joined in. He clinked his glass with theirs and took a long sip of the wine. Dorian set his glass of water down and said,
“I know you probably think that we’re being corny, but Kit, we’re seriously proud of you. You’ve grown to be such a go-getter, and I think that’s what makes us the proudest.”
Tonya nodded enthusiastically. “You’ve become the person we always wanted you to be. Mature, responsible, and brave.”
Their corny, sentimental words were only slightly cringey. He’d decided that tonight, he was going to let them have this and enjoy their praise. He’d spent so many years trying to earn that, and now they were willing to share it with him. He only wished Bria could have been with him. As great as his parents were treating him, she was still the biggest protector and provider in his life. He wanted her more than anything. Unfortunately, she’d already made plans with Trish, but she’d promised to take him out to celebrate tomorrow.
“You know, I think this is the first family dinner we’ve had together in almost five years,” Tonya said, looking between the both of them.
“It feels good, doesn’t it?” Dorian asked. Tonya smiled softly, her eyes growing wet. She quickly swiped them away.
“Sorry, I don’t want to get emotional,” she said.
“It’s fine, Mom,” Kit said, reaching out to touch her hand. He gave her a squeeze.
“I love you,” she said quietly.
“I meant to tell you earlier,” Dorian began, “We’ve set up the automatic payments for your loans, Kit. By this time next year, you’re going to be a free man!”
This was the kind of good news Kit needed to hear. After a long deliberation with Bria, he’d decided to let their parents take care of his loans, and neither of them had made a big deal about it yet. He’d been waiting for the ball to drop, for one of them to say “just kidding!” and change their mind, but Tonya and Dorian did nothing of the sort.
“I don’t think I ever thanked you both really,” Kit said. “But I want to now. When you first showed up, I felt like everything I’d worked to build was going to fall apart. I don’t want to beat a dead horse because I know you both feel terrible, but you guys really fucked me and Bria up. What matters, though, is that you’re both trying. You’re trying to be here now. It takes a big person to actually admit that they were wrong. Especially you two,” he laughed. Tonya joined in with him.
“I just want to thank you for being there for me and Bria. All we ever wanted was a family like this,” he said, ending his little speech. This time, Tonya couldn’t fight back the tears. She stopped them before they reached her chin, sniffling hard.
“It takes an even bigger person to forgive someone, Kenneth,” Dorian said.
Maybe it did. His whole life, he’d been
determined to prove them wrong, and in that determination, he’d found true happiness here in New York. No matter where he came from, this was his home. When Tonya and Dorian arrived, he’d been sure they were going to destroy that. He’d lashed out at them. And now, here he was, actually having dinner with them without throwing drinks in their face.
Dorian took a long drink of his water. “Your mother and I wanted to ask you something,” he said, his tone slightly calmer. Tonya looked up from her food as if this was news to her.
“What’s up?” Kit asked. He popped the last of his breadstick into his mouth.
“I need your help, Kit.”
He glanced at his mother curiously, then back to his father. “Help with what?”
“Last month, I was having some back pains, and I couldn’t figure out what it was. I went to the doctor to see if there was something bad going on, and he told me it was my kidney.” Dorian’s words hung heavy in the air. “Kidney failure, to be more specific.”
“Holy shit, are you gonna be okay?” he asked.
“I don’t know. My doctor said that it’s extremely likely that I’ll make it through, but from the looks of the donor list, I might not be around long enough to. I’m a fifty-year-old man, and there are children on that waiting list. Who do you think they’re going to try and help first? My only hope is finding someone that’s willing to donate to me.”
Kit was silent.
His smile faded away as the realization of the situation crept over him. He stared at his hands, watched how they shook, and squeezed them into fists. He was such an idiot. He was such a goddamn idiot.
“You didn’t come back for us,” he said lowly.
“Kit—”
“You didn’t come back to fix the fucked-up things you did to us. You didn’t want to pay off our loans because you felt guilty. You wanted to buy my fucking kidney from me.” His voice grew loud enough to draw attention to their table.
“Dorian, you can’t be serious,” Tonya whispered.
“Kit, I did come back because I wanted to fix our family,” Dorian said.
“I can’t believe I actually believed that you were thinking about anyone but yourself. I told Bria earlier that you were finally becoming a man of God. You were finally righting all the wrongs you’d done. But all along, you only came back to take something else from me. Wasn’t my entire fucking childhood good enough?”
Kit was shouting at this point. He couldn’t have cared any less. “Wasn’t it bad enough that you took so much from me that I tried to kill myself? Now you literally want me to cut myself open for you? You can go fuck yourself!”
He shot up from his seat, knocking his glass of wine to the floor. Dorian’s eyes darted around the room.
“Kit, I’ll die if you don’t help me.”
“Then die.”
Shock settled on Dorian’s face. Kit had never felt this much coldness towards a person. He wanted to drive his fists into his father’s face until his hands broke. He wanted to scream until he could no longer feel anything but the rawness of his throat. He squeezed his fists and turned, shoving past the manager as he approached Kit. He didn’t even grab his umbrella on the way out.
He had to get out of here. He had to get far away from these people. Outside, Kit checked his phone. He could barely see with the rain falling on the screen, but he saw that his sister had tried calling him four times.
“Kit.”
Kit turned to find Roman standing across the street, drenched in the pouring rain. He took off towards him, narrowly avoiding being hit by a taxi. Kit threw himself into Roman’s arms, sobbing, and for a moment, he forgot about their fight and everything that had gone wrong between them.
29
I Only Want You
Kit didn’t care if he was soaked through his clothes. He didn’t care if he’d just humiliated himself in front of the entire restaurant, nor was he concerned with how his father would react after he’d just told him off. All he could see was the anger that rolled through him like a violent storm. He’d given Dorian a second chance. After years of emotional abuse, he’d opened his heart to forgive him, only to be stabbed in the back. He couldn’t believe he was this stupid.
Slowly, his tunnel vision disappeared when he realized who he was hugging and where they were. He pulled back and shoved Roman away from him, glaring up at him. “What are you doing here?” he demanded.
“I came to talk to you,” Roman said, wiping the rain from his face.
“What, are you stalking me or something? How’d you even know where I was?”
“I went to talk to Bria. She told me where you were.”
The missed calls on his phone suddenly made sense. Bria must have been calling to warn him that Roman was on his way to the restaurant. He wanted to be mad at her for not keeping her mouth shut, but he knew his sister and he knew Roman. She got flustered under pressure, and Roman knew how to persuade someone to do something for him.
“What happened?” Roman asked. He looked back at the restaurant.
“You don’t get to ask me questions, Roman. You’re the one that broke up with me, remember? What was it that you said? That everything about me was endearing and you never wanted me to change? Am I suddenly endearing again because you and every other person at Yellow Fall thinks I stole seven grand?” Kit knew that his anger was coming from another source, but he couldn’t stop it. If he could, he would’ve yelled at every single person who’d ever wronged him. Instead, he settled for Roman.
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” Roman didn’t even seem to flinch at Kit’s volume. He stared back with hard eyes, determined.
“Roman, get the fuck out of my face, honestly.”
Kit started to turn but Roman caught him by the arm. Kit shot him a warning look and Roman’s hand fell to his side. “I need to apologize.”
Kit stared back, unsure of himself. He’d spent so much of his time trying not to think about Roman that seeing him suddenly turn up was an overload. He wanted to slap him and kiss him and tell him where he could shove his apology. He raised an eyebrow expectantly.
“Okay,” Roman said. His hardened mask fell and Kit watched him struggle to get his thoughts in order. “I… I called you. The entire weekend, I called you, because I couldn’t believe what the IT department was telling me. You couldn’t have done this—”
“I didn’t.”
“Please let me finish.”
Kit sighed. “Fine.”
“I couldn’t see you doing something like this. But I let Ari get in my head. He wanted this done and dealt with, and you were an easy answer. You were the new employee that got so accustomed to spending Yellow Fall money with the first project I assigned to you. You were fresh out of college and looking to make some quick cash. You were believable. And when you didn’t answer my calls, I—I thought about my ex. She put this fear in me that I couldn’t trust anyone again because they’d always let me down, just like she did.”
“That has nothing to do with me, Roman. I’m not her.”
“And thank God you’re not,” Roman said. “But for a second, I thought you were. And I’m a fucking idiot for thinking that. Do you want to know why I know that this wasn’t you?”
“Aside from me telling you pointblank that it wasn’t me?”
“Yes.”
“How?” Kit looked at him cautiously. Roman was already on thin ice with him.
Roman smiled sadly. “I looked over that information again tonight. The day you sent me those emails and the day money was withdrawn from Yellow Fall’s account was October first. You were with me, celebrating my birthday, not a tablet in sight. You spent the entire day taking care of me. Showing me what it felt like to have someone in my corner. You were there for me, and…and I was convinced that you’d betrayed me.”
Roman’s eyes darted away. Kit wasn’t sure if he was looking at tears or rain rolling down Roman’s cheeks, but his heart tugged and he wanted to touch him. He didn’t care whether it was
holding his hand or wiping his eyes, but he longed for that contact.
“I told Ari about us. I told him that we’d been seeing each other, and that you were at my house the night this happened. You were with me all night. You weren’t even on your phone, let alone your tablet.”
“You put your job on the line,” Kit said quietly.
“I don’t care. I don’t care if Ari’s pissed, or disappointed, or even if he fires me. None of that shit matters because without you being there, it’s a fucking job. I can get hired anywhere. There are a million and one jobs out there that want me. But there’s only one you, and I only want you to want me again.”
It was Kit’s turn to look away.
“You were my teammate, Kit. You were the one person I could depend on more than anyone else. And I fucked that all up, and there’s nothing else I can do but beg for you to see how stupid I am and how much I need you. I’m sorry for saying that shit about your parents. For embarrassing you in front of everyone in the office. For even thinking for a second that you were anything less than an honest and good person.”
Kit finally met his eyes again, shaking his head. “You’re so stupid.”
“I know.” Roman stepped closer, tentatively placing his hands on Kit’s hips.
“You got me fired because you believed someone else over me.”
Roman nodded. “I did.” He pressed his forehead to Kit’s.
“And you hurt my feelings.”
“I’m sorry.” Roman kissed Kit’s nose. This close to him, Kit could smell that familiar cologne that he wore, and he took in a deep breath.
“I’m sorry I said that you couldn’t do anything without help from someone,” Kit said.