by Jack Harbon
“If I let you see, it’s going to ruin the surprise,” he said.
“If I trip and die, that’s gonna ruin the surprise too!”
“You’ll be fine,” Roman said softly. “I have you.”
Kit wasn’t sure where they were going, but he knew it was somewhere out in the middle of nowhere. The drive out of the city had been long enough for him to fall asleep, and when he woke up, Roman had placed his hands over his eyes and was instructing him to carefully climb out of the car.
Using his senses, Kit could hear the sound of water and smell the woods, but that didn’t help him pinpoint their location. He was completely at the other man’s mercy.
“Okay, now there are some stairs coming up, so be careful,” Roman said, helping him take the first one. He guided Kit up the small staircase, praising him. “Ready to see?”
“I’ve been ready,” Kit laughed.
“Ta-da.”
Roman pulled his hands away. Kit blinked, adjusting to the bright surroundings. They stood on the porch of an old cabin surrounded by more trees than he’d seen in years. Behind them, a lake stirred softly.
“Where are we?” he asked, turning to face Roman.
“I’ll let you figure that out,” Roman replied. He placed the key to the door in Kit’s hand before heading back to the car to get their bags. Kit unlocked the front door and stepped inside, instantly hit with the smell. It was rustic, like a cabin should’ve smelled. He wanted to package it into a candle to burn in his house.
As Roman retrieved their bags, Kit wandered through the cabin, looking at everything. He stopped at the fireplace and smiled to himself. The pictures on the mantel were of a young boy and his parents. Roman. This was their cabin. Kit reached for the picture of Roman in a little bathing suit and large floaties. It looked to be taken right outside, decades before they’d ever met.
Kit ran his finger over the picture tenderly. Behind him, Roman placed the bags down and made his way over. He slipped his arms around Kit’s waist and placed his chin on his shoulder. “That’s a cute kid if I’ve ever seen one.”
“He’s alright,” Kit teased. “How old were you in this picture?”
“Three or four, I think. Twenty-six years ago. Damn.”
“Tell me about it, old man,” Kit smiled. He placed the picture back on the mantle and turned around. “How come you brought me here?”
“I wanted to spend the weekend with you before we had to get back to work. I was considering coming up here for my birthday, but that seemed really personal. Given everything we’ve been through, though, I’ve decided it doesn’t really matter what I think is personal or not. I want to share it all with you.”
“All of it?”
Roman nodded. “All of it. All my baby pictures, and childhood stories, and the old room I used to sleep in whenever my parents would take me up here during the summer. We spent three months of the year up here back in the day.”
“I was lucky if my parents ever took us to the park,” Kit laughed.
“Are you okay? You were vague over the phone about what happened with them,” Roman said.
“It was kind of this whole thing,” he said bashfully. Kit rehashed the situation with his father. Roman listened intently, raising his eyebrows when it got to the part about Bria and the dragging she’d given their father.
“I don’t ever plan on seeing him again. He came here to lie and pay off all his sins from before. But I’m not a kid anymore. I’m done trying to be what he wants. Sorry, I should stop talking about him.”
“No,” Roman said, brushing a curl of Kit’s hair back into place. “Don’t apologize. I want to know everything about you and how you’re feeling. Even the ugly stuff that no one wants to talk about. I want you to feel safe enough to talk to me about anything, kitten.”
Kit didn’t know what to say or do other than to hug Roman. It was times like this where Kit had a hard time believing that the person he’d met months ago was the person he was in love with now. Before any of this had started, Kit was sure he’d hate Roman. He was blunt, determined, and there were times when he’d come off as just plain cruel. But that wasn’t the person he was now.
The Roman then would never have taken him to his family’s cabin for a private weekend getaway. He’d never ask for complete transparency in their relationship. But underneath that cold, no-nonsense exterior was someone that was looking for affection just as much as Kit was. It was still mind-blowing to Kit that the two of them had ever even gotten to this point.
“I have something for you,” Kit said, stepping out of Roman’s arms. He hurried over to his luggage to search for the small box.
“What is it?”
“Something I picked up before we left.” Kit found the box and returned to Roman’s side, handing it over to him. Slowly, Roman pulled the top of the box off and smiled. Inside was a long necklace with a golden cat paw charm. “I made sure that the chain was long enough so that you can tuck it into your shirt.”
The smile on Roman’s face grew wider. “I love it.”
“Here, let me put it on you.” Kit slipped it from the box and stepped behind him, pushing up on his toes. He draped it over the front of Roman’s chest before he brought the clasps together. “There!”
“It’s perfect,” Roman said, looking down at the necklace. He grabbed Kit and hefted him into the air, wrapping Kit’s legs around his waist for leverage.
“It looks good on you,” Kit said.
“It’d look better if it was the only thing on me.”
Kit didn’t need to ask what that meant. Roman’s steps towards the bedroom told him everything he needed to know.
*
Kit lie in bed with his eyes on the ceiling, lost in his own thoughts. There was a strange feeling of peace that he hadn’t experienced much of—if any at all. His entire life had been a constant battle of approval. Approval from his friends, from his family, from his coworkers. He’d gone so long having to prove himself that when the moment came when he didn’t have to, he wasn’t certain how to react.
The pessimistic side of him wanted him to know that this wouldn’t last forever. Sooner or later, something bad would come into his life and shake everything up. If something good was happening, it was only a matter of time before it went away. On the other end of the spectrum, these were the times he was supposed to cherish. Things could only get better from this point on. Somewhere in the middle, Kit made a compromise.
This happiness wouldn’t last forever, and maybe it was best that way. Without struggle, he would never have understood the concept of happiness. Without the rain, he couldn’t appreciate the sunshine. Life wasn’t about preparing for the worst, but rather finding a support team that could help him through it. In Kit’s mind, he had the best team one could ask for.
His mother was slowly shaping up to be someone he might be able to depend on again. Bria had been there for him since they were babies, and if he had all the time in the world to thank her, it still wouldn’t be enough. Chad was in that same category, blood being the only thing separating them from being true brothers. And now he had Roman.
Roman provided him with a different kind of love—one he’d never had before. Roman’s love wasn’t selfish like Jaylen’s had been. It wasn’t toxic like so many in the past. It was selfless. It was giving, never taking, and abundant. Kit knew he could never quite fit his real feelings for Roman in a single sentence, but still he tried. He tried every time he told him he loved him.
“I need to talk to you,” Kit said, breaking the silence he and Roman had found comfort in. Kit pulled the blanket up to his chest and turned to look at Roman.
“Yes?” Roman’s hair was a mess and his smile was lazy.
“I don’t know how to tell you this, but…I think it might be time for me to leave Yellow Fall for good. I think this will be my last week with the company.”
“What? Why?” The smile fell.
“I know I just got back and everything’s good and all
, but I’m thinking about the future. I don’t want to be a personal assistant for the rest of my life. I want to put my business degree to use. And not only that, but I want to be on equal footing with you.”
“You are, Kit.”
“No, I mean at work. Even though we’re equals here, we’re not equals there. You’ll always be my boss. You’ll always have more power over me. That’s not a bad thing, I just don’t want to have another situation like when we broke up for like, six days. I don’t want to lose you and my job in case something terrible happens again.”
Roman was quiet for a while. Kit couldn’t read him, but he could tell that he was mulling this over in his head. “That makes sense.”
“You’re not mad at me, are you?”
Roman propped himself up on one elbow. “Kit, do you really think I’m that selfish that I wouldn’t want you to go out and have your own success? I want you to use all of that fire that you have in your heart for something more than just taking our coffee orders and planning out my schedule for the week.” He reached forward and brushed his thumb across Kit’s bottom lip. “I want you to do whatever makes you happy, even if I am a little sad to see you go.”
“I think it would be for the best, for both of us. Less distraction at work. Less bickering whenever I get in a bratty mood.”
“I happen to love your bratty moods, even when they get on my last nerve.”
“Thank you for not being mad,” Kit murmured. “I was scared you’d think I was insulting you or saying that I didn’t believe in us making it through another fight or something.”
“No, I know what you mean. I know you’re thinking about the future and your goals, and I’d never want to hold you back or keep you tied down to a place you weren’t happy with. But I do want you to know that you’re the most exciting employee Yellow Fall’s ever had.”
“No, I’m not,” Kit snorted.
“You are. We get a lot of people who’ve worked in this business for a while, and they don’t bring that spark of energy. They don’t bring that enthusiasm to the table. But you did. You came in determined to prove me wrong, even in our first interview. That’s why you’re the most exciting employee. You challenged me, and your coworkers, and even Ari.”
Kit rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t fight off the blush growing on his face. “You’re saying that because you like me.”
“Maybe,” Roman shrugged. “But it’s true. So, even though I’m happy that you’re thinking about moving on and finding something bigger and better, I know that so many people are gonna miss having you at work.”
“Well, I’m gonna miss them too.”
“I have an idea,” Roman said. “How about this last week you’re here, we make it as fun as possible? We’ll send you off the best way we know how. Barbie can throw one of her parties, the whole thing. Would you like that?”
The idea alone was enough to make Kit emotional. He scooted closer to Roman and nuzzled against him. “I would love that.”
“Then it’s all yours, baby.”
36
One Last Time
The weather outside felt nice. This wasn’t something Kit could normally say given that New York weather had a vendetta against the people that lived there, but on this particular night, there was nothing more than a cold breeze, enough to justify a comfy sweater. Kit leaned back against the railing on Chad’s apartment roof and stared up at the sky. Rarely did he ever see stars, but he could imagine.
Across the terrace, Bria and Trish bickered about the proper way to prepare the barbecue. Trish eventually conceded and let Bria do whatever she wanted. He smirked. That was usually how things worked in their relationship. In a way, that was paralleled in his own relationship. Roman was hardheaded and occasionally challenged him, but once Kit gave him that look or flashed that innocent frown, he got his way.
Part of him wished Roman could be here tonight, but he still had work to do at the office. For the past week, the two of them had been living up their last days together. They spent much of the day talking, unable to stop now that their relationship was out in the open. Not only that, but soon he’d be forced to spend hours away from Roman every single day. He wanted to soak up as much of the man’s time as he could before his last day.
Roman also had to look for a new assistant. This was a process Kit was helping with. The only people Roman was allowed to hire were married people, preferably a straight man. Roman laughed when Kit joked about his habit of sleeping with his assistants.
The door beside Kit opened, and Chad stepped out, groceries in his hands. Kit hustled over to take a few of them from him and walked back to the table beside the grill. “Thanks,” Chad said.
“What all did you get?” Trish asked, poking through the groceries.
“I got a little of everything. I got them honey barbecue chips that you like,” he said. Trish took a step back and pointed at him, smiling.
“You a real one, Chad.” She grabbed the bag of chips and popped it open, crunching down on a few of them. Kit cracked open one of the strawberry sodas Chad had picked up. While Bria and Trish returned to the grill, the boys removed all of their loot from the bags, spreading it out on the table. Cookies, chips, soda, beers, and the necessary utensils for eating. He’d even picked up the good kind of potato salad.
“How are you doing, man?” Kit asked, stepping away from the others so they could be alone. In the midst of his final week at Yellow Fall, Kit had given Chad the space he needed to deal with his situation. It had been hell just trying to convince him to have a little party, just the four of them.
“I’m doing alright. It still sucks. I’ve been reading up on what’s going on. Did you see the news?”
Kit nodded. He’d watched the reporter describe the situation at work. Michelle had been described as the car accident victim slash cyberthief. Those first few days after the incident, the media had a heyday with it. They sensationalized her, and just as quickly, tossed her aside when reports of a company’s CEO laundering money broke. Like one of the stars Kit couldn’t quiet see, Michelle shone her brightest right before she burned out.
“I just want to know why she thought it was okay to do this to me, y’know? But that’s not something I’ll ever understand. Yeah, she wanted to hurt Roman, but she brought us into her game, and that’s fucked up.” His fist clenched tight, and his eyes cut across to the side of the terrace, avoiding Kit. “It doesn’t matter, though. Fuck her.”
“Exactly. If you let her continue to hurt you even when she’s locked up, you’ll never get past the situation. I know it’s hard, but you just have to move on.”
Chad laughed bitterly. “Thank you for making me do this. I didn’t want to, but it’s actually kind of nice. No one ever uses the grills up here because they’re all WASP-y as fuck.”
“Plus, you know they’d just slap the chicken on the grill without even washing or seasoning that shit or anything,” Kit laughed.
“Hell yeah they would. Be like, ‘A little salt and pepper is all you need, Kenneth. Now, try my homemade green bean and pea casserole!’”
“’Oh, Madeline, these carrots are so spicy, what’d you put on them? What’s this black stuff? Pepper?’”
The two of them kept this act going, and just like that, Michelle was gone. Kit couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed hard enough to cry, but here he was, doubling over as they quipped about the bland people that lived in Chad’s apartment building.
When it was time to eat, they took their seats at the table and Bria said grace. After her little prayer, she scooped out a handful of potato salad and plopped it down beside her two veggie dogs. Kit cringed at the thought, imagining just how badly those would taste. Then he smiled. Bria would probably get along nicely with the other tenants in this apartment.
After thirty minutes of chattering and talking about the latest political bullshit that they’d seen online, Kit cleared his throat. “I’m gonna be mad corny and say some deep shit, so gimme a second.”
“Here we go,” Trish teased, rolling her eyes.
“For real! I know we’ve all been going through it lately, but I want to say that this is all we ever really need. Whether we’re going through breakups, bad situations with our parents, or stressful times at work, I know that I’m always safe here with you guys, and I appreciate that. I love the fuck outta y’all.”
Chad raised his Styrofoam cup, Dr. Pepper sloshing down one side. “To being there for each other!” The others joined him in the gesture, repeating the phrase.
Kit sat back in his chair and just smiled. He couldn’t stop smiling.
*
This was it. The day he’d been dreading and looking forward to. Kit had come into work a little later than normal, per Roman’s request, to find a stranger exiting Roman’s office. The man looked straight out of an H&M store, with horn-rimmed glasses and a neatly shaven beard. Best of all, Kit caught sight of a ring on his left hand.
They nodded at each other as he walked to the elevator. The pep in his walk told Kit everything he needed to know. Whoever this man was, he’d just been given the job.
Kit pushed open the door to Roman’s office and smiled at him sadly. Roman frowned and beckoned him inside, pulling him in for a hug.
“Don’t be sad, kitten. This is it for Yellow Fall, but it’s not over for you. Ira’s gonna find you the best place for you sooner than you think.”
“I know,” Kit sighed. “I’m just sad. Like, I know everyone thought I was a hoodrat scammer bitch, but they’re like my second family. I’m even gonna miss Yolanda dragging me for wearing two different socks or having food on my face.”
Roman chuckled deeply. “I’m sure she’ll miss pointing out all those things too. But remember why you’re doing this. You’re going to go on to do amazing things. You’re going to be huge before you know it.”
Kit shrugged, unable to argue. He wanted that to be true. Sure, he had no idea where he was going to go after Yellow Fall, but it was going to be exactly where he belonged. He wanted to be part of a company more than an assistant was, especially one where he didn’t have to worry about his boyfriend being his boss. He’d seen too many dramas on ABC to think there wasn’t a conflict of interest when it came to dating his boss.