by Kat Mizera
After watching her dance, though, he was more than a little intrigued and wasn’t sure why. He had no explanation for what he was feeling, so he took another swig of beer as the lights went down. Instead of the hip-hop sound from the other night, Joe Cocker’s “You Can Leave Your Hat On” came through the speakers, and he leaned back, watching the stage intently. Cassie came out in a business suit with a knee-length skirt and a blazer. She pretended to stumble in her high black heels, then grabbed the pole and looked over her shoulder.
Right at him.
He swallowed as he met her gaze. Though he’d been sitting with her for a couple of hours now, she looked like someone else up there. She’d been wearing the wig the whole time he’d been here, so that wasn’t it, and as she started to twirl around the pole, he was mesmerized. Her body was lithe and strong, an athlete’s body, but also curvy and feminine. He could imagine what her breasts would feel like beneath his hands and how it would look to have her beneath him. No, on top. Yeah, having that perfect body riding him would be fucking heaven.
Jesus, he felt like a horny teenager again as her clothes came off, one piece at a time. The skirt, the blazer, and then the black lacy bra. Her show the other night had been interrupted, so he hadn’t gotten to see her fully nude, and now his cock stiffened behind his jeans as he watched. Another second and she was going to be naked.
Okay, no. This was bad. He didn’t need to see her naked again.
Nope.
He forced himself to his feet and headed into the restroom. There was no way in hell he’d be able to look at her naked up there and then just sit and chat afterward. He had plenty of self-control, but self-inflicted torture wasn’t necessary. And she was strictly in the friend zone.
He was back at the table by the time she came out. One of the other customers immediately stopped her, offering to buy her a drink and asking for a lap dance. Though he was only a couple of tables away, the music was loud, so Logan didn’t hear the whole conversation, but the guy seemed to accept whatever Cassie had told him and moved in the other direction.
Cassie got something at the bar that looked like ice water and then came back over to him.
“How many times a day do you have to explain you don’t do lap dances?” Logan asked curiously.
“Not that many. Most of the customers are regulars and know I don’t do them. Occasionally someone new comes in, like that guy.” She sat down and sipped her water through a neon pink straw.
“Do you drink on the job?” he asked curiously.
“Sometimes. I mean, we’re allowed, and it’s actually encouraged, but that’s empty calories for me so I try to limit it to one mixed drink right before I go on stage on the weekends. During the day shift, it’s so dead I’m not even nervous anymore.”
“You get nervous on the weekends?”
“Unfortunately, I do. I never wanted to be a performer, not like this anyway, but sometimes life throws you curve balls, so you do what you have to do.”
They talked for a while, leaving Pebbles to serve drinks to the small number of men who’d come in, but it picked up just before seven and Cassie got up to help. Logan alternated between wanting to spend more time with her and wanting to get the hell away from her.
Shit.
He wasn’t supposed to be so captivated.
He needed to stop looking at her.
Yeah, right.
He downed the rest of his beer and motioned to Cassie to bring him another.
Jesus, why was it so hot in here?
He debated leaving twenty bucks on the table and walking out, but that would be a dick move, and he was a lot of things, but a dick wasn’t one of them. He didn’t understand what was happening to him or why he suddenly just wanted to hang out with her. Women threw themselves at him all the time. Gorgeous, willing women who were perfectly happy having one-night stands with professional hockey players, no strings attached.
Cassie had never been one of them, though. They had mutual friends and hung out often enough for him to know she wasn’t interested in a one-nighter. Not with him, anyway. At least, she’d never given him that vibe, which meant he needed to stop thinking about sleeping with her. No matter how much his cock was trying to convince him otherwise. And going out for a burger was a terrible idea.
His phone buzzed in his pocket, nudging him back to reality, and he dug it out gingerly.
RYDER: Hey, we’re going out for a late dinner. You wanna meet us?
LOGAN: Who’s going?
RYDER: Me, Vik, Jude, and maybe Jake, since his wife’s out of town.
LOGAN: Okay, cool. I might ask Cassie to come too. You goin’ to the pub?
RYDER: Yup. We’ll save you seats!
LOGAN: See you in a bit!
Okay, this was safer. Cassie would do her second dance at seven thirty, then she’d change, and they could take off. By the time they got to the local pub that had the best burgers in town, he’d have control of his dick again, and then they’d be in a big group and he wouldn’t be thinking about her gorgeous body. Or the way she swung around that damn pole. Or her.
This was nothing but temporary insanity, and he’d be fine once he was back in his own element, hanging with the guys.
And that’s what he would continue telling himself until he believed it.
Cassie followed him in her own car since she hadn’t wanted to leave it at the club, and Logan waited for her to get out of her Jeep so they could walk into the pub together. As he’d predicted, he was feeling a lot better now, more in control, and not quite as ready to throw himself at her.
Ironically, she looked just as good in tight jeans and boots as she did in a thong and sequined bra, which made no sense, but he made sure to keep his attention on everything except her smokin’ hot body.
“Hey, guys!” Ryder waved as they got inside, and they joined him and the others at two high-top tables they’d pulled together.
“Cassie, do you know Viktor Maslak?” Ryder asked her.
Cassie shook her head. “No. Hi. I’m Cassie Reynolds.”
“Hello.” Viktor was Russian, and though he understood everything and communicated well, his accent was thick.
“We just ordered burgers,” Ryder said. “You guys hungry?”
“Starving,” Cassie said, reaching for a menu.
They ordered a pitcher of beer and food, and Cassie and Ryder started talking about hockey.
“Your goalie is in her own head,” he was telling her. “You can see her starting to tense the second someone comes toward her now.”
“She’s young,” Cassie said. “Barely eighteen.”
“Goalie?” Viktor looked confused.
“I play for the Tudor College women’s team,” Cassie told him. “Our goalie’s had a rough couple of games. She got run over by a couple of players two weeks ago, and they were afraid she had a concussion. Turns out she didn’t have one, but now there’s some residual fear. She’s working through it, but it’s hard. She’s only been a goalie for two years.”
“This school is small?”
Cassie nodded. “It’s a two-year community college, not a four-year university, so we’re tiny and there’s no one else. She really should be a backup right now, learning the ropes, but our former goalie graduated last year, so the current goalie is all we have. We don’t even have a backup, so if she gets hurt, one of us would have to suit up.”
The guys all turned to her in surprise.
“What?” she asked with an impish smile. “This isn’t the NHL, you know.”
“No backup?” Viktor looked mystified. “How is this possible?”
“There is literally no one else,” Cassie said, shrugging. “We’re small, and the better players go to the four-year universities. We get what’s left at Tudor.”
“You cannot borrow from other schools?” Viktor asked.
She shook her head. “No, there are still a lot of NCAA rules in place. It’s complicated. But it’s okay. We have fun. Our season is almost over
, just a few more weeks, and then I’m probably done for good.”
“You won’t play anymore?” Logan asked in surprise.
“I can’t afford to go to school full-time, and practice and stuff is a lot stricter at a four-year school. Plus, I’m old, so…”
“You’re old?” Ryder made a face, laughing. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-four. I’m paying for college myself, no loans or anything, and since I work full-time, I have to go to school part-time. Takes a lot longer that way.”
“Why can’t you take out loans?” Jude asked.
“Because interest rates are a killer these days, and I don’t want to graduate with a mortgage payment in student loans.”
“But if you lived on campus, I think housing is like eight grand a year,” Ryder pointed out. “You probably can’t rent an apartment and pay all the utilities and stuff for that much.”
“Yeah, but it’s only nine months of the year. Then I’d be homeless during the summer. It’s a lot more complicated than you think.”
“I think it’s great that you’re going to school even though you work full-time,” Logan spoke up, somehow feeling the need to defend her. “That’s hard enough, but throw hockey into the mix? You’re truly a badass, Cass.”
“And that’s why she’s Badass Cass,” Jude said, nodding.
Cassie laughed. “I guess there are worse nicknames.”
“It’s better than Nym—” Ryder started to say. Then he coughed, quickly picking up his glass of beer and taking a sip before saying, “Er, better than lots of other nicknames.”
Cassie laughed it off, but Logan had seen the flicker of horror in her eyes before Ryder caught himself. Viktor had been with them the other night, but he either hadn’t noticed, hadn’t been paying attention, or had a really good poker face.
“So, how long have you guys been dating?” Jude asked, looking at Logan.
5
There was a fraction of a second of awkward silence before Cassie and Logan spoke at the same time.
“I don’t date.”
“I don’t date.”
They glanced at each other in surprise and then laughed.
“You don’t date?” Jude asked Logan, his skepticism evident as one brow quirked up.
“I mean, if drinks happen before a hookup,” Logan said, “I guess that’s dating, but that’s as far as it goes for me. Cass and I are just friends, though.” He paused and looked at her. “You don’t date?”
She shook her head. “I’m twenty-four and twice divorced. Obviously, I have no taste or luck with men, so I don’t bother. There’s also the fact that I work full-time at night, go to school part-time, play hockey almost full-time, and the rest of the time is studying. I go out with friends once in a while, or in groups like this, but I seriously don’t have time even if I wanted to. And then, how would I spend time with them if I met someone I really liked? I barely have time to sleep, much less spend quality time with a special person.”
“This is very sad,” Viktor said, frowning. “Dating is fun. I love to spend the time with the women. More than sex.”
“I’m sure I’ll like it, too,” Cassie laughed. “When I’m like thirty or something, but I just don’t have time right now. In fact, I’m going to eat my burger and then I have to get out of here because tomorrow is going to be a really long day. I have a team meeting in the morning, studying, a game tomorrow night, and then I leave straight from the arena to go to work. And I get to do it all again on Saturday.”
“Brutal,” Jude said, shaking his head. “But a beautiful woman like you should make time to relax once in a while, let someone spoil you.”
Cassie flushed. Guys didn’t call her beautiful very often, at least not outside of the club, and that was different.
“Thank you,” she said after a moment. “I’m just focused on getting my degree right now, and having friends is enough.”
“Well, any time you feel like spending time with a nice guy who isn’t just trying to get in your pants, let me know. We can do dinner or a movie or something, no strings attached.”
Cassie smiled at him but realized there was nothing there. No spark at all. Not like when Logan looked at her. Of course, with her track record, it made sense that the nice guy who was interested didn’t do anything for her and the emotionally unavailable one was the guy who made her heart beat faster.
Yeah, this was why she’d stopped dating.
“Thank you. Maybe I’ll have a little time over spring break.” Hopefully, he’d forget about it by then.
“Cool.” He winked.
“Okay, guys, I have to go,” Cassie said after she’d finished eating. “I really need to get some shut-eye.” She dug in her purse to pull out some money, but Logan put his hand on hers, stopping her.
“I got it,” he said. “I think the four pro hockey players can buy the starving college student a burger.”
“As long as it’s not a date,” Jude quipped, laughing.
“Exactly.” Cassie laughed, too. They were all genuinely nice guys, whether she was interested in any of them or not. She wouldn’t have thought that professional hockey players would be so easygoing and fun to be with, but they were. She’d been a little lonely now that Tara was gone and living thousands of miles away. It was a bummer, because aside from her roommate, Deirdre, she didn’t have a lot of friends. Just like she didn’t have time to date, she also didn’t have time to cultivate friendships.
“I’ll walk you out,” Logan said when she grabbed her purse.
“I think I’m okay here,” she said.
“I’m being a gentleman,” he responded, getting up.
She said good night to the others, and they walked outside. This seemed to be a thing with them, him walking her out to her car, and even though there was nothing between them but friendship, it was nice having someone who cared about her safety. She also missed small gestures like this. Having the guys buy her a late dinner was nice, too. Not because she couldn’t afford a burger but because it was so rare that anyone did anything for her.
“Sorry Ryder almost let the cat out of the bag,” he told her.
“He caught himself. It’s fine. And anyway, it’s not a secret, per se, just not something I go out of my way to talk about. I tell people I work at a club, and usually that’s enough information.”
“Well, drive safe,” he said. “We leave on a road trip on Monday, so I probably won’t see you for a couple of weeks.”
“Safe travels and play well,” she told him. “I’ll watch on TV when I’m home.”
He leaned over and brushed his lips across her cheek. “Call if you need anything or if that Bob guy hassles you anymore.”
“I’ll be fine, but thank you.” Their eyes met and his were filled with…longing? She couldn’t quiet decipher the look that lurked behind his bright blue eyes, but if it was anything like what she was feeling, this was a disaster waiting to happen. One kiss and she would be lost to this beautiful man.
She quickly looked away and started the engine.
He nodded and double tapped the side of her Jeep as she put the Jeep in reverse. She pulled out of the parking lot and refused to look back even though she sensed he was still standing there watching her.
The next week was quiet for Cassie. Between working, studying, and hockey practice, she didn’t have much of a social life. She was close to Deirdre and Layne, but she didn’t see much of them. Deirdre was her roommate and a full-time college student and a waitress at a popular steakhouse in town, so she wasn’t around much, either. Layne was a single mom whose mother watched her little girl while she worked, so when she was off, she didn’t have a lot of time for fun.
Lying in bed on Sunday night, though she had studying to do and laundry to fold, Cassie’s mind was going a mile a minute. Her life was better than it had been a few years ago, but it was lonely. Her mom was a hardcore partier who lived about twenty minutes away, but Cassie didn’t see her much because she was always so criti
cal. She didn’t think Cassie should bother with college, she thought stripping was a waste of time, and she never let Cassie forget she was already twice divorced.
Cassie’s dad had divorced her mom when she was ten, and Cassie hadn’t seen him since she was thirteen. She was pretty sure he’d sent money until she was eighteen, but she’d certainly never seen a dime of it, and he’d never contacted her once he’d moved back to Tennessee, where he was from. If you listened to her mother tell it, he’d come to Alaska for a summer job, got her pregnant, and did the right thing, but he’d never been happy. Cassie figured he probably hadn’t been happy with an alcoholic for a wife, but she didn’t remember much about their marriage.
There hadn’t been fighting or yelling, just a lot of crying, and then he was gone. He hadn’t even said goodbye, which hurt more than she wanted to admit, even after all this time. Somewhere in the recesses of her mind, she figured she had daddy issues, which was why she’d already been divorced twice, but she had neither the time nor the inclination for therapy, and she figured she was better off without men anyway.
Her mom was a pain in the ass, but she was all the family she had, so she tried to see her once a month and invited her to hockey games even though she’d only come to one that Cassie could remember. They hadn’t spoken the last few weeks, and Cassie took a moment to put a reminder in her phone to call her tomorrow. They’d undoubtedly argue about something, but she figured if she was lonely, her mom probably was, too. She’d never remarried and had been single for a couple of years now, but Cassie didn’t keep up with her boyfriends.
When sleep still didn’t come, Cassie reached for her phone and opened her fantasy hockey program to check her numbers. She wasn’t doing well this year because she’d mostly picked players she knew from the Blizzard instead of taking the best from around the league, but it was okay. It wasn’t like there was money on the line. She and a handful of her teammates from the Tudor team did it for fun and bragging rights, but she was competitive by nature and groaned as she looked at her scores.