by Kat Mizera
“Hey.” Dani was waiting just outside the door and gave Cassie an understanding smile. The former Olympic champion probably understood Cassie’s frustration better than anyone else and she hugged her. “I know it sucks to end your career on a loss. I’m sorry, hon.”
“It’s okay.” Cassie managed to smile back.
“There she is, Badass Cass!” Ryder came strolling over. “It didn’t end the way you wanted it to, but you were all over the place out there. You really are badass, Cass.”
“It didn’t feel like it so much tonight, but thanks.” She greeted her friends, forcing herself to smile and thank them for coming.
“We’re going to Kendall’s for beer and burgers,” Jude told her. “And you’re coming. I see the look on your face, like everything sucks, but you’re not allowed to go home and do the self-pity thing. So you’re coming with us, even though you don’t think you want to.”
“He’s probably right,” Charli whispered to her. “You need to go out. Miikka and I are going too. I’m starving.”
Cassie grinned down at her tiny baby bump. “Have you entered that phase of pregnancy where you’re always hungry?”
“Unless you have wicked morning sickness, you’re hungry the whole time you’re pregnant. It’s a license to eat!”
They arrived at the pub en masse, taking up the whole back of the bar. They pulled eight tables together, grabbing chairs from wherever they could and ordering a dozen pitchers of beer. There was a lot of laughing and talking around her, but Cassie was in a real funk. She tried to get into the spirit of things, but her head was whirling with self-doubt and disappointment. Normally, she didn’t get depressed like this, but it had been a long, hard week that hadn’t ended the way she wanted it to. Kind of like most important things in her life. Her relationship with her father. Her mother’s drinking. Both her marriages. Somehow, the more important something was to her, the less likely it was she’d enjoy it.
She absently sipped a beer, letting the conversation and laughter go on around her. She’d eat her burger and then make excuses to get out of here because she really had no desire to hang out and was probably terrible company anyway. The only thing that sounded good right now was soaking in a hot bath and reading something entertaining and mindless. A good night’s sleep might snap her out of this bad mood as well.
Hailey, Dani, and Charli did their best to engage her in conversation and she was polite enough to let them try to make her feel better. Nothing was going to make any difference, but she reminded herself she had good friends, if nothing else.
“You look like you’re going to cry,” Charli whispered under her breath in Cassie’s ear. “Why are you so sad?”
“Honestly? I don’t know.” Cassie shrugged, swallowing down a plethora of emotions she didn’t often allow herself to feel. “I’m disappointed about the game tonight, of course, but there’s just been a lot of negatives in the last few years and tonight they caught up to me. I’ll be fine in a day or so. Sometimes I just need to wallow.”
“There’s been a lot of good in the last few years, too, hasn’t there?”
“There has. It just seems like the big stuff is always a disappointment.”
“The big stuff… Like getting your degree, finding a free place to live, getting a job offer doing something you love… That big stuff?”
Cassie sighed. “It’s hard to explain. But really, let’s not talk about it now. I’m going to finish my burger and head home. Mostly I want to sulk in the bathtub and sleep.”
“Sulking never solves anything.” Charli’s blue eyes twinkled, though her words were soft and kind.
“I know.” Cassie squeezed her friend’s hand and then bit into her burger. She didn’t have much appetite, but she tried to eat and keep up with the conversation.
“So I hear you might be coaching the Tudor team next year?” Sergei said to her. “That’ll be a fun gig.”
“I don’t think I am,” Cassie said slowly, wishing he hadn’t brought it up. “I honestly can’t afford to live on what they pay, so I probably won’t take the job.”
There was a startled silence at their end of the table and she noted Logan frowning, but she couldn’t worry about him. Hopefully, he and Ryder would keep their mouths shut about the special tuition deal.
“That’s a shame,” Dani said after a moment. “I think you’d be good at it.”
“I don’t know the first thing about coaching anyway,” Cassie admitted. “I mean, how can I coach these girls when I barely know what I’m doing myself? You know? It’s okay, though. By working and living with the guys, I’ll get my degree in two years and hopefully find a nice corporate job so I don’t have to worry about that kind of thing anyway.” She lifted her hand to the waitress. “Can I get my check please?”
16
Something weird was going on with Cassie. They weren’t best friends or anything, but there was no mistaking the look in her eyes as she’d skated off the ice for the last time as a player for Tudor College. It probably hurt like hell that they lost their last two games, but he and the others had tried their best to cheer her up. Instead, she’d announced she wasn’t taking the coaching job, asked for her check, and left. She’d been polite, but it was obvious she couldn’t wait to get out of there.
A deep instinct, one that he usually only tapped into on the ice, told him she shouldn’t be alone. It was probably the stupidest thing he’d ever done, but after finishing his own burger and one beer, he made excuses and got out of there. Cassie had once told him she wasn’t close to her mom, and for whatever reason, she didn’t appear to be reaching out to her girlfriends tonight, so he didn’t know who else she’d turn to if she needed to talk to someone.
When he pulled into the garage, her car was outside, but there weren’t any lights on. As he walked inside, Coco was in her crate and the only light came from the nightlight above the stove. The sound of someone crying was unmistakable, though, and his heart clenched painfully. Even Coco whimpered a little, as if in sympathy, and he told her she was a good girl as he walked past. But the only thing on his mind was getting to Cassie. He didn’t know what he could do, if anything, but he had to try. She was one of the toughest women he’d ever met, and for her to break down like this, there was more than losing a game on her mind.
His brain was screaming for him to mind his own business, but his heart and his body were on the same page as he headed for her bedroom. The door was open, which was why the sound of her sobs had reached him the minute he got inside, and he only hesitated for a fraction of a second before stepping inside.
“Cass?” He didn’t wait for an invitation, slowly walking over to the bed and looking down at her. “Can I help?”
She shook her head, swiping at her eyes, but she didn’t seem capable of saying anything.
“Would it, um, can I…” He sat on the edge of the bed. “Would it be okay if I hugged you? You look really sad.”
It was hard to see her face since it was so dark, but he could have sworn she whispered, “Please.”
That was all he needed to hear, and he held out his arms as she fell into them. She didn’t say a word, the sound of her crying muffled in his chest, but he wrapped his arms around her and held on tight, unsure what she needed from him. There was pain in the way she clung to him, the way her tears soaked his shirt, and he wished he could do something—anything—to make whatever it was better.
“It’s okay,” he said softly, stroking her back. “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out.”
“No one can fix me,” she whimpered. “My life is a hot fucking mess.”
“Over a hockey game?”
“Over everything. It’s like one step forward, two steps back.”
“What happened, Cass? You want to talk about it?” He gently lifted her chin, staring into her tear-streaked face.
God, there had never been a woman who needed to be kissed more than this one. Moonlight filtered in from outside, glistening on her light hair and adding t
he tiniest hint of shimmer to the tears on her cheeks. She was as beautifully heartbreaking as anyone he’d ever seen and he brushed his knuckles across her cheek, searching her face as he waited for an answer.
“It’s so hard to explain,” she whispered, her lower lip trembling a little.
“Then tell me what you need from me. What can I do?”
She blinked up at him, her lips slightly parted. “I definitely don’t want to talk.”
“No?” His heart skipped a beat as he focused on her eyes, the way she was looking at him.
“I’m so emotionally battered,” she whispered. “All I feel is frustration, hurt, humiliation, anger—make me feel something else, Logan. I need you to make me feel something good again.”
“But—” He started to protest because this wasn’t their M.O. They were friends. Just friends.
She put a finger on his lips. “Just this once. You asked what I needed. That’s what I need.”
Her face was so close to his, he felt her breath against his lips. He was a heartbeat away from kissing her, from taking something he’d been trying so hard not to want.
“Cass, once we cross this line…”
“What?” she asked on a shaky breath. “What happens? We turn into pumpkins? We’re consenting adults and we can have sex with no strings attached, simply because we want to. And god, I need this so fucking much.”
A thousand micro-thoughts zipped through his brain but every one of them was short-circuited by his cock. And his mouth. Because he’d captured hers in one swift but gentle sweep of his head. His lips touched hers and there was no time for romance or tenderness because the second they came together, a fuse lit between them. Her mouth opened and the first taste of her tongue sent his libido into overdrive. He could have come up with a thousand excuses to keep this from happening, but he didn’t give a damn about any of them, because touching her was better than he’d imagined it would be.
She was soft and sweet, muscular and curvy, shy and brazen, all at once. He could have had her flat on her back and been inside of her in about thirty seconds, but that wasn’t what she needed. She needed to feel something, and deep down he knew she meant more than an orgasm. It wasn’t tangible, and he didn’t even know exactly what it was, but he’d do his best to figure it out.
There was no time to figure anything out right now, though. She was tearing at his clothes, at him, as if she couldn’t wait, and with each passing second, neither could he. Her kisses lit a fire in him he hadn’t been expecting. Yes, she was beautiful and sexy, but he hadn’t allowed himself to truly think about what it would be like to be this intimate with her.
And it was fucking hot.
Even hotter was watching her go from a crying, emotional mess to sexy and sassy in about two minutes’ time. He slid up against her, wishing the lights were on so he could see her, but it felt more intimate this way. She needed to feel something, and maybe doing it in the dark like this was the best way, without the distraction of lights. He had a great picture of her naked in his mind’s eye anyway, and this was almost as hot as seeing it.
He knew his way around a woman’s body whether it was dark or not, and hers fit against him like they were made for each other. Her long legs, firm breasts, and tight ass were heavenly and he didn’t waste time. He stripped off her clothes one piece at a time, his mouth only leaving hers when he tugged her sweater over her head.
“I need to touch you, Logan.” Her voice was a whisper against his lips and he nodded, taking off his jeans and boxers. Then they were both naked, bodies pressed together, legs intertwined, mouths fused. It felt so natural to be like this with her, like they’d done it a thousand times before, which made no sense since they’d never so much as held hands until tonight.
They were doing a hell of a lot more than holding hands, though, kisses growing fervent as they touched and groped and explored each other’s bodies. She’d asked him to give her what she needed, but she was taking as much as he was giving. He liked a woman who knew what she wanted and went for it, but he hadn’t been expecting it with Cassie.
Things were happening so fast, and one minute they were kissing and touching and then he was inside of her. She clenched around him, and a long, low moan escaped her.
“Cassie, babe…” His voice was gruff as she tightened around him, drawing him in deeper. “Condom…”
“I’m protected, and I trust you, Logan.”
“Fuck, baby…” This was completely unexpected, but it was all he needed to hear. He hadn’t been bare inside of a woman in a long time, not since he’d been a stupid high school kid, and it was even better than he remembered.
He flipped onto his back and drew her on top of him.
“Ride me, baby. Rock yourself home.”
She didn’t hesitate, her body immediately beginning to gyrate. Her hips moved, her breasts swayed, and the moonlight made her skin translucent. Everything about her was wild and sexy and so fucking hot, he forgot every one of his rules about dating, sex, and everything else. He just wanted more of her. Watching her face as she picked up speed was almost enough to send him over the edge and he gripped her hips, trying to get her to slow down.
Her fingers dug into the hair on his chest and she threw her head back as she came, crying out his name. The feel of her pulsing around him was the last straw and that familiar zing of pleasure raced down his spine. He shot off, though his eyes never left her face; watching her come made his orgasm that much stronger.
She collapsed against his chest and he slid his arms around her, nuzzling her neck.
“Jesus, that was good,” she murmured.
“Freakin’ amazing,” he agreed, stroking her back.
“Sorry if I was too quick. It’s been a while.”
“I was right there with you. Never apologize for hitting the right spot.”
She chuckled against his collarbone.
“Please don’t let this get weird, Logan.” She lifted her head a few seconds later to look into his eyes. “Your friendship is really important to me, but this was…”
“Inevitable,” he said. “It’s been brewing just beneath the surface for us for months.”
“I…know.” She bit her lip.
“Was it what you needed?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Perfect.” He gently pulled out and rolled over, getting off the bed. Then he leaned down and scooped her up.
“What are you doing?” she asked in surprise.
“Taking you to bed, sweetheart.”
17
He carried her into his room and kicked the door shut behind him. She gave him a little grin when he dumped her on the bed.
“Ready for round two?” he asked, heading for the master bathroom.
“Shut up and get over here before one of us chickens out.”
“Well, it won’t be me.” He laughed and disappeared inside. “I’ll be right back.”
The toilet flushed, she heard running water, and then he was sliding in beside her.
“Logan, we should—” she began.
“Shh. We’re about to do exactly what we should do.” He brushed her hair off her face and gently kissed her. “Tell me, what do you like, now that I have time to give it to you?” he whispered softly.
“Everything. Surprise me.”
“Mmm, now that’s fun.” He kissed her some more, rolling her onto her back and lying on top of her. “This time, I get to be in control. Okay?”
“Sure.” She was equal parts mortified and excited. She’d truly had no idea she was going to proposition him until the words had come out of her mouth, and now they were going at it again. In his bed. His room. Their house.
Holy crap, what was happening here? Her body was already betraying her mind, aroused and ready for the next round, and there was no stopping this freight train that had started between them. The sex had been quick but powerful, and the fact that he wanted more told her it had been good for him too.
“You sure you’re good goi
ng with no condoms?” he whispered as he kissed a line around her jaw.
“That ship has sailed,” she said, chuckling. “I meant it when I said I trust you.”
“Ditto.” Then he was inside of her again and she forgot everything but him. He wasn’t moving, though, and her eyes met his questioningly.
“Tell me how you like it,” he said. “Slow, fast, hard, steady… What’s your favorite?”
“Every time is different,” she admitted. “But I’m partial to rough and gritty.”
“I can do that.” He reached down and lifted her legs, bringing them over his shoulders. “You’d better hang on to the headboard, beautiful.” Then he thrust in without warning, bottoming out so hard she grunted.
“Logan…” Her body was already tingling with need.
“Did I hurt you?”
“Nooooo…”
“Hands on the headboard,” he said quietly.
She lifted her arms, realizing that his headboard had vertical wrought iron bars and she grabbed on to two of them with her hands. It was a good thing, too, because he took her harder and rougher than anyone ever had. Every time he slammed into her, she was sure he was butting up against her cervix, and he didn’t let up. There was no finesse to this kind of lovemaking. It was raw and carnal and brutal—and she fucking loved it. Each stroke brought her closer to the edge. He was on his knees, going at her almost ferociously, and this time when she came, she screamed, long and loud.
The world disappeared for a long time, her heart racing, skin drenched in sweat, and Logan’s body covering hers once he toppled onto her. Neither of them moved, and every few seconds another tiny aftershock made them both jerk slightly.
“You sure I didn’t hurt you?” he whispered after a little while.
“Mmm, no. That was…yummy.” She sighed happily.
“Damn, that was so fucking hot.” He nibbled the side of her face. “You’re going to be thinking about me for a few days, I think.”