by Kat Mizera
“There’s a lot to be said for academia.”
She smiled. “Well, I’m meeting with an advisor over at the university in a few weeks to talk about my major and all that, so maybe I’ll bring it up. I honestly never thought about it.”
“You’ve had a rough life,” he said gently. “It’s amazing you’ve gotten as far as you have. I’m incredibly proud of you, Cassie.”
Her heart swelled a little because she liked Coach Azure. His words of praise meant more than they would have coming from anyone else at the college. “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”
“So I guess I’ll ask you again—shall I start the paperwork?”
She chewed her lip but then smiled. “Absolutely.”
“All right. I’ll call you once I have it for you to look at. You’ll have to go through an interview with Human Resources, but it’s just a formality.”
“Thank you, Coach. I mean it.”
He winked.
Though she was dying to tell Logan about her meeting, she headed right to work and talked with Deirdre instead, telling her everything as they prepped for their shift in the back.
“You’ll be an amazing coach,” Deirdre said warmly. “Plus, it’s a paid position and you’ll get that tuition break. I can’t see a single negative.”
“Yeah, I’m starting to warm up to the idea,” she said, grinning.
“What I want to know is, what’s happening with you and Logan?”
Cassie laughed. “I’m not telling.”
“How come? We always talk about guys.”
“Well, mostly I’m kidding, but also, I guess because this one is different. He’s different. I can’t figure him out. On one hand, we keep talking about how it’s just sex, but then he asked me to sleep in his bed, so we can be together when he’s home. He calls me ‘babe’ now, and you should have seen how patient and awesome he was with my mom and her new boyfriend. I don’t get him, or where we’re going with this thing, so I’m trying not to overthink it or jinx it.”
“Friends with benefits is tricky,” Deirdre said, filling up the small tubs of butter they put in bread baskets. “On one hand, sex is the basis for the relationship, but on the other, you’re roommates. Friends. That has all the elements of more.”
“Along with so much potential for disaster.”
“That too.”
“Would you do it? Or, I guess I should say, keep doing it?”
Deirdre didn’t hesitate. “With Logan freakin’ Pelletier? Um, yeah. All day, every day, and twice on Sunday.”
Cassie laughed. “I meant, would you keep going with this friends-with-benefits thing?”
“Same answer.” She chuckled. “But seriously, he seems like a good guy. He’s hot, rich, and athletic. You say he’s great in bed, he’s nice to your mother, and unless there’s something you haven’t told me, he’s been spending more and more time with you. What else is there?”
“A guy who doesn’t go out of his way to say he’s not into serious relationships?”
“Well, there’s that, but also, you say the same thing. It seems like you’re both lying to yourselves, and possibly even to each other.”
“You think?”
“Sounds like it from the outside looking in.”
“What do you think I should do? Just ride it out and see what happens or talk to him about…whatever it is we’re feeling and thinking?”
“I’d wait a little. It’s only been, what? Six weeks?”
“Ish.”
“So ride it out and see what happens, get a feel for what he does.”
“This is scary, Dee. He’s special. And not just because he’s hot and good in bed. There’s more to him than just good looks. He’s kind and helpful. When Coco got hurt, he was there in an instant. When I brought up my mom coming to dinner, he didn’t even hesitate. He’s literally everything I’ve ever been too afraid to want and I’m scared I’m falling too hard, too fast, no matter what I keep telling myself.”
“It’s not that fast since you’ve been friends for a year or two.”
“I’m terrified I’m going to screw it up because I’ve screwed up two marriages already.”
“Logan isn’t them. Those guys were jerks. You didn’t do anything, they did.”
“I know, but—”
“You have to stop with the negativity. Go for it. Enjoy yourself. If he breaks your heart, well, it happens to all of us. It’s not like this is a five-year relationship where you’ve invested a huge part of your life. It’s been two months or whatever. Enjoy it. Live it. Love it. Love him. Because love is awesome and we all deserve some.”
“I love you, you know that?”
“Right back atcha.”
Cassie got home earlier than she would have liked since she didn’t close, but it had been a busy, profitable night, the most she’d made in tips since she started there. Logan and Ryder weren’t home yet so she assumed they’d gone out after the game, and she immediately got in the shower. She smelled like garlic and smoke, a hazard of working in a restaurant, but it felt good to have made good money. If she could have one of the dinner shifts every weekend, those four shifts alone every month would pay all her bills and then some. So all the other days would be for savings and emergencies.
She stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel, padding into her room. She didn’t bother closing the door because she thought she was alone, but movement in the doorway made her jump.
“Hey.”
“Oh! Hi.” She smiled at Logan. “I didn’t hear you come in or I would have shut the door.”
“It’s all right. Ryder isn’t here.”
“They went out?”
“Yeah.”
“And you didn’t go?”
He shook his head. “I was more interested in taking you to bed. If you’re not too tired.”
“Never too tired for that.” She slowly let the towel drop, watching his eyes as they raked over her naked body.
He cleared his throat. “Hold that thought, will you? But before I go all caveman on you, I have a question.”
“Uh, sure.” She was caught a little off guard since she’d assumed he would jump on her the minute she dropped the towel.
“You want to go out to dinner tomorrow night? It’ll be nice to go somewhere and hang out without Coco jumping all over us, worrying about when Ryder’s coming home…”
She stared at him in confusion for a minute. “You, um, want to take me out on a date?”
He shifted, from one foot to the other and back again, as if slightly uncomfortable, but he met her gaze steadily. “I do. I think it’s time we, uh, you know, talk about what’s happening between us.”
“You do?” She was shocked.
“Don’t you?”
“I…yes. I just didn’t want to rush into that conversation. We’ve been having fun.”
“We’re not going out to have a conversation—we’re going out on a date where conversation might happen.”
She cocked her head. “Then I’d like that very much. I’m working lunch tomorrow, so I should be home by four or five. I’ll need time to shower and get ready.”
“I’ll make reservations for seven.” He held out his hand. “And why are you in here? I thought we agreed you were sleeping in my room from now on.”
“I thought just when we had sex.”
He shook his head. “I like having you next to me, Cass.”
Holy hell, what was happening here? How was this possible? They’d gone from fuck buddies to living together beyond the realm of roommates.
“I like it too.” Her voice sounded kind of funny, equal parts shocked and excited, but also barely a whisper.
“Then come to bed with me, baby.”
24
How were you supposed to prepare for a “date” when you already lived together? Logan spent far too long in his closet, waffling between dress pants and a button-down shirt and jeans and a Henley. The restaurant he was taking her to was high-end but c
hill since they knew him there, but he didn’t want to seem like he wasn’t putting any effort into their first official date.
This was the shit that made his life complicated, but he cared about Cassie too much not to genuinely put effort into whatever this was. He didn’t like using the term “relationship,” because you had relationships with everyone. He and Ryder had a relationship—they were friends, teammates, and roommates. Relationship wasn’t necessarily synonymous with romance or dating, so he liked to be more specific. He would never say he and Ryder were dating, so that was his litmus test on word usage.
It made no sense because in the grand scheme of things, it didn’t matter. Relationship, dating, hooking up, whatever word you used, the meaning in this particular case was clear: he was into her. He’d always thought she was attractive, and seeing her play hockey added a level of interest he hadn’t experienced with other women. Seeing her dance at the club had been… What the hell had that been? He didn’t know because he’d seen dozens of strippers dance over the years. Maybe it was because he’d already been into her, and seeing her naked had shown him what he could have if he manned up and got serious about something that wasn’t hockey for once.
Christ, he needed to stop this train of thought. They were going to go out, like mature, reasonable adults, and have a discussion about the potential to take things to the next step.
Which is what? he wondered.
They already lived together. But not officially since they were just roommates.
He closed his belt and slid his feet into dress shoes.
It was twenty minutes to seven and they were going to be late if they didn’t get going.
He stepped into the hall at the same time she did and they both froze.
“You look amazing.” They spoke in unison and then smiled.
She really did look incredible in a tight black dress that had a high neckline, long sleeves, and fell to mid-calf, but it showed off every gorgeous curve of her body.
“I’ve seen you in suits but never just slacks and a button-down shirt,” she said quietly. “This might be my favorite look of yours.”
“Yeah? You like seeing me all dressed up?”
“Almost as much as I like seeing you naked.”
“Well.” He snaked out an arm and pulled her against him. “I’m very much a fan of this dress you’re wearing. Everything is covered but I can picture every inch of your skin beneath it.”
“Uh-huh. That’s the point.”
He kissed her, slow and gentle since they had to go, and then pulled away. “Come on, we’re going to be late.”
“I’m ready.”
He took her hand as they descended the stairs and headed out to the garage. Conversation was lighthearted and fun on the drive to the restaurant and he slid an arm around her waist when they walked inside. The maître d’ knew him and showed them to a lovely, somewhat secluded table in the back. Someone brought a bottle of wine without being told and poured them two glasses.
“I feel very fancy,” Cassie said, lifting her glass.
“I wanted the first date to be memorable,” he admitted. “Too much?”
“Not at all. We’ve already done the hanging out at home in sweats kind of dates, and we have tons of experience getting naked, so this is a fun change.”
“You look a little nervous. Is it me?”
“Nooo…” She drew out the word thoughtfully and then put her wine glass down. “We essentially agreed to a roommates-with-benefits arrangement. Now it’s turning into something else and I’m struggling because I typically have the worst taste in men. And even though we’ve talked about it, I can’t afford for something to go wrong between us that forces me to move out. No, I don’t think you’d make me leave, but if we broke up in a spectacularly sad or angry way, neither of us would want to live together anymore. We can say we’d make it work, but we both know how uncomfortable and awful that would be.”
He nodded. “Absolutely. But I don’t see that happening. I like you. I care about you. I want to…try.”
“Try…what?”
“The whole relationship thing. I hate that word, but you know what I mean. We haven’t given what’s been going on between us a name, but it already exists, so it would be dumb to deny it. There’s sex, but there’s friendship and a shared life and mutual friends. We have most of the same interests, like hockey and good food and animals. And most important of all, I feel like there’s a serious amount of respect and understanding between us. You get me, and I think I get you.”
“You definitely get me,” she murmured.
“So what do you think?”
“Everything you said is true but what changes now that we’ve acknowledged it verbally?”
“I want you to be with me. No more of this guest room bullshit. We’re together…exclusively.” The last word was a little hard to say but he managed and smiled as she cocked her head.
“Tough thing for you to say, huh?”
“See? You totally get me.”
They chuckled and she nodded. “Oh, I think I do.”
“And you’re afraid because you’ve already been divorced twice so you don’t trust your track record.”
“Exactly.”
“One day at a time, babe. This isn’t a marriage proposal.”
“I know. I just…we’re going to tell people and stuff? Like be together at team events and whatnot?”
“Yeah. Why not? At this point, it’s kind of dumb to try and hide it, and it’s not anyone’s business, you know? We’re going to keep doing what we’re doing and live our lives. I’ll do hockey, you’ll start coaching…” He paused. “There’s one thing we have to talk about, though.”
“Okay.”
“I know you understand this intellectually, but I’m not sure it’s sunk in emotionally.”
“What’s that?”
“I can get traded at any time. So you could start school in September and I could get traded the next day.”
She grimaced. “Yeah, I know.”
“Does that change anything between us?”
“Yes and no.”
“Okay.” He frowned slightly.
“If you want me to go with you, then you’d have to pay for me to go to school wherever we move because I’m not dropping out of college after how hard I’ve worked. If that’s a deal breaker for you, then we might as well not take this any farther because my degree is important to me.”
“That is absolutely not a problem. If we’re together and things are going well, I’d definitely want you to come with me. Paying for school is a nonissue. Hell, I’d pay for it now if you’d let me.”
She laughed. “Yeah, not happening at this stage of our relationship. If we have to leave Alaska, then we’ll revisit the conversation.”
“So…we good?”
“You’re a real romantic, Pelletier.”
He grimaced. “Too casual?”
“Nah. I’m teasing.” Her eyes twinkled. “I like casual. I’m not anywhere near ready for all the hardcore serious stuff.”
“Then let’s look at these menus. I’m starving.”
Dinner was fantastic. The food, the wine, the company—probably one of the best meals of his life. In the back of his mind, he’d been a little concerned that something would change between them once they vocalized some of their feelings, but Cassie was as gorgeous and charming as ever. They talked hockey and her potential coaching job for most of the meal, topics they both loved, and then his upcoming road trip.
“Two weeks?” she said, dismay in her voice. “Christ, I’m spoiled with this three-times-a-day sex routine we have going.”
“Me too, but maybe it’ll make us appreciate it that much more when I get home.”
“Well, then we’re going to have to make the next few days as epic as possible so it’ll hold us over.”
“What did you have in mind?” he asked, meeting her gaze across the table.
“Oh, I have an idea for later tonight.” Her smile wa
s filled with mischief.
“Should I be afraid?”
“You should be prepared.”
“Damn, baby, let me get the bill now…”
“Oh, hell no. I’m waiting for that chocolate souffle they put in the oven for us when we got here.”
Logan didn’t know what she had in mind but it was fun imagining the possibilities. Especially when the souffle arrived and she slowly, enticingly used her tongue to lick the chocolate off the spoon.
“Mmm.” She held his gaze as she licked and sucked on the spoon, a smile playing on her lips as she teased him.
“Keep that up and I’m going to throw you over my shoulder,” he growled under his breath.
“Patience, big boy,” she said playfully. “I have a wicked surprise for you later.”
He nearly groaned but he couldn’t take his eyes off her and she never looked away. This was serious foreplay and he was here for it, though he put his credit card on the table to let the waiter know they were leaving sooner rather than later.
When she proffered the spoon filled with luscious chocolate gooeyness to him, his mouth opened on its own and he took a moment to appreciate the flavor assaulting his taste buds. It was incredible but nothing compared to what potentially awaited him later. Their sex life kept getting better and better, so if she had something new up her sleeve, he was ready, willing, and able. Hell, he wanted to get started now.
“Okay.” She delicately wiped her mouth. “That was the best souffle I’ve ever tasted in my life.”
“Do I get a reward for being the one who brought you here for it?”
She laughed. “You were already getting a reward, but now it’s going to be extra special.”
“Are you ready to go?”
“Very ready.”
Logan paid the bill and then reached for her hand as they walked out to his SUV. He wanted to get down and dirty, right here and now, but he could wait. He’d imagined sitting at the restaurant long after they’d paid the bill, sipping coffee and talking. Instead, she’d teased and taunted him all through the meal and now he was torn between slowing down and speeding up. He decided to compromise since it was a twenty-minute drive home. They could talk during the drive and then get crazy once they were at the house.