by Cole Lepley
It doesn’t seem to be working, though. Charlie cheers for Liam when he makes another basket and I give Judah a shove.
He looks at me in surprise. “What?”
I motion to Liam angrily. “You’re supposed to be blocking.”
He gives me a goofy grin, and I grit my teeth. I should have stuck with Hunter.
“Sorry, dude.” He reaches down to the pavement and picks up his water bottle. “He’s actually pretty quick. I’m surprised he doesn’t start much.”
I laugh once. He doesn’t start because I’m the captain of the team. Coach doesn’t want to piss off his star player, and I made it fairly known I can’t stand the guy.
Also petty, I know—but I like to have things how I want them, and Liam needs to learn that he can’t have it all. That’s a privilege reserved for yours truly.
Hunter dribbles over to us with a cocky smirk. “You ready to accept defeat?”
I scoff. “You’re up by two. That will change.” I motion forward with my hand to taunt him. “Come on, hotshot. It ain’t over yet.”
Hunter laughs and tries to dart around me. I smack the ball from his hand and run full tilt down the court to the other basket. After easily getting the lay-up, I toss the ball at Liam and turn to grin at Charlie.
She seems mildly amused but doesn’t smile quite as convincingly as she usually does. Something is off with her. I need to get her alone later and find out what it is.
Getting rid of Daisy was a lot harder than getting rid of Liam. I had to make out with her for at least twenty minutes before she would get in her car. She kept trying to get me to go in the pool with her and whined that it was too early to go home and get ready for the party tonight.
It’s true that it’s only four in the afternoon, but I can’t go to Jimmy’s Saturday night kegger without talking to Charlie first.
She left the courts to go home and take a shower about a half an hour ago. I’ve been pacing along my driveway since she left, trying to come up with what I’m going to say. I get so angry when I think about them together. I’m not talking like as a couple. That’s mildly tolerable. What fucking destroys me is the thought of her sleeping with that douchebag.
I know for a fact that Charlie is a virgin. We played a rather informative game of never-have-I-ever and I learned a few secrets she kept to herself. One of which is the fact that she’s never taken that step. She said she wants to be in love.
That tells me one thing. If she does sleep with him, if she gives that to him—then she loves him. I won’t be able to accept that.
It may sound hypocritical coming from me, and I know that, but having sex and being in love are two entirely different things. Sure, I fuck around a lot, but I’ve never uttered those words. I’ve never come close to feeling them. Not with anyone I’ve had sex with, anyway.
There’s something about the way she’s acting lately though. It terrifies me to think she’s leaning toward love. I haven’t had enough time yet. She can’t fall in love without me.
Instead of sitting in a quiet space and thinking rationally about this, I drink half of a fifth of Jack and stroll over there like I know exactly what I’m doing.
When I stumble slightly on the last step to her bedroom, I second-guess my plan. Her door is closed, but I enter anyway, without knocking.
She gasps when the door bursts open and turns around to scowl at me from her seat at her vanity. She’s gripping a funny-looking sponge extra hard now.
“Jesus, Ollie. Can’t you knock?”
I smirk at her and pull the door closed. “Why, darlin’? Didn’t you want me to see you naked?”
Yep, divert all emotions to sexual innuendo. Always my go-to plan.
On cue, she rolls her eyes and spins back to the mirror. She proceeds to apply an obscene amount of various shades of the same pasty liquid on her face until she looks like she’s ready for a secret, pre-party rain dance.
I take a step forward, awestruck. “What in the fuck?” I streak my finger down her cheek and she slaps my hand away. “What are you doing to your beautiful face?”
Charlie laughs. “This is why I have such a beautiful face.” She eyes me in the mirror while blending the cement-like mixture vigorously into her skin. It looks like it hurts, and I cringe.
“Anyway, why are you drinking already?” She goes on like nothing’s happening. “I thought you said you wanted to drive tonight.” When I don’t respond, she arches an eyebrow. “That’s why you said Liam had to drive himself. Because it was more fuel efficient.”
I can’t help but laugh. It was a really fucking dumb excuse, but I had to come up with something. That moron fell for it, so it’s still a win.
“Oliver,” she presses.
I release a heavy sigh and then sit down on the edge of her bed. I run my hand roughly over my chin and then let out a long breath. “Because I needed to talk to you.”
“Okay,” she says. “About what?”
She asks the question casually yet has no idea there’s nothing casual about it. I have no right to do this. Charlie is happy and I want to be happy for her. I promised her I would be.
But I guess I lied.
“It’s about Liam.”
I pause to gauge her reaction. She’s moved on from working on her face to her eyelids, and appears to be unaffected by my words, so I continue.
“Is he the one?”
She laughs. “What in the hell do you mean by that?” She sets her brush down and spins around in her chair to face me.
I would laugh at the fact that she only has one pink, sparkly eye, but I’m actually feeling kind of sick right now. I take another breath.
“Do you love him?”
She stills for a moment and then shakes her head. “I don’t know. I like him a lot, but neither one of us has said it yet.”
I release the breath that I took and forgot to blow out. Thank fucking God.
“Okay,” I say, a little calmer. “I just wanted to make sure that you weren’t…” My voice trails off when she starts to scowl. “…You know.”
She laughs again, but this time she’s clearly not amused. A dozen emotions cross her face, starting with confusion and finally landing on anger. She folds her arms. “Are you seriously asking me if I’ve had sex with him?”
I shrug and apparently that was the wrong reaction. The noise that comes out of her sounds like a growl. “I hate when you act like this.”
She stands up with another huff and starts to pace in front of her bed. She’s like mad, mad. I decide to stand up too, and walk over to reach for her arm. She irritably shoves me away.
I throw my arms out, because I’m confused as fuck. “Act like what?”
Charlie stops pacing and brushes her long, blonde ponytail over her shoulder. Her eyes narrow. “Do you know what I had to listen to all day?”
I shake my head.
“Daisy explained to me in great detail about the blowjob she gave you this morning and then proceeded to tell me exactly how big your dick is.”
This catches me off guard, but it gives me pause. I purse my lips for a moment before asking the obvious question.
“How big did she say it was?”
Again, this is the wrong response. This time Charlie punches me rather hard in the arm. “You’re fucking disgusting.”
I rub the spot she pummeled and continue to feign innocence. “What? I didn’t ask her to tell you that.”
“That’s not the point,” she says through clenched teeth. “You’ve slept with so many girls I’ve lost count.”
She was counting? Now that has to count for something.
I don’t say that though. I take a step toward her and place my hands on her arms, looking her straight in the eye. “It wasn’t about that for me. I know when you do it, it will mean something.”
She laughs once. “If you’re insinuating that I mean something to you, then you have a fucked-up way of showing it.”
“How can you say that?” I flinch away from her like
she burned me. It’s absurd to me she wouldn’t know.
“Ollie, I am literally last on the list of girls you want to fuck.”
My eyes widen. Is she seriously pissed I haven’t tried anything with her? I’ve only jacked it to the sound of her voice like a thousand times before. Doesn’t mean a thing.
I rub my hand down her arm gently. “You can’t possibly be upset that I never put the moves on you?” I search her face for the tell that she’s lying, but she remains stoic. “You’re so much better than that.”
She huffs a laugh and tries to push me away. I don’t let her, and move my hands to her waist, pulling her closer.
“You’re just saying that,” she whispers.
“No, darlin’. I’m not.” I lean down and kiss her once. Her lips are buttery soft, and I almost go in for more, but I manage to stop myself.
The look on her face when I inch back kicks my heart into overdrive. There’s a lust swirling in those grey eyes I’ve never seen before. Maybe she feels it, too?
I take another deep breath. “I’ll never be the one to break your heart, because I’ll never let myself be with you. You may not believe it, but you’re something so special to me that I refuse to fuck it up.” She opens her mouth to protest, but I don’t stop. “And I’ll do everything in my power to protect your heart, because I have to. I don’t want anything to ever hurt you. Especially me.”
Her eyes get watery around the edges and then she leans into me, pressing her face into my T-shirt. I wrap my arms around her when she sighs.
“I’m not going to sleep with him,” she whispers. Her arms tighten around my waist. “I’m not in love with him.”
Even though this is technically a victory, it doesn’t feel like one. At the end of the day she’s still with him. There may come a time when she can’t say she’s not in love with him. It won’t matter how much I try to manipulate her into waiting for me. Her heart will belong to someone else.
And I’ll only have myself to blame.
Chapter 10
Suffer
Charlotte - Now
I’m rushing down the sidewalk to get to my appointment, my face buried in my phone, so I don’t see where I’m walking. Normally I have the ability to walk and text at the same time, but obviously not today. My heel gets stuck in a crack in the cerement, and I trip forward into something firm.
A deep chuckle washes over me and strong hands grip my arms. “Whoa there, sweetheart.” I peek up into familiar green eyes. “Slow down before you hurt yourself.”
I take in a sharp breath when I right myself and stand face to face with Liam Nickles. It’s been almost five years since I’ve seen him, and the hometown reunions are starting to take their toll on me.
“Sorry,” I say, still flustered. I smooth out the hair that fell into my face and smile. “I wasn’t paying attention.”
He smiles back, and his warmth surprises me. We didn’t exactly end things on good terms in high school.
Liam cocks his head and gives me an appreciative once-over. “Damn, Charlie. It’s good to see you. You look—well, you look really good.”
My cheeks flush. “Thank you.” I motion to his chest, which is much bulkier than the last time I saw it. “You look good, too.”
He nods. “Thanks, I just moved back from Tennessee over the summer. I got a job offer I couldn’t pass up.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?” I ask the question even though I don’t want to get into a deep conversation right now. I’m already late and my main focus is to get this done and get out of here.
“It’s at Central, actually. I’m the new athletic director.”
A laugh sputters out of me before I can stop it. His eyebrows pull in and I quickly backpedal. “I’m sorry, that was rude.” I reach out and squeeze his arm. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just thought it was funny you work with Ollie.”
The casualness diminishes from his features and his lips form a scowl. “You still keep in touch with Monroe, huh?”
The fire is back, burning its way down my neck. I shake my head. “It’s not like that. I only saw him briefly while I was getting my Gram’s house ready to be put on the market.” I nod to the brick building we’re standing in front of, which is my attorney’s office. “That’s why I’m here. I have a meeting with the lawyer, to finish up with the estate.”
His expression softens. “I was sorry to hear about her.” His hand lands on my elbow and he gives it a small squeeze. “I know how important she was to you.”
I nod, swallowing down the residual hurt I feel. It doesn’t matter how much time passes. It’s always hard to lose someone you love.
“Thank you, Liam,” I say, adjusting the strap of my handbag on my shoulder. I glance at the ornate double doors and the back to him. “I’m sorry this is so short, but I need to get in there.”
“Right,” he says, pulling his hand back and then running it through his thick, brown hair. His hair is styled better than Ollie’s. Ollie’s is longer on the top and shorter on the sides, but there’s something about the unplanned messiness that I find myself attracted to.
Liam is silently staring at me now, and I curse myself for thinking about Ollie in the first place. I flash another smile.
“It was nice to see you. I’m glad you’re doing well.”
He opens his mouth to reply but closes it again before speaking. After another moment he takes a breath. I brace myself for what he’s about to say next.
“We should have dinner while you’re in town.”
There it is. I shuffle around on my feet, searching for a quick answer. My time here has been messy enough.
Liam senses my unease and smiles. “No pressure, Charlie. I’d just like to catch up with you.” He laughs once. “You kind of disappeared after high school.”
Yeah, there was a reason for that.
I don’t tell him that, though. He doesn’t need to hear some story about my broken heart that involves the very guy who stole me from him in the first place. Actually, Ollie didn’t steal me—I was always his. It’s just that no one knew.
I take a breath. “I’m only in town for a day or so longer, or I would. I mean that.”
“Sure,” he says casually before turning around to open the door for me. “I’ll be around, if you change your mind. It was good to see you.”
With another friendly smile, I step past him into the law office. “You too,” I say and then make way toward the reception desk.
After exchanging pleasantries, I’m led into the same small office I was in three months ago. It seems larger this time. I remember feeling like the walls were closing in, and how it felt like a struggle to breathe. I was thankful Scarlett was with me, because I’m pretty sure I didn’t hear a word of it.
“Charlotte,” he says, standing up from his desk.
He walks across the room to meet me and extends his hand. I offer mine in return. “Craig, nice to see you again.”
“You as well. Please, have a seat.” Craig smiles and motions to a plush chair in front of his desk before retaking his seat. “I’m glad you were able to come in so quickly. When I heard you were listing the property, I wanted to make sure you were clear on the stipulations.”
My eyebrows furrow. “Stipulations?”
He pulls a paper from his desk and hands it to me. “Yes, your grandmother made a rather peculiar request when it came to the sale of her property.”
I take the stack of pages from his hand and my eyes hurriedly scan the words. It all looks standard—until I get to the last line. The paper crinkles at the edge when my fingers contract.
“Six months?” I exclaim. “What does this mean?”
Craig gives an uneasy smile and folds his hands on the top of his desk. “That’s correct. You have to maintain residence in the home for six months before you’re allowed to put it up for sale.”
I shake my head and utter a stunned laugh. “That’s ridiculous. I can’t live there.” I give the paper a toss onto his desk and hi
s eyes widen. “I have a life in New York to get back to.”
“She allotted a portion of the inherence for expenses while you reside at the property, so long as you stay the entire time.”
I let out an indignant huff. “And if I don’t?”
He shrugs. “Then you get nothing.”
My initial reaction is to tell him to keep the money. It’s not like I’m the one who needs it. I’ve made a decent income off dancing while I was in college, and the studio I work for in New York has been more than generous over the years, but the money isn’t for me. It’s for Scarlett.
She and Evan have been struggling for years to have a child, and fertility treatments have depleted the majority of their savings. This was going to take away that burden and allow them to have the family they’ve been dreaming of for so long. I can’t be the one to take that away from them.
With a heavy sigh, I lean back in the chair. “Why is she doing this?”
A smile appears on Craig’s face and he reaches for the stack of paper again. He turns to the last page and hands it to me again. “I’m not entirely sure, but perhaps this might make sense to you.”
I take a breath and read the words that are damning me to repeat a part of my life I thought I had left behind.
“When it’s gone, you’ll know what a gift love was. You’ll suffer like this. So go back and fight to keep it.” – Ian McEwan
Internally I want to scream because I know exactly what this means. My Gram always believed that Ollie and I were soul mates. She said we were too young and foolish to admit it, but one day, when we were wise enough to realize what we had, we’d come back to each other.
I guess she wanted to make sure I followed through, even though she wasn’t here to see it.
“Well?” Craig prompts.
I look up from the paper, tears clinging to the corners of my eyes. “I’ll see you in six months.”