by Cole Lepley
“It’s nothing,” I say quickly. “We were just talking.”
Ollie isn’t convinced. “Your eyes are red. You look like you’re about to cry, and that pisses me off.” His nostrils flare. “I don’t care if he’s my boss or not—I’ll fuck him up, Charlie. I fucking swear I will.”
“He didn’t do anything.”
Hunter comes up behind Ollie, a beer in each hand. His eyebrows rise when he catches the distress that must be written all over my face.
“What’s going on?”
I look to Liam and then back to Ollie. “Can I talk to you outside?”
His jaw ticks, clearly debating whether to cause a scene or not. Hunter tilts one of the bottles back, downing half of it before taking a breath. They both appear to be on edge, and the added tension from my previous conversation with Liam isn’t helping.
“Ollie?”
I tug on the front of his T-shirt and he finally looks at me again and nods. “Yeah, let’s go.”
He takes my hand, leading me away without any further explanation to anyone. I look back to Hunter as he takes the seat across from Liam. Considering their history and the mood he seems to be in, the two of them sitting together makes me nervous, but Ollie’s walking too fast for me to get a good enough view of the booth.
He leads us out into the parking lot and the cool air is a vast contrast to the stuffy environment of the bar. I still can’t breathe, though. I know I need to tell him, and I’m terrified of his reaction.
Ollie stops walking when we make it beside his truck parked in the corner of the lot. He turns to me, holding my hand between us.
“Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.” He nods over my shoulder. “What did he say to you?”
I shake my head, but he cups my cheek with his hand, forcing me to look at him. “Talk to me, baby,” he says softly, his thumb moving across my skin. “Whatever it is, I’ll make it go away.”
My eyes squeeze closed. “You can’t,” I whisper, and then pull back.
His jaw tenses. “I need you tell me what’s going on. I’m trying so fucking hard here, but I have no idea what I’m trying to make up for.”
Taking a breath, I face the anguish on his face. “There’s a reason for that.”
He lifts his arms and then drops them heavily at his sides. “Then tell me.”
A tear slips down my cheek and I brush it away. Ollie looks horrified, but doesn’t move to comfort me. “It’s because you don’t know what you did,” I whisper. I take a shaky breath. “I never told you.”
His throat bobs as he swallows. “Never told me what?”
I close my eyes, unable to face him. “I was pregnant.”
It’s eerily quiet for a moment, the crisp air blowing my hair across my face. I open my eyes and pull my jacket tighter. The chill traveling through my body.
The wind tosses unruly strands of hair across his forehead, but Ollie stands motionless in front of me. The color drains from his face and his eyes stay unfocused for a moment. He rubs the side of face and then covers his mouth with his hand. “When?”
“I’m not sure. Fall Festival maybe.” I mumble. “I wasn’t far along when I left.”
“Were you ever going to tell me?”
“I don’t know.”
He blows out a forceful breath, dropping his hand to his side. He looks like I just socked him in the gut. It’s very similar to the feeling currently swirling in mine. Any pain I’m causing him ricochets back to me ten-fold.
Ollie takes a small step, the gravel crunching beneath his shoes too loudly. His eyebrows pull in while he searches my face. “You were never going to tell me?”
I shake my head. “I didn’t say that.”
“Did you—” His voices trails off, not wanting to ask the obvious question. He takes a deeper breath. “What happened?”
I tug on the sleeves of my sweater, not meeting his eyes. “I lost the baby shortly after I left.” I glance up and find him staring straight back at me. “It didn’t matter then.”
“Didn’t matter?” His words come out in a strangled whisper. “How can you say that? How could I not want to know?”
“You had a lot going on. I didn’t think it would do any good for you to know.”
“That wasn’t your decision,” he growls. The muscles in his jaw ripple as the anger starts to take over. “I could have done something. Been there for you.”
“That’s the whole point,” I say, and huff a bitter laugh. “You weren’t there for me. Not when I needed you. You wanted to leave and forget about me and anything that I thought we had. Telling you would have forced you to do something you didn’t really want to do. I didn’t want your pity.”
He looks at me like I’ve grown two heads. “Pity? You honestly think that’s how I would have felt?” His fists slams against his chest. “You were pregnant with my child. My fucking kid and you think I wouldn’t care?” He runs his hand over his head, sputtering a laugh. “God, Charlie. Was I that much of an asshole?”
“No.”
“No? Then why?” His tone is too sharp and it catches the attention of a few people loitering outside the bar.
I reach forward and pull him closer. He stumbles a few steps and I clench my teeth. “Lower your voice.”
He shakes his head. “How can you expect me to be calm right now?”
“I don’t want to talk about this here.”
“When?” He gets inches from my face, tilting his head to me. “Huh? How long do I have to wait for you to finally be honest with me?”
“I never lied to you.”
“You didn’t tell me the truth either,” he snaps back.
Red-hot tears prick my eyes. The lump in my throat grows larger, but I swallow it down and wet my dry lips. “I’m sorry. I should have told you.”
“You’re damn right you should have.” He plants his hands on his hips, his chest heaving with a quick breath. “That’s not something you keep from someone you claim to love. That’s not fucking fair.”
“I know.”
It’s a lame response back, but it’s all I have for him. I know not telling him was wrong. I was trying to protect myself, and selfishly I knew it would hurt him if he ever found out.
“So that’s all I get.” He laughs under his breath. “Tough luck, Ollie. You were a dick, and this is what you deserve.”
“No,” I say, finding my voice again. “I regret not telling you.”
He steps closer, his eyes narrowing. “And yet you’ve been back for over a month and still didn’t.”
“I’m sorry—”
“No,” he says, cutting me off. “I’m fucking sorry. I’m fucking sorry that my seventeen-year-old self wasn’t mature enough for you. That you still feel the need to punish me now, for how I acted when I was a stupid, fucking kid.”
My heart thrums faster. “I’m not trying to punish you.”
“Oh, yeah?” he laughs angrily. “What do you call this?” He grips his chest. “Rip my fucking heart out, darlin’. It’s yours to do whatever you want with. You fucking know that.”
The wall of unshed tears breaks like a dam and several spill down my cheeks. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
He takes an unsteady breath and nods once. “Yep. Sounds about right.” He steps past me, but stops above my shoulder. “Run away. It’s what you’re good at.”
Oliver’s footsteps crunch behind me until they disappear across the parking lot. I close my eyes, taking deep breaths through my nose. All the fresh air in the world couldn’t calm my heart.
Chapter 32
All I Ever Wanted
Charlotte - Then
I’m still wearing my crown.
I already changed out of my dress and into a pair of faded, torn jeans and a tank top, but Ollie said I wasn’t allowed to take the crown off. He said I had to wear it all night like the champion that I am, and everyone had to bow down to his girl.
He sounds like an idiot, but my cheeks hurt from smiling
so much. He called me his girl.
Everyone has congregated at Ollie’s family lake house, once again, for yet another epic party. Surprisingly, Liam came, but has been fighting with his date since before the dance. Rumor has it she disappeared with Hunter after Fall Festival because no one has seen either one of them since.
But I’m not worried about that. I’m sitting on the counter in the kitchen and Ollie’s standing between my legs. The majority of our group is gathered around the large granite island in a heated game of flip cup. Ollie isn’t paying attention to that, though. He’s been distracting me by singing off-key versions of every pop song that comes on. He keeps yelling, ‘Alexa! Play something fucking good!’ but so far she hasn’t been too responsive.
When the next song ends and morphs into one with a faster beat, he leans down to my ear. “You having fun, darlin’?”
I nod as he tilts his head back to see my face. He grins and plants a quick kiss to my lips before reaching for his cup beside me. After taking a quick gulp, he wets his lips before setting it back down.
His hands rest on the counter on either side of me, and the muscles in his biceps flex. He smiles. “What do you want to do now? Want to play beer pong on the deck?”
I shake my head slowly, reaching my hands up to loop around his neck. I tug his face close to mine and he grins wider. “I like where you’re going with this.”
“Take me upstairs,” I whisper across his lips.
His eyes widen, but the grin remains. He feathers his lips over mine. “For what reason?”
My fingers twist through his hair as I trail kisses up his neck, stopping beneath his ear. “I want you.”
His body stiffens and I swear I feel him shiver against me. He brushes the hair from my face and meets my eyes, his gaze hesitant. “You sure?” he asks, his voice low.
I bite my lip, suddenly shy about the way he’s looking at me. “Yes.”
He leans in, pressing himself against me tighter, and kisses me hard this time. His tongue tangles with mine and my back arches into his touch when his hands wander along my spine. I lose track of where we are for a moment, succumbing to the warmth of his mouth moving over mine and not giving a single fuck if anyone sees.
Ollie apparently doesn’t care either, as his hand slips down the back of my jeans. I give him one last kiss and break away, patting the side of his face. He gives me a confused look and I laugh.
I lean in, pressing my cheek to his. “We don’t need an audience.”
He grins. “You’re right.” Without another word he tugs me off the counter and leads me down the hallway. I catch a few comments and hoots from the people in the kitchen, but I don’t have time to think about it. Ollie stops abruptly after we round the corner and presses me back against the paneled wall in the hallway.
He kisses me hungrily again, searching my mouth with his tongue, his hands roaming under my tank top. After only a moment, he breaks away, almost gasping for air.
“Are you sure, Charlie?” He kisses me once. “I can wait as long as you want to.”
“I’m asking, aren’t I?” I counter, while running my hand down the front of his jeans.
He tenses and lets out a strangled groan when I wrap my hand around his bare skin. I try not to react to what it feels like to be touching him like this. For as many times as I’ve imagined being intimate with Ollie, I wasn’t prepared for him to have an actual reason to be so cocky.
His eyes are closed when he presses his forehead to mine. “You can’t do that, baby,” he rasps. His eyes flick open and blaze back at me. “I’ll never make it upstairs.”
I give him one last stroke before pulling my hand away and tugging him toward the stairs. We only manage to get up one or two of them before stumbling back into each other, kissing and touching every body part we can get our hands on.
After tripping up the second flight, we land on the third floor. Ollie’s bedroom is the only room up here, and the door has a lock. The music from the party below is a dull hum inside the otherwise quiet loft.
Calling it a loft would be an understatement. It’s more like the most amazing penthouse you’ve ever seen. Floor to ceiling windows line both walls giving the room a lakeside view. The king-sized bed on the other side of the room is made up with plush white linens. It’s much nicer than I expected it to be. For all the stories I’ve unfortunately heard, this is the first time I’ve been in Ollie’s room.
I’ve never been in his bedroom at his main house, either. He’s the one that always comes to me. It’s kind of weird having it the other way around.
He closes the door behind him with a click and then turns back to me. He steps forward, grabbing me by my waist and pulling me against him again.
“Just because we’re here doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind,” he says softly. He kisses my cheek and then my lips. “I could kiss you all night and be completely satisfied.” His hand lands on my ass and he smirks. “As long as you wake up in my bed in the morning.”
Instinctually I want to chastise him for being a perv, but I want that, too. I place my hands on his chest and start to slide them upward, over the ridges of muscle, along the soft stubble on his jawline. I keep going and run my fingers through his messy hair.
“Only if we sleep naked.”
My words cause a low growl to claw through him, vibrating into me. He grips my ass with both hands and lifts me off the floor in one quick motion. His mouth finds mine and he walks us backward through the room until my back hits the mattress.
His hands move down my body until they land on the top button of my jeans. He kisses me once, twice, and then lifts his head to look at my face. “Is this okay?”
I nod, my chest already heaving with labored breaths. I watch him unbutton my jeans and slide them down my legs. He licks and sucks a trail up my calf, landing on my inner thigh. His soft, wet kisses cause me to whimper and he gives a lop-sided grin before pushing himself back up to my mouth.
“I want to go slow.” He nips my bottom lip and kisses me once. “I want you to tell me what you like.”
“What do you like?” I ask instead, running my hands up his back.
Ollie laughs. “Anything.” He nods to his arousal pressed between my legs. “You could touch me anywhere and I’d probably blow my load right now.”
I laugh even though he looks completely serious. If he only knew how close I was, and I’ve never even had sex yet. I’ve waited so long for this moment. I’m not even worried about it being perfect. I just want him.
“I want to touch you,” I say, my cheeks heating up with my admission.
Ollie’s eyes turn darker and he licks his lips. With deft hands he lowers his zipper and releases himself from his pants. He strokes his hand up and down the shaft once, and then reaches for my hand, guiding it toward him.
I wrap my hand around him, and he moves his hand over mine until I get to a rhythm he likes. He groans deeply and then grips the back of my neck, pulling my lips to his. He kisses me hard and it gives me too many things to focus on at once. His soft tongue melting with mine, the thickness in my hand getting harder with every stroke. But what’s most distracting are the sounds he’s making. The guttural moans and the harsh way he says my name is making it hard to concentrate on anything else.
Despite the pleasure it gives me to see him so aroused, I’m nervous. Not because I’m afraid to have sex. I’m fully aware that the first time probably won’t be the most comfortable experience, but mainly it’s my lack of experience that I’m worried about.
It’s no secret Ollie’s been around. Measuring up to his level of perfection is going to be difficult to do.
He must sense my unease because his hand moves from clutching my hip to the side of my face. His chest is slightly heaving when he smiles. “You with me?”
I nod, slowing my pace with my hand. Ollie places his hand on mine to still me, looking up into my eyes. “I really like what you’re doing, darlin’, I won’t lie. But we don’t have to go any
further.” He kisses my lips gently. “I want your first time to be everything you imagined it would be.”
My cheeks flush again and I’m not sure why. I’ve never been nervous in front of Ollie before. I mean, I’ve never been half-naked with my hand on his dick before—but still.
He rolls onto his side, pulling back from me a little. His pants are still halfway on and he hasn’t taken his shirt off yet, so there’s still time to pump the breaks. But I don’t want to.
Feeling bold, I roll him all the way onto his back and climb onto of him. My legs straddle his waist and his erection grinds against the part of my body with the most need. Heat surges through me and I slowly rock my hips over him to test the feeling. His eyes glaze over and fill with a lust I’ve never seen before.
I grab the hem of his shirt, lifting it slowly and kiss my way up to his neck before he pulls it the rest of the way off. His hands are on my chest, palming me through the thin material of my tank top, before it, too, finds its way to the floor. He unclasps my bra next with a skill I’m not sure I want to think about.
Now that I’m practically naked on top of him, the shyness I thought I’d feel isn’t there. It’s the way he’s looking at me. Like I’m the only girl in the entire world he’d ever want to have close to him. I like that feeling.
I try to lean in and kiss him again, but he sits up and flips me onto my back before I get the chance. He pauses before kicking his jeans the rest of the way off and positioning himself above me. He places a soft kiss on my abdomen before sliding my panties down my legs.
My breath catches at the sight of him at the foot of the bed. His statuesque body in all its glory, the sexy smirk on his lips. How could he not know that he’s all I’ve ever wanted?
Slowly, he climbs back on top of me and I take a breath. He kisses my cheek and then my lips before pulling back, his eyes boring into me.
“I wish I had a first to give you,” he says, his voice deep and smooth. He kisses me once more. “I’m just thankful you waited for me.”
I’m afraid to answer because all of the emotions I’m feeling in this moment are too much. It would surely be a mood killer if I started to cry before he was even inside of me. So, instead I grab his face and kiss him hard. I put every ounce of love I have for him into it, and even that’s not enough. He’s my beginning and he’s my end. I’ll never want anyone else.