“Oh,” she said. In that one syllable, he could hear her disapproval. “I guess we could meet here.”
She’d been eager enough to meet him in Vegas, but her invitation to her home territory was decidedly reluctant. Perhaps having a Pardo—part Black, part Native, part Portuguese, a pinch of everything that made up Brazil—with nothing permanent in his life as the father of her child wasn’t something she wanted advertised. But if she was keeping the baby, he wouldn’t be shoved into the shadows.
“I’ll be there tomorrow,” he said, anger making his jaw tight. “And we’ll figure things out.”
Silence on the line. He waited it out. She could offer all the excuses she wanted to—he’d still catch the next flight. Nothing was coming between him and this child.
“Do you need me to get you at the airport?” Grudging, but it was still a victory.
He smiled but kept it from his voice. “No, I’ll rent a car.”
“How will you know how to get here?”
“Your family owns a very large ranch in a very small town,” he said, dry as the Texas town he was stuck in. “I’ll find it.”
He ended the call before she could say anything else.
He let his hand fall to his side, still clutching the phone. The coldness of the wall at his back had begun to seep through his skin, tightening his muscles, but he stayed in place. The discomfort was real. Real enough to anchor him just now.
A father. He was going to be a father.
That seemed completely unreal.
Other riders on the circuit had children. Most of them had left behind wives and kids in Brazil, but Miguel Barros’s kids lived here, on his ranch in Texas. They hardly spoke Portuguese, and Brazil was simply a place their father dragged them to a few weeks a year, during summer break.
They didn’t appreciate the green of the Cerrado—a green that didn’t exist here—vibrant, jewel bright. The grasslands with the gray, short-horned cattle making their way across them, wider than a man’s imagination. Or the glittering emerald waterways of the Pantanal, the sunsets painting them orange and red. And the animals—macaws, monkeys, even the powerful jaguar—no, nothing like that here.
Sometimes he felt as if the sounds, the scents, the colors, the rhythms of that place, that life, were tattooed on his very bones. And his bones ached at being away from them.
Adriano set his fist to his chest, a surge of homesickness turning his lungs to stone. Miguel’s children didn’t feel this when they thought of Mato Grosso do Sul. Brazil wasn’t home to them—only a boring trip that tore them away from their friends and life in America, a place to be endured until they could return home.
If Adriano’s child grew up here, she might be the same. She’d never truly understand what it meant to be Brazilian——the beauty, the richness, the joy of it. He couldn’t let that happen.
And his mother… the kidney disease might take her tomorrow or two years from now. He couldn’t steal his mother’s chance to know this grandchild.
The baby had to go to Brazil. There was no other way. He’d seen some American child-sharing agreements—almost the entire year with the mother while the father got the summers. Two months. He needed more than two months. Two months a year was nothing in a child’s life.
Perhaps Lil would be open to the inverse of that. Most of year with him and the summers with her. Perhaps.
He rubbed a thumb across his chin. He’d have to see how much convincing it would take to get her to agree to that. And in the meantime, he’d care for her, protect her—show her how well he’d watch over their child once it was here.
No lawyers though, that was certain. He didn’t want to involve any lawyers. The Merrills could afford to hire a team of sharks to savage him in court—and a foreigner, trying to steal a child from its American mother? Oh yes, he knew how the courts would rule on that.
No lawyers, no judges. Only him, convincing Lil that his plan for the baby was best.
She was headstrong, independent. She’d give him a fight if she didn’t immediately agree to his plan.
He put on a grim smile. She could fight all she wanted. He rode bulls for a living—he was certain he could tame one stubborn woman. Even one as stubborn as Liliana Merrill.
CHAPTER THREE
Thank God for Pilar.
A fervent prayer on Lil’s part, because this meeting would have been much, much worse without Pilar’s calming influence. Pilar’s sweet tones could soothe the beast—the beast being Lil’s older brother, Benedict. That was probably why Benedict was going to marry Pilar one day.
The three of them, along with her other brother, Luke, were sitting in Benedict’s office in the resort, the one from which he ran the family enterprise. An enterprise encompassing one of the largest ranches in southern California and a luxury resort. Lil might run the stock operations and Luke the hotel, but Benedict ran all of it.
He wasn’t running anything now. He sat behind his desk, staring worriedly at her while Pilar hovered over his shoulder. Luke had propped himself against a wall, arms crossed, his forehead knit with concern. Lil sat across from Benedict, feeling like she’d been called into the principal’s office.
Just tell him. The longer you wait, the more freaked out he’s going to get.
But she couldn’t quite find her voice.
“Lil has something important to tell you,” Pilar prompted, setting her hand on Benedict’s forearm.
“I know that,” he growled. Not that Benedict was mean, but he carried a lot of responsibility, so he tended to leave off the pleasantries. “So what is it?”
Her tongue sat flat and numb against her clenched teeth.
When she’d called her parents—just after Adriano had insisted on coming and then hung up on her, the jerk—they’d been cautiously happy. Although she had heard her mother whoop in triumph before she’d hung up the phone.
Lil hadn’t been too worried about her parents, not really. They loved her and all her siblings, loved them fiercely, but they’d always expected their children to be independent, to bear the fruit of their own decisions—sweet or rotten.
So they’d be happy grandparents and leave all the fretfulness off since it was Lil’s burden to bear. Besides, Lil was bringing into the world a new Merrill, a new generation to carry on their traditions. That was always a happy thing.
She wasn’t too worried about Luke’s reaction either. He’d huff and puff and threaten to blow Adriano’s house down—which didn’t even exist; yet another headache—but Luke would come around in the end. Look at how she’d convinced him to go ghost hunting in the barn loft when they were kids, or to play white-water rescue in the creek. Or the time they’d decided to climb as high as they could up the old oak, trying to touch a cloud. Luke still had the scars from that one and loved telling the story—especially to an interested lady.
Yeah, Luke would come around. But Benedict… He was old-fashioned. He had ideas about how people should behave—how his siblings should behave most of all.
When Josh was convicted, Benedict hadn’t budged an inch in his anger. Having a baby out of wedlock wasn’t even close to nearly killing your girlfriend in a drunken wreck as Josh had done—but it still wasn’t Benedict’s idea of how people should behave.
Hell, for all that he and Pilar made googly eyes at each other, they hadn’t moved in together. Waiting for a white wedding and all that.
Liliana wasn’t getting a white wedding. Not that she’d ever wanted one.
She blew out a breath. Right. Time to confess.
“Remember when I was at the NFR a few months ago?”
“Yes.” Drawn out, as if Benedict was trying to sense where she was going.
“There was a man there.”
Benedict’s ears went red. “I probably don’t want to hear the rest of this, do I?”
No more than she wanted to say it to him. But it was too late to shut the barn door—the horse was already loose.
“Probably not.” Her voice caught as he
r cheeks heated. “I uh…” Ah, hell. Just say it. “I’m pregnant.”
Benedict’s ears went from red to bone white, along with the rest of his face. “What?”
There it was. His older brother’s about-to-open-a-can-of-whoop-ass voice.
Luke pushed off from the wall, his fists clenching, and let out… a growl. He honest to God growled.
Lil’s stomach twisted—and not from morning sickness. But she’d admitted it. Now it was all over but the shouting.
Pilar patted Benedict’s arm. “You know where babies come from, dear.”
Benedict’s frown eased and he laughed. Actually laughed.
Thank God for Pilar. The knot in Lil’s stomach slipped loose.
Luke’s frown changed into something closer to resignation, although he didn’t laugh. But Lil knew that look of his. It would be okay.
“I know you’re upset,” Lil began.
“Yes.” Gruff, rather than harsh, from Benedict.
“I know you’re disappointed.” Best to get that one right out in the open.
He frowned again. “Disappointed? No. I only want to make sure you and the baby have everything you need.”
“We’re here for you, Lil.” Luke had dropped his arms and his tough-guy act. “Always. Whatever you need.”
She rubbed at her nose. She knew her brothers loved her, but sometimes when she got new proof of it like this, it could make her teary. She cleared her throat. “Thanks guys. We’ll be fine.”
Benedict actually smiled. “We’ve always got your back. Even if we wish this had happened a little differently.”
“Me too.” She shrugged. “But it is what it is now.”
“Did you tell Mom and Dad yet?” Luke asked.
“Yeah. I think the promise of grandkids outweighed any disappointment. Josh…” Josh was a tricky subject around Benedict. But he was still their brother. “I’ll tell Josh when I visit him next.”
The trip north to see Josh in prison was a long one, and she couldn’t just drop in whenever she wanted. Telling him over the phone seemed a little cold, but maybe it would come to that.
Luke blew out a wry breath. “I’m gonna be an uncle. Another little Merrill running around.” The ends of his mouth tipped up. “He’s gonna get into all the same shit we did. And he’ll be a steer wrestler.”
“The hell he will,” Benedict said. “He’ll be a roper.”
Lil rolled her eyes. “And maybe she’ll do whatever she wants and not have her uncles push her into stuff.” But she was smiling. The baby wasn’t even here, and the family was already welcoming him or her with open arms.
“She can run the bull-breeding operation once she gets old enough,” Benedict offered.
If the bucking-bull project was still viable by then. But Lil wasn’t getting into that just now.
And speaking of bulls… they’d never asked about the father.
Pilar wanted to though. Lil could see the question pushing at her lips.
“So you guys are probably wondering about the father,” Lil got out with fake enthusiasm.
Benedict snapped back into being a disapproving older brother, and Luke slipped into the role of tough guy.
“Who is he?” Luke demanded, clearly wanting to know so he could send a fist into the guy’s face. Great.
“He’s not from here,” she hedged. “I don’t know if you guys have met him.”
Benedict raised an eyebrow. “He doesn’t live in Cabrillo?”
How much had Benedict heard of the “Tiger Eyes” story? Hopefully not much. “No. I actually met him in Vegas.”
A deep inhale from Benedict told her that the picture was becoming clearer. He knew the kind of men she liked to hang out with there. “Do I know him?” The older-brother warning tone was back.
“You definitely know of him.” She put some fake sunniness into her voice. Here it was. “He’s Adriano Silva.”
Benedict’s jaw began to clench. “Yeah, I’ve heard of him.”
“Motherfucker,” Luke breathed.
Okay, so they had heard of him. Probably not good things. Although, she’d never heard anything particularly bad about Adriano, only the typical bull rider’s stories, and she was closer to the circuit than her brothers.
“Does he know?” Benedict asked.
“I talked to him last night.” Hearing his voice yesterday had made her heart flutter. And the rest of her too. The velvet rasp in his voice had proven that he remembered her fondly. Remembered and perhaps hoped for more. But probably not the more she’d given him.
After that, his voice had been all firm command. Adriano was going to force himself into the picture, whether she wanted him there or no.
He was the baby’s father, so probably best not to think of it as forcing. But it had felt like that.
When he’d said that he didn’t have a place here in the US—not even an apartment—panic had flared in her. Because if he hadn’t put down roots here, he might be planning to return to Brazil.
One more thing to discuss with him.
Benedict was shaking his head. “You shouldn’t have done that. Let the lawyer talk to him first.”
“Yeah,” Luke put in. “You don’t need this guy. You’ve got money, you’ve got us—you don’t need him. Or to deal with him if you don’t want to. Let the lawyers work everything out—custody, visitation. You don’t need the stress of face-to-face stuff. Not with a baby on the way.”
Benedict was nodding along while Pilar looked mildly worried.
Lil nibbled on her lip. It would make things so much easier to let the lawyers handle everything. Especially after his surprising insistence that he come out right away. One call to the family attorney and she’d have a safe distance between her and Adriano Silva. A comfortable distance.
But she’d just had to make things harder on herself. Not to mention that it would be wrong.
“It’s okay,” she said. “There’s no need for lawyers yet. We’ll discuss it like rational adults and come up with a plan. I doubt he wants to raise a kid by himself. He’s coming out today, and once he sees this place, he’ll agree staying with me is best for the baby,” she said with only half-faked assurance.
She’d wanted to meet with him somewhere else, or better yet, hash it out over the phone so that when she told her family everything would have already been settled. She could have said, See? We’ve already got it all worked out. Instead, she was fumbling before them like an idiot. And now she’d have to work out everything with Adriano under their noses. Blech.
“What do you want, Liliana?” Pilar asked gently. “Not what your brothers insist on, not what you think you should want… What do you really want?”
Good question. Too bad she didn’t have an answer. “I’m not sure. He seemed very committed on the phone.” Too committed for her comfort. Too demanding. She was only just getting used to the idea of having a baby. Adding a man into the mix… Well, she needed a little more time. Not that she was going to get it.
“Whatever you decide,” Benedict said with firm conviction, “we’ll support you.”
Pilar nodded, the both of them wearing expressions of steady support and concern.
Luke’s expression was about the same, but with a hint of grudging sheepishness. “Me too. But if you want him gone, only say the word.”
Her throat started to close, so she went round the desk to hug Benedict as tightly as she could. He could be crabby and stern and play I’m the eldest, hear me grump a lot, but he was first and foremost her big brother. And she loved him for it.
Then to Luke for an even tighter hug and quick pat on her back. God, she loved the both of them. And the baby would love them too. So, so much.
A final hug with Pilar, and then Lil was sitting back down, wiping at her eyes. “Thanks guys. Really, it means…” Her throat closed too tight for her to finish that.
“Of course.” Benedict nodded, his expression going grim. “When your—” His mouth twisted as he searched for the right word.
“When he gets here, send him to talk with me when you’re done.”
Great. So much for Benedict taking it well. She tilted her head, blew away the last of the tears. “Benedict, don’t do anything crazy. I can handle this on my own.”
“I don’t do crazy,” he said. “It’ll only be a little chat with me and Luke.”
Pilar raised her eyebrows behind Benedict, as if to say Fat chance.
Luke pulled up a shit-eating grin.
Lil groaned. Benedict and Luke double-teaming the poor guy? Adriano might have been too pushy on the phone, but he didn’t deserve that. “Benedict, I know why nobody would date me in high school. Please don’t do this.”
“Nobody would date you in high school because all the boys were scared of you. You were tougher than they were, and you never took any shit.”
True. And not taking any shit definitely made it hard to date. Not that she’d ever been really interested in relationships.
“It’s going to be hard to work things out like adults if he thinks my family are assholes.”
Luke laughed. “Good. Let him think we’re assholes as long as it keeps him scared.”
“I only want to feel him out,” Benedict said. Pilar gave him a look, one he could see this time. “And let him know that Luke and I are looking out for you,” he confessed.
Ha. As if their talk would be that innocuous. “I think Adriano will figure that out on his own.” A couple of glares from her brothers would get the point across right quick.
She sighed. Whatever. If Adriano couldn’t handle a talk with her brothers, maybe he shouldn’t be too involved in the baby’s life. Because she and the baby and her family were going to be a package deal. Love the baby, love my brothers.
Her phone buzzed. She fished it out of her back pocket, her heart stepping double time when she read the message.
“He’s here.” Breathless and giddy as a girl getting asked out to prom. She took a deep breath. Steady. Be chill.
Time to go hammer out exactly what kind of a co-parenting relationship she and Adriano Silva would have.
He was waiting for her in the front courtyard, his back to her as he studied the fountain there. From this angle, he looked pretty much like any cowboy. White straw Stetson, dark blue button-down shirt, crisply ironed Wranglers, battered and dusty gear bag slung across his back.
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