by Lopez, Rob
Dee stared into space, only stirring when Jacob wriggled in his confined space, mewling weakly for his milk. Absently, she moved his head to her breast, feeling her heart beating fast.
The circling shark had disappeared into the darkness, but she knew it was there, always there.
It was simply a matter of time.
*
“He’s back,” said Scott. “And he’s got his friend with him.”
From the sixth-floor window of the office block, he observed the two figures emerge from the Walmart Supercenter on the other side of the highway. Everybody who staggered down Highway 74 stopped at Walmart. It simply beckoned to them, in spite of having been comprehensively looted. Every store, tire center and gas station had been stripped clean by the foot traffic on the highway, but still they traveled along it, taught by habit that the only way to get anywhere was by the highway, and the distant towers of uptown Charlotte drew them on.
It was undeniable that the traffic had increased, however. All morning, Scott and Rick had watched disconsolate groups and individuals coming out of the east. Many were armed, in one way or another, and they frequently glanced behind. They didn’t spend a lot of time looting. Haste seemed to be the order of the day. The two individuals coming out of Walmart were no exception. With a cursory glance at other buildings, including the office block that Rick and Scott were using as an OP, they headed west, following the mush of footprints with barely a thought to how they could maximize their scavenging.
“Something’s driving these people,” observed Scott. “And it ain’t just hunger.”
Rick didn’t reply. He was slumped in a chair, his eyes dark and his face haggard and pale. Bringing his sleeve up to cover his mouth, he broke into a fit of coughing.
Scott had already told him he shouldn’t have come, but he knew Rick was stubborn. The only way to convince him he was ill was for him to prove it himself, so Scott didn’t bother to mention it again. It was dangerous, though. Janice had already caught the flu, and had been confined to a curtained bed in the boardroom. If Rick insisted on behaving as if he was fine, he risked spreading it to the whole group. In the moldy, cold clubhouse, that made for a bad prognosis. In the current circumstances, it could prove fatal. It was no longer a matter of taking a few days off work and getting bored watching daytime TV. Previously tamed by civilization, the flu virus had returned to its historical role as a deadly killer of millions.
“We’ve seen enough,” said Scott. “Time to be getting back.”
Uncharacteristically, Rick didn’t argue. He didn’t have the energy to. When the coast was clear, they descended the stairs and passed under the highway bridge, making their long way back through the suburbs. Rather than alternating roles in a bounding overwatch, Scott took point all the way. In terms of tactical awareness, Rick was getting sloppy, and again he didn’t argue about being led. He was on his last legs by the time they reached the clubhouse. Wearily, Rick unslung his carbine, and Scott took it off him.
“What are you doing?” asked Rick.
“Relieving you of command,” said Scott. “Temporarily.”
Lizzy ran up to give her father his usual hug, but Scott caught her and pulled her back. “Not today, honey. Your daddy’s sick, and you don’t want to catch it. Go fetch your mom.”
“I’m okay,” said Rick, leaning heavily against a pillar. “I just need to rest.”
“Damn right. Bed rest. And plenty of fluids. Unless you want to spread it to the rest of us. Give it up, man. You’re done.”
Lauren appeared at a run, concern on her face. “What happened? Are you okay?”
“He’s fine,” said Scott. “Just ill. I need you to convince him to get his ass up to sick bay, because he don’t listen to me.”
“That’s not true,” murmured Rick.
“You know it is. Lauren, convince your husband to go check himself in.”
“Alright, alright. I’m going,” said Rick irritably.
Lauren went to take his arm, but he shrugged her off. “I can get myself up there,” he said.
Lauren pursed her lips as he staggered off, but Scott said, “It’s better he goes himself. You need to isolate him. We’ve got two down already. No need for you to get ill too.”
“This is serious. What do we do now?”
“Get Sally on the case. It’s her damn job. We’ve got some pool shock down in the basement. We need to sterilize the boardroom, and maybe door handles and stuff. Could do with some surgical masks too. As long as it doesn’t spread, we’ll be fine.”
“I think I’ll light the wood burner. It’s too cold to be managing without it.”
“That might be true, but I wouldn’t light it before dark, even with this. There’s a lot of folks on the move out there.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’ve got an exodus of refugees coming out of the east. Been watching them all morning. As soon as I’ve eaten something, I’ll take April out on another patrol. We need to watch our borders now.”
Lauren pulled a face. “Uhhh, taking April might not be a good idea.”
Scott caught the look. “She sick too?”
“Not exactly.”
Scott turned and bounded up the stairs, hurrying to his room. He found April sitting cross-legged on the mattress, head down. Skidding across the floor, he dropped to his knees before her. “Honey, are you okay?” he said breathlessly.
April lifted her head, tears tracking down her cheeks. “Yeah,” she said meekly.
Scott gathered her in his arms, thumbing away the tears. “Jesus Christ, tell me what’s the matter.”
April lifted up a plastic tester, the blue line clear in the middle. “I’m pregnant,” she said.
Scott was struck dumb for a moment.
“Look, you don’t have to … ” she began.
She never got to finish her sentence. Scott lifted her up off the mattress and, cradling her in his arms, danced around the room, hollering and laughing like a crazy loon. Daniel, who’d waited in mute anticipation, leaped up and down on the mattress, giggling. He had no idea what the fuss was about, but who cared?
Scott stopped, looking into April’s eyes. “Them things are accurate, right?” he asked her.
April’s ribs were hurting. “I think so,” she said, bewildered.
Scott spun her around again.
“Oh my God, stop!” she laughed.
“Gonna have to,” said Scott, laying her down. “I’m getting dizzy.”
“Oh my,” said April, hugging her belly. “If I thought you were going to react like that, I’d have gotten myself ready.”
“You thought I was going to react any different?”
April caught her breath. “A little.”
Scott threw himself down next to her. “Are you kidding me? We’re going to have a baby.” Scott couldn’t help grinning.
April raised an eyebrow. “Oh, you think it’s yours?” she said in mock seriousness.
“Damn right.”
April’s face softened. “Don’t you have doubts about anything?”
“Nope.”
“I mean, we’re living in a crazy world now.”
“I don’t care. World’s always been crazy.”
“I’m scared, Scott. What if something happens to the baby?”
Scott placed his hand on her belly. “The only thing that’s going to happen to our baby is that it’s going to grow up good and strong. It’s got you and it’s got me. It don’t need nothing else.”
“It’s got me too,” said Daniel, squeezing in between them.
Scott laughed and mussed his hair. “We can’t lose. And this is the best time too.” He poked his finger playfully into Daniel’s chest. “You know why?”
“No. Why?”
“Because in three days, it’s Christmas.”
“Oh my God, I forgot,” said April.
“Then get ready, because this is one Christmas you’re not going to forget. Ever.”
34
Christmas day brought chill gusts. Warmer temperatures and rain had melted much of the snow, but the wind made everything feel colder. The insides of the windows were permanently covered in condensation that dripped off the sills and formed puddles on the floor. Curtain fringes were black with mold, and the odor of mildew, rot and sawdust filled the corridors. Closer to the boardroom, however, the smell of chlorine overpowered everything.
Lauren slipped through the nailed-up drapes that cordoned off the end of the boardroom, hiking her surgical mask over her nose. In the small space, Rick and Janice lay on raised cots, tended by Sally.
“How can you stand this smell?” said Lauren. “It’s enough to make my eyes water.”
Rick, with a glass thermometer in his mouth, gave her a critical look but said nothing until Sally removed the thermometer.
“I can’t smell a thing,” he said.
Sally took a reading. “Still over a hundred. You’re not ready to go anywhere yet.”
Rick said with disgust, “I’m not achieving anything here.”
“You’re still contagious,” said Sally firmly. “You’re achieving containment. Be happy with that. It’ll be another three days before you’re ready to move around, and that’s only if you make progress.”
“You need to rest, darling,” said Lauren sympathetically.
Janice lay with her eyes barely open. She’d aged considerably, and the bubbling from her lungs as she exhaled was clearly audible.
“I know it’s tough for you guys,” continued Lauren, “but I’ve got something that will cheer you up.”
She pulled back the drapes to reveal a boardroom bedecked with Christmas decorations. The wood burner had been lit, filling the room with warmth, and tinsel hung from the paintings twinkled in the light. A Christmas tree had been erected in the far corner and decorated with baubles. Stockings and glitter angels lined the walls, and a large LED reindeer yard decoration took up another corner, though it was unlit.
“Oh my,” murmured Janice as she beheld the sight.
“I could hear the activity,” said Rick, coughing. “I thought you guys were busy doing something. Where’d you get all the decorations?”
“In just about every basement and garage. But wait till you see what else we’ve done. Everyone’s put a lot of work into this.”
Rick groaned. “You haven’t decorated the outside as well, have you?”
Lauren narrowed her eyes. “Rick Nolan, I swear you think we’re all stupid. No, we haven’t decorated the outside.”
“What’s the security situation? Have we got any more information from the patrols?”
“None that I’m going to disclose to you. I’ve left that side of things to Scott, and you don’t need any more things to worry about.”
“So it’s getting worse, then?”
“Honey, you’ve got to relax and have faith that we know what we’re doing. It’s Christmas day, and I want you to enjoy it.”
“Yay,” said Rick without enthusiasm.
“Oh tush,” said Janice. “Lighten up.” She laughed and then fell into a fit of chesty coughing.
“It’s better if you stay quiet,” said Sally gently. “Conserve your energy.”
“Yeah, don’t worry about anything.” said Lauren. “Today, we’re bringing Christmas to you. Whether you want it or not,” she added with a pointed glance at her husband.
*
For Lizzy, it was a magical moment. She loved Christmas, and it seemed perfectly natural to celebrate it, regardless of the circumstances. Christmas wasn’t just a day to be created, it was a law of nature. It came of its own accord. She knew this wasn’t quite true anymore, as she’d taken part in making this one happen, whereas before it had kind of arrived, with the preparations all hidden. In the austere atmosphere of the clubhouse, for all its grandness, it looked for a moment as if Christmas could not possibly happen. The surroundings were too alien, cold and uncomfortable. The effort required to create a festive zone within these somber shadows showed her, for the first time, the will behind the celebration. The determination. It wasn’t the adverts on the TV, or the changing window displays that ushered in the next festival on the calendar. It was because people wanted it.
Where exactly Santa and the elves got involved in all that was a question she left unanswered.
Finishing up the drawing she was working on at the ballroom table, she gathered up her papers and began bagging her pencils. Josh was at the same table, cleaning his rifle. He always seemed to have one rifle or another now, and, in Lizzy’s eyes, seemed taller and more grown up than she’d ever seen him. He wasn’t quite the same brother she remembered.
“Are you looking forward to the dinner?” she said.
Josh shrugged. “It’s food.”
Lizzy tried to elicit a more involved response. “I got you a present.”
Josh glanced up. “You’re supposed to keep things like that secret.”
“It’s in the stocking by the deer.”
“Uh huh.”
“Did you get me a present?”
“You’re not supposed to ask that.”
“But did you?”
Josh shrugged again. “I might have forgotten.”
“Josh!”
“I’ve been busy, okay?”
“That’s no excuse.”
“Will you quit sounding like Mom.”
“You promised!”
“When?”
“You promised you’d always look after me and always buy me a present.”
Josh twisted his features in confusion, as if trying to remember when he’d ever said such a thing. Then realization dawned on his face. “That was a long time ago,” he said quietly. “Lot’s changed since then.”
“You’re still my brother, Josh.” Lizzy bit her lip. “Aren’t you?”
With a pained expression, Josh looked up. “I am, sis. It’s just that everything’s gotten kind of weird.” He scratched his temple. “I don’t feel the same anymore.”
Lizzy didn’t understand what he meant by that. “It’s Christmas,” she pleaded, as if that was all that was needed.
“That doesn’t feel the same either.”
“But it is. You’ll see.”
She looked into Josh’s eyes, still pleading with him, and caught a glimpse of a struggle that was beyond her comprehension. A brief spark that was quintessentially Josh appeared, however.
“Okay,” he said grudgingly. “I’ll keep my promise.”
Lizzy beamed. “It’s all set then,” she said, bounding gaily from the room, papers clutched to her chest.
*
Scott was in his room, finishing up the stitching of a red arm to a red jacket. Josh hastily knocked on the door and, before Scott could hide the jacket, came dashing in.
“Dude, you’ve got to help me,” said Josh.
Scott raised an eyebrow. “Dude?”
“Scott,” corrected Josh. “I need a present for Lizzy.”
“Kind of late to be asking that now, ain’t it?”
“I know. I forgot all about it.”
“You forgot your kid sister’s Christmas present?”
“My mom used to help me with stuff like that.”
Scott gave him a level stare. “And now you’re blaming your mom?”
“Oh come on. Don’t give me a hard time.”
“Why not?”
“You’re a guy. You understand. Help me out.”
Scott gazed at him for a while. “Wait, you think me being a guy makes me part of your gang or something? Do you consider yourself a guy?”
Josh was confused. This wasn’t the reaction, nor the Scott, he expected. “Yeah … well, no … well, you know what I mean. I’m not a kid anymore. I go out hunting now. I do the same things you do.”
Scott looked bemused. “And that makes you a man, does it?”
“Well, duh,” declared Josh.
He regretted his attitude immediately.
“Let me tell you what it means to be
a man,” began Scott. “It ain’t got nothing to do with wearing camos, carrying a gun or swaggering about, drinking or whatever. The day you become a man is the day you take on responsibility.” Scott resumed his sewing. “I had a brother. He was an asshole. He never grew up – always whining, begging and blaming others for everything. He taught me to grow up, because I didn’t want to be like him. That don’t make me glad he was my brother, though. Let me ask you a question. Do you love your sister?”
“Well, yeah,” said Josh awkwardly.
“Prove it.”
“What?”
“Prove it. A man who can’t prove his word ain’t a man. Get your kid sister a present and quit making excuses.”
Josh stood by the door, stunned.
“You know you ain’t got long, right?” remarked Scott casually.
Josh stared a little longer, then ran out the door.
*
Lauren set the places at the table, knives and forks laid out symmetrically. April did her best to fold the napkins into some kind of pleasing arrangement, but failed utterly, settling instead for basic triangles. Chuck fried the day’s dinner on the stove. It was meant to be goose, and Scott had set out with Josh early in the morning with the intention of getting one, but there were no geese to be had. Instead they returned with a ten-pound catfish. It wasn’t much to share between them all, but supplemented with Chuck’s vegetables, it made a change from the usual fare.
“Where’s Josh?” asked Lauren.
“I don’t know,” said April. Daniel came running past, and she caught hold of his arm. “No running in the boardroom,” she admonished.
Full of excitement, Daniel held a sheaf of papers to his chest. Lizzy appeared behind him, holding the same. “Come along, Daniel,” she said primly, marching proudly forward. Daniel dutifully fell in step behind her.
Watching them, April said to Lauren, “She’s like a little mom.”
Lauren looked up. “God help us all,” she said.
Lizzy and Daniel approached Rick and Janice’s cots, keeping a respectful distance.
“We come bearing gifts,” stated Lizzy seriously. She and Daniel unveiled their drawings, holding them up for Rick and Janice to see.