by Hamel, B. B.
I have to bite back the tears. I have to bite back the sheer joy that rips through me.
“I love you too,” I whisper.
I throw my arms around him and we kiss, finally we kiss, for real, with all the secrets we’ve been keeping laid bare, with nothing between us but love and hope and the future.
We kiss for what feels like a long, long time.
I don’t know what’ll happen. I don’t know when I want to introduce him to Nova or how we’ll even do it.
But I know he means this for real. He gave up something incredibly important for me. The SEALs, the military, that was his life. He defined himself on those things.
It’s so obvious how important it all was to him, but he’s giving it up. He’s a warrior, a fighter, but he’s staying here for me.
He loves me. He wants to be a father.
I don’t know how I got so lucky.
Slowly the kiss breaks apart.
“Are you ready for this?” I ask him softly. “It’s not easy.”
He laughs and kisses me again. “I love a challenge,” he says.
I hug him and he holds me tight and for the first time in a very long time, I feel complete, hopeful, happy, perfect.
13
Lily
Two Years Later
Nova runs up to Abel and he scoops her up into his arms. “Good job, sweetie,” he says.
Nova lets out a laugh and struggles before he puts her down. She whoops again and runs off, her long brown hair flying behind her. She runs around the tree and back to Abel before he scoops her up again.
They do this game again and again and Abel never seems to get tired of it. I’m leaning back in a chair, feet up on a stool, just watching the two of them go.
It’s hot and I’m tired but I can never seem to pull myself away from watching Abel play with Nova. It took some time to get to this point, at least a year of going slow, but after that first year…
Well, he proposed, we got married six months later, and now we’re expecting baby number two.
I put my hand over my belly. We only just found out last week. We haven’t told anyone yet. Well, except for my mom, of course. Otherwise, we’ve kept it all to ourselves.
Eventually Nova gets tired and ends up sitting in the grass with a few trucks Abel got her. She loves trucks for some reason.
“You know, I gotta admit, I was skeptical of this,” Abel says, sitting next to me in the shade. “But damn, if it ain’t nice having a back yard.”
I laugh and touch his hand. He grins at me, takes my fingers in his, and squeezes them gently.
“I didn’t know you were such a city boy until I tried to get you to move to the suburbs.”
“I grew up in the city,” he counters. “Just because I’m a sailor doesn’t mean I can’t also be a city boy.”
“Fine, fine. It’s not like we moved far. Just a half hour and we’re back in town.”
“I know.” He grins at me. “Not like it matters with the new baby coming.”
I lean across the space and kiss him. “Think of any names yet?”
“If it’s a boy, he’ll be Abel Jr.”
“I don’t think so.”
He looks offended. “You don’t like my name?”
“I don’t like how vain you are.”
He grins at me and winks. “Fair enough.”
“I was thinking we could name him after your father.”
Abel goes quiet for a second. “I’d like that,” he says finally.
“Or your mother, if it’s a girl.”
“Either way.” He smiles at me and looks away, and for a second I think he’s crying.
But no, he’s just watching his daughter get up and trot across the grass, chasing after a stray bunny.
“What time do you have to leave tomorrow morning?” I ask him.
“Early,” he says. “Gotta be there to prep then you know how it goes.”
“Sure.” Abel’s speaking has been pretty successful and they’ve sent him all over the area. I think they’re prepping him to send him national, but he’s resisted it pretty hard so far, which only makes me love him even more. “Well, my mom’s coming to help out with Nova.”
“Good. Tell her I said hey.”
I nod and watch as Nova trips and goes sprawling. I almost get up but Abel stops me. Slowly Nova picks herself up, brushes off some dirt, and grins over at us.
“See!” she says. “Not crying!”
“That’s my girl,” Abel calls back.
She smiles and runs around the tree again before plopping down to play with her trucks.
“I love the way you two are,” I say softly.
“You were worried.”
“I know.”
“Honestly, I was scared shitless. I mean, being a dad?”
“I know,” I say softly. “It’s not easy.”
“Scary as hell. I’ve seen some scary things, but being a dad…”
“You’re good at it. She loves you.”
“It’s because she knows I love her, too.”
I smile and lean across to kiss him. He kisses me back and for a second, I feel that spark between us, the red-hot ember that’s always glowing there.
Lots of things changed. Abel’s money helped us buy this house. He’s doing speaking jobs for the military. I’m still writing for the paper, but in a different office. Nova’s growing up.
But the passion between us hasn’t changed at all, not even a little bit.
There’s always a fire. We have to be careful with Nova in the house all the time but that doesn’t stop him. Abel’s a hungry man and I absolutely love it. I can barely keep up, but that’s the fun. He keeps me busy, on my toes, always satisfied, and he doesn’t seem to ever get tired of touching my body.
It drives me wild, seeing myself through his eyes. I’ve never met someone that looks at me the way Abel does. He loves me, loves me so much it almost hurts, and I can’t help but bask in the sunlight of his absolutely undying loyalty and affection.
“So how many more are we having?” he asks me, glancing at my stomach. “Three? Five?”
“No more kids,” I say sternly. “One more and then we’re done.”
He laughs. “You say that now.”
“It’s easy for you, you don’t have to give birth.”
“True, but I’d do it for you if I could.”
I snort, but he’s probably right. I bet he really would if he could.
“Shame you can’t.” I sigh. “But you’re probably right. I’ll have this one and a year will go by…”
“And I won’t keep my hands off you.”
“And I’ll end up pregnant again.”
He grins and kisses me. “Big family?”
“We’ll see.” I’m smiling because I never thought I’d want a big family, but being with Abel…
He makes me want it. He takes on so much of the burden around the house. He takes care of Nova so effortlessly. And all in only two years.
My life is so different, but it’s also the same. Just so much better.
My man and my babies. He did this, he made all this happen. I know how much he gave up to be with me and Nova, and I love him every single day for it.
And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t so happy for the sacrifice. Because of that, we can be together, we can be a family.
This is what being complete feels like. I never thought I’d have it, but here I am.
We kiss one more time and hold hands while we watch our daughter play in the grass out back behind the house we own together. I have a smile on my face because I know this is an ending, but it’s just the beginning for our family.
THE END
* * *
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Also by BB Hamel
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