Chasing the Stars

by Malorie Blackman

  ‘Want to go all out and do something even more scary?’ asked Nathan.

  ‘Like what?’

  Nathan stood up and held out his hand. I took it and he pulled me to my feet. ‘Promise me you won’t think, you’ll just go with your gut. OK?’

  Intrigued, I nodded.

  I kept telling myself I had to be cracked to put myself in the hands of someone I’d known for such a short space of time, but it felt so right, so . . . natural. It felt like I was on a gravity ride, being lifted up high and about to be dropped fast and hard. It was exciting and fear-inducing all at once. But whilst I was on this ride, I was going to hang on for dear life and enjoy every moment.

  34

  There’s nothing like seeing death, facing death, to put life in perspective. I swore when I was on Callisto that if I ever escaped from that hell hole, I would never hesitate to grab any and every opportunity that crossed my path. I promised myself I’d never be afraid of life or love and would celebrate both.

  I have to admit though, I didn’t see this one coming.

  Vee kept casting me curious looks as I pulled on my jacket and led the way out of the astrophysics lab.

  This was insane! She’d never agree to what I had planned but that wasn’t going to stop me from trying. Even I couldn’t believe what I had in mind. I was definitely losing it, but I didn’t care.

  All Vee had to say was yes and our lives would never be the same again.

  35

  ‘Vee, are you all right?’ asked my brother.

  ‘Yeah,’ I yawned. ‘Why?’

  ‘That’s the eighth time you’ve yawned in ten minutes,’ said Aidan.

  I frowned. ‘Don’t exaggerate.’

  ‘You know I don’t do that.’

  ‘Why are you counting how many times I yawn in any given amount of time?’ I said, irritated.

  For heaven’s sake! Couldn’t a girl even yawn in peace? And though I knew I’d done nothing wrong, my face and neck were growing steadily warmer. Erica who was perched at the edge of Aidan’s console chatting to him, looked at me curiously.

  What?

  Luckily for me, the commander, Anjuli and everyone else on the bridge couldn’t give a damn how often I yawned. I needed to pull myself together. We were still travelling through Mazon space and weren’t out of danger yet. I needed to be on top of my game.

  Focus, Vee. Focus!

  Nathan chose just that moment to step through the door and, yep, he was yawning.

  Crap!

  ‘Morning, Nathan,’ said Aidan.

  Aidan’s greeting almost made me feel sorry that I’d spoken in private to my brother about being more open and friendly with the crew.

  ‘Someone else who didn’t get much sleep last night,’ said Erica pointedly.

  What was that girl’s problem? And thanks to her words and Nathan’s untimely entrance, my face was now on fire.

  ‘Nathan, are the oxygen levels on board too low?’ asked Aidan. ‘That might explain why both you and my sister are yawning. I shall check—’

  ‘Aidan, where is everyone?’ I asked, desperate to get my brother off the topic of the ship’s lack of oxygen.

  ‘Doctor Sheen and Rafael are in the medical bay. Alex is in the science lab with Max. Dooli is with the two children in the cargo hold. Mike is in the hydroponics bay, Ian, Maria, Harrison and Corbyn are in the engine room—’

  ‘I really don’t need to know the exact whereabouts of every single person on board,’ I interrupted.

  ‘But that’s what you asked me.’ Aidan turned to me with a frown.

  Sometimes he could be so irritatingly literal. ‘I just meant . . . Never mind.’

  I glanced at Nathan who winked at me.

  Bastard!

  I smothered a laugh beneath my hand which I placed over my mouth as if I were contemplating something deep and meaningful – which in a way I was.

  Nathan walked over to me and squatted down. ‘How’re you feeling?’ he asked softly.

  ‘Tired. I didn’t get much sleep last night,’ I replied equally quietly.

  We grinned at each other, at that moment the only two on the bridge. But only for that moment. I looked up. Erica was watching us, a dawning light of realization in her eyes. She opened her mouth. I quickly shook my head at her. A satisfied gleam in her eyes, she closed her mouth again. With one gesture I’d been stupid enough to confirm her suspicions.

  Damn!

  I really was entirely out of practice at being with people. Erica resumed her conversation with Aidan, probably knowing I was watching her. She wasn’t going to tell my brother, was she? But hell! So what if she did? What Nathan and I got up to in our own time was none of her business, or Aidan’s business, or anyone else’s for that matter.

  ‘Thank you for my present,’ Nathan said, bringing my attention back to him.

  ‘Are you wearing it?’

  ‘Are you kidding? I’m never going to take it off.’ Nathan smiled. He unfastened the top of his work jacket making it seem like a casual gesture. There, against his black T-shirt, was the V pendant my dad had promised to me and I in turn had passed on to Nathan last night.

  ‘Be careful with it. The clasp is a bit fragile,’ I warned.

  Nathan nodded.

  ‘Don’t lose it,’ I said softly. ‘It’s very precious to me, that’s why I gave it to you. OK?’

  ‘OK.’

  ‘Vee, I’ve been going through all the logs recorded since we arrived on board the Aidan,’ the commander turned to tell me. ‘Are you convinced by your assessment of yesterday’s airlock . . . incident?’

  I forced myself to look straight back at the commander rather than looking around to see who was monitoring our conversation. ‘With the data I’ve analysed so far, yes I am.’

  The commander nodded and turned back to what she was doing. She reminded me that I needed to get my head out of the clouds and back to work. Three people had died. I needed to find out why.

  Beside me, Nathan straightened up. ‘I wasn’t given an assignment for today,’ he said at his normal volume. ‘Is there anything in particular you’d like me to do, Captain.’

  I looked from Nathan to his mum and back again.

  Oh, he was talking to me!

  Nathan pressed his lips together to stop himself from laughing. Resisting the urge to kick him in the shins, I asked, ‘What’re you good at?’

  With a devilish glint in his eyes, he replied softly, ‘I’m good with my hands.’

  God! My face was on fire. Again.

  ‘Er . . . if you could help out on the landing craft down in the cargo hold, that’d be great. I haven’t managed to get it running and I believe some of your colleagues are currently working on it. I’m sure they’d appreciate your input.’

  Nathan bent down to whisper in my ear, ‘I like it when my input is appreciated.’

  Oh. My. God!

  ‘Nathan, behave!’ I muttered.

  ‘That’s not what you said last night,’ he replied.

  I glared at him. What was he like?

  Before I could say another word, Nathan was heading for the door. And I knew that he knew I was watching him.

  I had it really bad.

  Focus, Vee.

  In spite of everything else that was going on around me, there was a peaceful, easy feeling inside me that I’d never felt before. For the very first time in my life I was in love and loving every minute of it.

  36

  I was almost late for the memorial ceremony. The moment I entered the mess hall, I immediately scanned the room for Vee. It was only as I looked around for her that I realized I did the same thing whatever room I entered. The first thing I did was look for Vee. It was as if I couldn’t relax properly until I knew where she was and that she was OK. I moved to stand beside her as Mum cast me a disapproving look for my tardiness. I nodded my apology then turned to look at Vee. She wore her work uniform but beneath her jacket I could see her purple sleeveless shirt. The contrast between the p
urple of her shirt against her brown skin made me want to take her and hold her. Or better still, to hold her and take her. Highly inappropriate thoughts given the reason for this gathering, but damn it, if a memorial service didn’t make you appreciate love and life then nothing would.

  I placed my hands behind my back and waited for Mum to speak. Vee stood with her head bowed. I looked around. Everyone on board was present – except Aidan. Someone had to stay on the bridge in case the Mazon put in an unexpected appearance. The mess hall wasn’t completely silent. Some were trying – and failing – to suppress their sobs and tears. Darren wasn’t the only one who’d lost his entire family on Barros 5. Maria had lost her mother-in-law who was the last member of her family and Dooli and Rafael had also lost loved ones. To escape from Callisto only to lose the ones we loved now was especially cruel. Erica was fidgeting like she couldn’t wait to leave, but then she’d lost all her family back on Callisto a long time before we’d escaped, so this ceremony was probably just hammering home that fact. And there was Max. He’d never had any family, but he had to be the most optimistic person I’d ever met. I’d never heard him say a mean word against anyone. As far as the rest of the crew were concerned, the deaths of Mei, Saul and Jaxon had been a tragic accident, nothing more. Mum reckoned, and Vee had agreed, that there was no point in revealing the truth. It would only spread fear and suspicion around the ship. I could understand their point of view. So here we all were with more lost lives to be remembered, more deaths to mourn.

  It wasn’t often that we had the time and space to collectively mourn our dead. As sombre as this occasion was, maybe it was the start of a new way of doing things for us. Maybe out of this commemoration of so much ending, we’d find a new beginning.

  And maybe I was just deluding myself.

  ‘We are gathered here to pay our respects to all the loved ones we have known and lost – on Callisto, on the Galileo, on Barros 5 and aboard this ship,’ Mum began. ‘There’s not one of us on board, who hasn’t suffered the grief of a loss. But we must continue to use that grief to unite us and to make us the stronger for it.’

  Silence.

  Vee was radiating sadness. Her hand moved to her chest, then dropped back to her side. Anyone watching probably thought she was about to cough or was placing her hand over her heart in a very over-dramatic way. But I knew that’s where her dad’s pendant used to lie against her skin. She was probably thinking of her parents and the rest of the crew of the Aidan who had died. I clasped my hands in front of me, forcing myself not to reach out and take Vee’s hand in mine. I could only guess what everyone present would make of that.

  ‘We may have lost loved ones,’ Mum continued. ‘But all is not lost. Everyone, look around. You are standing beside your old friends and we are, all of us, your new family. We will endure and we will make it to Mendela Prime where a better life awaits all of us. The best way to overcome a fear of death is to live and live well – and we will.’

  But would we?

  As I looked around, an unwelcome question sprang into my head.

  Just how many of us currently standing here would make it to Mendela Prime? Something told me our troubles weren’t behind us, but lay ahead.

  37

  Over the next few days, I’m sure more and more people were giving me funny looks, knowing looks. At first I tried to tell myself I was imagining things. But the smiles as I approached people in the corridors and the whispers as they passed me weren’t all my imagination. Nathan insisted Erica didn’t know a thing but she must’ve shared her suspicions.

  Once or twice, Nathan and I almost got caught, twice whilst kissing in the lift when we unexpectedly found ourselves in it together alone and once in the malfunctioning landing craft when I went down to the cargo hold to enquire about progress. That really was all I went down there for – honest! Ian and Harrison were outside the craft, recalibrating the engine, and Nathan was inside the two-man craft, relaying data back to those outside. When I entered the craft to tell Nathan that we had to be more careful about public displays of affection, he answered by kissing me breathless. When the data ceased to be forthcoming, Ian decided to come into the craft to find out what was the problem. The problem was Nathan had his tongue in my mouth, not his eyes on the screen. That one had been close . . . but I think we got away with it.

  And I was actually making friends. The commander and I now had a grudging respect for each other and I often asked her advice on matters regarding the ship and crew. To be honest, it was good to have someone willing to take on some of the responsibility of running the ship. The only thing I hadn’t shared with any of the others was the executive command code which allowed me amongst other things to lock out or lock down any computer function at a moment’s notice.

  Anjuli and I in particular were already good friends. Her enthusiasm was endearing. If she could’ve, she would’ve slept on the bridge. She insisted that Aidan and I take her through every facet of the ship’s controls, which I for one was more than happy to do. And she was no mental slouch either. In fact, I got on well with almost everyone – except Darren. And Erica. She got on most of my nerves, with her openly knowing looks cast in my direction, and especially her obvious plays for my brother. The atmosphere on board was slowly beginning to relax and warm up as we got used to each other. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy about it – but it felt like the calm before a fast approaching storm.

  I could only hope and pray that I was worrying about nothing.

  And then there was Mei, Saul and Jaxon. I hadn’t forgotten what had happened to them, even if our investigation seemed to have ground to a halt. Realizing that I hadn’t had a proper chat with my brother in a number of days, I headed for his door about thirty minutes before the start of my next shift. Placing my hand against his palmlock, I walked straight into his room. Aidan was seated at his desk. He swung round in his chair the moment I entered.

  ‘Hi, Aidan, how’re you?’ I smiled.

  He gave me a strange look, almost stony.

  ‘Are you all right?’ I asked, my smile fading.

  ‘I haven’t seen you in a while,’ said Aidan.

  ‘Yeah, I know. I’ve been . . . er . . . busy getting to know our new crew,’ I mumbled.

  ‘The whole crew or just one member of it?’ he asked.

  My face began to burn. ‘What does that mean?’

  ‘You and Nathan are together a lot,’ said Aidan.

  ‘Nathan has been telling me about the other members of the crew and teaching me things.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘Like what life was like on Callisto and how he survived,’ I replied, my tone growing brusque. This wasn’t what I came to talk to my brother about. Time to nip this subject in the bud. I took a deep breath. ‘Aidan, I didn’t come here to talk about Nathan. How is the investigation going into the deaths of Jaxon, Saul and Mei?’

  At first I thought he wasn’t going to answer, but at last he said, ‘I’ve analysed all the available logs and cross-referenced the time of the nanite infection with the times of the deaths of the refugees.’

  ‘And?’

  Aidan shrugged. ‘Any or all of the new crew could’ve done it.’

  Distinctly unimpressed, I narrowed my eyes. ‘All that brain power and that’s the best you can do?’

  ‘Let’s hear your conclusions then,’ Aidan challenged.

  Silence.

  ‘They’re the same as yours,’ I admitted. ‘The person who infected our computer system was really smart to do it in a place which everyone uses and has access to. I don’t believe it’s a conspiracy though. This smells to me like one person acting alone.’

  ‘Well, the only way to track down this person is to wait for them to strike again,’ said my brother.

  ‘And if they don’t?’

  ‘Then they’ll probably get away with the murders of three people,’ said Aidan.

  ‘And if they do strike again?’

  ‘Then more people on board this ship wil
l die.’

  38

  The Aidan was in night-time mode and I was on the bridge instead of the cargo hold where I should be. Guess I had it really bad. I just didn’t like to be away from Vee for too long. Every couple of hours or so, I always found an excuse to come up to the bridge, supposedly to see Mum. But from the way Vee tried to hide her amused smile every time I walked on the bridge, she knew exactly why I was here.

  Sad, but true.

  I was addicted to her. More than addicted.

  I loved the idea of the two of us spending more time getting to know each other. As far as I was concerned, a lifetime wouldn’t be long enough.

  So here I was again, asking my mum some inane question that could’ve waited until we were both off duty just so I could be with Vee. Even if neither of us said a single word to each other, at least I got to see her for a few minutes. That would have to do me until the two of us could be alone together again.

  Anjuli sat in Aidan’s seat at the navigation controls next to Mum with Darren at weapons and Sam and Hedda at the tactical panel. I was glad there’d been no more talk of Mum trying to take over Vee’s ship. I still heard mutterings amongst some of the settlers about an eighteen-year-old running things and giving orders, but Mum always backed her up and Vee obviously knew what she was doing, so though the mutterings didn’t disappear, they didn’t get any louder – at least, not around me. Between Vee and Mum, they pretty much had the running of the ship covered.

  The day after the memorial service, Mum suggested to Vee that they run tactical simulations. Vee took only a moment to consider before agreeing.

  ‘Would you like to run them yourself or are you happy for me to handle that?’ asked Mum.

  ‘You go ahead. I’d like to be involved though,’ said Vee.

  So over the next couple of days, they devised different scenarios and ran test alerts to see how the new crew of the Aidan would manage. The first couple were close to disastrous but we were getting better.