As I leaned against the counter and waited for someone to serve me, I wondered what the hell had come over me. I wasn't into public displays of affection, and I certainly wasn't into lapping cream off the lips of a famous social media star in the middle of a busy roadhouse.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my elbow. I spun around and found Tripp with a scowl on his face.
“You don't have to look so appalled,” he said, scrunching up his nose. I noticed that his lower lip was shaking, and I went to explain why I looked so worked up, but he cut me off, “And you don't have to look so disgusted, either. It was just a kiss and you might want to get used to it if you have any chance of convincing your parents that we're into each other.”
“It's not that –” I started, but I couldn't find the words. My hands were shaking. My wolf surged forward in my chest and it took all of my will to stop myself from lunging at Tripp and throwing myself at him.
“Forget it,” he said, shaking his head. “I don't think that was such a good idea after all.”
Suddenly, he was gone.
I went to call him to come back.
The bell of the door rang.
“Shit,” I sighed.
I thanked the manager for our food, took an obligatory promotional selfie, posted it to my social media, and got the hell out of there. I walked home, desperate for the fresh air to clear my head. But by the time I climbed the stairs to my apartment, my head wasn't any clearer – in fact, it was more muddled than when I'd left. I couldn't even figure out which key got me into my apartment, and my hands were shaking so much that the bunch fell on the floor with a loud crash.
“Shit,” I hissed again.
I slammed the door behind me and paced back and forth along the length of my apartment. My wolf was still clawing at my chest. At least it wasn't lunging. What the hell was that about? Why had my wolf reacted so strongly to that kiss? I needed to talk to someone who might know.
“Hey, what's up?” Owen answered the phone with a slight panic in his voice.
“Uh, nothing,” I said, sorry that I'd bothered him at work. “Don't worry about –”
“Whoa, are you okay?” he asked, sounding even more worried.
“Yeah, I'm fine, why?” I asked, still pacing.
“You sound like you just ran a marathon or something. What's going on?”
“Ah, man,” I sighed and ran a hand over my face. “I don't fucking know. I just had dinner with Tripp...”
“Uh, Tripp Ingram, who you hate with every bone in your body?”
“It's a long story. Kind of. My parents are threatening to cut off my allowance.”
“Don't you make bank with your online endorsements and shit?” Owen asked, and I could hear the judgmental frown on his face through the phone.
“I give the allowance from my parents straight to Nona, but – fuck, whatever! The point is, I had dinner with Tripp because he's going to be my fake boyfriend – don't even say anything.”
“Um?! How am I not supposed to say something about that –”
“Just don't! There's something more important and I need your help with,” I sighed.
“All right...” Owen's voice softened. “What's going on? With your... fake... boyfriend?”
“I kissed him.”
“Mhm,” he said and I could hear him clenching his jaw, stopping himself from laughing or interrupting.
“And my wolf...” I started, but I couldn't finish. I stopped pacing and took a deep breath.
“Oh, shit,” Owen said.
“Yeah,” I let out a deep exhale.
“Did it, like… go crazy?”
“It pawed at my chest so hard that I felt like I was having a fucking heart attack,” I croaked.
Owen whistled. “Shit, man. You can't ignore that.”
“That's really not what I wanted to hear,” I said as I walked into my kitchen and cracked open a bottle of room temperature water.
“Then why'd you call me? Go talk to someone who doesn't have a fated mate. You better believe your wolf knows what's best. If it's reacting to Tripp... Then you might want to consider turning this fake boyfriend thing into something more serious. God, I can't believe I'm saying these words. What the fuck, Deck?!”
“I know,” I groaned. “What the fuck?!”
“Do you like how he smells?”
“Ugh! Yes!” I moaned, leaning on the sink and lowering my head as I remembered the musky, sharp scent of him after the yoga class.
“Does your wolf get excited when you just, like, see him?”
“I hate this,” I groaned. “Yes. Oh my god, Owen! What the fuck am I going to do?! How can I make it stop?”
Owen chuckled. “Uh, you can't. It's fate. Duh.”
“Maybe it’s fate! Maybe not! What if my wolf's wrong? What if it got its wires crossed?”
“Um, in the past few years, if you hadn't noticed, a whole bunch of my friends have found their fated mates. The stories are all the same,” he said, and his voice took on a deeply serious tone. “A wolf knows what's up before their human halves have a chance to catch up. You could just avoid Tripp for the rest of your life. Or you could take the opportunity and maybe experience the best thing that's ever happened to you.”
I groaned and slid down a cabinet to rest on the kitchen floor with my bottle of water in hand and best friend on the other end of the phone. I took a deep breath and whispered, “Do you really think that Tripp Ingram is what's best for me?”
“Uh, I mean, I don't. But it sounds like your wolf does. I mean... How many times have you laughed when you’ve been with him?”
My head spun thinking back to the times we’d hung out, and I quickly realized that it was quite a few.
“And how do you feel around him? How's your energy when you're together?” he pushed.
“Kind of calm,” I mumbled.
Owen went quiet for a moment, as if leaving me to digest the realizations. When he next spoke, his voice was soft and gentle. “You called me for help and I gotta tell you, Deck... You should really consider your feelings for Tripp seriously. Are you annoyed at him because he's actually annoying... Or is it because you have a huge crush on him and you're too chicken to do anything about it?”
I stayed silent but I let out a disgruntled scoff that gave Owen a good chuckle.
“C'mon, man, I know you pretty well and it's obvious to me that Tripp is the only guy who can make you blush as bright red as a blood moon.”
I groaned and almost laughed as Owen let out a rumbling chuckle.
“Hey, I gotta go, there's a call on the radio. Just do me a favor and think about it seriously,” he said. “I don't want you to miss out on something amazing.”
Owen was right but his words had somehow managed to make me feel more anxious, at least physically. My stomach was tumbling and I was practically shaking as I ended the call. If I was going to give it any clear thought, I needed to clear my head and settle my nervous system.
I headed out of my apartment, hurried down the stairs, and almost collided with a neighbor. I shifted at the door of the building, and immediately shook off the tight feeling in my muscles. Even with pavement under my paws, I already felt better. I trotted around to the back of my building and pushed my way through a loose flap of chain-link fence that separated the western edge of Blackwater township with the fields, woods, and mountains surrounding it all. Once my tail passed through that hole in the fence, I was free – I immediately kicked up my back legs and ran like a shot through the grassy field at the back of my block, out towards the woods.
The ground was still wet from the recent storms and my paws sunk into the mud. I loved the feeling of it oozing between my paw pads, and the sound of it splattering out behind me as I ran faster and harder. I pushed myself to cross the field as quickly as I could, already breathing deep. I felt desperate to get into the woods. The waning moon was just a sliver of light in the sky, no thicker than a fingernail, and casting barely any light on the field. I just had
my ears and snout to guide me through the dark, and I bounded over knotted chunks of wild grass, groups of gurgling frogs, and large puddles until I made it to the edge of the field, sprinted through the tree line, and found myself enclosed in the dark, damp woods.
I skidded to a stop. Beyond my panting, I could hear the stillness of the woods. My whole being felt silent, too. There were exceptions to the quiet, of course – my heart pounded in my chest, and I heard the slight rustling of leaves in the canopy overhead; my panting breath came in and out raspy and desperate, and I heard a quiver in the undergrowth. But overall, this was the quietest and most peaceful I'd felt in days. Maybe even weeks.
I set one paw in front of the other and began walking my usual trail. It was meditative as I followed my own scent, which always felt like following an old friend rather than my past self. It reminded me of looking back at my old videos and feeling like I was watching someone else who just happened to look a lot like me. I sniffed out the scent on the base of the trees, rubbed myself against the bark to refresh the trail for next time, and plodded my way through the quite, dark forest. Everything smelled fresh and fertile from the rains, even though the chill of the incoming winter was sending everything scurrying away into hibernation, or death. Wet, fallen leaves squelched under my paws and let up intoxicating smells of decomposition and mud. I stuck my snout into the pile of leaves and took a deep, greedy inhale before trotting off to see what else I could sniff out.
By the time I made it through the trail's loop and back to the open field, I'd become completely calm. My muscles felt strong and my nervous system was settled. I took in one last sniff of the woods, thanked it for its medicine, and trotted back home.
Back in the apartment, I washed off the mud in a steaming hot shower, then I took myself to bed. Only once I was safe and warm under my comforter did I dare think about Tripp... The run had certainly calmed my body, but I still couldn't sort my thoughts out. So I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths. I was falling back into the corpse pose meditation that Tripp had led us through in his yoga class. I even heard his voice telling me to inhale... and exhale... I imagined that I could still smell the woods. Soon enough, I was watching my breath and everything else began falling away.
It was just me and my body in my warm bed. My mind was calm. Thoughts rose up and I felt the rumbling of anxiety in my body, but it soon fell away like a lazy wave on a calm beach. I felt safe. My wolf nudged at my chest with its snout.
I took a deep breath and invited it to speak to me.
The message was loud and clear... A rush of pure desire pulsed through me. Every inch of my skin yearned to be closer to Tripp. My lips were buzzing with the memory of our kiss. And my cock...
I reached down and found that I was already rock hard. I moaned in appreciation as I wrapped my hand around my dick through my sweatpants. It pulsed under my grip and the thrill of it shot up through my body. My mind immediately went back to that sweet, creamy kiss, and my cock kicked again.
If I was going to “think about it seriously” as Owen had prescribed, I'd have to get some tension out first...
I wriggled out of my sweatpants, set my cock free, and started jerking it, thinking about Tripp. I told myself that it was just to see if I could get off over him. I got my answer in less than thirty seconds with the first premature ejaculation of my life. After I came hard and fast, I lay in bed thinking about what the fuck I was going to do about this question of being fated mates. Because really, I had to do something.
8
Tripp
Twirling around my studio with a stick of incense, I admired the spirals of smoke as the bluish early morning light filtered in through the yurt's windows. My regular camera guy was out sick with a cold so I wasn't going to be able to film that morning's class for my channel. I really hated to miss an upload day. My fans loved my reliable stream of content, but they were just going to have to cope somehow. The incense was helping me cope, somewhat. Then I heard the bead curtain jingle as someone entered the room.
I spun around, still holding the incense, to see Decker standing there looking more bashful than I'd ever seen him before. Normally I would use a moment of clear vulnerability to really push his buttons and get a reaction out of him. But he had seemed thoroughly freaked out after our kiss last night... I couldn't get his horrified reaction out of my mind. He had looked positively spooked. Before the kiss, I had been convinced that he had it as bad for me as I did for him. Now I wasn't so sure. The heat of the moment seemed to have singed him.
“Hey. It's early, Decker. What's going on?” I asked as I placed the incense safely in its holder.
“I, uh...I came to apologize,” he said quietly.
I stood with my arms crossed, still with the full length of the studio between us. It was chilly. I had just begun to heat the room for that morning's class so I had a scarf wrapped around my neck and I used it to hide the bottom half of my face.
“For what?” I asked gravely, as Decker began to close the distance between us. When he was within reaching distance, he outstretched a hand to pull the scarf away from my face. Then he raised both of his hands and placed them on my cheeks. They were as warm as hot butter, and it felt like my chest was going to cave in. I had been steeling myself for rejection. What was hell was this?
We seemed to stand like that for eons while I searched his eyes for an answer. Just as I started to lose patience and opened my mouth to demand an explanation, he started to speak.
“I didn't expect that kiss to affect me like it did,” he said. “My wolf had never reacted to anything that way before.”
My heart started pounding in my chest, as if the yoga class had already begun and I was entering a handstand, all blood rushing to my brain. My wolf had reacted to the kiss, too. It had keened and whined so bad that I’d had to shift afterwards to release the energy. I’d gone for a run that night to try and burn off some steam but afterward I was just tired and horny instead of keyed up and horny.
Decker continued, “I had to shift last night to shake off the tension. It felt like something huge was building up inside of me.”
I practically did a double-take. This was unreal, and yet somehow much more real than any of the fantasies I had created in my mind about Decker. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it, in case it was still somehow just the product of my frequent, passionate, wishful thinking. Part of me still doubted that he would ever change his mind about me. I held onto the belief that I wasn't good enough for a gorgeous, successful guy who had an elite upbringing.
“I'm still trying to figure all this out,” Decker said tenderly, his face now inches away from mine. “I'm sorry for dismissing you like that. Will you forgive me?”
Still not wanting to give in fully to what seemed like a fever dream, I questioned him one last time.
“Is this just about you needing me to pretend to be your boyfriend?”
Decker gave me the answer I needed. His hands slid along my cheeks toward the back of my head, his thumbs resting on the angles of my jawbone.
“No,” he whispered, and kissed me with gentle devotion. The romantic gesture was unmistakable. I felt a dam break inside me and passion flooded out, filling every ounce of my being. I relaxed deeper into Decker's kiss. The heavenly early morning light and the smell of incense wafting around us made the moment seem divinely ordained. A light breeze must have blown around the yurt because I heard a faint melody of chimes. With one move, Decker had allowed me to release the control I had so desperately grasped since the shenanigans began between us so long ago, back in high school. Now that I had what I wanted, I could do what I actually needed to do. I could just let him hold me and feel myself melt into him. I savored every millisecond of our kiss.
Descending back to earth from heaven as our lips parted, Decker asked me again softly, “Will you forgive me?”
After landing firmly back on the wooden planks of the yurt's floor, I was back to my old self and loath to answer a question
so easily.
“Will you be the cameraman for my hot yoga session that's starting in thirty minutes?” I asked him with a sweet smile, one hand still resting on his burly shoulder and one on the back of his neck.
Decker kissed me again and mumbled into my lips, “Yeah, I'll be your cameraman.”
My hot yoga class was a lot hotter with Decker walking around the room shirtless, dripping sweat, while keeping a camera trained on my every move. His attention was like a drug to me and it took all my mindfulness skills not to spend the whole class wondering if he really was on his way to being my real boyfriend instead of just pretend.
Decker seemed to be enjoying the arrangement too. He was getting plenty of different angles of each pose I demonstrated. I hoped his attention to detail didn't cross a line into inappropriate footage and get me banned from all the video sharing sites where I posted my classes. Well, part of me did secretly hope for that... And I had plenty of thirsty followers, so it could have worked out to my benefit in multiple ways. Not just in the eggplant emoji way...
When the class finished, Decker came over to me while I rolled up the mats to gush about the class while he put the camera and microphone back into their cases.
“That was great,” Decker said through a huge grin. “Your followers are going to love the angle I got of your downward dog. And your baby pose.”
“Child's pose?”
“No, the baby one where your legs are spread.”
“Oh, happy baby,” I chuckled. “Yeah, that one has a lot of potential. But you know, not all of my followers are horny for me,” I chided with faux modesty, “just most of them.”
I winked and Decker chuckled.
He took a moment to run a hand over his brow to wipe away some sweat before confiding gently, “Your voice becomes so soothing and hypnotic when it's time for corpse pose. Hopefully, I captured the serenity.”
“Thanks, lover. That's sweet of you to say,” I cooed as a blonde girl wearing a long braid came up to return a mat and said, “Thanks for a great flow today, Tripp.”
Claimed By My Pretend Boyfriend: Blackwater Pack Book Six Page 6