by Hamel, B. B.
“I’d call the cops if that’s what I wanted.”
He snorts. “Please. I’m practically a cop.”
“You know you’re not at all, right?”
“What about her pages?” he says, changing the subject.
I sigh as the dread comes back. “Look, can I come see you?”
He doesn’t hesitate. “Of course. I’ll send a car.”
“Okay, great.” I hang up the phone without thinking.
It’s not until the car arrives and I get in the back that I realize he probably thinks this is a booty call.
I groan to myself and sink down in the seat. The manuscript is in my lap and I want to bury my face in it.
Oh, my god. I just called him, in the middle of the night, and asked if I could come over. He probably thinks this whole story thing is a totally bullshit excuse to get into his apartment. He probably thinks I’m just using it to see him.
And, okay, maybe there’s some truth to that. If I’m honest with myself, there’s a lot of truth to that. I could’ve just talked to him over the phone, but instead, I really wanted to go see him.
Because I want to be able to touch him. I want to see his face when I tell him that I hate these pages. I want him to kiss me and tell me it’ll be okay.
God, it’s so stupid. I don’t know what I’m doing. But it’s too late, the car pulls up out in front of his apartment, and I can’t help myself. I get out and ring the bell before I head up.
The elevator doors open. I sniff once and smell something delicious.
“Back here,” he calls out.
I walk into the kitchen. He’s standing over the stove pouring pancake batter into a pan. He nods at a stack sitting on a plate on the counter.
“Help yourself,” he says.
I frown. “Pancakes?”
“Sure. Nothing better.”
“But it’s breakfast food.”
He raises an eyebrow at me. “Pancakes are an anytime food,” he says. “Especially when you need to talk.”
I sigh and smile despite myself. I sit and reluctantly take one, covering it in syrup, and taking a few tentative bites.
It takes me half a second to realize that I haven’t eaten dinner yet. Ravenous, I have two more whole pancakes, and he offers me some cut-up strawberries, which I gladly add to the mix.
He smiles and sips some whiskey, watching me eat. We don’t talk much, and when I’m done, I lean back and feel so, so much better.
He laughs and takes my plate, rinsing it off and putting it into the dishwasher.
“I guess I was hungry,” I admit.
“I figured you didn’t have dinner.”
“How’d you know?”
“Heard it in your voice.”
I roll my eyes. “So now you can hear hunger over the phone?”
“It’s an odd skill.” He sits down across from me again. “Okay, so what do you want to talk about?”
I sigh and pull the manuscript pages over. I had put them aside when the feasting began.
“Haylee’s pages,” I say. “I read them.”
“And?”
“I read them four times,” I say. “Slowly and carefully.”
He frowns. “Uh oh.”
“Julian, they’re bad.”
He glances down. “How bad?”
“Really bad.”
I proceed to explain the problems. He read the original pages, so he knows the story enough that I don’t have to fill anything in for him.
“Shit,” he says finally. “She’s going off the rails.”
“It sounds awful, right? I mean, it’s not just me?”
“No, it’s not just you. This isn’t some Game of Thrones bullcrap with—” He hesitates. “Have you read the books?”
“Saw the show.”
“Okay, so you know what happens in the first season. It’s not like that.”
“Right,” I say. “That was a main character dying that made total sense. This is just… swapping the hero for some random loser.”
“Exactly.” He sighs. “I’m sure she has this justified in her head, but…”
“We want to sell books. And a good story.”
“Exactly.” He leans back in his chair and sips his drink. “You know what we have to do, right?”
“Fire her and never speak of this again.”
He laughs at that. “If only it were so easy.”
That dread in my stomach comes back. “No. Come on. No.”
“You have to tell her,” he says softly.
“Julian, no. She’ll rip my head off.”
“Come on, you really have to.”
“I’m not kidding here. She’ll literally kill me, Julian. I’m too young to get murdered.”
He sighs. “At least you’ll leave a pretty corpse.”
“Not funny.”
“Look, I know she’s insane. I can be with you when you tell her.”
“I’d rather we just sold the company and pretended like none of this ever happened.”
He laughs softly. “I know. But this is it, this right here. You had a really tough first round with her, but it’s time to get back at it. You can handle this.”
I groan and shake my head. He wasn’t in that room. He doesn’t know how nasty she can be.
But maybe he’s right about something. If I’m going to become a partner in this business, I need to be able to do this sort of thing. I need to be able to make hard decisions and to own up to them completely. If I can’t tell this author the truth, I don’t think I can handle running an entire business.
Still, I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask for any of this. I almost want to go back in time and pretend that I’m just a fan of Haylee and never have to work with her.
I had no clue self-published authors could be such horrible divas.
“Crap,” I say softly.
He laughs and gets up. He takes my hand and pulls me to my feet, wrapping his arms around me tight.
“You can do this,” he says.
“Why do you have so much faith in me?”
He shrugs and kisses me gently. “Because I see something in you, Avery. I want you to see yourself the same way I see you.”
I bite my lip. I’ve never had someone have faith in me like this before.
“I don’t know if you’re right,” I say.
“I know. But you’ll come around.” He kisses me softly again. “Stay here tonight.”
I shake my head. “No, I should get back home. I want to make notes and get started on this.”
He grins. “I knew I made the right decision.”
I smile and hit his muscular chest. He laughs and walks me to the elevators.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says.
I hesitate as the elevator doors open. “Hey, thanks,” I say. “Seriously, this was… I needed this.”
“Good. Come by anytime you want. I’ll always have pancakes and sex.”
I roll my eyes. “Of course. Bye!”
“See you.”
I smile as I step into the elevator. Once the doors close though, reality sets back in.
I’m going to tell Haylee, that monster diva author, that I think her new pages suck. I’m going to basically throw myself into the lion’s den wearing a meat dress.
She’s going to tear me apart and I’d better be ready for it.
12
Julian
The next morning, Avery’s working hard at her desk on the manuscript, making notes and jotting down ideas in the margins.
I have to say, I’m impressed with her. I wouldn’t have blamed her if she’d refused to go through with this. I might’ve been disappointed, but I wouldn’t have thought less of her.
This, though, this is why I think I’m right to have faith in her. Even though she doesn’t want to be involved with Haylee anymore, she’s still going to do it. It’s her job and she’s going to do it the best that she can.
I’m proud of her, weirdly. I don’t really know this feel
ing, but it’s definitely pride.
She works hard all morning, barely getting up from her desk to use the bathroom. Around one in the afternoon, I walk over and crouch down beside her.
“Avery,” I say softly.
She starts. “Oh. Hey. Sorry. You scared me.”
“How’s it going?”
“Good,” she says. “I think.”
“How about taking a break?”
She hesitates. “I don’t know.”
“Come to lunch with me.”
“Julian, I should just get some more of this done, I’m almost finished and—”
“It can wait,” I say softly. “Come on. Take a break. Let me treat you to something.”
She hesitates but nods. “I guess I am starving.”
“No pancakes this time, I promise.”
“I’m almost disappointed. Those were good.”
I laugh. “You can have some later.” I stand up and stretch. “Come on. I know a place.”
We head out together. Instead of getting an Uber, we walk a few blocks west, heading into a dense section of the city.
There’s an upscale diner at the base of an apartment building and I take her right in there. We get seated right away and I can tell she’s relieved that we’re not at some fancy restaurant.
“I’m almost tempted to get pancakes,” she says.
“Go ahead. They’re good here.”
“No, I don’t want to. They’re better when you cook them.”
I nod sagely. “Made with love.”
She arches an eyebrow. “Love?”
“Sounds better than sex.”
She makes a face and I laugh.
The waitress comes and we order. I keep Avery talking, chatting about nothing, keeping it light.
I want to distract her from office stuff. I know how much she’s dreading this Haylee business, and I can’t blame her. I figure an hour of getting it off her mind will do her a lot of good.
The place is busy as business people out with clients filter in and out. While it’s not a fancy restaurant, it’s still an upscale diner, so a lot of people I know like to come here for a fast but good meal. Just as I ask Avery about her college days, which aren’t so far behind her, a couple of young guys come walking up to our table.
It takes me a second to place them. I half stand as they approach.
“Dave, John, hey,” I say.
I shake their hands. “Hey yourself,” Dave says. “You forgot all about us, didn’t you?”
I grin at him. “Nah. I couldn’t.”
“I think you did,” John says. “Haven’t seen you around in a bit.”
“Ah, you know how it is.”
Dave eyes Avery. “Sure do.”
I don’t like his tone, not at all. These guys are from my marketing company, and both of them are upper level managers. I’m not as involved in the day-to-day anymore, but I hired these guys myself years ago. They know me about as well as anyone does, and I can only imagine what they’re thinking.
“Who’s this?” Dave asks me.
“Guys, this is Avery. Avery, these two gentlemen are from my marketing company.”
“Hi,” she says. “Nice to meet you.”
“Charmed,” John says, grinning at me and winking. “What, is this one half your age, Julian?”
“Seriously, we know you have an appetite, but come on,” Dave adds. “This is a little much.”
I glare at the assholes. “It’s not like that.”
“Oh, right, sure,” Dave says, laughing. “Well, you two kids have fun, okay?”
They two guys wave and walk off, laughing as they go.
I sit back down, practically shaking with rage. Avery is staring down at the table, not saying a word.
“Look, I’m sorry about that.”
“It’s fine,” she says, almost a whisper.
“No, it’s not. They’re fucking assholes and out of line. They think we’re friends and can say that kind of shit, but—”
“But, what?” she asks, suddenly looking up. “He was right. I am half your age.”
“Avery—”
“Oh, my god. I bet all these people are thinking that, aren’t they? But only those two are assholes enough to say anything.”
“Avery, no—”
“Do people know?” she asks, her eyes wide. “Back at the office, I mean. Do they know?”
“Of course not.”
“Oh, shit.” She moves back and away. “I am half your age. I really am.”
“It’s not that big of a deal. Really, Avery—”
“I have to go.”
She pushes from the seat and stands as fast as she can. I try to tell her to stop but she doesn’t listen. Cursing, I throw some cash down on the table, not really thinking about it, and jump up to chase after her.
Those fucking assholes. I bet they’re watching this and laughing right now. I know they came over just to make us uncomfortable. I mean, I’m still their fucking boss even if I don’t show up at work anymore. If they think they’re not going to pay for this, they’re fucking wrong.
I hurry outside, nearly toppling a waitress as I move through the crowd. Avery is hurrying down the block.
“Avery!” I hurry after her, not caring how I look. I dodge around a guy in a wheelchair and finally catch up with her half a block ahead.
“Leave me alone,” she says.
“Will you just slow down?”
“No.” She whirls around to face me, eyes angry, but at least she’s not running anymore. “Those assholes embarrassed me, Julian. And you know what? They’re right.”
“No, they aren’t,” I growl at her. I grab her arms and pull her against me.
She struggles a little, but I hold her tight.
“We can’t do this,” she says.
“We absolutely can and we’re going to.”
“Julian, I don’t know.”
“Listen to me.” I pull her back and stare into her eyes. “I don’t care what those assholes think. I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks.”
“Maybe I do.”
That gets me. I flinch a little, but I don’t back down. “I think you’re lying.”
“What if I’m not? What if I care about what people think?”
“You don’t,” I say softly. “If you did, you wouldn’t be doing this at all. You’re more like me than you realize, Avery. You don’t give a fuck about anything else so long as it makes you happy and isn’t hurting anyone. Fuck what people think. We have each other and it feels good.”
She hesitates, biting her lip. “It feels good,” she echoes.
“God damn right.”
I pull her into a tight kiss and after a frosty moment, she kisses me back.
I hate those bastards back there, but when I pull back, I know one thing for sure.
Even if that was embarrassing, even if that sucked, this is making us stronger.
We aren’t perfect. I can see all the things that are standing in the way of her and me ever having something real. Fucking hell, her own mother hates me and thinks I’m a total asshole.
But I don’t care. None of it matters, not while I have Avery right here, right in my arms. I can feel myself tipping forward and I know I might never stop falling, and that thought feels so good.
13
Avery
I feel like I’m going off to war.
“Just be honest,” Julian says.
“Easy for you to say,” I grumble. “You’re not the one about to get verbally abused.”
He laughs a little. “You can handle it. Just be strong. Haylee needs that.”
I bounce my leg nervously, pages clutched in my hands. Julian comes around his desk and sits in the chair next to me. He puts his hand on my knee and I stop jostling.
“It’s okay,” he says softly. “You’re ready.”
I nod. I know he’s right. It’s been a week since that incident in the restaurant at lunch, and in the last week we’ve been working togethe
r on this pitch.
I know what I need to say. I have it all mapped out in my head. I don’t know how she’ll react, but I have some good arguments stored away just for this situation. I’ve been spending nights over at Julian’s and he’s been helping me get set up.
And we’ve been doing… other stuff. The sort of stuff that wouldn’t be appropriate in the workplace. He’s been keeping me up late, working my body, getting me off. It’s been a heady mix of sex and work and everything else, and it feels so, so good.
I can see this. I can see it all happening. I can see working with him day in and day out and having this relationship. I don’t know if he wants to take it beyond what we have right now, but there’s a part of me that’s starting to wonder.
I don’t want to tell him that, of course. I don’t want to seem weird or pathetic. We’re only just getting started, and this is my biggest test of all today. If I can get this book on track, he’s going to make me a partner.
And from there, who knows, but one step at a time.
Julian glances out his window and gives me a quick kiss. “For luck,” he says.
I blush a little. I don’t know why I still blush. I mean, the man’s seen and tasted every inch of my body, and yet a little kiss in his office drives me wild.
“I’ll need it.”
“Nah, you won’t.” He looks up again and smiles. I follow his gaze and spot Marcy pushing open his door.
“Julian, she’s here,” Marcy says, and gives me a pointed look.
I smile at her. “Thanks,” I say.
Everyone in the office knows about this meeting. I’ve been hearing the rumor mill going wild. Everyone keeps talking about how the boss is giving the most important account to some untrained, untested random girl. They all think it’s because I’m fucking him.
Well, they’re totally right.
Or maybe they’re not, at least not entirely. I don’t think he would’ve given me this chance if it weren’t for our relationship, but I also think he’s doing it because he genuinely believes in me. It’s a little bit of both. Nothing’s ever one thing.
I put it all out of my mind.
We stand up together.
“Go get her,” he says.
I nod once. I take a deep breath. And I march out of his office.
Haylee’s waiting for me in the conference room. She looks bored, but at least she’s nice and prepared. She has a bunch of pages in front of her, a new, fresh stack on one side, and the old pages in front of her with marks from our proofers and editors.