by Nikki Rome
She raised her head and said, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Can you tell me where you are going?”
She looked towards his arm where he had been shot and tears came to her eyes. He couldn’t let her leave him. He knew it was taking a risk, but he stepped forward and with his one good arm pulled her to his chest. Her body started shaking and within seconds he could feel her tears through his shirt. He leaned down and breathed in her scent. The familiarity of her made him weak in the knees. “You’re okay, I’ve got you…” he whispered into her ear.
Jason heard Mike get out of the car and then saw him walk around it. He opened the back door to the SUV. Jason rearranged his hold on Christy, pulling her towards the car. She kept her face hidden in his chest and didn’t look up at Mike; however, he felt her body tense as they passed him to get in. Jason directed her into the backseat and then got in behind her. He reached for her, pulling her close so he could hold her tight. Mike closed the door behind them and climbed back into the driver's seat. They drove in silence back to the apartment. He couldn’t ask for a better friend in Mike. Jason had no idea what would have happened if he had tried to make a go of finding her alone.
Chapter Twenty-Five
The car pulled into one of the reserved spots in the underground garage. Mike helped Jason get Christy into the elevator, then left them alone. When they arrived at the top floor, she looked up and pulled back from him. He stepped from the elevator and held his hand out to her. He would not force her to do this, he needed her to decide if she truly wanted to be with or without him. Holding his breath, he waited and watched the emotions run through her. The eyes he always found so expressive showed fear and anxiety. She took a step forward and placed her hand in his.
They walked slowly and when he noticed she was pulling towards the living room he said, “No, we are going to bed.”
“Jason, we need to talk, I can’t stay here,” she said, pulling her hand from his.
“We will talk Christy, but we will talk in bed where I can hold you, and then you can decide if you still love me.”
“Jason I–”
“Please Christy?” Exhausted after the day he’d had and with only adrenaline keeping him going for the last few days, he couldn’t fathom having an argument with her right now. He still had a splitting headache from his concussion and his arm was throbbing. He needed to lie down, but more than anything else, he needed her.
She nodded and sighed in relief. She started towards the bedroom and he followed close behind her. When they got inside, he realized the last time they had been here together was the night he proposed. It felt like ages ago instead of just a few days. He crossed the bedroom and headed towards their closet, stripping off his clothes as he went.
Christy didn’t know what to do, she just stood in the middle of the room with her heart beating against her chest. She raised her hand to feel that her cheek was damp with fresh tears. She knew she couldn’t stay here, but the thought of trying to leave him again was paralyzing. Her love for this man was deep and severe; he was always a part of her even when they weren’t together. When she wasn’t with him, she felt a void inside herself. She could deal with it though, knowing he was okay. If she stayed and something happened to him, that void would be there forever.
He stepped from the closet in nothing but a pair of soft sleep pants. Since he had on clothes, she realized he was serious about taking time to talk. That put her at ease for a minute. She wouldn’t have put it past him to try glossing over everything and distracting her with sex.
“Change into something comfortable. Here, let me take that,” he said as he crossed the room, pulling her purse from her arm and placing it on the chair where it always sat. She walked towards their closet and when she stepped inside, his scent assailed her. Her favorite part of sharing living space with him was that her clothes always smelled like him. She approached her side of the closet and pulled down a tank top and a cozy pair of sweatpants. She would sit and hear what he had to say, but there was no guarantee she would stay the night. As she changed, she reminded herself that she needed to stay strong to keep him safe. She needed to remember she could control what was happening in their life if she could force herself to leave.
After she changed, she stepped back into the bedroom and found Jason laying on top of the bed; he had propped himself up on some pillows. She could see bruising around the bandage on his arm and the sight of it upset her. He reached towards her and motioned for her to come towards him. She did.
Jason could see that this would be a tough conversation. He needed to do everything in his power to keep her comfortable so she would talk to him about what she was thinking. Patting the seat next to him, he gestured for her to approach the bed and come sit with him.
Once she settled in he began, “I know the last few days have been very difficult for you, but I also know that you have been through much worse, as have I. We are stronger together Christy, I need you to not only know that, but to believe it.”
Christy could hear the words he was saying. She even understood them. But fear was overwhelming every decision she needed to make. “I know you think that, but you don't know these people the way I do. They will stop at nothing to get back at me for what happened to their son.”
“We have no reason to believe the woman who shot me was working with Devon’s family. In fact, all the intel we've collected since that night leads us to believe that she was working on her own accord. What happened was not your fault. If anyone is to blame, it's me. I knew there was still a risk and I should have done a better job protecting you.”
“Protecting me? You're the one that got shot. I can't go on with my life here and pretend that I'm safe, pretend that you're safe. The choices I made in my past are mine to deal with, not yours,” she said.
“Christy, that's where you're wrong. The decisions you made in your past were in response to the decisions that I had made even before then. If I were there for you years ago, nothing would have ever happened. You would have been with me and you never would have been subjected to the abuse Devon put you through. We can't change the past, but we can work on our future. Christy, my future is with you. I know in my heart without you I have no future.”
“How can we live like this? I just don't know how to move on.”
“We'll do it together. You won’t have to do it alone. I will stand by your side for the rest of our lives. We don’t need to face these unbelievable difficulties forever. We will get through this and move on.”
She shook her head, not knowing what to say.
“I don’t know how,” she said with a shaky breath.
“Do you trust me?”
“Jason, I can’t answer that. I don’t know who I trust anymore,” she said as tears streamed down her face.
He reached forward and wiped them away with his thumb.
“I love you, more than anything in this world. I will live every day of my life showing you that and proving to you that you can trust me.”
He could see hope in her eyes, although she would never admit it. She was in pain and he would do anything to take it away, but he was smart enough to know he couldn't do it alone. She needed to want to be with him the same way he wanted to be with her. He could take away her pain if only she would trust him to.
Christy’s frustrations with her situation were at an all-time high. Her emotions were getting the best of her and she felt like she was going to spiral into a panic attack. Fear consumed her. “What if something else happens?”
“Nothing will happen.”
“You can’t say that, you don’t know.”
“Sweetie, you need to understand, I am not giving up on us. I will let nothing else happen.”
She looked away and whispered, “I’m scared.”
“I know,” he said, reaching for her hand and clasping it in his.
“I’m not scared for myself. I’m scared for you.”
“For me?”
; “I couldn’t survive if they hurt you again.”
“Christy, you realize I get hurt all the time in my line of work, right?”
“But that’s not my fault, and this is,” she said.
That’s when Jason realized where the actual fear was coming from. She’d left him to keep him safe. She said it in her letter, but it didn’t sink in until now. “Christy, will you stay with me tonight? I just want us to agree to take things day by day. You don't have to commit to forever. I'd like to spend the rest of the day here with you, in bed relaxing. You can even put on one of those terrible movies you like. I need a nap, but I need to know that I will not wake up and find you're gone again.” She said nothing, so he went on, “In the morning we will go down to my office, and we can pull out all the files on everything I have on Devon, his family, and the girlfriend. I should have never kept you in the dark before, I won't make that mistake again. It will be a lot and I know it will be hard, but I'll be right by your side the entire time.”
Christy looked at Jason, and she could see the exhaustion on his face. She realized although she was struggling and scared; he was struggling too. He had been through so much and she was being inconsiderate and selfish. “I'll stay,” she said, “I'll stay for tonight and I'll meet with you tomorrow; we will figure out what to do from there.”
Jason felt as if her words lifted a weight from his chest. He leaned back on the pillows and let his body relax. She pulled herself up on to her side of the bed, leaned over and took her earrings off and set them on her nightstand like she did every night that they spent together. The normalcy of that one action made his heart swell and gave him hope that they could work this out after all.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Jason was right, the next couple of days were hard. They had woken up that morning and headed straight down to the floors of the building that housed Calvano Security. He brought her to a briefing room, and that was where they spent most of the day. Jason had called out for lunch, but Christy didn’t have it in her to eat. She learned more about Devon and his family that day then she would have ever wanted to know. Although they had money and power, they weren’t as dangerous as Christy had thought. Turned out Devon had a family member that was running for a political office, so they were doing their best to separate themselves from Devon’s ugly past.
There were only two pictures of Devon and his most recent girlfriend. The firm had learned she’d became obsessed with him and struggled with mental illness in the past. After questioning friends of hers they learned she was a masochist and liked the way Devon treated her. The problem was Devon preferred his victims unwilling, so it didn’t last long. His family didn’t accept her, which is what drove him to seek Christy out again. They weren’t clear on how serious of a relationship they were in, but it was clear the woman felt they were meant to be together. The more Christy learned about her, the worse she felt for her. Maybe now she could rest in peace. The most startling news was the number of women who claimed Devon and his family had mistreated them. There were over twenty women they had located who had been through various types of abuse at the hands of his family over the years. The most concerning were the women Devon was with while they were dating.
After spending an entire day learning everything Jason had been keeping from her, she believed he was trying to protect her by keeping things from her. When they arrived back at the apartment that night, she found her therapist waiting at their door. Jason had called her and asked her to come. When they entered the apartment, he gave them space to talk. Christy spent some time with her that night, trying to process what she had learned. Then again, the next day, and the day after that. She felt as if she was spending more time talking to her therapist than she was talking to Jason. After a few days she had enough of him tiptoeing around her. They hadn’t been intimate since the day he’d proposed to her. At night they lay in bed and held each other, but he never made an advance. She needed to move on with her life and she knew in her heart she already had forgiven him for hiding things.
“Can we talk?” she said as she approached him in the kitchen.
“Ya, of course. Is everything okay?” She could hear the concern in his voice, and she realized she had broken his trust of her. Anytime they spoke, he seemed worried or scared of what she would say.
“I think we need to work some things out… between us.”
“Okay.” Jason walked towards the kettle on the stove and poured a cup of her favorite tea. He slid it across the counter towards her but didn’t make any move to sit down.
“Thank you. Why don’t you sit?” she asked, gesturing to the stool next to her. Jason rounded the counter and pulled out the chair, sitting as he looked at her.
“This needs to stop,” she said.
“What needs to stop?”
“This distance you have put between us. Unless you don’t want me anymore, and if that’s the case, you need to tell me now.”
“Christy, I always want you. I have just been trying to give you time so you could determine what you want for us.” He reached forward and placed a hand on her thigh. He had been so worried about not rushing her, he had lost focus on their relationship.
“It feels like more than that, and I don’t think we can get past it until I tell you what I have decided.”
“Decided?”
“I can’t live under a rock. I want to work, and I want to have something in this life that is fulfilling. I know you would prefer I just hide away in this apartment, but I can’t live like this. I am scared, terrified that something could happen to you because of me, but the truth is, you could get hurt on an assignment at the firm just as easily. I realize what I fear is losing you, not the way it could happen, just you not being here anymore,” she said.
Jason raised his hand to cup her cheek and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. “I love you and I will never leave you again. I promise you, Christy, even if I die, I’ll be the first soul ever to find his way back.”
She gave a soft laugh that melted his heart.
“I don’t want to leave you either. I want to stay. I will keep up with therapy, but not every day. I have to get back to some sense of normalcy… which includes a job.”
“I have an idea that could solve that job problem you keep mentioning,” he said with a glisten in his eye, “But right now, I want you.”
With that he stood, reached for her hand, and pulled her off the stool she was sitting on. He started forward, pulling her gently behind him. Knowing she would stay made the constant worry he felt ease. He needed to show his woman how much she meant to him. The physical part of their relationship was always important to both of them, and in his concern for rushing her, he neglected to reassure her how much he loved her. Tonight that would change. Then tomorrow he would tell her all about her new job on the legal counsel team for Calvano Security.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and it was time for Christy to admit Jason had been right. She’d been working for Calvano Security since the morning after she told him she wanted a job. The last thing she expected was that there would be a need for her to work for his company. Jason had hired her as an in-house counsel member for the firm. She handled all commercial and residential real estate purchases, which to her surprise were many. Because of the nature of the firm, they secured safe houses and locations that were temporary workstations all over the globe. They had to be owned under shell corporations for obvious reasons, and she spent most of her time sitting in front of a computer, much like she did at her old job.
The beautiful thing about it all was that she never needed to leave the building. She could work from their apartment on the top floor or in a gigantic office he set aside for her downstairs. It wasn’t that she feared to leave the safety of their building, but she preferred to do so with him. Anytime she ventured out, she was never alone. Her personal security had increased from only Mike to three guys overnight. She had become friends with Mike and
was comfortable around him, but he had other responsibilities so he couldn’t always be with her. Athena and Mac were a blast. She loved watching the two of them argue over every little thing they talked about. If Mac said the sky was blue, Athena would loudly disagree until he gave in. After some time, she realized it was just easier to stay put. If there was something she wanted to do Jason would take her.
Things were going well. The information she had learned about Devon’s family put her at ease and the distance between her and Jason was nonexistent. They were closer than ever, both emotionally and physically. When she worked downstairs, he would be in and out of her office all day, just checking in or to steal a kiss. When someone pulled him from her space into a meeting, she missed him. If she were working upstairs, he would work from home that day too. At first, she thought he was hovering. After a time, she realized his anxiety would get the best of him when he couldn’t see her. The big, strong, flawless man whom she loved more than anything else in the world couldn’t stand to be apart from her. She couldn’t be happier.
Between work and home life, everything seemed to go according to plan. She wasn’t sure whose plan it was, but it worked. The more she learned about Jason’s business, the more she learned about him. He built it from the ground up and cared for every guy who worked for him. They were brothers in arms, and most of them had been together for years. Watching him interact with everyone was a treat on its own. It seemed they all expected what each other needed, without even asking. The transition for Jason to travel less was seamless. She wondered if he realized what was happening. When specific jobs would come up, others began working under the assumption that they would go in his place. Mike had stepped up his responsibilities as the second in charge and was now handling all overseas clients, which left Jason more time at home. She had learned Mike owned the company with Jason and still thought it was weird and a little cute that he called him boss. They had a strange dynamic that worked well for them.