Instead, all he felt was a sense of peace as the rain plastered the windows and the wind howled across the land. This peace was something he’d never experienced before in his life. For the first time, he felt content and settled, and so happy he couldn’t stop grinning.
His entire life, the dark fae had dominated the lycan part of him, but now that Lexi was in his arms, he realized the lycan was making itself known more than he realized.
The dark fae had dominated power-wise, but he hadn’t realized the incessant, churning emptiness within him could be silenced. He’d always assumed that was what drove the dark fae from one partner to the next, but now, it was gone, and he now knew it had been coming from the lycan part of him.
She’d calmed that loneliness.
It was not completely silenced; the lycan still clamored to claim her to be completely pacified, but it was quieter and more content, and it would stop completely once he officially made her his.
But that could wait. She was just learning the ways of a man and woman; he would not tell her about his intentions to claim her for all eternity yet. He would do it soon, but for now, he intended for her to enjoy what was developing between them without any added pressure.
As he held her, he recalled watching as she wandered into the moon room. The luna flowers had reacted to her as if she were part lycan; they must have sensed she was his mate before he did. They’d been seeking to welcome her because they’d known she would become an integral part of his life.
He held her closer as he kissed the top of her head. The sweet scent of strawberries filled his nose and further calmed the lycan. The dark fae was still hungry, but it could also wait.
He wouldn’t feed on her without her permission, and even if she didn’t give it, there wouldn’t be any other women for him.
• • •
Lexi floated on a haze of euphoria as she remained cradled safely in his arms. She’d never felt so protected or cherished before. She wasn’t sure how long this feeling would last as he would eventually move on, but she was completely content to enjoy it for now.
The solid beat of his heart beneath her ear caused her to smile. She caressed the wall of muscle as she ran her fingers across his chest. She’d never dreamed of experiencing such a rush of pleasure or such wondrous contentment afterward.
She never wanted to leave this bed or his arms.
But reality was returning, and so was the realization she was wading into dangerous territory. She’d told herself not to develop feelings for him, but it was already too late. Even if it resulted in a shattered heart, she would ride this adventure to the end.
Was this what it was like to be shadow kissed? The possibility made her mouth go dry. She couldn’t become like one of them.
“Cole?” she whispered.
“Yes?” he asked as he twirled a strand of her hair around his finger.
“Will I become one of the shadow kissed?”
His hand stilled on her hair. “No.”
“Are you sure?” She lifted her head so she could look up at him. “I don’t want to be one of them. I know….” She gulped. “I know it's what the dark fae sometimes do, and I… I… can’t be one of them.”
“Then you won’t be. The shadow kissed are like that because it’s what they crave. Yes, the dark fae help guide them there, but the choice is theirs to make. Some let the dark fae feed on them and go on with their lives, and others seek more. Instead of shutting those cravings down, they search out more and more until it consumes them.”
She pondered this as she tapped her fingers on his chest. “So, it's like some humans with their drugs?”
“Yes.”
After what she’d experienced with him, she could see how easy it would be to become consumed by the need for more. She’d hate to walk away from him, but she would choose that over being shadow kissed.
“So, I won’t become one of them?”
“Not unless you allow it,” he murmured as he nuzzled her temple with his lips. “The shadow kissed have to let us corrupt them. As long as you don’t allow it, you’ll be fine.”
He could be lying to her and playing one of the dark fae games, but she didn’t think so. She wouldn’t fool herself into believing he was a kind, compassionate man, but he wasn’t a liar.
“Okay,” she said.
She stifled a yawn and her eyes closed. She was starting to doze when she recalled what happened earlier. They flew open again. She felt safe in his arms, but he was awake now.
What would happen if he fell asleep again?
That dose of cold reality smothered some of her happiness, but she refused to let it ruin the joy she’d discovered in him. The rain ticked against the glass as it pelted the windows.
He shifted to pull the blankets more securely around her. “You should sleep.”
“I’m okay,” she murmured as she stifled a yawn.
He clasped her hand and stilled it against his chest before kissing her head and her cheek. She warmed to the tender gesture and lifted her mouth to his.
When Brokk was better, he would leave, and she might never see him again. Until then, she planned to enjoy every second of what little time they had together.
She started to melt into him again when he pulled away and kissed the tip of her nose.
“Rest,” he commanded and tipped his head back to rest it against the headboard.
She tilted her head up to take in the vast expanse of his chest and dark ciphers. She traced his markings before her hand fell onto his stomach and her eyes closed again. Another clap of thunder caused them to fly open once more.
If he fell asleep and the thunder caused him to dream of the war again, what would happen?
CHAPTER 48
When her lashes fluttered open to tickle his chest again, Cole realized what was keeping her awake… fear. He ground his teeth together as self-hatred swelled within him. The last thing he wanted was for her to be nervous around him, but he couldn’t blame her for being wary.
“Go to sleep, Lexi. I’ll stay awake,” he promised.
“I’m not that tired,” she murmured.
“Yes, you are. Get some rest, and I’ll keep watch.”
“That’s not fair,” she protested.
“You’re safe with me, and I’m going to make sure you stay that way. Rest.”
He ran his fingers through her thick, silken hair and let it cascade across his chest as he marveled at the different shades of red within the striking color. When he glided his fingers down her back, he delighted in the small shiver it elicited from her.
“You have to rest too,” she said.
“I’m fine,” he said.
He let her hair fall, settled a hand on her ass, and gave it a small squeeze. His cock stirred again, but his concern for her shoved aside his growing lust. She was not ready for what he desired to do to her again.
• • •
Lexi rested her hands on his chest and started to rise. She hated leaving the security of his arms, but she couldn’t stay here if it meant he spent the rest of the night sitting up, awake, in the dark.
His bright blue eyes met hers as his hand returned to her hair. He brushed it away from her temple before cupping her nape.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered.
Lexi thrilled at his words as he kissed her again and pulled away. She almost moaned in disappointment but managed to stifle it.
“And you’re extremely handsome.” The words were out of her mouth before she realized she was about to say them. She hated the blush burning across her cheeks.
He grinned at her. “I’m glad you think so. Now, are you going to sleep or not?”
“I should return to my room. You need to sleep.”
His arms locked around her, and he pulled her firmly against his chest. “No. I want you to stay with me far more than I want to sleep.”
“But—”
“I want you to stay here… unless you’d prefer to go.”
“No, I wo
uldn’t.”
“Then relax and stay here with me. I promise you’ll be safe.”
“I know I will.”
And she did know that. Despite what happened earlier, she trusted him not to hurt her again.
• • •
Cole held her firmly against his chest as she rested her head on him once more. Her thick lashes tickled his skin as her eyes closed. This time, they didn’t open again.
He held her close as he listened to the rain. A dull throbbing in his jaw drew his attention to it. He rubbed it absently as he recalled the blow that propelled him out of his nightmare. He smiled; his mate packed one hell of a punch.
Her body relaxed against him, and her breathing slowed as sleep claimed her. Even after what happened earlier, she trusted him, and he would do whatever it took to make sure he earned her trust.
He might never sleep again, but it would be worth it if it meant he got to hold her every night. Because, if he had his way, she would be in his bed every night for the rest of eternity.
CHAPTER 49
Lexi spent most of the next morning walking around in a haze of euphoria. She finally understood what someone meant when they said they were walking on cloud nine as she turned the horses loose and cleaned the stalls.
She fully expected that cloud to burst sometime soon, but for now, she was content to ride it.
When she returned to the house, she showered and changed before going to the kitchen to make her breakfast. Thankfully, Sahira was nowhere around.
She couldn’t handle her aunt’s questions right now, and she knew they would come as she couldn’t get rid of the stupid grin on her face.
After eating her breakfast, she went to the library and settled on her chair to read. Her gaze kept traveling to the fireplace. She’d done a good job at shoving Orin out of her mind, but after last night, she couldn’t deny the guilt nagging at her.
Orin was a complete asshole, but she didn’t want to see anything bad happen to him. However, after last night, she couldn’t help but feel guilty over harboring him beneath her home. Cole and Brokk were hunting him, and she knew where he was.
Not for much longer. The first chance she got, she was going to get him out of her tunnels, and she didn’t care if he wanted to go or not. He didn’t have a choice anymore.
Or maybe she’d get lucky and he’d find his way out. He was probably pretty pissed she hadn’t returned yet. Until she got the chance to kick him out, she would have to deal with her guilt over keeping this from Cole.
She did so by ignoring it.
Almost an hour passed before Cole entered the room, closed the doors behind him, and strode toward her. It was the first time he’d shut them, and it would draw attention to them, but she didn’t care as he prowled toward her in his too-small clothes and bare feet.
There was something almost feral about him as he approached. Her heart picked up, and her skin prickled as her body responded to the hunger he emanated.
He stopped before her and, with tender care, slid his arms under her and lifted her from the chair. He settled her on his lap as he sat on the chair. The intimate, possessive gesture surprised her.
She didn’t know what she’d expected from him today, but now that he’d settled her across his legs, with his arms around her, she realized a part of her had worried he’d pretend the whole thing never happened or ignore her.
She wasn’t sure which one of those things would be more painful.
He’d been dressed and about to leave the room when she woke this morning. He bent to kiss her and told her he was going to check on Brokk before leaving. Things had been normal, even sweet, but she still hadn’t known what to expect from him.
“How are you feeling?” he asked as he lifted a strand of her damp hair and twirled it around his finger.
“Happy,” she admitted.
Maybe it was wrong to be so honest with him—dark fae weren’t known to care about other’s feelings—but he’d asked, and that was more than she would have expected from a dark fae.
When he smiled at her, the twinkle in his eyes made her heart do a strange little stutter before melting. It wasn’t fair that he was so damn irresistible.
“How are you feeling?” she asked.
“Happy,” he replied.
Lexi’s mouth parted at this admission. Was he happy because of her?
She didn’t dare ask him.
Then his smile faded as his eyes fell to her neck and the faint bruises marring her skin. They were fading as she healed, but his fingers trembled when he rested them against the marks. At least the welt on her head was gone.
“This will never happen again,” he vowed.
“You were dreaming about the war, weren’t you?” she asked.
She held her breath as she waited for his reply. Would he admit the truth or deny it, or maybe she was wrong completely and something else had pushed him to such a point last night.
“Yes,” he said.
“Do you dream about it often?”
His eyes met and held hers as he replied. “Not since coming here.”
“Why not?”
“Who knows.”
She suspected he knew, but she didn’t push him on it. He’d been far more open with her than she’d ever expected, and she wasn’t going to take the chance of him shutting down.
“The thunder and lightning must have set the nightmares off last night,” he said as he stroked the bruises on her neck.
“I’m fine,” she assured him when self-loathing filled his gaze.
His fingers stilled on her. “Are you sore?”
“No, I told you already; the bruises are almost gone.”
“I didn’t mean here.” He tapped her neck before running his fingers down her breasts. He skimmed her belly and slid his hand between her legs. She gasped when he cupped her. “I meant here.”
It took her a minute to sputter a response as fire burned her cheeks. “I was earlier, but not anymore.”
“Good,” he said as he caressed her through her jeans.
Lexi lost herself to his touch until she was panting and her body begged for release. Undoing her jeans, she helped slide them down her thighs, and she kicked them off with her feet.
Leaning back, his eyes turned to silver when they latched on to her lacy, purple underwear. She’d selected the sheer pair in the hopes he would like them. It was obvious he did as he tugged them off.
She shouldn’t let this happen here, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop it. When he tugged her shirt up, she lifted her arms as he pulled it over her head. He smiled when he saw her bra matched her underwear.
“The doors,” she managed to pant out when he removed her from his lap and settled her on the chair before kissing her belly.
“I locked them,” he said as he left a trail of kisses across her skin.
A shiver ran through her when she realized this was what he anticipated when he entered the room. Making his way steadily lower, he slid off the chair and knelt on the rug. He grasped her legs and spun her toward him.
She didn’t know what he intended until he slid her legs over his shoulders. She started to pull away, but he gripped her ass and held her in place. His eyes burned as they met hers.
“I’ve imagined tasting you since the moment I saw you,” he said.
Her eyes widened at this revelation, and before she could protest, he lowered his mouth to her core. At first, she was so stunned, she couldn’t react.
And then his tongue delved deep inside her. She remained rigid for a few seconds, but his tongue melted any of her uncertainty about such an act.
Forgetting all about her shyness, her fingers entwined in his hair as she pulled him closer. His short beard rubbed the inside of her thighs in the most delicious of ways. He kept one hand on her ass while the other roamed up her body to cup one of her breasts.
Lexi arched into him as his mouth and hand worked their magic over her body. Her heels dug into his back, and her fingers gripped his ears
as he brought her to climax. She bit her bottom lip to stifle her cries.
She was still floating on a cloud of bliss when he lowered her legs from his shoulders and rose. With deft movements, he quickly shed his clothes.
Though she’d seen all of him last night, she still couldn’t get over how powerful and large he was. Gripping her hips, he shifted her on the chair and turned her, so her hands rested on the chair arm.
Lexi wasn’t entirely sure what he intended until he stepped behind her and lifted her hips. His dick slid inside, and he buried himself deep within her. Unlike last night, her body swiftly adjusted to having him inside her.
Her fingers bit into the thick cushion of the overstuffed armchair as he introduced her to this new position. There was something so thrilling about having him behind her, controlling her, and demanding more that it aroused her even more.
As he pulled slowly out of her before thrusting deep again, she closed her eyes and gave herself over to him. He guided her hips as her breasts swayed, and his movements became more demanding.
“Fuck,” he groaned. “You’re so fucking hot and tight, and you’re mine.”
That last word caused her eyes to fly open, but as her mind scrambled to understand what he meant, he reached around to cup her breast with one hand while the other slid between her legs. She forgot all about her shock at his words as he caressed her clit.
Her back bowed, and her head fell back as she came again. Cole plunged into her once more before shuddering. She felt the pulse of his cock as he released his seed.
He sagged against her and pressed his cheek to her back before kissing the hollow between her shoulder blades. His mouth and tongue left a trail of heat down her body as he moved steadily lower.
With tender care, he pulled out of her and shifted his hold so he could slide onto the chair. He pulled her onto his lap once more. She curled up against his chest and rested her head on his shoulder. Beneath her hand, his heart raced.
“That was… nice,” she murmured.
His laughter startled her. She lifted her head to take him in as his chest rumbled and his blue eyes twinkled in amusement.
Shadows of Fire (The Shadow Realms, Book 1) Page 20