by Mary Smith
“Why?” The sincerity changed to concern.
“Because it means she trusts me.” His voice cracked.
“That’s not a bad thing, Cabel.”
There was a long pause. “You know I never thought I had trust issues until I saw this key.” Cabel inspected the teeth of the key.
“Cabel.” Chloe put down her cup. “There’s no reason for you and Caryn to have trust issues.”
“I have them. She doesn’t. It’s evident by this.” He held it up for her to see it again.
Their eyes were locked for several seconds. “Say it.” Chloe broke the silence. “Say what you’ve kept locked up for over five years.”
He knew she would be the only one to challenge him in such a manner. She knew him better than anyone else.
But could he say it? Even though they had had their arguments over the years, they were never harsh toward each other.
“I want to hear everything you’ve kept inside of you.” Chloe moved closer placing her hand on his upper arm. “I’m a lesbian.”
Those three words changed numerous people’s lives, not just hers or his, but the girls’ too. Yet, in true Cabel fashion, he comforted his crying wife, letting her know it would all be okay. They didn’t even hire a lawyer for their divorce. Cabel googled it all, filled out all the paperwork, and told her what to do.
Tears burned behind his eyes. “You broke me.”
He said it. He swore he would never tell her.
“I never meant to lie to myself for so many years.”
“You were the only woman I ever loved.” A tear fell from his eyes. “I trusted you with my heart, my love, my…everything.” Tears rolled down faster. “Now, this…this incredible woman loves me, gave me a key, and I’m scared.”
Chloe hung her head, took a deep breath, and faced him. “I never wanted to hurt you. You still are my best friend. You are forever tied to me because we created two amazing humans. And I will always, always love you. You are the only person who has been a constant in my life, and I love you, but your heart belongs to Caryn.”
His eyes widened. He didn’t think she could see it.
“She made you whole again. You walked around here like everything was perfect. Hell, you gave me away at my wedding. No man that I know of would have done that for his ex-wife.”
“I’m being childish.” Cabel felt horrible because she was right.
“No, you’re not. Do you know what I wished for months after I came out?”
Cabel shook his head.
“I wanted you to yell. I wanted you to scream. Something other than being supportive and perfect.”
“What? You wanted me to be an ass.” He truly thought he misunderstood what she meant.
“Not an ass, per se. just not so damn nice.” She smirked.
Trying not to smile, he knew what she truly was trying to say.
“Listen, don’t fear a key. You and Caryn are a great couple. Bria and Leia love her, and neither can stop talking about her.” She hugged Cabel.
Long ago, holding her close was all he needed to make the world right. However, now…it wasn’t the same.
“I’m sorry I hurt you. I truly never meant to cause you any pain.”
“I know.” Cabel released her.
“Go, Cabel. Go and be with her because you—of all people—deserve it.”
Cabel stepped off the elevator and walked toward Caryn’s office. His morning had been strange but eye opening and life changing. They had had a lot of ups and downs, probably more than others, but he wouldn’t change a thing. In fact, he wanted them to have a future together.
“Hi, Toni,” Cabel greeted Caryn’s assistant.
“Hey.” She beamed. “Is Caryn expecting you?” She quickly glanced at the computer screen.
“No, I’m hoping to get five minutes,” he slightly begged.
“Um…” She clicked around the screen with the mouse. “Sure, she’s on a conference call right now. Do you mind waiting out here?” She seemed unsure of the question.
“I don’t mind at all.” He smiled and took a seat along the wall.
Pulling out his phone he checked his messages.
Leia: Dad, bring milk, cheese, and bread home tonight.
Bria: Daddy, my play is Sunday. Don’t forget.
His daughters brought him the greatest joy even as his emails piled up. Tapping the calendar app, he made sure Bria’s play had been added.
“Cabel, she’ll see you now.”
“Thank you.” He stood up and went into her office.
“Hey, you.” His beautiful girlfriend had been walking to the door.
Cabel didn’t say anything, just cupped her face and kissed her. “We need to talk,” he said when they finally parted.
“Sure.” She took his hand and led him toward the couch. “Do I need to put on my therapy hat?”
“No, I don’t think so.” He kept his body toward her, and she mirrored his. He took a deep breath and told her about everything that started that morning until the moment it brought him into her office. He watched her face remain expressionless until he finished.
“You flipped out because I gave you access to my place. And you realized the trust issues you had was because of Chloe.” She abridged everything he said.
“Yes, and I love you.” He reached into his suit jacket pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. “I don’t have keys anymore. This is the code into the house and the alarm.”
Caryn giggled, taking the paper from him. He noticed her eyes were becoming misty as she stared at the numbers. “This means a lot, Cabel. I love you.”
Their kiss began as a gentle, tender touch between them but quickly changed. Cabel covered her with his body and ignored the confines of his tailored suit. He even forgot they were in her office until Toni’s voice broke into the air.
“Caryn, your three o’clock is here.”
They moved apart quickly. “Thank you,” she called out.
“Were you thanking me or her?” Cabel joked.
“Both.” She winked, kissing him and smiling. “You need to get to your therapy appointment.”
“Okay, I’ll see you later.”
He walked to his car with a stride of confidence in his step. Sitting in his car, in traffic, an idea hit him. A crazy, insane, perfect idea.
Hitting the phone command, he said the one name that would change his future.
“Call Oliver Matthews.”
“Why?” Caryn handed him a takeout container of fried rice.
“Because you’re the one person who can get anyone to talk.” Cabel passed the rice back to Leia.
“I think you should kick him out of New Hampshire.” Leia rolled her eyes.
“No one has the ability to kick anyone out of a state,” Cabel corrected his daughter.
“Obviously, you don’t use your social media correctly then,” Leia muttered, reaching for the crab rangoon.
“I think you talking to Jackson will help more than kicking him out of the state.” Cabel picked up his chopsticks.
“I’m not saying no.” Caryn grabbed an eggroll. “It seems like he’s already made up his mind.”
“You’ve dealt with tough patients before and got them to open up.” He sipped his pop.
“Yes.” She sighed. “He’s different.”
“Didn’t you take an oath?” Leia questioned.
“You’re going to make an outstanding lawyer,” Caryn complimented her. “And I’ll do it.” She turned to Cabel.
“Great.” Cabel picked up a piece of chicken and dipped it into the sweet and sour sauce. “I can get it set up.”
Leia was the one who changed the topic and began talking about her classes. Even though Cabel had been completely unsure about the virtual high school, she proved him wrong. Her grades were higher than ever before, and she was thrilled to talk about school and homework now. Always proud of her, no matter what, he was just happy she was happy. The conversation he had with Oliver ran through his head, bu
t he kept it to himself.
For now.
Chapter Twelve
Driving to Nashua hadn’t been on her to-do list, but she pulled into a parking space and made her way to the Tigers locker room.
She gave her name to the security guard, and he gave her directions to the office where she was to meet Jackson. Normally, meeting a new client brought a strange combination of excitement and nervousness. Not this time. She had a mixture of anger and hatred for him.
She shouldn’t but she did.
Opening the door, she found Jackson sitting in one of the chairs against the wall. He didn’t greet her.
“I don’t believe I’m late.” She walked over to him holding out her hand. “I’m Caryn Hammonds.”
He stared at her outstretched hand for a few seconds before shaking it. “Jackson Plumley.” He quickly dropped it. “But I guess you knew that already.”
She took the chair adjacent from his. “I’m sure you knew who I am.”
Nodding, Jackson looked away. Then Caryn took in his features. She hadn’t seen him up close before, just on interviews. He was handsome, in an arrogant way. His frame was a bit lankier than many of the players but still muscular. The reddish tint in his brown hair brought out his hazel eyes.
“I guess you’re here to shrink my head.”
“Not really. I’m just here to chat.” She shrugged nonchalantly.
“Yeah, right.” He scoffed.
Taking a deep breath, she turned on her tough love persona. “Look, Jackson, I’m here out of courtesy for Oliver, Taden, and Cabel because for some strange reason, they believe in you and your talent. Personally, I think you’re a punk kid who is used to getting whatever you want and never had to work for anything.”
She had no clue if any of it was true because she knew nothing about him. She needed him to open up, and she believed this would be the way to do it.
“You don’t know fuck,” he growled at her as his face turned red.
“Oh, I don’t? Well, then tell me what I should know. Or should I just make it up?” The bitterness of her words made her realize she needed to keep in it check.
His red face grew brighter, but instead of yelling at her, he dropped his head. Caryn waited for the yelling, but it never came.
A full minute went by before he said, “What do I have to do to get out of New Hampshire?” He raised his head.
“Excuse me?” She must not have heard his question correctly.
“I have to get out of New Hampshire.”
Caryn noticed his eyes were filling up with tears. She quickly changed gears. “Tell me why?” Her tone softened.
“So, you can run off and tell everyone. Then you all can have a grand laugh at my expense.”
Leaning forward she became deeply concerned. Pain was painted all over his face. “I would never tell anyone, Jackson.”
“Yeah, right.” He scoffed, crossing his arms.
“I’m serious.” Firmly stated, she waited for a response. When none came she said, “You can’t keep whatever is wrong buried inside of you.”
Glaring at her, he said, “I’ve been doing it for three years.”
She waited for him to continue, but he remained quiet. He avoided all eye contact with her, but she continued to wait. Being in this situation before with other clients, she knew to wait him out. She could do it too. Toni had cleared her entire day, and she wouldn’t leave anyway. Jackson was holding something back. For three years, it had been eating away at him. There would be no way he could hold it anymore.
“May I ask you a few more questions?” Caryn figured she’d start slowly.
“Whatever.” He shrugged. “I won’t answer them.”
“That’s fine.” She leaned back in the chair. “Are you American or Canadian?”
“American.” He did answer her.
“Siblings?”
“I have a twin sister, Robin.” He continued to respond to her. “My dad is a massive baseball fan and wanted to name us Jackie Robinson but had to compromise with Mom.”
“Seems reasonable.” She agreed. “When did you start playing hockey?”
“Far back as I can remember.” His voice lowered.
“When did you want to play in the PHL?”
“I didn’t want to,” he practically whispered. “I never wanted to be here.”
She didn’t expect any of those words to come out of his mouth. Any player she would ask that question to would always say they wanted to be in the league since they were a child.
“Why?”
Jackson shook his head. “I think we’ve talked enough today.”
Caryn didn’t believe she could let this go, but she had to make sure it would be his idea to go on with the conversation. “We have talked a lot. I appreciate it too. You and I don’t know each other. However, I have a few things I do want to say.”
He stiffened up, waiting for her words.
“I’m Oliver’s daughter. I found out because my mother left me a letter after she died.”
Even though he now knew she was his daughter, she felt like she needed to say it again. He seemed shocked to learn of the details of her finding out.
“You can’t believe how incredibly hard it was on me. See, at the time, I had no one in my life. My mother was it. I truly felt alone and then one letter changed my life. It changed in a way I could never imagine. I have a father now, which led me to my boyfriend. Leading me to being in love. Also, something I never saw coming.”
“Is there a point?” His tough guy attitude was completely fake.
“Thank you.”
“Huh?” He furrowed his brow.
“Because of your sneaky backstabbing, you made me see how many great things I had going on in my life. So, thank you, Jackson.”
He still remained confused at first as if she spoke in a different language. He stared at her with a glazed over look. Finally, it began to click that she knew he had gone to Jerry Cannon’s show. “Um…you’re welcome. I guess.”
“You don’t think I’m sincere, do you?” Now, she crossed her arms.
“No.”
“I am because you really did help me. Why is it so hard for you to believe it? Are you the type not to handle compliments?”
Lifting one shoulder in a shrug, he confessed, “My parents didn’t believe in it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Exactly as I said. If I got an A, I should have had an A plus. If I’m drafted number two in the first round, I should have been number one.” With each word, he grew angrier and his face reddened as well.
Caryn began to understand a little bit more about him and listened intently to every word. She tried to pick up on any and every clue from him. “What if you did something nice for someone? Would you get rewarded?”
“Nice?”
“Yes.”
“Never have.”
“You’ve never done anything nice for anyone? Ever?” She didn’t think it was possible. Everyone had done something nice for someone. “Even your sister?”
“If you don’t achieve it on your own, then you shouldn’t have it.”
Tilting her head, Caryn thought about the phrase for a second. It had to be something drilled in his head. His parents had to be the ones to do it.
“Do you want to go back to the Bears?”
With that question, Jackson stood up and walked out of the room.
Caryn sat in Oliver’s office and checked out the announcement from the Bears’ Public Relations department. They cleared up the rumors of Caryn and Oliver’s alleged dating relationship. It had been confirmed they were father and daughter. It was out in the world and couldn’t be taken back. She went over to the couch that faced the arena and stared out at the ice.
“You’re pale?”
She looked over at Oliver. “I’m dealing with everything in my head.”
Oliver sat on the couch next to her. “I’m happy the whole world knows.” He patted her knee. “My only regret in my life was n
ot fighting harder for Samantha. She truly was the love of my life.”
His words warmed her heart.
“I hate that I missed so much of your life. However, I will not miss another day. Plus, I will make up for the ones I missed.”
She giggled. “You’ve done a lot for me this past year already, Oliver.”
“I know but it still doesn’t make up for lost time.”
Nodding, Caryn understood what he meant. “Oliver, it’s truly okay.” Since the moment she told him who she was, he had been there for her no matter the time or where he was. “You’re going to be here from now on.”
“I am.” He vowed.
Knock. Knock.
“Come in,” Oliver bellowed.
Cabel walked into the office. “Hey.” He smiled at Caryn. “I thought you were at the salon getting ready for the fundraiser.”
“I was going to have lunch with Oliver first,” she told him. “And talk to you both about Jackson.”
Oliver groaned, “I thought when you didn’t say anything you figured he was just a young punk.”
Cabel sat down on the arm of the couch.
“He’s not a punk. There’s something there. I’d like to ask a favor.” She glanced at them both.
“What is it?” Cabel asked.
“Bring him back to Manchester, and we’ll make him come see me on a weekly basis.”
Oliver sighed and looked up at the ceiling. She knew the decision would be theirs to make. The Bears was their business and right now they needed all hands on deck to climb out of the hole they’re in.
“What did he tell you?” Oliver questioned then stood up and began to pace.
“I can’t tell you that, but he needs therapy. Bring him back here, make him see me, and continue to be his friend,” Caryn told Cabel directly.
Oliver and Cabel had a silent conversation with each other until Oliver tossed his hands up in defeat.
“Put him on the fourth line and only allow him on the ice if absolutely necessary. End of discussion.”
Caryn stood up and hugged her father. “Thank you.”
He hugged her back. “Only for you.”
“I know.” She stepped back. “Now I need to go and see if a high dollar salon can make me beautiful.”