by Marni Mann
Praise for When Ashes Fall
"A breathtakingly beautiful and deeply moving story. When Ashes Fall owned my emotions to the very last word." —Jodi Ellen Malpas, #1 New York Times Best-Selling Author
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"Sucked in completely and jealous of such a clever story! You won't put this one down. Marni will have readers desperate for every soul gripping page..." —Rachel Van Dyken, #1 New York Times Best-Selling Author
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"Every once in a while we come across that rare book. The one that reminds us of why we have the overpowering ache to read and feel. When Ashes Fall is one of those books! Read it, live it, treasure it." —TotallyBooked Blog
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"When Ashes Fall gripped me from page one. The layers of the story and the characters unfold beautifully and the payoff is more than I could have imagined. It will break your heart and put it back together again." —Sarah, Frolic Media
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"I can honestly say this book is her best work to date!" —Ratula, Bookgasms Book Blog
Contents
Playlist
Part I
1. Alix
2. Dylan
3. Alix
4. Alix
5. Dylan
6. Alix
7. Dylan
8. Alix
9. Dylan
10. Alix
11. Alix
12. Dylan
13. Alix
14. Dylan
15. Alix
16. Alix
17. Dylan
18. Alix
19. Alix
20. Dylan
21. Alix
22. Alix
23. Dylan
24. Alix
25. Alix
26. Alix
27. Smith
28. Alix
29. Dylan
30. Alix
31. Alix
32. Smith
33. Alix
Part II
34. Dylan
35. Alix
36. Smith
37. Alix
38. Smith
39. Dylan
40. Alix
41. Smith
42. Alix
43. Smith
44. Alix
45. Smith
46. Alix
47. Dylan
48. Smith
49. Alix
50. Dylan
51. Alix
52. Alix
53. Smith
54. Dylan
55. Alix
56. Smith
Epilogue
Author’s Note
Acknowledgments
Spoiler Group
Newsletter
Marni’s Midnighters
About the Author
Also by Marni Mann
Sneak Peek of Memoirs Aren’t Fairytales
Sneak Peek of The Unblocked Collection
Copyright © 2018 by Marni Mann
All rights reserved.
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Visit my website at: www.MarniSMann.com
Cover Designer: Letitia Hasser, R.B.A Designs
Editor: Jovana Shirley, Unforeseen Editing, www.unforeseenediting.com
Proofreader: Judy Zweifel, Judy’s Proofreading, and Kaitie Reister
Introduction Quote: Melissa Mann
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No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
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ISBN-13: 978-1790378418
For Irving and Honey.
Thank you for giving me Boston.
I hold it as close as the both of you.
Playlist
“Like a River Runs”—Bleachers, Sia
“Only If for a Night”—Florence + The Machine
“Like That”—Bea Miller
“Better With You”—Michl
“Nevermind”—Dennis Lloyd
“Big God”—Florence + The Machine
“Arsonist’s Lullabye”—Hozier
“Love into the Light”—Kesha
Part One
I always heard music. Beats, lyrics. I only had to listen to a song once before it started playing in my head.
One day … the music stopped.
One
Alix
Present Day
“Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?” I said into the headset as I stared at the computer screen.
While I waited for a response, I sucked in a deep breath and rested my fingers on the keyboard, my thumb gently tapping the space bar but not hard enough to actually press it down. My body tensed. The tips of my toes ground into the bottom of my shoes.
It was a ritual.
One I repeated every time I answered a call.
“I’m at the Public Garden,” the woman said. “And a man just fell off one of the benches. He’s on the ground, screaming. You can probably hear him in the background. It looks like he hurt his arm or something.”
Once I processed her description, my chest loosened.
The air I’d been holding in slowly made its way through my lips.
The tapping stopped.
“What’s your name?” I asked.
“Why do you need that?”
“It’s for our records and also so I know what to call you.”
“I’m not comfortable with giving you my last name, but my first name is Rachel.”
“Rachel,” I repeated as I typed it into the system, “do you know the man’s name?”
“I don’t know him. I was just walking by with my boyfriend, and I saw it happen.”
“Are you able to get close to him and ask if he’s okay?”
“Look, I’m just calling out of courtesy. I don’t have time to go over and assess the man.”
Before I could respond, Rachel disconnected the call.
So, I finished typing up my notes and dispatched the emergency response team to the Public Garden. Before they even left the firehouse, they’d know the man could be suffering from a broken arm, shoulder, or even head trauma and that no other symptoms had been reported.
Once I finished all the coding, I logged off and removed the headset. Then, I took out my bag from the bottom drawer and reached inside for my cell. I found Rose’s last text and started typing.
Me: I’m not going to make it. I’m exhausted.
Rose: If you don’t show up, I’m going to walk to your townhouse and drag your ass out. It’s your choice.
Me: I’m leaving work right now. See you in 15.
Rose: I got us a table outside, right in front. You can’t miss me.
I put the phone back in my bag and stood from the desk, making my way through the call center. This was where most of the emergency and non-emergency calls were answered for each district of Boston. Where we worked eight-hour shifts and handled over a thousand calls a day.
I wondered if I’d have the same ritual tomorrow.
Or if I’d have a different one.
Or maybe I wouldn’t have one at all.
That thought was interrupted when I heard, “Alix,” as I walked by Marla’s office.
I stopped reluctantly and turned around, backtracking until I was in her doorway. “Hey,” I said, watching her smile as she got up from her chair.
Marla was an officer and had been supervising this dep
artment for the six years I’d been employed by the city. I’d met her while I was in the EMT recruit academy when I was first hired.
She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and hugged me. “I hope today went all right.”
I closed my eyes and made sure she didn’t hear me sigh.
This was what I hadn’t wanted.
Along with the extra-big smiles from my coworkers when I had walked into the call center earlier today.
And the card that had been slipped into my desk, which I’d opened before my shift.
And the invitation to lunch I had declined.
It was all really unnecessary.
And way too much.
I squeezed her back because it was the right thing to do and said, “Yes, today went fine.” Then, I immediately pulled away.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Of course.”
I wondered if tomorrow would feel different.
I thought about that as I made my way through the police headquarters.
This building was so busy with employees, many of whom I’d met. Maybe even close to all of them. If they saw me, they’d want me to stop walking. They’d want to talk.
Some might even want to hug me.
To avoid any type of contact, I took out my phone and held it to my ear, pretending to be in a serious conversation. At the same time, I stayed to the left side of each room I passed through and kept my face down.
That was everything I could do to go unnoticed.
I was flooded with relief when I made it out the front of the building without having to say a word and continued my trek to Ruggles station, hurrying into the train before the door shut.
Two stops.
That was how far it was to Back Bay station.
During the ride, I looped my arm around the metal pole and scrolled through one of my apps. I was only able to read a handful of status updates before Back Bay station was announced from the speakers.
Once I made my way outside, I went down Dartmouth Street until I reached the restaurant. Rose was right in front, just like she had said in her text. She was at a small, round table that had two glasses of red wine and a charcuterie board on top of it.
“Hiii,” she said as I got closer and embraced me the second I reached her.
I didn’t mind.
That was part of the reason I was here.
I even hugged her back as hard as I could.
Rose and I had been assigned as roommates our freshman year at Northeastern. I was a shy girl from southern Maine, who made the honor roll with ease and wanted to work in health care. I was also extremely inexperienced in partying. Rose was from South Boston. She came to college with a master’s degree in drinking and could throw up the next morning without even smudging her lipstick.
We were complete opposites.
And, although we had both changed so much over the years, we were still closer than ever.
“Hi,” I whispered back.
She was holding me so tightly; it was hard to breathe.
“Thanks for not canceling.”
“Well, I tried,” I admitted.
“You know, if you really didn’t want to come tonight, I wouldn’t have forced you.”
“I know.”
I moved to the other side of the table and sat across from her. Once I slung my bag over the corner of the chair, I lifted the wine glass, clicked it against hers, and took a sip.
Pinot noir.
She knew what I needed.
“To moments,” she said as I swallowed.
Rose believed in celebrating them.
Always.
And, according to her, today was one.
“To moments,” I repeated.
She took a drink from her glass, and then she crossed her arms over the table and leaned in closer. “Tell me all about your day. I want to hear every detail.”
I had known this question was coming. That was partly why I’d wanted to cancel. “I woke up, went for a run, and went to work, and now, I’m meeting you. There’s not much else to tell.”
“Alix …”
She didn’t say my name in a reprimanding way.
She said it as though she were encouraging me to talk about it. Because Rose forever assumed I needed to get something off my chest.
“Work was fine,” I said. “The entire shift was rather uneventful, honestly, and for the most part, it was a shockingly safe day in Boston.”
Her face began to relax.
I certainly hadn’t missed how tense it looked.
“And it was a sunny day,” she said.
I nodded. “I’m thankful for that.” I took another sip, hoping I’d satisfied her enough that she would change the topic.
“I have news.”
Relieved that I’d gotten my wish, I reached forward and grabbed a cube of cheese and a slice of prosciutto. “Oh, yeah? What kind of news?”
“I picked a man.”
“What?” I said, chewing the bite that was in my mouth. “You already have a man, so why in the hell would you be looking for another one?”
“He’s not for me. He’s for you.”
I shook my head. “Oh no.”
“You know I’ve been dying to set you up with one of the art directors in my office, and now, it’s finally time. Don’t think I forgot the promise you made me.”
Three months and one week ago, Rose had asked if she could set me up.
I’d told her I would consider it in three months.
She had been smart not to ask me last week.
She was even smarter to ask me now.
I set down the almost-empty glass I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.
Just as I was about to respond, she said, “I’m not asking you to get serious with the guy. I just want you to meet him for dinner. The same thing we’re doing right now. If there’s chemistry, pursue him. If there isn’t, then at least you tried.”
“You really want to get me laid, don’t you?”
“Is that a bad thing?”
I opened my mouth and then instantly closed it. I needed to think about what I was going to say before something unforgettable came tumbling out of it. “No, I suppose it’s not.”
“Good.” She grinned. “Then, let me get you laid.”
I didn’t know if I’d actually go on the date with the art director. But, to avoid one of Rose’s talks, I smiled and made sure my tone was convincing when I said, “I can hardly wait.”
Two
Dylan
Three Years and Two Months Ago
The first time I had seen Alix Rayne, she had been walking into the restaurant I was dining at. She was there with a girl, who I later learned was Rose, her best friend. I was there with another woman.
I didn’t mean to watch Alix move across the room. My date just wasn’t holding my attention.
And, because I was used to taking in my surroundings, my peripheral vision more sensitive than most, once Alix entered from my direct right, I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
She was absolutely fucking gorgeous.
Both women landed at a table less than ten yards from mine.
Alix sat, facing me.
Then, she laughed at something Rose had said and glanced down at the wine menu.
“Dylan?” my date said.
I turned my head, staring at her now but listening for sounds coming from the other table. “Yeah?”
“Didn’t you want to order some wine with dinner? I think it should be here soon.”
I didn’t want to be rude, but I no longer wanted to have dinner with her.
Not even if that meant a guaranteed blow job in the backseat while my driver took her home.
I wanted to be with the beautiful woman at the other table. The one with long chocolate-colored hair and a curvy waist and lips that naturally were pouty and pale pink.
Just as I was about to respond, a vibration came from the inside of my jacket. I reached into my pocket and took out my cell. When I s
aw the name on the screen, I said to my date, “I have to take this.” My finger swiped the phone, and I held it up to my ear, “Yes?”
“I have a situation,” my assistant said.
“Talk.”
“One of the pilots showed up, under the influence. He’s been sent home, and boarding has been delayed. The plane is scheduled to leave Logan International Airport in thirty minutes. I’ve contacted all of the other pilots in the area, and none are available. How would you like to proceed?”
“Where’s it going?”
“Las Vegas.”
She wanted to know if I would fly the plane or if she should book the passengers a commercial flight and issue them a credit for the inconvenience.
My customers used my airline for many reasons.
One of those was that we always got them into the air, and it was never on a commercial vessel.