by Marni Mann
I reached into my back pocket and took out my cell. Before my thumb even touched the screen, Rose’s hand was on mine.
“Please don’t call yet. Not until we’ve checked her house to know she’s not inside. I know this sounds crazy, but Alix will literally kill me if we call nine-one-one.”
“Then, open the door, so I can see if she’s in there.”
“I don’t have a key.”
I reached under my hood, tugging on my fucking hair. “I have to break the glass. I have no other choice.”
She nodded. “Do it.”
I tucked the sleeve of my jacket over my palm, trying to protect at least some of my hand, and I pulled my arm back. My fingers clenched into a fist. I eyed up the bottom-right corner, and I shot my hand forward, punching as hard as I could through the window.
Shards stabbed my skin.
The spiked edges of the glass scraped against me as I bent my wrist to reach the lock, opening the door from the inside.
The last time I had done this, I had been too late.
The motherfucker had already been raping my sister.
I didn’t know what was happening to Alix, but I couldn’t let anything or anyone hurt her.
I wouldn’t survive it.
Not a second time.
Since Rose knew her way, I let her go in first, and I followed behind her. She flipped on the light in the entryway and rushed up the stairs and down a hallway.
“Alix?” Rose said as she walked into a bedroom I assumed was Alix’s. “Are you in here?”
Except I didn’t know why there was a man’s button-down hanging over the corner of the chair or why there was a large pair of black leather lace-up shoes on the floor next to the ottoman.
“Is this her room?” I asked.
There was no sign of Alix in here, and Rose didn’t answer me. She just moved through the room and went inside what looked like a walk-in closet.
“Oh my God,” Rose gasped.
She’d found her.
I hurried over and saw Rose in the center, holding the top of the island with both hands.
But, as I skimmed the space, I didn’t see Alix.
All I saw were clothes.
And most of them were for a man.
“Whose closet is this?” I asked.
Her skin was turning pale.
“Rose, what’s going on?”
She backed up to the section where the entire rack had broken. The suits it had been holding were on the floor in a massive pile. The metal pole the hangers had been on was to the side of the large heap. She knelt, running her hand over a jacket and pulling it into her arms. “Oh, Alix, why didn’t you tell me?”
Her voice was so fucking quiet.
I didn’t like it.
Because Rose knew what was happening in here, and I was in the fucking dark.
“Tell me what the hell I’m looking at,” I insisted.
She got up and moved over to one of the shelves that held several pairs of women’s heels. There was a small piece of paper resting on the wood, which she lifted into her hand and read whatever was on it.
“Oh God,” she groaned. She took a few more steps and stopped by a section of men’s belts. “I can’t believe this.”
I turned, so I could see what she was staring at. There was a note taped to the wall.
The handwriting wasn’t Alix’s.
I’ll try not to be late.
I love you.
There were tears in Rose’s eyes. They were dripping down her cheeks.
And the expression on her face was scaring the shit out of me.
She hadn’t said anything that made sense.
She hadn’t given me a single goddamn clue of where Alix might be.
The patience I normally had was gone.
“I’m calling the police,” I said, reaching for my phone again.
“Just give me another minute,” she pleaded. “I need to check a few more things, and then you can do whatever you want.” She moved by me and went back into the bedroom and out into the hallway. She called out, “Alix,” as she checked the other rooms up here.
There was no response.
When I followed her downstairs, she flipped on another light, and it illuminated the whole kitchen.
As soon as Rose saw the space, she gasped and cried, “Oh God, no.”
I looked around to see what had upset her.
The only thing I could come up with were the small pieces of paper that were everywhere—on the counters, taped to the cabinets, spread out across the table.
There was a briefcase on one of the barstools.
A jacket was resting on the back of one of the chairs. It was far too big to fit Alix.
I went over to it and saw it had an Embassy Jets logo on the left side of the chest.
And then I noticed the note that was right in front of it.
It had the same handwriting as the one on the wall in the closet.
I’m headed out to grab breakfast and coffee.
See you after your run.
I love you.
“Smith …”
I glanced up.
Rose was standing at the counter not far from the table. She’d set Alix’s purse on top of the granite, and next to that was a phone.
Alix’s cell case was yellow.
This one was black.
Rose’s arms crossed over her chest, and she looked like she was going to be sick. “It’s been over a year since I’ve been in here. I didn’t realize it had been that long. It didn’t even dawn on me until we were up in her room.” She swallowed, flattening her hand against her heart. “I’ve picked her up here, and I’ve talked to her outside on the front steps, but I’ve never come in.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
She shook her head. “I didn’t know this was happening, Smith.” She broke eye contact, and I tracked her stare to the cabinets and countertop. “How did I not know?” When she faced the front again, she gazed at Alix’s purse and dipped her hand inside, pulling out a ring.
A diamond ring.
What the fuck?
“Oh, honey,” she sobbed.
She wasn’t talking to me.
She was speaking as though Alix were here.
She touched the screen of the black-cased phone and whispered, “It’s Dylan’s …”
I couldn’t take another goddamn second of this.
I was standing in a home Alix obviously shared with another man.
One there was no way she could afford on her salary.
Rose was holding Alix’s ring.
The whole goddamn time, she’d been engaged.
This was the reason she never invited me over.
This was what Alix didn’t want me to see.
“Rose?”
Her eyes finally flitted to me. There were so many emotions staring back; I wasn’t sure which was more dominant, but all of them made my chest pound.
“Who the fuck is Dylan? What is going on? And why isn’t Alix in this goddamn house?”
“She told me not to bring up Dylan at dinner.” Her head dropped, and her shoulders rounded. “Now, it all makes sense.”
I was trying to piece together the few things she’d said. “What does?”
She set the ring on the counter and moved closer to me. “I need you to trust me for just a few more minutes. And then I promise I’ll explain everything to you.” She was headed toward the door.
“Where are you going?”
When she turned around, her eyes were so fucking haunted. “I think I know where she is.” Just as I opened my mouth to respond, she cut me off and said, “You have to come with me, Smith. She needs you.”
Forty-Nine
Alix
Present Day
I hurt.
My feet.
Legs.
My stomach from shivering.
Even my skin from the sopping wet clothes that clung to me.
They were so heavy.
E
verything inside me felt unbearably heavy.
And each step caused the fabric to chafe.
It would only get worse.
Because it was still raining.
There was so much water.
So much wind, too.
And then …
Out of nowhere …
Craaack.
The pain was too strong.
I couldn’t take another step.
I couldn’t go on.
This was where I’d ended up, wherever this was.
I pushed myself to the right, not knowing what was waiting for me there.
And, when my body hit something hard, I gripped it.
It was cold metal.
It hugged me.
Squeezed me back.
That was what I needed, what I’d been searching for this whole time.
When my lids started to get heavy, they closed until I heard, “Alix,” and then they snapped back open.
It was Dylan’s voice.
Where is he?
I looked up.
Down.
To my right and left.
He wasn’t there.
Because he was in front of me.
On the other side of the metal.
I didn’t know what he was doing here.
But he was just a few feet away.
And my eyes landed on him.
And …
“Oh my God,” I choked.
My hand slapped over my mouth.
My chest heaved.
He was so incredibly handsome.
So much so that it hurt.
And it hurt even more than the pain I was already feeling.
I studied his face.
His cheeks were bare of any scruff.
His hair was perfectly gelled.
He was so polished.
He was waving at me, signaling me to come closer.
So, I released the metal, hearing it click as I opened the latch and moved through the opening.
My toes burned after each step.
My thighs throbbed.
He was farther away than I’d thought.
Up and up and up.
And down, down, down.
Up.
Down.
And then I saw him.
He was on the grass.
I was almost out of breath when I reached him, sitting on the ground directly in front of him. “Hi.” I smiled. It made me feel warmth, like it was heating my skin through the rain. “What are you doing out here?”
His hand went to my chin. “My Alix.”
I smelled his spicy scent.
Felt his freezing skin.
“I miss you,” he said.
Why do those words hurt so badly?
Why can’t I catch my breath?
Why, when I go to say them back, aren’t I able to?
Because my mouth was already open, and rain was splashing against my lips and tongue.
I put my hand on my chest to stop the pain.
But what ached the most was the feeling that had come over me.
The one that made me want to close my eyes.
“I’m tired,” I admitted.
“I know.”
“Dylan, I’m so, so tired.”
“I can tell.”
Dylan blue. That was the color I called his eyes.
And that was what was finally staring back at me.
For so long, I hadn’t looked.
I couldn’t.
But, now that I did, it hurt.
Oh God, did it hurt.
“I can’t keep doing this.” I tucked my knees against my chest and wrapped my arms around them. “I can’t keep fighting for us.”
“I know, Alix.”
My eyes were so heavy; I could barely keep them open.
“I don’t think I’m going to make it up to bed tonight,” I said. “I just don’t have it in me.”
His hand lifted to my cheek. “You don’t have to, my love.”
I stretched my body across the grass, smelling the wet soil beneath me.
My knees moved to my chest again.
I used my arm as a pillow.
I looked across the grass, like I would when I checked our bed.
There was no dented pillow.
There was no tousled blanket.
“Don’t leave until I fall asleep,” I told him.
Rain pounded against my ear.
Wet hair stuck to my cheeks.
“I’m going to stay with you,” he said.
I felt heat behind me.
I felt more around my stomach.
He was holding me.
And, just when I expected him to wish me a good night, tell me he loved me, promise me I wouldn’t freeze in the cold, I heard something else.
Craaack.
Fifty
Dylan
One Year Ago
After a late lunch in the Public Garden, Alix and I left the park and began heading home. Her hand was in mine, and our two wedding bands were in my pocket. Rings that would be on our fingers in just a month’s time.
Jewelry I’d never take off.
Not even to shower.
Being that we were so close to the wedding, I’d gone ahead and made several financial decisions. Alix had been added to the deed of my townhouse and was now the beneficiary to all of my personal accounts.
I’d told her the news a few weeks ago.
Her reaction had been exactly what I had expected.
It just wasn’t important to her.
But it was to me.
These decisions would affect her future.
The same way turning down Arlington Street and then Boylston Street would affect mine.
It was two thirty in the afternoon.
The sidewalks were congested.
The city was buzzing with energy.
And something was leading me to Copley Square.
The finish line.
Alix didn’t even ask where we were going.
She didn’t have to.
She knew me well enough to already know.
I looked at her just as we were making the right, when it was clear I wasn’t taking her home.
She was smiling out of the corner of her mouth and said, “I knew this was where we’d end up today.”
I grinned back at her.
Taking her here wasn’t just for me.
It was also for her.
She loved this city.
Since it was Patriots’ Day, that gave us all the more reason to be in the heart of it.
And, today, the heart was Copley Square.
“Alix,” someone said as we reached the corner of Dartmouth Street.
She stopped and looked for the person who had spoken her name.
It was a police officer.
He was standing at the Stop sign, and Alix released my hand to approach him.
“Hey, Charlie,” she said as her arms wrapped around him. “It’s so nice to see you.” She pulled away and moved between us. “Charlie, this is my fiancé, Dylan Cole.”
“Nice to meet you,” the officer said as he shook my hand.
I wasn’t surprised Alix knew him.
The police worked closely with the paramedics.
Whenever we were at a public event like this one, she always knew several of the officers on duty.
“Likewise,” I replied to the officer.
Our hands separated, and he turned his attention to Alix. “How did you get out of working today?”
“I worked it last year. Our department rotates holidays, so we don’t have the same one year after year.”
“Lucky.” He winked. “It’s good to see you.” He glanced at me. “You, too, Dylan.”
Alix patted him on the shoulder. “Keep us safe today.”
“You bet.”
Her fingers found mine, and we continued walking until we reached the section where the flags were flying, the ones that represented all the countries participating in the race.
/> We found a place against the metal barricade that blocked us from entering the road.
The people around us were cheering.
They were holding signs and snapping photos of every runner who made it to the end.
I glanced at Alix.
It was like the morning we had hiked to the top of Cadillac Mountain for the first time, and I’d watched the sunrise through her eyes.
That was what I was doing now as she took it all in.
I’d spent my whole life in this city.
I’d stood in this same spot on this holiday every year since I was a kid.
And what filled me was a sense of pride.
People traveled from all over the world to come here.
To watch this race.
To experience this moment.
And, now that we were here, I felt something.
I didn’t know what it was or how to describe it.
It was just an overwhelming sense of urgency that had me reach into my pocket at two forty that afternoon and take a ten-dollar bill out of my wallet.
I folded the money and put it in Alix’s hand. “Do you mind going to get us some water?” I knew the street so well; therefore, I knew, “There’s a store on the next block.”
It wasn’t hot.
I wasn’t thirsty.
She laughed and stood on her tiptoes to kiss me on the cheek. “Of course. I’ll be right back.”
She turned, and I grabbed her hand, forcing her to look at me.
“I love you, Alix.”
She was still smiling. “I love you, too.”
I released her.
And I watched her walk away.
As I stared at her back, I thought about moments.
The ones I’d spent with Alix.
The ones before her.
How I’d never really taken the time to celebrate any of them.
But the people standing on both sides of me were doing plenty of that.
They were celebrating this moment.
So, I did, too.
I closed my eyes and reached my hand into my pocket, feeling the small velvet pouch that held both wedding bands.
I squeezed it against my palm.
I didn’t know why.
I just knew I had to.
And I thought of Alix.
I pictured her face when I’d placed the engagement ring on her finger. Her expression when I’d promised I would never hurt her, that I would always take care of her and keep her safe, that I’d give her everything she’d ever dreamed of. The look in her eyes when I’d promised her forever.