by Kat Simons
“How do you know?”
“Deacon.” She sighed. “We both know if I was a shifter—”
“You’d probably be doing this to me on purpose to guarantee I was your real mate,” he said, cutting her off. “My sister’s been telling me stories.” He gave an exaggerated shudder. “Honestly, I’m pretty damned grateful you’re not a leopard.”
She snorted.
“I’m not trying to rush you, Cary. That’s not why I’m here, and that’s not what I want. I need you to know that.”
“Your self-control is saying other things,” she pointed out. “Dangerous things.”
“And that’s my problem to deal with. Not yours. It’s obvious to everyone around me who knows about these things that I’ve found my mate. That means forever in our world.”
He kept his gaze on her shoulder as he said that last, and she frowned even as her pulse pounded with a panicked shot of adrenaline at the thought of forever.
“And to get forever right,” he went on, “we need time. You need time.” He shrugged. “We need to go on a date at least.”
She chuckled softly. “I was thinking that recently. Sally thinks you’re my boyfriend and we haven’t even had a real date. I’m not sure playing football at the park and facing off against a demon counts.”
“It could under the right circumstances. But I was hoping for something a little more romantic.”
She buried her face in his neck to muffle her laugh. His deep breath and the slow stroke of his hand along her back reminded her there was still a lot of tension and chemistry between them, even if the trust and friendship was still building.
“So what do we do?” she asked, meeting his gaze again. “I still need more time. You seem to be running out.”
“No. I’ll be okay, so long as I don’t stay away from you for such long periods of time. I can manage.”
“Would Caitlin agree with that?”
He grunted. “She’ll tranquilize me if I get too bad.”
“I’m really really looking forward to meeting her.” She studied his face, pushing a strand of hair off his forehead. “I do have some good news. Sally and Jon are moving out soon. They’re going to Sally’s parents for Thanksgiving.”
“You’ll go with them?”
“No.”
She told him everything then, about her lunch with Holland, how she’d gotten him to give his word, how Jon intended to call Holland tomorrow to turn down the job.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were meeting with him?” Deacon asked.
“Because I was afraid you’d want to go with us. And no offence, big guy, but your moods…”
He let out a huff that sounded both irritated and resigned. She tensed, preparing for a fight.
Instead, he said, “You’re right. I hate it. But you’re right. The state I’m in, I would have been a liability.”
Her eyebrows popped up. That had gone a lot more smoothly than she’d been expecting.
“So when do Jon and Sally move out?” he asked.
“Sunday. We decided it was best to stick to Jon’s routine for the rest of the school week. I want a few days after Jon calls Holland to make sure the demon keeps his word, too.”
“You think he will?”
“Yeah. Funny as that sounds. But I don’t trust him not to try…something. He’s probably already found a loophole in the promises I made him give me.”
“What’s Jaxer say?”
She shrugged. “He doesn’t know about any of this. We haven’t talked. He left one message with Angie, but that’s it.” She would have liked to have discussed her strategy and the results with her mentor, but that was tough to do when he wasn’t around.
“And the Nags?” Deacon asked.
“They leave the protecting to me most of the time. Once I’m on a job, they let things run their course without interfering.”
“Jaxer will probably make an appearance once Jon leaves.”
Cary hummed under her breath. “I don’t know. Something’s wrong. I wish he’d talk to me about it.” She levered up on her elbow. “Has he said anything to you? Do you know what’s wrong?”
Deacon stared up at the ceiling for a long, quite moment, very obviously not meeting her gaze.
“What?” she asked, turning his chin so he had to look at her.
He sighed. “I think it’s best if he tells you. If he hasn’t said anything to you in a couple of weeks, I’ll tell you everything I know.”
“A couple of weeks? What makes you think my curiosity will let me wait that long?”
He reached up and tunneled his fingers through her hair. “I’m sure he’ll talk to you soon. You have beautiful hair. You should wear it loose more often.”
“You’re changing the subject.”
“Yes. I don’t feel like talking about Jaxer while I’m in bed with my mate. If you don’t mind.”
“Don’t think this lets you off the hook. I fully intend on grilling you about this subject at a later date.”
“But you’re willing to be distracted?”
She rolled her head against his hand. “I suppose I could be persuaded to talk about something else.”
“And if I don’t want to talk?”
“Then we really will scandalize Sally.”
“Sally. Right.” His gaze traveled over her face. “When are they moving out again?”
“Sunday.”
“What time?”
She chuckled. “I don’t know.”
“Call me the minute they leave. I’ll be waiting in the car around the block.”
“Deacon!” She slapped his chest lightly and bit her lip to hold in her laugh.
“I meant for our long overdue date.” He feigned innocence.
“Right.” She didn’t believe that look even a little bit. “Tell me about the animals,” she said, because his hand playing with her hair was doing things to her pulse and she needed a new topic of conversation now. “How are they recovering?”
“Now look whose changing the subject.”
“Your idea. How are the animals?”
“Better. Some of them still think the next fight is coming, though. They don’t know they’re safe yet.”
“I know I discouraged the idea, but maybe you should ask Jon to talk to them. At least tell them they’re going to be okay.”
He frowned. “I may have to with the tigers. I think they’ve decided I’m the next combatant.”
“I’m surprised your sister is still letting you near them.”
“She’s not now.” He ran a finger down Cary’s cheek. “But she has shown infinite patience with my current sorry state.” His questing finger moved across her jaw and down her neck.
Cary blinked against the distraction of his touch. She cleared her throat. “So. Animals are okay, then?”
“They will be.” He smiled.
“I thought you were tired.”
“Not anymore.”
“Sally…” Her voice trailed off as he pulled her face close to his and touched his lips gently to hers.
Cary’s stomach clenched. She let out a soft sound somewhere between hesitance and surrender. And Deacon deepened the kiss.
The barest ounce of sense returned when his hand closed over her breast. The feeling was so exquisite, it stole her breath. She arched into his palm, moaned softly, and realized she was on the verge of rushing things she wasn’t ready to rush.
Reluctantly, she eased back. “This isn’t going to work.”
He raised a brow. “I thought this was working just fine.”
The wicked glint in his eyes made her groan. “Sally,” she reminded him, her voice a harsh whisper. Desire clogged her throat.
“Maybe I should go.”
“You don’t have to go yet,” she hurried to assure him. Did that sound desperate? Probably, since she was.
She was surprised to realize she didn’t want him to leave so soon. She hadn’t recognized how much she’d missed him until just that moment. Phone call
s were nice but not the same as having a big, warm Deacon next to her.
“I mean…” she muttered over her embarrassment, “maybe if I turn around. Might be easier to sleep that way.” Less temptation to look at.
He made a noncommittal sound and loosened his hold so she could roll over. She settled her back to his front and realized immediately this had been a mistake. Now she could feel the hard press of his erection against her butt. He had better access to her neck too and took advantage, nuzzling her hair aside to place hot little kisses along her pulse.
Nope, this wasn’t helping at all.
25
“Tell me something I don’t know about you,” Cary croaked. Sally and Jon are still in the house, she repeated to herself over and over. Remember Sally and Jon.
Deacon’s teeth scraped the skin high on her neck near her ear.
Sally, who?
“What would you like to know?” he asked.
His breath was hot against her skin, sending a shiver across her shoulders. “Don’t do that,” she said. Her efforts to sound firm failed miserably. She made the command sound more like a plea to continue. Damn.
“I remember telling you the same thing the first night we met,” he said.
“You did?”
He hugged her tighter to his chest. For some reason, the gesture made her feel well-loved and cosseted. A very strange sensation, but she liked it.
A little too much.
“You breathed on my neck while examining the binding ring,” he said.
“Oh, yeah.” She’d been busy trying not to notice how yummy he smelled. Sucking in a lungful of air, she let that same scent infuse her senses now.
“I’ve never been so uncomfortable being naked before,” he said. “I sure as hell didn’t want this strange woman Jaxer had sent to rescue me to know I had a hard-on just because she breathed on me.”
“Strange, am I?”
“Beautiful and mysterious.”
She snorted.
“Fortunately for me, you were very careful to keep your focus on my face.”
“I did peak,” she confessed without a hint of guilt. “At least from the waist up.”
“So did I.”
She turned her head toward him. “What did you peak at? I was fully dressed.”
“Your shirt gaped open, giving me a very nice view of your cleavage.” He cupped her breast. “I had a hard time keeping my hands to myself, despite the danger of the situation.”
She felt her eyes rolling back in her head. “Deacon, you’re not trying very hard to make this easier.”
“I’m not, am I?” He nuzzled her neck again. “I’d never had such an immediate reaction to a woman before,” he said. “It pissed me off, at first.”
She managed a shaky laugh despite the heat clawing through her body. “Why?”
She felt his smile against her shoulder.
“I didn’t want my hormones going crazy when I still had to get out of that apartment. And at first, I thought you were doing it on purpose. Some great joke to drive me insane.”
“Who would play that kind of joke?”
“Jaxer.”
“Yeah, well.” She swallowed and tried to steady her voice. “Jaxer has a weird sense of humor.” She reflexively pressed her butt back against his hips, and he growled in reaction.
Distraction. They needed a distraction. “How would I affect your hormones on purpose?”
Well, that wasn’t much of a distraction. But the part of her brain still functioning was curious. How did one go about turning a reluctant man on against his will?
“I thought you were a witch and you’d cast a spell on me.”
“Could have just been chemistry,” she said.
“But it had never happened to me before. I didn’t like it.”
“No?” She wasn’t sure why that bothered her. What was wrong with being attracted to her just because? She conveniently ignored the fact that she hadn’t wanted to be attracted to him either.
“I hate being out of control,” he said. “If you haven’t noticed, it’s dangerous. And I had no control over my reaction to you.”
“Oh.” Okay, she could understand that. She’d felt the exact same way so she could hardly complain. Except she wasn’t dangerous when she was out of control. She just acted like an idiot.
“Once I’d had a chance to analyze your scent,” he said, “I realized why I responded to you the way I did.”
“Yeah, that scent thing again,” she muttered under her breath.
She couldn’t seem to get past the fact that they were here because pheromones were driving them. Chemistry and instinct. That was what they had. And that was all well and good for a fling. But “mates” were supposed to be more than temporary among leopards. He’d said as much just a few minutes ago.
She still had no idea how this could have happen between her and Deacon and had a hard time trusting it. But if this was a mate bond, then they might be together not because they actually liked each other but because some primal chemistry was driving them. It seemed so…superficial. So impersonal. She could be absolutely anyone, and Deacon would still be acting this way with her because she was, supposedly, his mate.
Did mates ever hate each other? Did they end up resenting the bond?
If he’d met her while his sense of smell was impaired and he didn’t recognize her as his mate, would he still be attracted to her? Would he have even taken the time to get to know her? Would she have gone so lust-crazy for him that she completely ignored six years of hard won lessons about preternatural sex gods? If not for this mate thing, would they have even seen each other again after Halloween night?
She had significantly more questions than she had answers at this stage.
“What’s wrong?” Deacon murmured against her neck.
“Nothing.”
He propped himself up on his elbow and turned her chin up so he could look at her. “Talk to me.”
God, he was sexy. She blinked to clear her head. Speaking of chemistry. “Nothing’s wrong,” she insisted. “I was just thinking.”
“Oh, oh.”
“Hey.” But she smiled at his teasing tone. She took a deep breath and asked a question she wasn’t sure she wanted an answer to. “Have you ever been in love before?” There, it was out there.
He shook his head.
“Never?” She narrowed her eyes. “Come on. Not even once?”
“No.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re… Well, I’m sure there’ve been enough opportunities.”
“I have had lovers. I’ve just never been in love before.”
For some reason, that was worse than hearing he had been in love with another woman.
“How about you?” he asked.
“What? Oh. Yes. Once.” She smiled a little at the memory. “First love. He was a nice boy.”
“How old were you?”
“Eighteen. First year of college. We had a sweet six months together then broke up with no hard feelings.”
“How was that possible if you were in love with him?”
Cary frowned a little at his tone. It was hard to tell because they were talking so quietly, but she’d swear she heard a new tension in his voice. “We knew from the beginning we’d only have a limited time together. He was on his way to Europe and a job in the diplomatic core. And neither one of us wanted to do the long distance thing.”
“How did you know you loved him?”
She shrugged. “I just knew. It was a simple kind of love, I guess. Not fireworks and inner turmoil. Not the Romeo and Juliet ‘I’ll die for you’ kind. Gentle. Nice. A good first experience. But not the kind of love that lasts forever.”
“If you met him now?”
“I’d expect to see pictures of his wife and three kids, and I’d be happy to hear what he’s been doing for the last fourteen years.”
“He’s married?” Deacon asked. “You’ve
kept in touch?”
“I’m just guessing,” she said. “He was the type to get married and have kids. But I haven’t talked to him since we broke up.”
“You wouldn’t want him back? He was your first love.”
Ah. There was the reason for that strained note in his voice. “I wouldn’t want him back,” she said. “I haven’t been in love with him for a long time.”
“But you don’t think it would come back?”
“Of course not. I knew then he wasn’t the one for forever. I wish him all the best, but I sure as hell wouldn’t want to go out with him again.”
“I don’t understand that,” Deacon said.
“Do you want any of your former lovers still?” Another question she really didn’t want answered. She bit her tongue to keep from taking it back.
He shrugged. “I was never in love with any of them.”
Which didn’t exactly answer her question, but it did beg the follow-up: just how many former girlfriends had there been? She really really didn’t want to know that, so instead, she said, “Maybe we just have a different definition of what constitutes love.”
He frowned and turned his gaze toward the room’s darkened shadows. He didn’t seem to like her observation.
She wasn’t so happy with it either.
“How did we get onto this topic, anyway?” she said, trying to lighten the mood. They’d only known each other a few weeks, and still had to get to that first date. It was way too soon to be worried about love and whether they’d ever feel it for each other or not.
He shook his head, as if to clear it, and smiled. “I blame you. You were trying to distract me.”
“Did it work?” She waggled her eyebrows playfully.
He gripped her hip in one hand and pressed her back against him so she could feel his still very aroused cock.
“What do you think?” he murmured.
“I think we’re not going to get much sleep tonight.”
“A man can hope.”
Oh boy. “Sally. Remember Sally.”
“Sally will be gone on Sunday.”
He brushed his lips over hers, a gentle caress that made her tingle everywhere.
“Are you busy Monday?” he murmured.
Monday? “Not yet.”
“How about Tuesday?”
“Nothing so far,” she said slowly.