by Laurie Ames
It made her feel a tiny bit better to see Brandy looking equally torn between being embarrassed and being turned on, and she gave her a rueful smile. Deciding it would be the least painful for both if she just did what she would do with any other new contractor, she began giving her a tour of the Bridge. Brandy followed along attentively as she showed her the door that led to the shelter, the computer and tech lab, the room where they had a free health clinic every other week, the community kitchen, and the lounge area.
She fell into her standard spiel about what the Bridge did and could almost forget that this was anything but a standard tour. She had to restrain herself from reaching out to grab Brandy’s ass while leading her to a different area. To her credit, Brandy played along and did an effective job of acting as though they had just met and was simply another new person getting a tour. The only exceptions were the times that her eyes glazed over as she stared at her mouth, or the one instance when she caught Brandy staring at her ass.
Marsha felt like a jumble of warring emotions as the tour went on. She was getting progressively more and more turned on just being around Brandy, but the knowledge that there was suddenly a professional dynamic to their budding relationship was also completely nerve wracking. She had just finished showing Brandy the different exterior entrances and exits that helped ensure troubled kids could access the center anonymously when she finally said something.
“Marsha.”
They had just stepped outside and the door was shut behind her when the quiet sound of her name took her breath away. She glanced around nervously, looking for any signs of her coworkers. Upon not seeing anyone, she turned to stare at Brandy with a perplexed look.
“What are you doing here? Are you stalking me?
“I’m sorry,” Brandy said, “I truly had no idea you worked at the Bridge.”
She waved the apology off. “I know, Brandy. I mean, how could you have known? If anything, I’m the one who should have put two and two together since I knew we were hiring a musician, I just hadn’t taken the time to look into who exactly it was.”
Brandy looked away for a second before saying, “I know this isn’t the best place to talk about much of anything, but I hope you are still be willing to have dinner tonight? We can talk more then and try to figure out what just happened!”
Marsha nodded in agreement. They weren’t going to sort out their relationship or their professional work dilemma - while standing around the Bridge. At least dinner would happen on more neutral ground. “Same time?” she asked.
“Okay,” Brandy nodded, saying softly, “Thanks.”
Marsha resisted the urge to press a reassuring hug and instead led Brandy back inside to finish the tour. They were done by 11:00, and she left for the day after thanking Lexi again for giving her the chance to work at the Bridge. As soon as she was gone, Lexi dragged Marsha into her office.
“Okay, spill,” she demanded, staring intently at Marsha.
Knowing she was caught out, Marsha sighed and said, “I maybe met her over the weekend.”
Lexi’s eyes widened and she practically shrieked, “Ha! I knew it!” She stopped for a second and then leaned in conspiratorially. “She was totally who you were daydreaming about earlier, wasn’t she?”
Marsha rested her head on her shoulder and nodded miserably. “I don’t know what to do, Lexi. I know I had previously told you I was considering a lesbian relationship but not with someone that works at the same place as me.”
Lexi looked at her sympathetically and said, “Well, I can’t tell you what to do but you know some of the coworkers will eventually take notice. But if you decide to keep going and see where things lead, at least your secret is safe with me. By the way, she’s a really nice person!”
Marsha shot Lexi a grateful smile. “Thanks Lexi, really.”
“Any time,” Lexi said, patting Marsha on the shoulder before leaving her alone in her office. Letting her head fall forward to rest against the cool veneer of her desk, Marsha let out a deflating sigh. It was just her luck that a person she finally connected with would happen to be hired by her employer. She doubted they would be able to figure things out over dinner. The company had strict standards when it came to having relationships with others from work. Then there would also be the nasty workplace gossip and innuendo that would surely arise.
CHAPTER SIX
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“Mom, are you kidding me?” She blurted into the phone. “You’re dating a lesbian woman?
“Yes Monica, but don’t you dare act so surprised. You know I’ve told you before about my preference in a relationship. I just can’t seem to meet any men that I can connect with. But now, I may have finally met someone. I have real feelings for her, her name is Brandy.”
Well, it’s about time you dated somebody, even if it is a woman. So, are you going to see her again soon?”
“Yes Monica, tonight we are seeing each other for a second date.”
“Is she hot?” Teased Monica.
“Let just say I’m very passionate about her, dear.”
“Let me guess, she’s a lawyer or some kind of executive, right Mom?
“Noooo, not quite.” Marsha paused momentarily on the phone, trying to find a suitable response.
“Well, what is she? Don’t hold me in suspense.”
“Actually, she’s a performer.”
“Mom! What does that mean, she’s a performer?”
“She’s a musician.” Replied Marsha hoping to skirt the truth. One thing she would never do is lie to her daughter. Their relationship had always been based on honesty and openness.
“That so wild. You dating a musician? Wow, that’s so unlike you. What kind of musician? Classical? Pop music?”
“Umm, not exactly. Mostly punk rock type stuff. Anyways, enough about me. So, what are you doing this weekend dear?”
“Oh, no you don’t Mom. You’re not changing the discussion that easily. Where did you meet her?
“At the Junction nightclub. She was the performer musician; she has an incredible show. We had a few drinks and really hit it off.”
“Is she around your age?”
“Umm, a little younger.”
“What does a little younger mean?”
“Fifteen years younger, if you must know.”
“Oh my God! You can’t be serious. My Mom is robbing the cradle!”
“Marsha sighed into the phone. “I know what you are thinking. I know it sounds odd, but we have really hit it off. There are real intense feelings involved here, a chemistry between us that I cannot explain.”
“Mom, wake up, she’s a starving performer and probably just after your money. What else didn’t you tell me about her?”
“Marsha feigned a fake laugh. “You may as well know, she also an exotic dancer.”
“A friggin stripper! Please tell me your joking.” What are people going to think? What are my friends going to think?”
“I know it sounds bizarre but there is a genuine connection between us. And she is no gold digger. The truth is, I really didn’t want to tell you about her. But she’s special, and I need to talk with someone about this.”
“There nothing to talk about. What’s Dad going to think? What’s Grandma going to think? You’ll give her a heart attack!”
“I know dear, but the moment I see her tonight, I just know I will melt like putty.”
“Mom, you are looking for my advice, right? Text her and say you can’t make it tonight. Just don’t go. Do anything to get out of your date tonight.”
“I could never just dump her like that. But there is more I need to tell you about her.”
“Oh Mom, really?
“Yes, to make matters worse, she just started working at the Bridge. The company has very strict rules about dating co-workers.”
“Okay if she’s a co-worker, then politely see her tonight and tell her to her face that you are breaking the relationship off.”
“As usual, you are right dear
. I’ll think about it and let you know how it turns out. Gotta run, talk later Monica, luv you.”
Her shoulders slumped as she hung up the phone. Her eyes stared downcast in a mournful gaze. It felt like three persons were having a meeting inside her brain.
One was as dark and negative as a demon on a toad stool, advising against this move saying, “you will fail” and “you look like a fool.
The second voice was sunlight multiplied, “Hey, it’s a beautiful day, and all is fine. Full steam ahead. You’re in the winner’s circle.”
The third voice was relaxing on the couch. “Look, this is going to take a lot out of you, in time and effort. Why rush? Sit back, chill out and take it easy.
Marsha placed her hand dejectedly onto her forehead and sighed.
‘What the fuck am I going to do now? … Monica is wrong … Nobody can tell me who I can and cannot date. There are no limits on what is or isn’t appropriate. I can love the whole world, I can love any person of any age, gender and background. Love flies on wings and I am lucky to feel it running through my veins. Oh, how did I get myself into this horrible mess?’
CHAPTER SEVEN
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Marsha took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly through her nose as she stared at the door to Gigi’s. It was a cute neighborhood restaurant that she had been to many times before, but tonight was different. Tonight, she knew as soon as she walked inside, she was going to have a difficult conversation about both the future of a relationship and her career.
“You didn’t want to go in yet either, huh?”
The voice startled her, and she looked over to see Brandy hovering just behind her. She had a wry smile on her face, and she blushed a bit at being caught standing outside. When she didn’t respond right away, Brandy said, “I don’t blame you. Trust me, this is not the way that I envisioned this date going either.”
Marsha couldn’t help but laugh at the comment, shaking her head. Brandy looked at her thoughtfully and said, “Maybe we could reset, just for a bit. Pretend this morning didn’t happen, lets talk about whatever we would have talked about if we didn’t have this hanging over our heads.”
Marsha weighed the idea in her mind. On one hand, it seemed cruel to get to know each other better when they didn’t know how it could end, and it felt wrong to not address the elephant in the room head on. But on the other hand, she couldn’t deny that having a regular conversation with Brandy was enticing, and she rationalized that maybe it would be reckless to make decisions without knowing more about her. After all, if they didn’t mesh, it made her decision about whether to end things much easier.
“That sounds really nice,” Marsha replied.
Brandy’s face split into a genuine grin. “Okay, let’s go,” she said. “After you, age before beauty.” She chuckled as she waved her hand, gesturing for Marsha to proceed through the door.
The next few hours passed in a heady blur of conversation and food, and Marsha unexpectantly found herself falling hard. She learned that while Brandy could play a multitude of instruments, her favorite was the guitar. She rambled on about a local luthier who was known across the country for the innovative work they were doing with guitars and gave her a brief music theory lesson to help explain what she was saying. Surprisingly, Marsha found that she was actually interested in what Brandy had to say, and the conversation wound around numerous topics.
By the time they were looking at dessert, the topic of conversation had shifted to focus more on Marsha, and she was once again surprised to find that Brandy was an attentive listener. She shared bits and pieces of her life, then gauged Brandy’s response. While she clearly couldn’t relate to some of what she was saying, she still made a point of validating her comments and asking questions.
It had been a long time- longer than Marsha cared to think about- since someone had seemed so genuinely interested in learning about her. It was very gratifying to see that Brandy was intrigued. When they finished dessert and had sipped their last coffee, Marsha paused as she realized she didn’t want the night to end.
“Do you want to go back to my place?” Marsha asked, before hastily elaborating, “But not like that sounds- I mean, we could just get to know each other better. We could watch a movie and I’ve got some wine.”
“You mean no sex, don’t you?” Brandy smiled. “I know what you’re saying, and I’d like that.”
They paid the tab and made their way towards her condo. It was a bit of a long walk, but the evening air was crisp, and Marsha was enjoying the walk. Whenever their shoulders occasionally bumped, a small but teasing smile would creep across Marsha’s face. Outwardly she tried to feign cool detachment but the goosebumps that lined her skin said otherwise.
Marsha led her up the stairs to her condo, giving Brandy a short rundown of the nosey neighbors as they approached her door. She was glad she had cleaned over the weekend as she ushered Brandy inside, closing the door behind them. “I’ve got sparkling water, wine, beer, and tap water if you’re interested in any of that,” she said as she set her coat on the countertop.
“I’ll have whatever you’re having,” she said, clearly distracted as she took in Marsha’s luxury condo. “Love your home. It’s such a large open place; yet it still feels very homey and comfortable.”
“Thanks,” she said, shooting her a quick smile before turning to get the wine glasses down. “The remote is on the couch if you want to look for something to watch.” She poured the wine and turned around before stopping to appreciate the scene in front of her. Brandy was on the couch, flipping through options on the remote, and the thought that this could be a regular occurrence brought up an unexpected swell of emotion.
Clearing her throat, Marsha crossed the room to sit next to Brandy on the couch, leaving a respectable amount of distance between them. “Thanks,” she said as she took her glass of wine. “Do you have any preference about what we watch?”
Marsha shook her head. “No, as long as it’s not the news we’re good.”
“Hey, what about this documentary?”
Marsha’s mouth went dry as she looked at the screen and saw the documentary on musicals she had watched over the weekend. The things she had imagined about Brandy while watching it rushed through her mind, and she barely managed to croak out a strangled, “Sure.”
“We don’t have to,” She frowned.
“No! No, let’s watch it. I actually started it this weekend but got distracted and didn’t get very far into it,” Marsha hastily replied. She didn’t mention that what distracted her was how turned on she got from imagining Brandy performing instead of the people in the documentary. This was playing with fire, but as the opening clips filled the screen, she decided that she liked living on the edge.
It didn’t take long before she began to question her decision as she found that her arousal was only amplified when Brandy was sitting mere inches away. Brandy’s running commentary on the documentary wasn’t helping matters, and she could barely manage mumbled responses at the appropriate times. She shifted in her seat, stifling a groan as the movement put just enough pressure on her core to be torturous.
“You okay?”
The innocent question made Marsha jump, and she tried not to look guilty. “Yeah! Yeah, I’m good, just getting comfortable.”
Brandy nodded and returned her attention to the screen, leaving Marsha to stew in her juices, as she tried to stem the tides of desire. A few minutes later, she was startled when Brandy shifted closer and rested a hand on her knee. Trying her best not to pull Brandy fully on top of her, she settled for covering her hand with her own so that she couldn’t pull away. She nearly crawled out of her skin when Brandy’s thumb started rubbing gentle circles on her leg and cursed herself for having to hide the spasms from her throbbing clit.
Glancing at Brandy from the corner of her eye, she saw her still intently focused on the documentary. She occasionally rattled off facts or additions to the content, and she silently groaned at what she was
unconsciously doing to her. Brandy’s fingers were sliding slightly higher on her leg, and she tried not to be obvious as she subtly moved her legs to give her more room to work. The ascent up her leg continued at a maddeningly slow pace, the circles still slow and with just enough pressure to drive Marsha crazy. All the while not once did Brandy look away from the screen. Marsha had to bite down hard on the inside of her cheek to contain her desire. She desperately wanted to move her hand to where she really needed it.
Finally, Marsha shifted her position as she tried to relieve the growing pressure that was building at her core. In that exact same moment, Brandy had casually attempted to slide her fingers just a tiny bit higher. The result of their combined movement had her fingers suddenly brushing against Marsha’s clit, and they both froze. Marsha clamped her eyes shut and willed herself not to come, while Brandy turned to look at her, gauging her reaction.
Brandy went to move her hand away when Marsha didn’t say or do anything, misinterpreting her lack of response as disinterest, but Marsha’s legs slammed shut, trapping her hand to keep it where it was. “Please,” she begged, “Don’t stop.” When she got a nod in acknowledgement of her words, she leaned back on the couch and relaxed so Brandy could shift her hand again.