A Poised Nuisance (Lithe Book 1)

by Iris RIvers

  “I couldn’t do it,” Lara whispered as his thumb pulled her bottom lip down slightly, red smeared across her skin as if she had been wearing lipstick.

  Kai looked up, into her eyes. “Why?” he asked.

  Lara shook her head, lip quivering. They stood there, beneath the rain, staring at one another with hopeless anticipation. With the knowledge that they were fated to ruin each other.

  His disaster. His poised nuisance.

  “Why, Lara?” Kai repeated.

  Lara’s voice, a shuddering whisper, a breath, was the loudest thing Kai had ever heard. “You know why.”

  Lara pulled from his hold with a startling abruptness, running into the busy street.

  Kai was left in the cold alleyway, bleeding as water fell onto his skin, quivering underneath the storming sky.

  He did know, didn’t he?

  CHAPTER NINE

  “Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, ‘it might have been.’” ––Kurt Vonnegut

  “Sage Koinet,” Evelyn said, bringing her hand to her chest in mock shock, “you look dashing.”

  Sage shoved Evelyn lightly, smiling. “So,” Sage said, spinning in the dark green dress she’d tried on, “do you like it?” Her hair hung just above her waist, styled into twirled dreadlocks.

  “I love it,” Evelyn said, nodding. “Your parents will love it too.”

  “I hope so,” she said, closing the door to the changing room. Evelyn stood just beyond the door, looking at Sage’s name written across the surface in Expo marker. “They’ve been bugging me about this dinner for months.”

  “I’m sure they miss you very much,” Evelyn said quietly.

  “Yeah,” muttered Sage in agreement. “Speaking of. How’s Will?”

  Sage’s question was startling. Evelyn had nearly forgotten that people knew of Will; that he wasn’t a figment of her imagination, a character in her dreamscape, but instead a real boy—a breathing boy with feelings and a heart and a mind. The reality seemed impossible.

  “He’s fine,” Evelyn said casually.

  “He’s still going to school in California?”

  “Yes,” she answered, frowning. “He is.”

  The dressing-room door opened loudly. Sage was dressed in the clothes she’d been wearing before—a thick sweater and black jeans. “What’s wrong?” she asked, the green dress draped over her left arm. The two muttered a thanks to the worker standing at the front of the dressing room and headed to the unbearably long line for the registers.

  “Nothing,” Evelyn huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. She wasn’t lying, not really, for she had no idea why Will’s name had made her feel miserable—why he was usually her source of happiness but was now the reason she stayed up at night, anxiously flipping from one side to another in her bed.

  “You are a horrible liar,” Sage said.

  “I miss him,” said Evelyn after a few silent moments. “I miss him so badly it hurts.”

  Sage sighed, her eyebrows pulling together in concern. “Did you see him over break?” she asked.

  “No,” Evelyn said. “That’s the thing. I haven’t seen him in so long. It’s like he doesn’t want to see me—like he’s avoiding me.”

  “Did something happen?”

  Evelyn paused, shifting her eyes from Sage’s gaze.

  Yes, she wanted to say. Something happened. Something incredible but also horrible—so horrible that it’s been tearing our friendship apart like one would pull the limbs from a screaming person.

  “Nothing happened,” she said. The lie charred her tongue; it dried her throat and twisted her lungs.

  Sage nodded. Evelyn wondered if she believed her or if she simply didn’t want to push it further. She hoped for the former but knew it had to have been the latter.

  “Do you want to get ice cream after this?” Sage asked, nudging Evelyn’s shoulder.

  Evelyn smiled—a painful smile, a forgery of the happiness that she couldn’t feel—and nodded a yes.

  “WHEN DOES THE DINNER start?” Baker asked as they rested on Kai’s floor, beside his bed.

  “I don’t know,” Kai said, opening one of his eyes. “I should probably check.”

  “Probably.”

  Kai searched through his emails, finding the message Dunne had sent regarding the recital dinner. He skimmed it quickly. “It starts at 7:30 p.m.,” he answered, sighing.

  “You don’t want to go?” Baker asked.

  “No,” said Kai. “Everyone will be asking me what happened the night of the recital—why I was stabbed.”

  Baker shot up from the cold floor, tucking a strand of dark hair behind their ear. “Would you have an answer?”

  “To what?”

  “To who stabbed you,” Baker said, looking at his chest. Kai’s shirt was wrinkled from the bandages he wore beneath. He was in pain, but it wasn’t as bad as it had been just a few weeks before.

  “No,” Kai said. “I wouldn’t.”

  Baker frowned, their eyes filled with melancholy. “Kai, what is it you’re not telling me?”

  “I—”

  “Don’t bother lying,” they said. “Not with me.”

  “I think you already know,” Kai relented.

  Baker eyed him, waiting a few moments to speak. “Lara?” they said quietly.

  Kai nodded. Baker brought a hand to their face, rubbing their right eye carefully. Their fingers were stained with paint, colors of blue and purple contrasting against their pale skin.

  “Lara stabbed you,” Baker processed, looking to Kai for confirmation. He nodded. “I’m not sure what that means.”

  Kai thought back to the night before, to the rain and unsaid secrets. “I think,” he said, “I’m only just beginning to understand it.”

  LARA WAS DRESSED IN a red silk dress, its material hugging Lara’s figure tenderly. Evelyn sat beside her in the musty Uber they’d decided to take to their recital dinner, wearing a flowing white dress—the color of fresh snow and children’s chalk.

  “Who are you texting?” Lara asked, eyeing the phone Evelyn clutched in her hand.

  “Will,” Evelyn answered fervently, not looking up from her screen. Her fingers continued to tap.

  Lara assessed Evelyn’s features—tight lips, rigid shoulders. “Is everything okay?” she said slowly.

  Evelyn looked up, sighing heavily. “No. It’s not.”

  “What is it?”

  Evelyn shrugged, looking out the window. “There’s just a lot going on right now.”

  “Okay. Will you explain?” Lara asked, eyes narrowing. Evelyn had never acted like this before; she’d never appeared so disheveled and uneasy, not in front of Lara.

  “Well,” Evelyn started, “as you know, Will’s adopted.”

  “I didn’t know that.”

  Evelyn paid no attention to Lara’s response. “But before, he was in the foster system. It really traumatized him.” Evelyn’s eyes turned glossy. “He was put in so many different homes, neglected by so many different people. Eventually, he found a family. A really great family. Nora and Ellie—his moms—are amazing. He has a lot of siblings too. Like, so many. All adopted. You look one way and there’s one; you look another way and there’s another. Sometimes I wonder how Will can do it all.”

  Lara felt her heart clench in agony, thinking back to her own mother and broken home. “That sounds really nice,” she said. “But where’s the problem?”

  “The problem,” Evelyn deadpanned, “is Will’s brother. Blood-brother, I mean. Will just found out he had one. Apparently, he’d been put in the system with Will, but they’d been separated. Will doesn’t remember him though. Not even his name.”

  “So what’s happening now?” Lara asked.

  “Will’s trying to find him,” Evelyn said. “But he hasn’t had much luck. No one wants to help him.”

  “That’s...” Lara trailed off, struggling to find the right words.

  “Sad? I know.” Evelyn leaned back into the cushion of the se
at. “I just hate seeing him so hurt.”

  Lara could sense there was something else bothering Evelyn—something other than Will’s lost brother. Something bigger.

  But before she could question her further, the driver called out from the front, “We’re here!” The car stopped abruptly, jolting Lara forward.

  Lara and Evelyn hurried out, slamming the door behind them. Their heels echoed across the concrete as they pulled open the door to the hotel Dunne had rented for the evening.

  “Are you here for the recital dinner?” asked the young man at the front desk.

  “Yes,” Lara replied.

  “Follow the hall down that way,” he said, pointing behind him, “and turn right.”

  Lara nodded, pulling Evelyn down the hall. They were met with a large room, filled with circular tables and eager people. Dunne stood at the door, talking loudly with a student and their parents. She turned at Lara and Evelyn’s arrival, face lighting up with joy.

  “Oh,” she said, suffocating the two in a hug, “you both look just lovely.”

  Lara stood there uncomfortably as Evelyn embraced the hug, smiling broadly. Any traces of she and Lara’s earlier conversation were now forgotten.

  “I need to go check for Alexander,” Lara said, forcing herself from Dunne’s strong grip. “I think he might be here already.”

  She pushed into the crowd, pulling her phone from her clutch and dialing Alexander’s number.

  “Where are you?” she asked when he answered.

  “Turn around,” he said.

  Lara turned quickly, phone still held to her ear, to see Alexander standing there in a dark suit, his curly hair slicked back. She smiled. “Hi,” she said. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”

  “Of course I would,” he said, reaching for her hand. He tugged her to his lips, kissing her passionately. When they pulled away, he looked down to Lara’s dress, finger lightly tracing the bare skin of her shoulders. “Wow,” he muttered. “You look beautiful.”

  Alexander’s gaze was heavy, tangible. Lara looked away. “Thanks.”

  As Alexander’s fingers fell from her skin, she saw him, sitting at a table alone, his fingers clenching a cup so tightly Lara was sure it would shatter.

  Kai.

  He wore black slacks and a black turtleneck, a silver belt shining on his waist. Rings lined his fingers, all the same silver of his belt. His septum ring was back in place, Lara noticed, hovering above his full lips and curved jaw.

  Kai was watching Alexander’s hands dance across Lara’s skin—watching like he could burn the sight from his memory. Lara shuddered in a breath. He’d watched them kiss, she realized. By the way Kai glared at her, she knew it was painful, seeing them touch each other like she and Kai had touched once before.

  “Let’s find our table,” Alexander said.

  Lara nodded, tearing her eyes from Kai.

  They were sitting at table one—the table for the leads and Dunne. Or Kai, Lara and her date, and Dunne.

  Kai watched them approach, dragging his finger across the white tablecloth. He had no date, no partner to fill the seat beside him. Dunne was already seated, holding her glass patiently, a knife resting in her other hand.

  As Lara and Alexander sat—Lara choosing the seat directly across from Kai, by accident or on purpose she couldn’t tell—Dunne stood, hitting her knife against the glass lightly.

  “I’d like to make a toast!” she yelled, silencing the room. “First, I want to thank all of you for coming and celebrating this wonderful occasion. We’re done!” She laughed, setting her knife onto the table. “But I really want to thank my dancers—my wonderful dancers who have been so wonderfully obedient this semester. They pushed through when even I could not, and I thank them for that.”

  Everyone but Kai and Lara clapped in response.

  “Out of all my students though, I think it’s obvious who stands out the most.”

  Lara looked over to Kai, finding his eyes already on her. His face was impassive, blank.

  “Kai Reeves,” Dunne said, “you are truly one of the greatest dancers I have had the pleasure of meeting. Your work in A Winter in the Woods has been inspiring, to say the least.” Her grin grew as Kai looked at her, his leg bouncing. The crowd clapped again, whispering things Lara couldn’t hear about Kai.

  “And, Lara Blake.”

  Lara raised her eyes, meeting Dunne’s gaze. She nearly smiled.

  “I know it may not always seem it, but I really do believe you are the most dedicated, passionate dancer at Juilliard. Your peers look up to you, as do I.”

  Lara’s eyes burned with tears. No one had praised her as Dunne just had—not her mother or her previous teachers. The words crawled into Lara’s heart, emitting a golden glow from her chest.

  “You will go on to do incredible things, Lara. So I thank you for allowing me to be a part of the journey.”

  The crowd clapped once more, but this time it was for Lara—it was for her accomplishments and effort. It all seemed surreal, like it was something she’d dreamed up.

  “I will leave you to your meals now. Thank you again!”

  Dunne sat back in her chair, eyes glistening as she smiled at Lara.

  Lara smiled back.

  WHEN DINNER HAD ENDED, Lara’s stomach swollen and full, she turned to Alexander, saying, “Would you like to dance?”

  He smiled, pulling her up from her chair by the hand. “I would love to.”

  A soft melody played in the background, swelled by the finest musicians. Alexander pulled Lara close to his body, spinning them together. Lara smiled brokenly, her mind tense and her body aching. His hands felt wrong on her waist—wrong compared to the touch of Kai, when he had pulled her into an alley and begged her to kill him, to cut his throat.

  As the music increased in sound, Alexander was stopped in place, pulled lightly from Lara.

  “I think the leads should get a chance to dance together,” said Kai, his hands pushing into his pockets. Lara hadn’t noticed his arrival.

  “Excuse me?” Alexander said.

  “You heard me.”

  “Go, Alexander,” Lara said. Alexander looked at her, his brows pulled together in confusion. He left slowly, sitting in a chair just a few feet from the dance floor.

  Kai held out his hand; Lara looked down at it, remembering when it had been covered in blood.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” she said, her teeth clenched.

  “You looked miserable,” said Kai. “I’m only doing you a favor.”

  “I was doing just fine.” Lara crossed her arms as Kai brought two fingers to his lips, smirking in amusement.

  “Watching that was an embarrassment,” he said. “He can’t dance.”

  “And you can?” Lara snapped. A weak rebuttal.

  “Would you care to test that theory?” Kai asked, extending his hand once more. Lara looked to it in enmity, hastily taking his grasp and pulling him further onto the dance floor. Kai brought his other hand to her waist, clutching at her dress like it was rotten ivy.

  His touch was a ghost from the church. A riveting secret of their past, hidden from their tormented hearts.

  The music blistered throughout the room, echoing against the walls and brushing against Lara’s skin like a whisper. Kai followed Lara’s steps, allowing her to take the lead in the dance.

  Or was it a battle? Lara couldn’t tell. Both seemed to be the same with them.

  “This damned color,” Kai whispered against her neck, thumb tracing the red silk she wore. “Do you know how often it’s shown up in my nightmares?”

  Lara sucked in a breath, feeling his lips graze her skin. Kai brought his eyes to hers at the noise, his gaze laced with fire and venom and agony. The song was a mere hum in the background now. The only focus was Lara and Kai, their breaths mingling into one, their hearts beating into infinity.

  From the corner of the room, Alexander watched with annoyance. But it wasn’t just Alexander who stared, it was everyone. T
hey all watched in awe as the leads of the recital glided across the floor, absorbing one another’s touches into their bones.

  “Look at how they watch us,” Kai said. Lara turned her head. “They feel it too.”

  “There’s nothing to feel,” Lara snapped, her voice furious. “I’m with Alexander.”

  “Leave him,” Kai said suddenly.

  Lara shook her head. “I can’t. You know I can’t.”

  Kai took Lara’s hand and brought it to his chest, to the scar that rested right above his heart. He pushed their hands deeper into his skin, grunting at the pain it caused him.

  “Kai,” Lara gasped, looking at their conjoined hands. “What are you doing?”

  “Do you feel the scar? The wound you caused?” he asked. Lara nodded, lip quivering, as Kai pushed deeper, ripping his flesh. Lara could feel the wetness of blood from beneath his shirt. It seeped through the fabric, dully coating her fingers.

  “You can stay with Alexander,” he said, feeling the warmth of her skin. “You can marry him—or any other person in the world—because we both know that, no matter who you’re with, no matter where you are, a piece of me will forever belong to you.

  “We both knew that, when you scarred my chest, when you stuck your blade into my skin, I’d wear your scars proudly.” Lara stared into Kai’s eyes, into the fire that burned within them. His heart beat against her pain. “Does he wear your scars like I do, Lara?”

  No.

  “He doesn’t,” Kai said, “and you know it. He never will.”

  “Kai—”

  “I’m yours, Lara, because you’re branded on my skin—on my heart. Every miserable part of me is yours.”

  Lara’s knees shook; she nearly brought her hands to her face and covered her skin, hiding herself from Kai’s admission.

  Had she ever thought she would hear these words fall from his lips?

  Lara pulled her hand from his grip, afraid of what she might do if she felt his heart beat any longer.