by Lara Lacombe
Knowing she couldn’t drag this out any longer, she placed a bandage over one of the deeper scratches and crumpled up the trash. “All set,” she said, lifting her head to look at his face.
His smile was kind and understanding. “Thank you,” he said simply.
Emma nodded. “I’m just sorry I hurt you in the first place. You’ve been so great about helping me look for Christina, and this is how I repay you?”
“No need to wear a hair shirt,” he said easily. “But if you’re feeling that bad about it, I’ll let you help me set up the tent.”
“Deal.” They walked over to the pile of fabric, the supports knocked askew by Matt’s hasty chase. Working in tandem, it didn’t take long to put everything together.
Emma took a step back, surveying the scene. Matt was right; the tent was small. But it was better than nothing.
Sunset was in full swing when she returned to the peanut butter and bread, now scattered in the dirt. Fortunately, only a few slices were ruined—there was still more than enough left to make some sandwiches for their dinner and next morning’s breakfast.
Matt picked up the dusty bread and headed down the trail while she made dinner. He returned a few minutes later, empty-handed.
“Bears,” he said, noticing her slight frown. “Don’t want them to smell the ruined food and get any ideas.”
Emma nodded. “I feel like I’ve forgotten everything I used to know about camping.”
“Hopefully we won’t be out here long enough for you to need it,” he said.
She passed him a plate of food and they ate quietly for a few minutes. Emma watched the sun sink below the horizon. Objectively, she recognized that it was a beautiful sight. The sky was bathed in a tapestry of pink and orange, the last rays of the sun casting a golden glow across the land. But she couldn’t appreciate the view. The knowledge that her baby was going to sleep without her again weighed heavily on her soul.
“We made good progress today,” Matt said. “I know it might not feel that way, but I think we’re getting close.”
Emma glanced over. She could still see his face in the fading light, the subtle glint of his eyes. His expression was earnest; he seemed to truly believe what he was saying. She took some comfort from his confidence and hoped he wasn’t simply trying to make her feel better.
“Why a park ranger?” She didn’t know what made her ask the question, but she wanted to talk about something different, to get out of her own head, if only for a few minutes.
“I’ve always loved being outside,” he said, accepting her change of subject without argument. “Ever since I was a kid, I’ve felt more comfortable outdoors.”
“Is that why you joined the army?”
“That’s part of it. Park ranger was always on my list of dream jobs, so when I left the army I decided to go for it.”
“Was Big Bend your first choice of location?” It was a beautiful park, but it wasn’t as popular as some of the other spots like Yellowstone or Yosemite.
“Actually, it was.” He stretched his legs out, crossing his feet at the ankles. “I grew up in Houston, and we’d drive out here for our annual family camping trip. When it came time to state my preferences, Big Bend was at the top of my list.”
“Maybe we crossed paths during one of your summer trips,” Emma said jokingly. “My dad brought Joseph and me out here a lot. Of course, living in El Paso, we didn’t have as far to drive.”
“It’s possible,” Matt said.
“I think I would have remembered you if that was the case, though,” said Emma.
“Oh? What makes you say that?”
“Your eyes.” She replied automatically, before the filter in her brain could engage. “I’ve never seen blue like that before.”
Matt didn’t respond, and after a second, Emma realized she must have embarrassed him. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“You didn’t,” he said. “Flattered, more like.”
That didn’t seem so bad. But Emma still felt like she’d revealed too much. They were about to share a very small tent for the night—the last thing she wanted was for Matt to feel like she was hitting on him.
They both fell quiet again, but the air around them was far from silent. The park was alive with the sounds of night, as all manner of creatures woke up and started their shifts. It was lovely music, a serenade that Emma had enjoyed in the past. But now she was just counting the minutes until sunrise, when she could pick up the search for her baby.
“Ready to turn in?” Matt asked. “I laid out some blankets in the tent. Feel free to take as many as you want.”
“Thanks.” Emma got to her feet, dusting off her butt before bending to grab some toilet paper from her bag. “I’m going to make a quick pit stop and then I’ll head inside. Are you ready for bed?”
“Not quite yet,” Matt replied. “You go ahead and get to sleep. I’ll take the first watch and turn in a bit later.”
“First watch?” Emma echoed. She felt mildly alarmed at his words. “Do we need to keep an eye out for something?”
His teeth gleamed in the starlight. “No. But old habits die hard.”
“Got it. I’ll be right back.” She headed off to find a bit of privacy. In truth, she felt better knowing Matt was going to stay awake for a while. Now that it was time to occupy the tent, she was feeling a little shy about the prospect of sharing such close quarters with him.
Especially after her earlier breakdown.
Despite the emotional intensity of the moment, her body had registered how good it felt to be held by a strong man. Knowing that, it was going to be a lot more difficult to keep distracting thoughts at bay as they continued to search for Christina.
The moon was barely a sliver of silver in the sky, more of a decoration than a source of light. Was Christina having trouble sleeping? Joseph didn’t know the lullaby she always sang as she rocked her baby, or the way Christina liked to start out sleeping on her side with her hands curled under her chin.
Her eyes stung with fresh tears, and her heart felt too big for her chest as she pictured her baby girl, too scared to sleep. Would Joseph be patient with her? Impotent rage bubbled in her chest at the thought of her brother yelling at the baby, or worse, laying hands on her.
She took a moment to compose herself before heading back to the tent. She’d already displayed enough emotion in front of Matt today. Any more, and he might want to cut the search short because he was afraid she couldn’t handle it.
It didn’t take long to reach the campsite. Matt sat with his back to the tent, elbows planted in the dirt and head tilted up to look at the stars. In that moment, he looked like a sleeping panther, the lean lines of his body a study in leashed power.
“Good night,” she said.
“Sleep well,” he replied.
She stood there, knowing she should slip into the tent, but unwilling to go quite yet. The silence stretched between them as she tried to figure out how to show her gratitude for his earlier help without reminding him of the way she’d broken down in his arms.
“Did you need something?”
She startled at the sound of his voice. “No. I mean—yes. Well, not yes, but—”
“Emma.” She stopped, grateful for the darkness so he couldn’t see her cheeks flush.
“Yes?”
“If you’re trying to thank me, it’s not necessary.” His tone was kind, almost like a caress. “Get some rest. We’ll find your baby tomorrow.”
“Okay,” she whispered. “I hope you’re right.”
She slipped past him, kneeling to crawl inside the tent. The ground was a little bumpy, but she didn’t care. Her muscles twinged from the day’s efforts; it had been a long time since she’d hiked all day, and she was feeling it now. It was nice to stretch out and stop moving, despite the pebbles d
igging into her back.
Another faint cry of a mountain lion sounded through the thin walls of the tent. Her heart began to pound, even as her brain recognized it wasn’t her daughter. The big cat yelped a few more times, singing to some unknown audience. The wails made Emma’s skin crawl, but she couldn’t escape the sound. She clapped her hands over her ears, then curled up in a ball and sobbed quietly into the blanket.
* * *
Matt sat outside, forcing himself to remain put even though every cell in his body wanted to crawl inside the tent and hold Emma. He could hear her crying despite her attempts to remain quiet. The sound of her muffled sobs tore through him like shrapnel, and he wished there were something he could do to help her.
But as much as he wanted to take action, he knew in this moment discretion was the better choice. Emma was a proud woman; it was easy to see she was upset over the way she’d cried in his arms earlier. The kindest thing he could do for her right now was nothing, even though it went against all his instincts to ignore a woman in distress.
He quietly got to his feet, unable to sit any longer. He wasn’t going to bother her now, but he felt like a voyeur, eavesdropping on her private pain.
There was a large, low rock a few feet down the trail. He headed for it now, stepping as lightly as possible so as not to make too much noise. After a quick check for critters on the surface, he sat down and stretched his legs.
His thoughts swirled as he stared up at the stars. Had it really been only a day since Emma had walked into the ranger station that morning and upended his life? The events of the day had been so emotionally intense, it was hard to believe they hadn’t known each other for years.
Never before had he felt such a strong connection to a woman he’d just met. He felt drawn to her, and not just because he wanted to protect her and help her find her baby. Her personal plight was compelling—he hated the thought of a baby in danger—but he wasn’t attracted to her simply because he needed to feed a knight-in-shining-armor complex. No, it was more complicated than that, though he couldn’t explain it to himself.
Part of the problem was he was out of practice when it came to acknowledging his emotions. After leaving Jennifer and Fisher, he’d sworn off personal relationships for a while. By the time the acute heartache had dulled, he wasn’t terribly excited by the prospect of starting over again with someone new. But he’d forced himself to go out on a few dates, thinking his attitude would improve after he rejoined the dating world.
It hadn’t.
Nothing against the women he’d seen—they’d been lovely, saying all the right things at the right times. On paper, they’d seemed like perfect matches. In person, things had been less ideal.
None had made him feel that spark of interest. He was enough of an adult to know that developing relationships took time, and he hadn’t expected love at first sight. But he hadn’t been able to find a reason to keep going out with those women, and so he’d remained alone.
But not lonely. At least, he hadn’t felt lonely until today.
Fourteen hours in Emma Foster’s company, and now he was questioning everything he thought he knew about his emotional state. How had that happened? And more importantly, what was he going to do about it?
Nothing. The answer came to him almost immediately. He wasn’t going to do anything. At least not right now. Emma was searching for her missing baby—the very last thing she needed or wanted was to have a conversation about how she’d triggered this bout of navel-gazing. She had her own problems to deal with. She didn’t need to hear about his sad romantic past, or his experiences with Fisher and how he still missed the little guy.
The best approach was for him to treat this as an anomaly. Maybe he and Emma could talk after they found her baby, but until then, he didn’t want to spend a lot of energy thinking about what was missing from his life. He’d spent the last year ignoring everything that wasn’t work-related, and it had suited him just fine. Emma might have him rethinking his single status, but that didn’t mean he needed to do a full-scale reevaluation of his choices.
A shooting star streaked across the sky, a blazing arc of light that bisected the darkness for a brief, thrilling second. Matt’s breath caught in his throat, a sense of wonder rising in his chest at the sight. He briefly considered pulling Emma out of the tent—there were bound to be more soon—but decided against it.
Another mountain lion cry split the air. He could tell the animal wasn’t close enough to worry about, but the eerie sound made the hairs on the back of his neck bristle. It was easy to think of the park as another pretty spot when he was taking tourists on a guided nature walk, but hearing the roar of a bear or the vocalization of a big cat drove home the fact that the area was mostly untamed wilderness.
That was as it should be, but his body wasn’t interested in the logic of ecological preservation. It was dark, he was sitting on a rock alone, and there were predators about. His primitive lizard brain was knocking hard on the door of his consciousness, insisting they head for the illusory safety of the tent.
He chuckled softly, shaking his head at his foolishness. “If the guys could see me now,” he muttered. He and his fellow soldiers had faced all manner of threats, of both the human and animal varieties, while in the desert. He’d handled it all with aplomb, except for that one time he’d nearly shot his foot off after being startled by a camel spider. The guys had razzed him pretty hard about it, but in his defense, those things were wickedly scary. Matt considered himself a nature lover, but that was one creature he didn’t appreciate at all.
The bushes nearby rustled softly as some nocturnal animal began to forage for a meal. Time for him to go and leave the critters to their business.
Emma was quiet as he slipped inside the tent. He couldn’t tell if she was asleep yet, but at least she’d stopped crying. Hopefully she would be able to get some rest tonight—he could only imagine how exhausted she was after the last few days of panic and worry.
Matt curled up on his side, his back to her. It felt rude somehow, even though she was facing the tent and had no way of seeing him. Their positions were a good reminder that no matter how connected he might feel to her, they were still relative strangers. Hopefully they would get to know each other better, but for now, he needed to remember that holding her while she’d cried didn’t make him special to her. It was tempting to read too much into the moment, but she’d been due for a breakdown and he’d been the closest warm body. Nothing more, nothing less.
The reality check helped clear his mind, and he shifted a bit to dislodge a pebble digging into his hip. Then he closed his eyes, summoned the discipline he’d learned as a soldier, and fell into a dreamless sleep.
* * *
They’d survived the night. Barely.
Joseph poked his head out of the tent and blinked at the dawning sun. He rubbed his gritty eyes and yawned, wishing he could sleep but knowing it was impossible now that it was light.
Christina didn’t seem to have that problem. He glanced over at his niece, lying boneless on the sleeping bag, her rosebud lips slightly parted as she breathed steadily. She hadn’t slept more than ninety minutes at a stretch, and each time she’d woken up it had taken forever to get her to go back to sleep. She was out now, but for how long?
Joseph’s body cried out for rest, and the thought of enduring two more days of this torture was enough to make him reconsider his plan. Maybe he should give Christina back and find another way to get the money. Perhaps Emma would be so grateful to have her daughter again she’d pay him anyway?
The baby stirred and let out a soft whimper. Joseph held his breath, silently praying she didn’t wake. He wanted ten minutes to himself before starting the grind all over again. Was that too much to ask?
Exhaustion clawed at him. He’d been tired before—he’d lost his share of sleep while in the navy. But this was different. Caring for this baby had left him fee
ling totally depleted on all levels—physical, mental and emotional. How did such a tiny creature have so many damn needs?
Heck, at this point he might be better off taking his chances with Karnov and his thugs. A broken leg was starting to sound a lot better than another day of dirty diapers and temper tantrums.
Speaking of diapers... He grabbed his pack and checked his supply. His heart sank as he realized he didn’t have enough supplies to last more than a few hours. He’d thought one pack of diapers and a few pouches of food would be enough, but he’d quickly learned better. Christina needed to be changed every time he turned around, and she ate constantly. He was going to have to restock or they wouldn’t make it to the deadline.
He cursed quietly in the morning air. The only way to get more supplies was to go into town. People would see him and the baby. Had news of the kidnapping reached Alpine yet? It was a medium-sized town hours away from El Paso, but a missing child tended to be a big news story. And in this day and age, their pictures were probably all over social media. Would anyone recognize him or the baby?
It was a chance he was going to have to take. But maybe it would be safer if he went into one of the smaller towns—they tended to be more insular, less connected to the wider world. As a stranger he would stick out, but if the locals didn’t have any other reasons to suspect him he might be able to get away with a quick trip.
His mind made up, Joseph began the process of breaking camp. He was a pro at it by this point, since he made sure to move them to a new site every day. Even though he tried to avoid other hikers and campers, it was best not to get too comfortable in one spot.
Christina woke up as he worked. He changed her diaper and gave her one of the remaining pouches of baby food. When she was done, he strapped her onto his chest and began the trek back to his car. He’d hidden it in a patch of scrub not far away, wanting to stay close in case he had to make a quick getaway.