by Lara Lacombe
“She really likes you,” Emma said quietly. Matt glanced over to find her watching him, a hint of sadness in her eyes.
“Feeling’s mutual,” he said gruffly. If he wasn’t careful, he’d fall in love with this baby. He cleared his throat, casting aside his inconvenient emotions. “Let’s get you both inside.” He pulled the shade of the car seat lower to hide Christina’s face from immediate view. “Don’t look up as we walk in,” he advised.
Emma slid him a glance. “Why?”
“Security cameras,” he said. “I don’t want them to get a good view of your face.” Maybe he was being paranoid, but he didn’t want to make it easy for Emma to be identified.
“Good point,” she replied. She immediately looked down, watching her feet as they walked. “I hadn’t thought about that.”
The elevator was empty as they rode up, as was the hallway to their room. Emma took the carrier as he unlocked the door and ushered them inside.
She let out a deep breath as the door snicked shut behind them. “Finally,” she breathed. Her shoulders slumped slightly as she unbuckled Christina and pulled her free from the confines of the car seat. “I feel like I can relax and catch my breath.”
Christina seemed to echo her mother’s sentiment, babbling happily as Emma set her on one of the beds and began changing her diaper.
It was a simple, domestic task, the kind of thing mothers all over the world performed millions of times a day. But Matt could see the love Emma had for her daughter in the way she smiled down at her, talking softly as she worked. Her hands were gentle but quick and when she was finished, she lingered a moment, leaning over Christina to rub her nose against the baby’s cheek. “Eskimo kisses,” she said, the words coming out in a singsong refrain that Christina seemed to enjoy.
The bond between the two of them was unmistakably strong, and it was a joy to watch how mother and baby responded to each other. Matt felt privileged to be part of this ordinary, yet special, moment.
Emma glanced behind her, saw him watching them and smiled. “Come sit with us,” she invited.
“Maybe later,” he said. In truth, he wanted nothing more than to join them, to feel like he was part of their world. But he had to be careful. He couldn’t let his desires for a family overshadow the truth. Emma and her daughter were vulnerable. She’d called him for help and protection, not because she wanted him in her life on a personal level. So even though Emma and Christina seemed like the answer to his hopes and dreams, he couldn’t let himself get sucked into a fantasy.
“I thought I’d go get some supplies,” he said, ignoring the flash of disappointment on Emma’s face.
“That’s a good idea,” she said, sounding oddly reluctant. “That was my last diaper.”
“Why don’t you write a quick list for me? I’ll get diapers and some food for all of us.”
“That sounds great,” she said. “I was so flustered when I packed that I didn’t include enough diapers or food for Christina. Instead, I wound up grabbing a lot of things we don’t need.” She made a face as she held up a toy truck. “I’m not sure why I brought this. I think it was on the table and I just swept everything into a bag before running.”
“Understandable.” In truth, he was impressed she’d thought to pack at all. He knew she’d been terrified in the aftermath of the attempted kidnapping. The fact that she’d had the presence of mind to grab a few essentials before taking off spoke volumes about her courage.
Matt grabbed the complimentary notepad and pen from the bedside table and passed them to her. “Jot down what you need. I know she likes that yogurt in the pouch—what else can I get for her?”
Emma gave him a crooked smile and shook her head.
“What?” He could tell she wanted to say something, but as he recognized the glint of gratitude in her eyes, he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it.
“It’s just amazing to me how tuned in you are to my baby,” she said. “You played with her in the hospital. You didn’t hesitate to hold her in the diner. And you remember her favorite yogurt based on a wrapper I showed you briefly a few days ago.”
Matt ducked his head, feeling his cheeks warm. “It’s no big deal,” he said.
“It is to me,” Emma replied. “Most men aren’t terribly interested in a baby, especially one that’s not their own. But you’ve been so amazing with Christina. It means a lot to me.”
“It’s the least I can do,” he said. How could he explain it to her? He wasn’t ready to tell Emma he was developing feelings for her—to say the words out loud would make it real, and that was something he couldn’t embrace at the moment. But he could admit to himself that Emma was becoming important to him. And because Christina was important to her, he paid extra attention.
But in the shadows of his heart, he knew it was more than that. He was attentive to Christina not just because she was Emma’s daughter, but because she was special in her own right. In the short time he’d known her, he’d seen glimpses of the little one’s personality. She was a sweetie, and she was quickly burrowing into his heart. He was doing his best to maintain some distance, but her wide grins and soft coos made it difficult to stay impartial.
“If you say so,” Emma said quietly. Her tone made it clear she didn’t agree with him, but she didn’t press the issue.
As she bent her head to write a list, Matt felt a tinge of frustration. “I’m not a hero,” he said gruffly. His attraction to Emma went beyond an affinity for her personality. He wanted to take her to bed, to lose himself in her arms and take pleasure from her body. Based on the way she’d responded to his kiss in the diner, she wanted him, too. But he’d seen the way she looked at him sometimes, her eyes starry and emotional. If and when they took the next step, he wanted her in his bed because she was interested in him, not because she felt indebted to him for the way he’d helped her, or because he’d been nice to her baby.
Emma’s eyebrows drew together in confusion. “Okay...”
Matt held up a hand, cutting off any further reply. “I’m going to hit the head. I’ll take that list when you’re done.”
He walked away before she could respond and entered the small bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Bracing his hands on the counter, he took a deep breath.
What are you doing? His brain began to rattle off a list of all the reasons why he shouldn’t acknowledge his growing attraction to Emma. She was alone and in trouble, which made for the worst timing in the world. She was a single mother who’d built a life for herself and her daughter; did he really have a right to insert himself into their relationship and upset that applecart? And furthermore, she lived in El Paso and he lived in Alpine. Long-distance relationships were a recipe for disaster, as he’d learned the hard way. Maybe he wasn’t really attracted to her at all—perhaps he was simply interested because she’d awakened his protective instincts. Once this business with the traffickers was sorted, they’d both go back to their normal, boring lives, and the pull he felt for her would lessen.
But even as he formed the thought, his heart scoffed at the idea. Circumstances might have brought Emma into his life, but his feelings for her went beyond a knight-in-shining-armor complex. He found her fascinating and wanted to know everything about her. The intensity of his interest surprised him; Emma was different. There was something about her that spoke to him. Without his noticing, she’d sneaked past his defenses and touched his heart.
Could she say the same for him? She liked him—that much was clear. But were her feelings simply in response to his help? It was possible. Perhaps she was still getting over the death of Christina’s father, and her heart wasn’t ready for someone new. Or maybe she saw him as a potential dad for her daughter—a puzzle piece she could insert to complete her family. Matt wasn’t opposed to parenting another man’s child, but he refused to let someone use him like that again.
Jennifer’s face flashed in hi
s mind, filling his mouth with a bitter taste. Not all women are like that, said the logical voice in his head. He knew it was true. Emma’s apparent interest didn’t mean she was plotting to trap him the way Jennifer had. But he couldn’t shake the worry that she was trying to draw him closer, and not just because of his winning personality.
So don’t let her. He could maintain his distance until he was certain of her feelings. He didn’t have to let his curiosity rule his actions, even though she was the first woman to intrigue him in what felt like forever. He’d spent the last few years running on a kind of emotional autopilot. He could maintain that status a little bit longer.
Right?
Chapter 9
The room felt bigger without him there.
Normally, Emma would have appreciated the sense of extra space. But now it made her nervous.
She’d gotten used to Matt’s presence, his quiet strength. Even though they’d only been together for the last few hours, the stress of the situation made it feel like time had been stretched. Minutes became hours, hours pulled into what felt like days. It gave their time together a sort of intimacy she’d only experienced once before, with Chris.
It was strange, this closeness between them. Did Matt feel the same way, or was she projecting her emotions onto him? He was a difficult man to read sometimes—perhaps she was simply filling in the blanks with what she wanted to be there, as opposed to what he actually thought.
His behavior a few minutes ago was exactly the kind of thing that made her wonder. She’d felt him watching her and Christina, and when she’d turned to face him, she’d seen such powerful longing in his eyes it had nearly stolen her breath. It had been one of those rare, unguarded moments when his emotions had been plain to see. But then she’d asked him to join her and the baby, and the wall had shot up between them again.
Matt struck her as a man who deeply wanted a connection, a family. But for whatever reason, he was letting fear stand in his way. Emma was frustrated by his behavior; if he would let his guard down—just a little—maybe they could get to know each other better. Heaven knew she was tired of being alone. But she wasn’t going to force herself onto him.
Christina’s laugh drew Emma’s attention back to her baby. She was another element in the equation that Emma couldn’t overlook. As attracted as Emma was to Matt, she had to be careful. He’d been great with Christina so far, but he might not want to get involved in her daughter’s life. Emma couldn’t afford to fall for a man who didn’t want to be a father to her child.
It was a lot to ask; she recognized that. It would take a special man to step into her life and take on the responsibility of being a dad to Christina. Not many guys were ready for that kind of commitment. It was one thing to raise your own child. Quite another to take over for someone else.
But she was getting ahead of herself. It was possible she and Matt could explore this attraction between them one step at a time. They didn’t have to start in the deep end of the relationship pool; even though she already felt close to him, it was important they actually took time to get to know each other.
Provided he was interested.
Emma sighed and turned her attention back to her baby. She hadn’t been this twisted up over a man since the early days of her relationship with Chris. She’d forgotten how mentally exhausting it was to try to read someone else’s mind, wondering how they felt and what they thought. She had to stop letting her curiosity distract her from the situation at hand. Once she and Christina were really safe, then she could try to untangle her feelings concerning Matt.
Her phone buzzed, pulling her out of her head. She recognized the number on the display as Detective Randall’s. A rush of relief shot through her, leaving her limbs tingling. He was calling to arrange protection for her and Christina, she just knew it.
“Hello?”
“Emma, it’s Doug Randall. I got your message. Are you and the baby okay?”
She sighed, some of the tension draining from her body. “We’re safe for the moment.”
“That’s good,” he replied. “I spoke to the officers who responded to your call last night.” There was an odd note in his voice, and Emma’s relief began to morph into apprehension.
“And?”
“And I’m not sure what more we can do for you.” He had the decency to sound sheepish, but it didn’t stop Emma’s temper from bubbling over.
“How can you say that?” Emma snapped. Christina made a distressed sound and looked up, her small features scrunched in worry. Emma forced a smile for her daughter and modulated her tone. “The men were clearly looking for Christina. When they saw me, they said they’d be back for us both. What more do you want?”
“I believe you,” he said, sounding tired. “But we simply don’t have the resources to put you in protective custody at this time. We’ve stepped up patrols by your apartment, but no one matching the suspect descriptions has been seen in the area.”
“So that’s it?” she said, not bothering to hide her disappointment. “You’re just going to leave me and my baby to fend for ourselves?”
“It’s possible this was a one-off thing. Maybe you misheard what they said, and thought they were targeting Chris—” he said, but she cut him off.
“No. I’m not confused.” She told him about the encounter with Joseph at the truck stop diner, and the way the traffickers had chased after them. “They’re not going to stop,” she said finally.
His sigh rattled over the line. “This changes things a bit.”
“Oh?” She didn’t dare hope for a safe house, but perhaps her revelation would move her case up on the list.
“There are some new players on the trafficking scene,” Randall said. “Rumors are swirling the head honcho uses a mobile office to avoid detection. If that’s who your brother contacted, we and the FBI would be very interested in hearing how he did it and finding out who these guys are.”
Emma heard the door open behind her and turned to find Matt entering the room, his arms laden with bags. She nodded at him, then pressed the button to activate the speakerphone function. “So now you’re interested in helping me?”
Randall paused. “I always wanted to help you,” he replied. “But I have finite resources and limited time. I have to make choices about what to focus on, and as much as I’d like to, I can’t save everyone.” He was quiet a second, then added, “Believe me, I’ve tried.” He let out a short, harsh laugh, and in that instant she saw beyond the bureaucratic lines he’d spouted to the man underneath.
His words had the ring of truth, but Emma still wasn’t satisfied. It wasn’t right that people who needed help couldn’t find assistance thanks to budget cuts. How many criminals walked free because the police couldn’t do their jobs?
“So what happens now?” she asked.
“I’m going to reach out to some people who know more about traffickers in this region. I’ll call you once I know more. In the meantime, where are you?”
She glanced at Matt, who shrugged. “We’re in a little town off Interstate 10. I’m not even sure of the name. We stopped at a hotel to get some rest.”
“We?”
She glanced at Matt again, looking for reassurance. “Matt is with me.”
“That’s good,” Randall said, relief evident in his tone. “I’m glad you’re not alone. Did anyone follow you?”
Matt shook his head. “I don’t think so,” she said. “They tried, but by the time they got the semitruck going again, we were gone.”
“All right,” said Randall. “Stay there if you can. If you notice anything suspicious, call the local police and then me. I’ll be in touch as soon as I have anything on my end.”
“All right,” she said. She hung up, feeling a bit more settled than before. She still wasn’t happy about the lack of police protection, but at least Detective Randall seemed to take the situation seriously and
was trying to help.
“Why isn’t he putting you in protective custody?” Apparently, Matt felt the same way.
Emma put the phone on the bed, realizing her mistake when Christina immediately lunged for it. She plucked it from her daughter’s grasp and offered her favorite toy car as a substitute to stave off tears. “Apparently, there aren’t enough resources, and we aren’t high enough of a priority.”
Matt frowned, his lips pressing together in a thin line. “What a load of horsesh—” He stopped just in time, his eyes darting to Christina. He cleared his throat, his cheeks turning pink. “That’s unacceptable,” he amended.
Emma smiled despite her frustration. “I agree,” she said. “With both sentiments. But I can’t exactly force him to do what I want.”
“Too bad,” Matt muttered. He began to unload the bags, pulling out baby food pouches, diaper packs and wipes. He arranged the supplies neatly on the desk, then passed her another bag. “Here are some clothes I picked up for you both. I hope I got the right sizes.”
She peeked inside, touched that he’d been so thorough. He’d gotten two outfits for Christina, and for her he’d selected black yoga pants and a couple of T-shirts. “This is perfect,” she said gratefully. She reached the bottom of the bag and found a package of ladies’ underwear. Her cheeks flushed, though she had no cause to be embarrassed. Still, the thought of Matt selecting her panties made her duck her head. Chris had been the last man to see her unmentionables.
Her imagination kicked into overdrive, picturing Matt standing in front of the display. Had he put a lot of thought into his selection, or merely grabbed the first package he saw, wanting to get it over with? Was he at all curious to know how she’d look in these panties?