Henri shivered and stirred, but he didn’t wake. I settled between his legs, pushing them wider. He groaned and wriggled his ass.
He was so fucking beautiful all spread out like that for me. I took hold of his ass cheeks and pulled them apart, exposing his hole to me so I could swipe my tongue across it. Henri lifted his hips as though seeking more. I teased him, fluttering the tip of my tongue over his hole.
“Remy?” his sleepy voice asked.
“You damn well better not think it’s anybody else.” I pushed two fingers inside him. “Who does this ass belong to?
“You.” He blinked and turned to look at me. “You’re safe?”
“Yes, and now I need the spoils of my victory.”
“You can have anything you want from me.”
His confession threatened to overwhelm me. I tugged on his hips until he brought his knees under himself giving me better access. Pleasure. That’s what I would focus on, not the confusing emotions swirling in my head.
“Open your legs more.” He did as I said, and I licked over his hole again. I used my tongue to make him moan and whimper as he pushed against my face, trying to get more.
One day, I would love to do this to him for hours, but that morning I was too impatient to feel him squeeze around me, to remember he was mine. He had given this to me and only me.
I sat back and fumbled for the lube in my nightstand drawer. “Turn over.”
He did and looked up at me, eyes glazed with lust. “Need you.”
“I need you too.”
I slicked my cock, but before I pushed inside him, I leaned down and took his mouth. He returned my kiss with a desperation that was unlike anything I’d felt from him before. He’d been desperate to come the night I’d edged him, but this felt like a deeper need, like he wanted to hold onto me, to consume me. I felt it too. I needed to bind him to me, to mark him as mine, to make him promise never to leave.
I pulled away from his mouth, and he whimpered, reaching for me. I took his hands and pinned them over his head. “I’m controlling this.”
“Yes, please. Fuck me. Control me.”
He was nearly out of his mind. His hips arched up, moving as if I were already inside him. He was so absolutely perfect.
I let go of his wrists, and he kept them where they were without me having to tell him to. I pushed his legs up until they were doubled on his chest, exposing him completely. I teased his spit slick entrance with the tip of my cock until he squirmed. “Please, Remington. Please.”
I wanted to keep toying with him, but I needed him as desperately as he needed me. I’d survived the night, but I needed this primal proof of survival.
I thrust into him, making him cry out. I didn’t stop until I was buried in him as far as I could go. He wrapped his legs around my hips, and I took hold of his hands again, lacing our fingers together. I took him roughly, and he met every stroke. We drove our bodies against each other, and I loved feeling him struggle underneath me. “Remington! Oh God, I… I…”
“What?” I growled. “Tell me.”
I could feel him trying to hold back. I didn’t want that. I wanted everything from him, every vulnerable moment, every cry, every need.
“Can’t… Can’t breathe,” he said, voice raspy.
Instead of easing up, I fucked him faster. He gasped, tossing his head back and forth.
“Tell me. You can’t escape. Can’t hide from me.”
“Oh fuck.”
I reach between our bodies and grasped his cock, working my hand up and down, bringing him right to the edge. “Tell me, and I’ll let you come.”
“Can’t. I… please.”
I tightened my grip on his cock as I continued to drive into his ass over and over, making him slide along the sheets. His legs clamped tighter around my hips.
“I want you to come now, cher. Let go.”
He cried out as cum spilled over my hand. “Love you, Remy.”
His words hit me so hard I went over with him. I poured my release into him as he drove himself into the circle of my hand, coating me with his slick seed and making our bodies slip against each other.
He loved me. Jesus. He loved me. I didn’t think he’d intended to say it, but I knew it was true. I could see it in his eyes, and I felt the same fucking way.
He was barely conscious by the time we’d both finished. All I could see in my mind was his look of awe and need as he’d voiced his confession. I rolled him to his side and brushed his sweaty hair from his face as I spooned around him.
“I love you too.” I whispered the words low and soft. He wiggled back against me and smiled. Had he heard me? For once in my life, I took the coward’s way out. I didn’t ask him if he was awake. I just held him.
36
Henri
I woke with a constant dull throb in my head, but I didn’t feel nearly as bad as I would have if Corbin hadn’t taken such good care of me. I squinted against the sunlight streaming in the window. It was probably at least midmorning. Why wasn’t Remington there? Shouldn’t he still be sleeping after all he’d done the night before?
My memories of the night were fuzzy, clouded by my hungover state, but I knew Remy had come home sometime after I’d fallen asleep.
He’d told me their business was taken care of, then he’d rimmed me and fucked me so thoroughly I’d known what we had wasn’t really a business arrangement anymore, and… Oh God. Please don’t let me have actually said those words out loud.
I sat up too quickly, and my stomach nearly revolted. As I remained utterly still, trying to get my body under control, I realized someone was downstairs talking. Remington and Lance maybe? Remington had said Corbin had gone home.
I very slowly made my way to the door, trying to ignore the way my head hurt. I moved cautiously down the stairs, gripping the railing. Between still being half-asleep and the pain in my head, I was far from steady.
I froze when I was a few steps from the bottom because I heard Lance—I was sure it was him now—say my name.
“Are you really going to let Henri go?”
After a few seconds of silence, Remington said, “It’s for the best.”
“Are you sure, considering what he knows?”
“That no longer matters now that the Landrys are all dead or on the run.”
At first, I’d thought Lance was referring to the fact that I’d discovered some of Remington secrets, but maybe Remington hadn’t told him that because Lance didn’t know about Remy’s bargain with the police. But the Landry’s weren’t connected to that.
“He’s still the only person who can place you in the Landrys’ territory the night you two met. You’re the one that wanted to keep him close so he couldn’t tell anyone what he’d seen.”
“Like I said. It doesn’t matter. There’s no one to tell. He doesn’t need to stay with me anymore.”
I sat down on the step, my pulse pounding in my head. I had to take slow breaths to keep from throwing up. I wouldn’t do that. I wouldn’t do anything that would alert them to my presence. I didn’t want to confront Remington. I didn’t even want to see him again.
How could I have been so stupid? I thought he truly cared for me, that he was possibly falling for me. The more awake I became, the more certain I was that I’d blurted out that I loved him, and Remington had said nothing in return. I did have a fuzzy memory of him whispering in my ear, but that had to be a dream.
He didn’t love me. He’d only brought me home, only hired me, because I’d seen him on the street where I worked, and he must have lied to me about telling Lance how we met since Lance knew where I’d been. I suppose I should be grateful Remington hadn’t just shot me.
They continued to talk, moving on to a discussion about how to clean up after the previous night’s mess, but I tuned them out and eventually found the strength to stand and move back up the steps, praying they wouldn’t creak. When I got to Remington’s bedroom, I dressed in the tight leather pants and the ridiculous crop top I�
�d been wearing the night I’d met him. I found my phone, then looked around at all the other things I’d acquired thanks to Remington. I wasn’t going to take them. It had all been a lie. I didn’t want anything to remember it by. I’d keep the money he’d already given me, but I wouldn’t take more. I was standing in the middle of his room, staring at the artifacts of the life I’d fallen into and been stupid enough to think could be mine when I heard Remington on the stairs.
37
Remington
I’d sent Lance and Tony out the door. We’d needed to debrief, but I was impatient to get back to Henri. After what had happened between us—his confession of love and my realization that he was worth whatever price I had to pay to balance a relationship with him and being head of the family—I’d finally whispered the words he’d said back, but I was fairly sure he’d already been asleep. I needed to tell him again in the light of day.
When I reached my room, Henri was dressed in the clothes he’d been wearing when we’d met. He swiped at his cheeks before turning to face me, but it was still obvious he’d been crying. His eyes were red, and he looked worse than I’d ever seen him.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Why are you dressed like that?”
“These are my clothes. This world you brought me into… It’s not where I belong.”
He didn’t seem like the same man who’d told me he loved me the night before. “Henri, what’s going on?”
He hesitated.
I took a step closer to him, and he retreated. “Tell me.”
“Fine. I woke up and went to find you, but I heard you and Lance talking, and—”
He didn’t need to say more for me to understand. I regretted ever saying anything to Lance about the night I met Henri, but he kept pressuring me, so I told him I needed to keep Henri with me because he’d seen me that night. I didn’t mention that I’d paid him for his services. Instead, I’d told Lance I rescued him. “Henri, let me explain.”
He shook his head. “No, you don’t need to explain. You hired me because it was necessary to protect your family. I get that. You haven’t been cruel to me or promised me anything. It was all me. I was a fool, and now it’s time for me to leave.”
No. This couldn’t be happening. He was not going to leave. “Henri, please. Let’s have some breakfast and talk about this.”
He didn’t say anything.
“I did bring you home because you’d seen me somewhere I shouldn’t have been, but that’s not why I wanted you to stay.”
He held up his hand. “Please don’t. I want to leave.”
I could force him to stay. I’d forced him to come with me without any qualms, but I wanted him to stay because he loved me. “If you would just listen.”
“I have. I listened to a lot of things, but they weren’t true. This has all been a really nice fantasy, but it’s over now.”
Anger grew in me, overtaking my despair. Why was he so fucking stubborn? Why wouldn’t he listen to me? “Fine. Leave if that’s what you want. Leave as if nothing that happened between us was real for you, as if what you said last night wasn’t real. I won’t stop you. But promise me one thing?”
“I don’t owe you any—”
“You owe me three more days, so promise me this instead.” He jerked back like I’d slapped him, and I wanted to take the words back. “Promise me you won’t go back to working the streets.”
“I don’t know how I ever did that to start with. I’m going to find a way to have something different. I want my dream, and I’m going to go after it.”
I wanted to be the one to give him his dream. Was he really going to walk out? Was I really going to let him?
I’d forced him to stay when it was a matter of his safety and protecting myself and my family, but now… I couldn’t force him to love me. I couldn’t bring back what we’d shared, so what was the point? “Let me get you the money I owe you.”
He shook his head. “I don’t want it.”
“Henri, that’s—”
“I don’t want anything from you. Just let me leave.”
I stepped aside and watched him walk away with nothing more than he’d had when I’d brought him to my home. I’d have Blackjack poke around until he found a bank account or an app I could pay Henri through. I always settled my debts, but I wasn’t going to chase after Henri. He had been a foolish dream anyway. I was no fairy-tale prince.
38
Henri
The next two weeks were hell. I missed Remington so badly my chest ached. I felt like my bones were made of lead, but I dragged myself through each day. Slowly, I made progress. I used the money I’d made to rent my own room in an old house. I shopped some thrift stores and got myself clothes I could wear to job interviews, and I made an appointment with a debt counselor. It was time to own up to my past and stop running.
My heart was still broken. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to put the pieces back together. It wasn’t just cracked; it was shattered. Somehow, though, I kept putting one foot in front of the other. Maybe one day I would find someone else to… No, I wasn’t going to find anyone else like Remington, but I didn’t need a man like him. I needed to find someone from my own world, someone who didn’t use people so easily.
I’d put my name in with a few temp agencies, and finally, I got a call to work at a florist ringing people up, bringing out orders, and tidying the store when there weren’t any customers. It was a good day’s work. The owner was exacting and demanding but not unfairly so. He even offered to pay me cash to stay a few hours late and help organize the stockroom.
I’d eagerly taken him up on that offer, but it meant that when I left work, it was fully dark outside. As I walked, the rich smells from restaurants tried to lure me in, but I needed to save my money and eat something cheap at home, probably yet another pack of ramen. I hoped the florist would need me back again the next day. If they did, maybe I would indulge myself and buy dinner on the way home.
The room I rented was in a slightly better neighborhood than my cousin’s apartment, but it still wasn’t the sort of area where I should be unaware of my surroundings, especially not once it got dark, but I was lost in thought about the job applications I’d submitted and what my life would be like if I got one of the positions. The downside of it was that I would still be lonely without Remington.
The way I longed for him made me furious. I didn’t want to want him. I’d been a fool to let passion rule me. Scenes from the time I’d spent with him flashed in my mind. I’d thought things with him were perfect, like the day we spent—
Someone gripped my arm and yanked me into an alley. For just a second, I imagined it was Remington. Had he come to beg my forgiveness? But then a rough hand closed over my throat. I started to scream, but the man slapped his other hand over my mouth. It smelled like rotten fish. Bile rose in my mouth as I struggled.
“You got him?” another man asked. “Yeah, but he’s a fighter.”
The other man shoved a gun against my abdomen. “Keep that up, and I’ll use this.”
“Boss said to bring him in alive.”
“I don’t see why it matters. It’s not like the boss is going to let him live.”
“Theriot ain’t going to come for him if the little bitch is dead.”
The man with the gun snorted. “He probably ain’t going to come anyway. He’s already thrown this one away.”
Ridiculously, I wanted to scream that I’d left him, not the other way around, as if that mattered. I wanted to fight, but I knew I couldn’t. The smelly man was too strong for me, and I didn’t doubt the second man would shoot me at least to incapacitate me if not to kill. The better shape I was in, the more chance I would have of escaping once they took me wherever we were going. They hustled me down the alley and shoved me into the trunk of a car. The second man held me at gunpoint as the first wrapped duct tape around my wrists and ankles, then slapped a piece of it over my mouth. That was the first time I’d gotten a good look at him. It was Charles
Landry, the enormous man with a beard I’d recognized as the one who’d been watching Remington’s house. The one who was supposed to be dead.
When they closed the trunk, I was sure I was going to suffocate. I had to concentrate to breathe slowly in and out of my nose. Tears tracked down my cheeks as the car started and began to move. Remington had nearly broken me. I’d lost what would probably be my only chance at my fantasy life. I’d thought I’d sunk as low as I could, but now thanks to my short-lived relationship with Remington, I wasn’t going to live long enough to show up for the job interviews I’d so desperately sought.
39
Remington
I’d been more of an asshole than usual since Henri had left. I had no patience for my brothers’ nonsense and no willingness to accept anything less-than-perfect from anyone who worked for the family. I’d snapped at my father, earning a stern lecture and the threat of him stepping back in. I’d endured a lecture from my stepmother about how I was stressing out my father and putting his health in danger. I’d been polite to her, but that was all.
I’d listened to Lance and Corbin tell me all the reasons why I should go after Henri. I’d ignored them. He’d left me. He didn’t want to listen. I wasn’t going to beg him to come back. I wasn’t going to see him at all, unless… unless he needed me, but he didn’t. I knew that because I had a man on him. No way in hell was I going to let anything happen to him. Thankfully, he’d moved out of the horrible apartment he’d been living in. He wasn’t a working boy anymore. He was trying to get a legal job and was moving on with his life. That’s what I needed to do if only I could get Henri out of my mind.
I thought about him all day no matter how I tried to distract myself. I barely slept because when I did, I dreamed of him. After two weeks without him, I was strung out, drinking too much, sleeping too little, and fueling myself with coffee and anger.
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