by Cat Johnson
TWENTY-ONE
Sarah
I woke to the smell of coffee and bacon.
That was enough to have me throwing on a robe and rushing downstairs.
I’d braced myself to see Boone at the stove, most likely shirtless. What I saw instead was a tall girl with long blonde hair and cut-off denim shorts that didn’t come near to covering her mile-long legs.
“Um, hello?” I said, wondering who the hell was in my house.
She turned and smiled. “Hi. I’m Shalene.” She pointed to herself. “We met at the diner the first day you were in town.”
I was relieved to see her familiar face, until I realized what Shalene’s presence meant in regard to Boone.
“I remember. Where’s Boone?” I asked.
“He, uh, had stuff to do at the farm.” Shalene’s slow, uncertain-sounding answer told me she was making up an excuse for him as she went along.
Dammit. I’d assumed he’d be disappointed that the sexual part of our relationship was over, but quitting? I’d never meant for him to quit over this.
“Stewie will be sad not to see him.” So would I, truth be told.
“Oh, he’ll be over this morning to pick up Stewie and take him to the farm for the day. Then I’ll be back later this afternoon to take over again for the night shift.”
“I see.” I nodded.
So it was just me he was quitting. He was still going to watch Stewie, as long as I wasn’t around.
“Scrambled eggs and bacon good? I brought over some fresh eggs from the farm.”
“Uh, yeah. Sure. Thanks.”
“Boone told me Stewie likes cereal so I’ll feed him that when he wakes up.”
“Great.”
Leave it to Boone to make sure Stewie was being well taken care of, even in his absence. He was a truly good guy . . . and that made cutting things completely off with him both harder and more necessary.
He’d be easy to fall for. And I definitely could not let myself do that.
The buzzing of my cell phone in the pocket of my robe had me frowning. It was early for calls. Maybe it was Boone.
I struggled to get it out and glanced at the screen.
It was an unknown number, which, normally, I would ignore. Except for now. I remembered a call from Liza could come from anywhere.
I rushed to answer it as I walked into the living room for some privacy. “Hello?”
“Hey. Sorry. I just did the math on the time change and realized how early it is there,” Liza said.
“It’s fine. I’m up. It’s a workday.”
“I’m glad I didn’t wake you. But I’m guessing Stewie’s still asleep.”
“Yeah. You guessed correctly. I can wake him—”
“No. Don’t. Let him sleep.”
My poor sister had managed only two calls with her son in the last week. I knew that must be killing her.
That alone should have made me feel less sorry for myself. Less sad that I had to end it with my ridiculously young lover.
I cringed at the word but that’s what he was. Was. Past tense. That word sucked too.
“So tell me what’s happening in good old Mudville,” Liza said.
“Not much. Although I don’t get out around here much with work. Apparently, there’s some sort of fall festival coming up. Food. Music. It sounds kind of like a county fair.”
“Ooo, that sounds fun. I bet Stewie would love that. Are you going?”
“Yeah. I guess I should take him over for a little while.”
“Don’t sound so enthusiastic about it, Aunt Sarah.” Liza’s comment dripped with sarcasm.
“I’m sorry. It has nothing to do with Stewie. I love spending time with him. Really.”
“Then what’s up?”
I sighed. “I did something stupid and now I’m paying the price.”
“What?”
“It’s nothing. Don’t waste your phone call on my drama.”
“My phone call, my choice. Spill.”
My sister was my best friend. Even with the age gap between us. If I did talk to anyone about Boone it would be her.
Finally I gave in. “So I kind of, um, fell for the male nanny who happens to be younger than you are.”
“Oh. My. God. Tell me more.”
I let out a sad laugh. “There’s nothing to tell. It was over almost as soon as it began. We were out last night and I heard some girls his age commenting about how I was too old to be with him. That was all it took. All of my insecurities came flying back. About me, and Greg, and how I might be unlovable.”
My voice cracked on the last word as the tears began to flow.
I drew in a shaky breath. “Jesus, I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I’m so emotional.”
“Don’t you dare apologize. First of all, if this younger guy is into you and you’re into him, who the hell cares how old you are or he is? Second, but no less important, you are not unlovable. That ex-boyfriend of yours is a self-centered, ball-less asshole who doesn’t know a good thing when he has it.”
Thoughts of the swear jar on the kitchen counter flew into my mind as I listened to Liza’s profanity-laced rant. That, of course, brought to mind Boone, which only made my tears fall faster.
I swiped away the dampness on my cheeks. “There’s more. Our favorite cousin is getting married.” That was a joke because Liza knew there had always been a bit of a rivalry between me and June.
“Ugh. I’m glad I’m away.”
I snorted. “Yeah, sad but true, you’re the lucky one being deployed. Of course, I have to go. And Greg and the groom are friends so . . .”
“The asshole is going to be there,” Liza finished my sentence.
“Yup.” I let out a teary laugh. “Nothing like seeing the guy who dumped you a mere six months ago after you dated for four years at a family wedding. Every relative there who knows is going to pity me. And those who don’t know will be asking when I’m going to finally get married and have kids before all my eggs are old and dead.”
“Hey, you’re welcome to bring Stewie and pretend he’s yours.”
“I might have considered that, except June specified no children.”
“What a bitch,” Liza spat.
“Yup,” I agreed.
“When is this stupid wedding?” she asked.
So much had been happening in my life, it took me a second to remember what day and date it was today. When I figured it out, it was not good news.
“It’s this weekend,” I told her as dread descended upon me.
“Well, you know what you have to do, right?”
“Pretend I’m sick and not go?” That was looking like my best option at the moment. I could send a card and a really nice check and be done with it.
“No,” Liza said emphatically. “You have to go and look absolutely amazing. What dresses do you have? Sexy ones.”
“I have work clothes with me. All my sexy dresses, as you call them, are at my apartment.”
“Then go and get them. This is war, Sarah. You have to come armed.”
I smiled. “You’re starting to sound like a soldier.”
“Eh, wearing the uniform does that to a person. See? Clothes matter.”
“Yes. I know. I’ll see what I have,” I finally agreed.
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
“Good. Not I gotta go. My time is up.”
“Okay.” I was sadder than usual when hanging up with my sister.
“Kiss Stewie for me. Bye.”
“I will. Bye.” I rushed to get the last words in before the line went dead. Sighing, I lowered the cell from my ear and stood.
When I turned toward the kitchen, I saw Shalene in the doorway.
She cringed. “Sorry. I didn’t want to interrupt your call, but your eggs are ready.”
“Oh. Thanks.” Since she’d gone to so much trouble, I couldn’t tell her I would have been happier with just a cup of coffee.
I was eating way more than usual sin
ce I’d moved here. A symptom of being around the abnormally nice people in this town.
Although not everyone was nice here, were they? I remembered the encounter in the bathroom at the bar yesterday.
Mudville had its mix of good and bad, just like any other place. It wasn’t the fairytale village I’d first thought it to be.
I’d have to remember that when I started to weaken and think I could have had my own fairytale ending with Boone.
Happily-ever-afters were only in books.
This was real life and it was time I got back to mine.
TWENTY-TWO
Boone
I eased my truck up the side street, trying to get a look at the driveway at the Van de Berg house to make sure Sarah’s car was gone before I pulled in.
A drone would be handy about now. In the absence of that, I’d have to suck it up and do a drive-by instead.
The damn hedges on the property were so old and overgrown, it was impossible to get a clear view of the entire driveway until I was in front of the damn house.
Next time I talked to Brandon I was going to tell him those hedges needed a good trimming. They were impeding my spying, but he didn’t need to know the reason.
Thankfully, the only car parked there was Shalene’s.
I pulled in behind it and ran up the front steps. I was a little concerned that Stewie was going to have a meltdown when he woke up and found me not there.
Shalene was great but she was pretty much a stranger to the kid.
I knocked and then tried the front door. It was unlocked. I took a step inside and called, “Sha?”
She skidded around the corner from the kitchen. “You need to come in here right now.”
Shit. What had happened?
I ran to where she’d disappeared back through the doorway. But when I reached the kitchen, I didn’t find any emergency. Stewie sat at the table eating dry cereal with his hands while watching a cartoon on Shalene’s cell phone propped up in front of him.
“Jesus—I mean gee whiz. What’s wrong? You scared the hell—heck out of me.”
“I see that swear jar is working really well.” She snorted. “Come here.”
She pulled me to the far end of the kitchen.
“Do you know what’s going on with Sarah?” she hissed.
“No.” I wished I did. “Do you?”
“Yeah, I do.” She nodded.
My eyes widened. “Tell me.”
“Were you out with her at the bar recently?”
“Yes. I took her and Stewie to dinner at the MRI last night.”
“Well, she overheard somebody say she was too old for you.”
I mumbled a curse and this time, I didn’t even try to temper it.
My jaw set in anger at what my cousin had just revealed, I glanced quickly at Stewie. He was still in a screen-induced daze.
I assumed he hadn’t heard and focused back on Shalene. “I knew something happened but she wouldn’t tell me.”
“There’s more,” Shalene began.
“More?” Christ, what else was this woman carrying around on her shoulders?
“She’s going to some wedding . . .”
I nodded. “Her cousin’s on Saturday.”
The wedding I was no longer invited to. The invitation was hanging on the fridge as a reminder.
The day after she’d invited me, I’d secretly gone out and bought a new suit for it. Okay, it was used from Red’s Resale shop but it was like new and it fit like it was made for me. I’d wanted to surprise Sarah by dressing up.
“Her ex-boyfriend is going to be there. Apparently, they dated for like four years and then he dumped her six months ago.”
“Shi—shoot.” I caught myself this time, even though my heart was pounding with what I’d just learned. “She never told me that.”
Shalene tipped her head to one side. “It’s not exactly something a woman wants to admit. She’d still broken up about it. She was crying. She called herself unlovable.”
“Fuck.” One more for the swear jar.
I shook my head. At myself for not seeing how hurt Sarah was. At Sarah for not confiding in me
“How do you know all this? Did she tell you?” I asked.
I had to admit I was a little jealous that Sarah would spill her guts to Shalene but not me.
“No. She was on her phone. I wasn’t trying to overhear, I swear. At least not in the beginning. But once I heard her talking about you . . .” She cringed. “I’m sorry. I’m horrible for eavesdropping like that.”
“Don’t apologize. I needed to know.” I just wished Sarah would have told me herself. “I’ll handle it.”
“Please don’t tell her I told you,” Shalene begged.
“I won’t.” I didn’t know my game plan yet, but I’d figure it out.
Now that I knew what was wrong, I was better equipped to figure out how to deal with it.
I was going to have to prove to Sarah that it didn’t matter what other people thought about us being together.
More than that, I was going to have to repair the damage done to her by the no-ball dickhead who’d dumped her and made her think she was unlovable.
Unlovable!
That guy deserved to be throttled and if I knew where to find him I’d be happy to be the one to do it—
Wait. I did know where to find him.
I knew exactly where he’d be Saturday night. The same place Sarah would be. At that wedding. And there was no way in hell I wasn’t going to be there too.
I turned to my cousin and pulled her in for a big hug. “Thanks, Shay.”
She laughed. “For what?”
“For everything.”
TWENTY-THREE
Sarah
I’d rejected and left behind a dozen dresses in a heap on the floor of my bedroom in Mudville for various reasons.
Some were too revealing. The last thing I wanted to do was look desperate.
Others were too staid. They made me look like the single-minded workaholic spinster I’d become.
This one fell somewhere in between. With my highest heels, the look was understated but still sexy.
The color—solid black—seemed appropriate since I was mourning the death of my love life.
I’d been happy with this dress before I’d left the house, but I still had the urge to hide as I walked through the door of the venue now.
I managed to arrive at the last minute and hide in the back of the church for the ceremony, but here at the cocktail hour, there was no hiding.
Familiar faces swarmed around me. Young. Old. Some I hadn’t seen in a decade. Others were far too familiar. I saw my mother across the room, dragging my poor father toward the shrimp table, no doubt so she could take two plates full and not look like a glutton.
I’d called and tried my best to talk her out of attending, mainly so I could get away with not being here too, but there was no talking her out of it.
She swore my father wasn’t contagious. Short of making her produce a doctor’s note, I didn’t know what else to do to prevent them from coming.
At least while she was occupied with the buffet table, I would have a moment’s peace.
I spotted a waiter with a tray filled with champagne and snagged a glass, thereby avoiding the growing line at the bar.
Avoiding people for as long as possible was paramount. Eventually I’d have to sit for dinner. My only hope was that my cousin had sat me at the singles table with a bunch of people I didn’t know.
That would be perfect. Small talk with strangers I could handle. It was encountering the people I knew that struck fear in my heart.
Speaking of my worst fear . . . Even from across the room I recognized Greg.
He had a distinct way of walking, a cadence and stride I should be familiar with after four years together. And the reason we were no longer together was hanging on his arm.
Oh, he’d said he’d broken up with me because we were too different. The fact he’d moved in with Jana
so quickly after he'd dumped me had me thinking she had at least a little something to do with our break-up.
Although, to be honest, if our relationship had been as good as I’d assumed, she wouldn’t have been able to break us up.
Maybe Greg was right. I was too gloomy, always looking at the glass as half empty. And I suppose I was no fun, like he said. At the end of the work week I wanted to put on PJs and watch a movie, not get dressed up and party all night.
Yup. All work and no play, that was me. Who would want to be with someone like that?
I lifted the glass to my lips and realized my hand was shaking. I forced a swallow past the tightness in my throat, but almost choked it back up when I saw Greg’s gaze zero in on me where I stood in the corner of the room. I should have hidden better.
He said something to Jana and then started in my direction.
Panicked, I looked for an escape and found none.
Dammit, I’d cornered myself. I was nowhere near an exit.
Hell, I’d even settle for a coat room or the kitchen at this point, but there was nothing at my end of the room but windows that didn’t open. Had they opened I might have seriously considered crawling out one.
Then he was there, looking me up and down. “Sarah.”
“Greg.” My heart pounded at least triple speed.
There was a good chance I was going to vomit. There was nothing in my stomach except champagne, and maybe the remains of this morning’s coffee, but no food. Still, it would be embarrassing. I’d be the talk of the family forever.
Greg had the nerve to make a show of glancing pointedly around me. “You here alone?”
I wanted to say, yes, I am alone, you son of bitch, because you broke my heart and damaged me so badly I’m incapable of having a healthy normal relationship ever again.
I was broken. And even if I did heal, I had no doubt the scars would remain, invisible, but there, subtly affecting every thought, every feeling, I’d have for the rest of my life.
He didn’t deserve to have that power over me. But somehow, he did. I had a sinking suspicion that was because I’d given it to him.
I swallowed and the nausea returned. I’d just opened my mouth to deliver the agonizing answer that I had come alone when I saw an achingly familiar figure striding up behind Greg.