“I’m going to spank you now.”
Alena’s head jerked up, her cheeks blazing. Fists formed at her sides. “What? Why ?”
Raven held her gaze, not speaking for a long minute. Then two. Alena’s head drooped, and her hands unclenched. “You will find an assortment of implements lying on your bed. Choose one and present it to me, and ask me nicely for your first spanking of the day.”
What?
Before Alena’s could give voice to her outburst, Raven tilted her chin downward. Just a fraction of an inch, but enough to make her intentions plain. Have at it , she’d said. Get it out of your system.
Feeling foolish and embarrassed at not standing her ground, Alena shuffled back to the tiny bedroom. Well, tiny by Raven’s standards. Pretty average, if not big, compared with Alena’s cozy rooms at home. She should have said no, thrown her head back, and refused to comply. But the unexpected softness of Raven’s appearance and surroundings had confused Alena. It was almost as if Raven wanted her to rebel, but why?
Uneasy, Alena pushed past her open suitcase to gasp. On her bed, nestled on top of a sweet, old-fashioned quilt, lay a range of instruments that tugged at her belly. A long-handled olive wood spoon, polished until it gleamed. A kid leather glove. Glove? What was the glove for?
Alena turned the glove over, puzzling at its appearance. Surely Raven wouldn’t spank with a bit of leather?
A Ping Pong paddle, red dimpled cushion on one side and blue on the other. A heavy clothes brush, with the varnish worn smooth on the flat side. A silicone spatula, hefty in its metal handle but light on the flexible, flat tip. Alena shuddered as a cousin of Blackie came to view. She hated wood and didn’t want the pain.
Thoughtful Raven had provided wood-free alternatives, but they made Alena’s insides squirm. The awful, nasty loopy johnny, the source of torment for her poor backside. The thin loops of rubber landed almost noiselessly but lit a fire of unimaginable pain. Riding crops, floggers, a quirt, lexan paddle…
Alena gave a helpless shrug. None of these, that was her choice! Why should she get a spanking for no reason at all?
Have at it , came Raven’s warning disguised as an invitation. Try me.
What if Alena never went out? Raven would give up after waiting too long, and they could go about their day. Alena could plunge into her editing, and no one would be the wiser.
You will be dealt with swiftly and severely.
Alena pressed her knees together and a hand to her pelvis. How could Raven’s threats give her a delicious, inexplicable thrill even as they made her want to shout, “No!” No, she would not comply. No, she would not play the game. No, she would not…
If Alena chose an instrument for her own spanking, she would be culpable. If she carried it into the pool room and asked for the spanking, as Raven required, Alena could hardly protest it wasn’t fair.
I want to be my own person.
Alena blinked, startled. Where had that thought come from? She was a grown adult, independent, and in charge of her life.
Except when you get spanked like a naughty child for staying up too late.
Unreasonably, Alena wished Raven would come to get her. Why make Alena do this on her own? Why pretend she had a choice when she didn’t?
With her chin up, Alena marched back to Raven. Empty-handed.
“No,” she told the woman who had funded the trip and escorted her in the finest of luxuries. “If you want it, you’ll have to get it yourself.”
Warning bells rang in the back of her head, and a blaring siren warned of incoming disaster. This was the woman who had spanked her not once, not twice, but three times when Alena refused to stay in bed. Raven looked sweet, but she knew how to scare Alena when it really mattered.
“I beg your pardon?” Raven raised an eyebrow, smoothing the rich folds of her dress over her thighs.
Alena gulped, picturing herself facedown over those thighs. Stop! You’re going to regret this! Her better side shrieked for attention, but the simmering resentment spoke up more loudly.
“I said no.” There. Try arguing with that.
“You don’t get to say no.” Raven smiled. Smiled! Oh, it was funny, was it?
“I just said it.” How else could Alena argue? Accepting money meant giving consent. Right? However wrong she might be, she had to say no.
Raven motioned for Alena to come closer. After a moment, Alena did. Raven opened her legs and held Alena in between her knees, as if she were a very small and wayward child.
“You did. Please think very, very carefully before you make your next move. If you need to rebel to prove something to yourself, you may shout or scream or argue until you’re blue in the face. Then you will be punished for your disobedience, as well as spanked because it’s Sunday and I choose to spank you.”
Alena gasped, pulling away, but Raven took her by the shoulders and stared at her straight on.
“You will be spanked, Alena. Like it or not, that is my decision. Whether your spanking is a simple morning greeting or a full-out punishment is up to you. Now, please choose an implement and bring it to me. Ask me nicely to spank you so you can learn how to submit like a good girl.”
Alena shivered despite the subtropical heat. “I said no,” she repeated, but this time with a plaintive note rather than a defiant one.
Raven stern gaze softened just a smidge. “Your displeasure is noted. It’s a reasonable response to the promise of pain. Do you want to learn submission for real, my girl? Or do you want to go back to stories and fantasies, safe in your vanilla world?”
Alena trembled. Vanilla safety sounded quite nice, really.
In a much softer tone, Raven gave her one more instruction. “You want to assert yourself. You’re a grown-up woman who doesn’t need anyone telling her what to do. You’re telling yourself these fibs to assuage your pride. Is that worth the extra punishment when you’ll get spanked anyway?”
“No!” Alena actually stamped her foot. Dazed, she wondered whether she had ever stamped her foot, even as a child.
Unmoved, Raven continued holding Alena and recited her explanation once more. “You were going to get a few swats with whatever implement you chose, and then we’d sit down for a heart-to-heart about how we would handle these two weeks. But since you’ve chosen to make life difficult for yourself, you’ll get a thrashing with the loopy johnny until you won’t be able to stand comfortably, let alone sit down. Then, I’ll give you the original spanking I promised.”
Alena sucked her breath in horror. Stupid! She should have known Raven would pull a dirty trick like this.
Dirty? She’d wanted Alena to obey, hadn’t she?
Alena ignored the inner voice. Raven wanted her to let go and get rebellion out of her system, did she? She’d get what she asked for, plus more.
Alena turned on her heel and stomped out of the room, intent on retreating to the guest room and slamming the door. Instead, a gentle voice stopped her in her tracks.
“I didn’t peg you as a quitter, Alena.”
Coward. Raven might as well have said the word out loud. Memories came flooding back of Alena gritting her teeth at the audition when she tried to prove she could handle any spanking Raven dished out. She’d proven her mettle, even if the audition hadn’t ended well.
“Do you want to play at pretend submission, or do you want to learn submission for real?”
Raven’s challenge left Alena gasping once more. Pretend! Real hurts too much! In spite of her better judgment, Alena turned around to face the woman who now decided her fate. She bit the end of her thumbnail and stared wordlessly. Maybe Raven would grow conciliatory. Offer a fresh start, forget the latest threats, and return to the sunniness of a vacation home. The squirming inside made it difficult to speak. Raven had overpowered Alena once before, with notable results. It had been agonizing, painful, and humiliating.
At least until Alena had submitted and Raven came to her afterward to give comfort. That “comfort” had made the horrible experie
nce worth it. In fact, Alena had replayed the scene in her mind over and over since that night. That moment when Raven’s dominance took over, Alena had experienced desire and giddiness unlike any she’d felt before.
What strange paradox was it, that Raven could awaken all of Alena’s needs by insisting on what Alena didn’t want?
Raven watched Alena. Perhaps she sensed the myriad of confusing emotions, for she spoke gently. “You will be spanked, my dear. You will submit. I will still respect and care about you. A little later, you will be spanked again. As long as you are under my care, you will be spanked whenever I say so. The sooner you learn that, the better.”
No! But Alena kept her mouth firmly closed, and she continued to listen.
“It will hurt. If you choose to defy me as you just did, it will hurt a good deal. If you choose to obey, we will quickly establish a routine far more pleasant for both of us.”
Alena licked her lips. “Pleasant how?”
Raven smiled. “That would be telling, wouldn’t it?”
The rush of giddiness surged through Alena again. “Can it be pleasant now?”
“Ah.” Raven’s smile turned into an indulgent tsk. “It would have been, if not for your little tantrum. Better to nip that silliness in the beginning, don’t you think?”
Alena swayed. The loopy johnny! Raven had used it only once, and the terrible memory had lingered long after the marks and pain faded. Alena gave herself a mental kick. What had she been thinking? Rebellion wasn’t worth that kind of pain. “What if I go and pick out something now?” she asked in a very small voice. She couldn’t help hoping, after all.
“Then I would thank you for your obedience and remind you to fetch the loopy johnny, as I instructed.”
Alena’s stomach twisted. She should be glad. The submissives on Kinklife complained if their dominants didn’t follow through. They wanted their roles to be taken seriously. Maybe Alena might, if it didn’t mean the loopy johnny.
Raven waited, unnervingly patient. “Or I might suggest that you take up your case with your friend Mistress Lorelei, and see how she would handle it.”
Alena’s heart leaped. Mistress Lorelei might have scolded a bit now and then, but she was loving and understanding. “Really?”
Raven nodded. “If that is what you wish, and you agree to abide by her decision.”
Alena waited, feeling for the hidden catch. “But…”
“No buts. Only that if you seek her decision in this matter, you allow her to decide.”
It was too good to be true. Mistress Lorelei would take Alena aside for a talk, coach her through the situation, and clarify things for Raven. She’d done it before, and Raven had shown up on Alena’s doorstep with an apology.
“You won’t be offended? Or hurt?”
Raven seemed to hide a knowing smile. “Not at all, my dear. But if you’re not to receive your morning spanking, you’ll have to start on your chores.” She picked up the shiny phone and handed it to Alena.
Alena accepted. She was getting away with saying no? Seriously? She stared at the vibrating phone with its notifications. Finish first round of edits. She edged toward the door, giving Raven furtive, puzzled glances. Instead of annoyed or even angry, the older woman almost looked amused. Satisfied, even?
With an uneasy twinge, Alena sat down on her unspanked bottom and opened her computer.
Maybe this vacation wouldn’t be as bad as she thought.
Chapter Fifteen
Dear Lorelei,
Thank you for your wonderful hospitality. Please don’t worry about anything. I think Alena will be too nervous to enjoy dinner tonight, anyway. Although it may be interesting to watch our naughty girls try to eat! Though, from what you’ve said, Celine has been an angel.
Thank you also for your suggestion and generous offer. If it’s truly all right with you, I’ll take you up on it. Alena is composing a letter of her own, and she has agreed to the conditions you set. I must admit your idea was genius. Now that Alena thinks the swap is her idea, she won’t protest tonight.
She has a low pain threshold, although she often makes the most fuss before the spanking. Wooden implements are particularly effective with her. Please don’t use restraints, even if she resists. She may be shocked enough not to fight. She also needs a good deal of time to process instructions if she doesn’t like them. It looks like stubbornness (probably is), but it’s also her lack of experience.
I’m very much looking forward to chatting with you about how you handle Celine. She was new when you began, right? Yet from what Alena tells me, things have gone much more smoothly for the two of you. I hope you’ll share your secret.
It’s a good question about privacy versus staying close in case of difficulty. Why don’t you use the living room, while Celine and I can use the sunroom? Celine and I will chat until you send Alena to me, and then we’ll go from there.
Be gentle with my girl. I know she needs discipline and I’ve been too lenient with her, but she will hate it.
What am I saying? She’s supposed to hate it, and she’ll learn from it. I’ll do my best not to interfere.
What are your special instructions for Celine? Are you sure she’s all right with the trade?
Sincerely,
Raven
P.S. The flowers you left everywhere smell amazing. What a paradise!
Dear Mistress Lorelei,
Raven asked me to write you a letter explaining our situation. She suggested that I ask your opinion about a disagreement. She says if I talk to you, she’ll agree to what you say. She promises that she doesn’t mind my asking you. I hope you don’t mind?
This is hard to write! I don’t know what to say. You’re my friend, aren’t you? And you know how hard things have been. Sometimes Raven doesn’t make any sense, or she demands things that aren’t reasonable.
I don’t want to make her sound bad. But I think you were right when you said I should make sure I really want this. Most of the time, I think I don’t…at least until I see Raven again. Then her sparkly eyes, or shiny hair, or the swish of her dress makes my heart skip. She’s the most beautiful woman in the entire world, and she calls me her girl. I can’t believe my luck…but then I remember the catch. If I’m hers, I lose being me.
How do you work things out with starrygirl? It still seems weird to think of you as Gemma and starrygirl as Celine. It’s fun to imagine the two of you here before you turned it into the guesthouse.
Raven says you’re coming over tonight and we’ll all talk. I’m supposed to let you know ahead of time, and then she says we’ll abide by your decision. So, I guess that makes you a spanky Dear Abby.
I might as well be honest. I’m not doing what she says. She tells me to do something, and I can’t. Doesn’t starrygirl ever refuse to do what you say? You don’t get mad at her every time, do you?
Raven won’t explain anything. She makes rules for me but won’t talk about them, like this tracking thing on a phone she gave to me. I suppose I sound like a spoiled brat not to be grateful for a brand-new, fancy phone, but why won’t she talk about it? She says if I don’t allow the tracking, she’ll send me home on the next plane.
She’s so stubborn . She gets annoyed all the time, and I don’t know why. Am I supposed to be a jack-in-the-box, springing up all the time on command? Only it sounds ungrateful. How I hate that word!
Okay, so this is what happened this morning. We arrived, I was in a good mood, and we got settled in. Then Raven said, without any warning, that I had to get a spanking. For absolutely no reason at all. She wouldn’t explain (again!), wouldn’t talk about it, and wouldn’t give me a chance. I hadn’t done anything wrong, or at least not that I could see.
I said it wasn’t fair, because it wasn’t, and she escalated things. For not doing what she said immediately, even though she wouldn’t make things clear, she jumped right to something I hate the most. That’s even more unfair.
It’s just…why would any sane person want this? Why don’t
I ever get to say no? What have I gotten myself into? The fun stuff is wonderful, but I can’t handle the other parts. Maybe I should just stay at home and read spanking stories. Leave the real-life stuff to people crazy enough to like it.
Sorry! I didn’t mean you and starry are crazy. But how did you know? I mean that the serious parts of D/s were for you, and not just the fun ones? Should I break it off with Raven? I would hate to. I love going to her every week, and I love her house and staff and how she tries so hard to make things nice for me.
Do you think I can ask her to be my vanilla sugar mama and skip the discipline?
I know. Probably not. Do I have to walk away? Just the thought makes my chest tight.
Can you talk to her for me? Make her understand, the way you did before?
I don’t know if I’ll be able to face you tonight after sending this letter. I don’t want you to think badly of me. I hope you won’t.
If you can think of a way to handle this, please tell us?
You worked your magic before. Maybe you can do it again.
Love from Alena aka A1star
Chapter Sixteen
After all of the instant messages, conversations, and posts on shared discussion threads, Mistress Lorelei turned out to be a petite woman with masses of dark hair and a voice so soft I had to lean forward to hear her.
“Just a little something,” her wife coaxed as she set a beribboned and foil-stickered paper bag into Raven’s surprised hands.
Raven opened a box filled with two slabs of fudge, one minty chocolate and the other cherry vanilla.
“Try some,” Celine urged, standing a bit taller as Raven gave her the once-over. “Our friend Lissa makes it, and it’s wonderful.”
Gemma, the forbidding and powerful Mistress Lorelei, carried a ceramic blue and white slow cooker to the counter and plugged it in. “Chili,” she announced. “I know you said no dinner, but this keeps really well. You can have a quick meal tomorrow or later during the week. Our friend Milly sent over bread to go with it, too. She made a batch this afternoon.” Gemma took out a package swathed in a flour sack dishtowel, unwrapping the white cloth to show us the golden, buttery goodness inside. She set a little dish of butter next to the loaf, leaving an inviting array in the kitchen.
Raven's Diary: Book Two Page 5