by K. A. Linde
“Easier when you’re on top of me,” he admitted. “But this isn’t going to convince me to let you off the hook.”
“What about a blow job? Will that change your mind?”
He considered it for a solid second. “No. But I’ll take one later after I take you out tonight.”
“You’re taking me out?”
“Yes, I have reservations at eight. And if you don’t have a new dress in that new wardrobe, then we can’t go.”
I grumbled under my breath. “Fine. I’ll call Jane.” I reached for my phone, but Penn dragged me back down on top of him.
“I’m reconsidering that blow job.”
I laughed. “Too late. You’d rather I go shopping.”
He kissed me hard on the mouth. “Convince me, Nat. Convince me.”
I groaned. “You’ll be the death of me.”
Then I convinced him…thoroughly.
Chapter 11
Natalie
An hour later, I stepped into Bergdorf Goodman with Penn’s black card in my wallet. I’d convinced the fuck out of him, and he’d still insisted I needed new clothes. Bastard.
So here I was, meeting Jane for some much-needed girl time and a whole new fucking wardrobe. The bill was going to terrify me. It was going to take every ounce of willpower not to balk at the prices and agree to the outrageous sum that was sure to be the end result of this excursion.
“Natalie!” a voice called behind me.
I turned in time to see Jane striding into Bergdorf with a pair of her signature Chanel sunglasses pushed to the top of her ash-blonde hair. She was dressed in a pair of black leggings and a soft, fuzzy pink sweater. She looked like she’d just slung it on after a run, but I knew that she didn’t run. Ever.
“Jane, it’s good to see you.”
She embraced me, planting a kiss on each of my cheeks.
“It’s been too long. I couldn’t believe it when I saw your number. I thought you’d be ignoring me because of what had happened at the Percy wedding. I told you it would all blow over. And look, you’re back in the city with your picture on Page Six.” She dramatically swung her boho Louis Vuitton bag onto her shoulder. “Which we need to talk about. You came to Trinity and didn’t even stop to say hi.” She pouted with her bottom lip sticking out. “I mean, are you mad at me or something?”
“No,” I said right away, “I’m not. I’ve just been dealing with all of that stuff. Needed some me time.”
Jane shot me a mischievous look. “With Penn Kensington I hear. Oh look, we’re both with Kensington men!”
“I suppose we are,” I said faintly.
It was so…strange to think that Penn and I were together again. And we were. We spent all our time together. But there was so much left unsaid between us that I wasn’t sure if we were entirely on the same page. The transition to us again had been almost too easy. Being with him had always been effortless. But it felt unfinished in a way. And I didn’t know how to fix that. If I even could. Or if time was the only healer.
“All right. Tell me everything that you’ve done since getting back into the city.”
I followed Jane through the department store. “Well, I moved into a new apartment, the thing with Penn, and I’ve been talking to Elizabeth Cunningham.”
“I saw that stunning dress you wore to my event. Is she dressing you now?”
I nodded. “Yes. For some occasions. But she said she’d hook me up for Fashion Week.”
Jane squealed, turning her wide eyes to mine. “You’re coming to Fashion Week?”
“Yes, though I’m not entirely clear on what I’m going to do while I’m there.”
“It’s only the best week in the entire world for fashion enthusiasts. Fashion converges on Manhattan, and the most brilliant designers in the world showcase the best they have to offer.” Jane’s ambiguous accent lifted with her excitement. “Everyone who matters will be seated in the front row of the most exclusive shows. We’re there as much to be photographed watching as the models are to wear the clothing. Both look good for the designer. And then there’s the gala! Which is to die for.”
“That sounds like…something I can handle,” I admitted. It was nice, getting the rundown from Jane.
I didn’t have to pretend with her. She had liked me for who I was from the beginning. And that was refreshing.
“You’ll totally handle it. And I’ll be there with you the whole time. Elizabeth has me on the seating chart for her event.”
“Oh good,” I said as we reached the personal shopper, Sandra, that Jane was familiar with.
“Hello, ladies. How can I help you?” Sandra asked.
Jane looked like she was about to answer for me, but I jumped in. I steeled myself for this encounter. Readied myself to act like the other Upper East Siders and not flinch from the cost of a damn thing.
“My old wardrobe is so last season,” I told Sandra with a bored smile. “I need all the latest and a special cocktail dress for tonight.”
“Of course,” Sandra said, not missing a beat. “Right this way. Let’s get you started. How many pieces are you looking to fill out this season?”
Jane raised an eyebrow at me in question.
“All of them,” I replied. “Let’s start fresh.”
Sandra’s eyes glittered. “Well then, I’m so pleased with what we just had come in. With your coloring and that hair, I know exactly where to start.”
* * *
Hours and hours later, I had a new wardrobe. Between Sandra and Jane, I had been in impeccable hands. They knew exactly what to pair with what, when I would wear each piece, and which styles were most flattering. I hadn’t even looked at the sum at the bottom before I signed my name with a flourish. The clothes would be delivered that afternoon. I hadn’t even known that was an option.
Jane’s eyes glittered with mischief by the time we were done. “I cannot believe he gave you his credit card.”
“It’s not a big deal,” I said. Even though it was.
“Are you kidding? Court hasn’t even given me his. We’ve been dating for, like, two years.”
“Yeah, but you have your own money,” I said with a shrug.
“True. True,” Jane said.
It was weird to even be talking about this with her. If Penn was to be believed, money wasn’t discussed between Upper East Siders. Maybe Jane was different with me because she knew where I’d come from. Or maybe it was her weird European roots.
“Come on,” Jane said, leading me down Fifth Avenue. “While we were shopping, I called for an afternoon at the spa. If you have a sexy date with Penn, then makeovers are a hundred percent in order.” She ran her fingers through the ends of my silvery-white hair. “Maybe we could dye your hair.”
I pulled my hair back from her hand. “My hair?”
“Yeah. To go with your new wardrobe and boyfriend. It would all fit. A little bit more…respectable, you know?”
“The silver is kind of my signature.”
“Yeah, but it does stand out,” Jane reasoned. “I love it. Don’t get me wrong. But it went with your old clothes and old vibe. This new Natalie could use an update, and this silver takes any color.”
My brain screeched to a halt. The clothes, the boyfriend, the apartment. It was all too new. Too different. So, so not me. And I knew that it was a sacrifice that I needed to make to achieve what I wanted. That the ends justified the means. Still, I couldn’t let go of my hair.
It was me. It was more than just a color.
Maybe people saw it and thought Hollywood model, but I couldn’t give it up. It felt like the last thing that I refused to leave behind. I loved it way too much.
I shook my head. “I can’t part with it.”
Jane shrugged. “Just a suggestion. Could you imagine Penn’s face if you showed up at his doorstep tonight as a blonde?”
Yes. He’d probably lose his mind. He loved my hair as much as I did. It was a concession I wasn’t willing to give to this cause.
“He loves my hair.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll back off. But we are doing intense eyeliner,” Jane said with a laugh.
She went off on a tangent about some French makeup artist she knew who had insisted that winged eyeliner was a staple to any outfit. Jane could talk about people she’d met all day if I let her.
I pulled out my phone to check my messages while she chatted away. I had one from Penn that said he was regretting going into the office, which I responded to with devil horns. And then an email from my agent, asking if I could chat real quick.
I furrowed my brow and made an excuse to Jane before dialing Caroline’s number. I hadn’t heard from her since she told me my career was effectively over.
“Hello?” Caroline said into the phone.
“Caroline, it’s Natalie. You asked if I had a moment to talk.”
“Yes, Natalie. How are you?”
“I’m doing well. Thank you for asking.”
“That’s wonderful. I actually called with some excellent news.”
“Really?” I asked in surprise.
Since when did my literary agent have good news to offer me? I’d thought my time had passed. That they wouldn’t touch my Olivia Davies books, and now that everyone knew Olivia and Natalie were one in the same, they wouldn’t take my literary novels either. I’d burned both bridges. Also because of fucking Lewis.
“Yes. I heard from Gillian. I guess there was a mix-up.” Caroline was silent a second as if she still couldn’t believe it. “I’ve been in this business thirty years, and this has never happened to me, but Warren wants to purchase It’s a Matter of Opinion. They’re offering the same advance as Bet On It.”
I blinked. Then blinked again.
“They want to do what?” I gasped.
“They’re offering seven figures for the manuscript, for publication next year.”
“But…why?”
“Honestly, I have no idea. But what does it matter? This is great news.”
Then I shook out of the excitement and stupor of the thought that Gillian was going to buy my literary novel and I’d finally be fine again and I’d have money to live in the city and everything would be all right. Because it wouldn’t.
This wasn’t about my book.
This had nothing to do with my book.
Lewis.
Lewis had done this.
And on one hand…I was so excited that he’d fixed his mistake. Because maybe this would mean my career wasn’t over. But on the other hand, it’d mean that I was subject to his whims. It’d mean that my career was tied to him. It’d mean that he was still in control.
“No,” I said softly.
“Excuse me?”
“Tell them thank you, but no.”
“Natalie, I don’t know if you heard me. This is a major deal.”
“I can’t do it.”
Caroline huffed. “Let’s put this discussion on hold for a few days before I give them an answer. Maybe you should think about it.”
“Fine,” I said. Though my answer wouldn’t change. I was sure of that.
I said good-bye to Caroline and then stared at the building in front of me in shock.
Jane came to my elbow with concern on her face. “What happened?”
“After I left, Lewis blacklisted me from publishing.”
“Oh, Natalie…”
“Yeah. And he just fixed it and told the company to buy my book again.”
“Well, that’s great,” Jane said. She paused when I didn’t smile or respond. “Isn’t it?”
“Not if it means I’m tied to him. Not if it means he can control me.”
Jane scrunched up her tiny nose. “Sounds exactly like Lewis in business.”
My eyes shot to hers. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…you know?”
“I clearly don’t.”
“That whole controlling, possessive thing he does with you, that’s how he is with all business. He’s not particularly liked, but he gets shit done.”
“Huh,” I muttered.
I hadn’t had any interest in Lewis’s business dealings. I didn’t understand them. And I never considered that he treated people or other businesses poorly. But of course, I hadn’t seen any of it because I’d been caught up in him at the time. Now, it was pretty clear.
“Well, he’s not going to control me.”
“Powerful men usually get what they want.”
“They do,” I agreed.
A slow smile stretched on my features. Maybe someone should teach them a lesson.
Chapter 12
Penn
Ding.
My eyes shifted toward the living room in surprise as Totle went racing for the door. I slung my Rolex around my wrist and checked the time. Still a half hour before I needed to pick Natalie up for our date.
“Nat?” I called down the hall as I abandoned the knot I had been tying at my neck and let the two strands of blue fall on either side of my button-up.
“Try again,” a voice called out.
My eyes rose in surprise. “Lark? What are you doing here? You do know that it’s just past seven? Shouldn’t you be working for the next three hours?” I joked.
“Ha-ha.” She smiled, but I could see the exhaustion under her eyes.
Lark worked harder than anyone I knew, and it wasn’t even campaign season yet. My mother wouldn’t gear up for reelection for at least another month or two, and Lark would be there every step of the way.
“No, really, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Then I frowned, thinking of all the reasons Lark normally showed up on my doorstep. She had a habit of sleeping over at one of the crew’s places when she was going through a breakup. “Are you okay? Do I need to hurt someone? Is it Thomas?”
“No, no,” she said quickly. “I’m fine. It’s not about me. Not exactly. It’s about the crew.”
“What about the crew?”
She sighed. “You know what’s going on. We haven’t hung out all together in forever. I feel like I never see any of you. And that’s coming from me.”
“Sure. We’re going through a patch.”
“I was going to let it go,” Lark said, “but I want to call a meeting.”
I snorted. “Like when we were in high school?”
“Yes.”
“Lark…”
“We’re meeting at Rowe’s place tomorrow night.”
“You know that I love you, but I don’t have any interest in seeing Lewis or Katherine. And is she even back from her honeymoon?”
“She got back this morning, and this is exactly the reason you will be there, Penn Kensington.”
I shook my head in disagreement. “There’s no guarantee that I won’t punch Lewis in his smug face…again.”
“You can control yourself for one evening. We need to talk.”
“I’m not going.”
Her green eyes were filled with sorrow. “If you don’t show up, then you’re throwing away decades of friendship. And I think you’re better than that.”
Then she leaned down and petted Totle once more before disappearing back into the elevator, her message delivered.
I cursed at her disappearing back. Just what I did not want to deal with right now. Yes, I had known Lewis and Katherine practically my entire life. Yes, we had more secrets than most people and a sense of jaded loyalty that hadn’t been shaken in over a decade. But we weren’t kids anymore. I didn’t have to deal with their bullshit, especially after what Lewis had done.
My hands clenched into tight balls. Just thinking of him made me want to put my fist through the wall. He’d taken what was mine for sport. If he’d ever had real feelings for Natalie, that file I’d found had changed everything. And I wouldn’t let him hurt her. Not even for our friendship.
I tried to clear away the haze of anger that threatened to overcome me. This wasn’t what I wanted to bring to this date with Natalie. She already knew my thoughts on the topic. And she wasn’t ready to talk about it again yet.
“Fuck,” I grumbled and then went back into my bedroom to finish getting dressed. I’d deal with the crew later.
* * *
My car idled outside of Natalie’s new apartment building, and she came rushing out in a hurry, her sleek black jacket still unbuttoned. My jaw nearly hit the ground.
“Holy shit,” I groaned as a smile caught on her lips.
“Sorry I’m late. Jane insisted on makeovers after shopping.”
My eyes rounded in wonder as I took her in. When I’d told her to go shopping, I hadn’t really known what to expect. This whole lesson thing was a shot in the dark for me. I knew what it meant to be Upper East Side, but I’d never really had to train someone. But the clothes…I loved her in her bohemian style, but this was an all-new Natalie. Gorgeous and sophisticated. Her green dress was fitted perfectly to her figure and cut in a straight A-line. The jacket molded to her shape, clearly very in style and very expensive. Her silvery hair fell down in loose curls, and her makeup was soft, accenting her already-stunning features with a pink lipstick that made me want to kiss it off her hot mouth.
“You look incredible.”
“Thank you,” she said with a laugh. “I’d hope so after four hours at the spa.”
I pulled the door open for her and let her shift into the backseat. I took the seat next to her and couldn’t seem to stop staring. I’d known she was going to be different with new clothing, but I hadn’t anticipated this. How well she fit. How she seemed to carry herself in a completely different way in these clothes.
And even though she looked so much more like the girls I’d grown up with, that silver hair still captivated me. Showing that she was different. She was still my Natalie.
I fingered a curly strand. “I love what you did with it.”
“God, Jane wanted to dye it blonde.”
I nearly choked. “She what?”
“Yeah, I told her no. That I wouldn’t concede that to this mission.” She fidgeted in her seat as if she was uncomfortable talking about it. Which didn’t seem like Natalie at all.