“You’re used to being alone.”
He couldn’t dispute that remark.
“But you don’t have to be.”
She was wrong. Because alone was safer.
Her hand wandered to the front of his jeans. He was hard again but had no intention of losing control one more time. He reached for her wrist, but instead of pulling her away, he pushed her closer, letting her wrap her fingertips around the heavy bulge in his jeans. He groaned at the absolute perfection he found in her touch.
“Not everyone leaves, Kane.” Her whispered words penetrated his thoughts.
She removed her hand, twisting her fingers together in a nervous gesture that revealed she wasn’t any more comfortable with the dynamic between them than he was. Sexual tension and an emotional pull. They couldn’t deny either. The difference was, she’d obviously decided to push past her barriers in order to reach him.
Which meant he’d made the right decision. Someone had to keep their distance, to make things easier in the end. “Why don’t you go over those books while I jump in the shower?”
“Sounds like a plan,” she said.
Kane knew it was merely a temporary reprieve.
* * *
Kayla walked into her bedroom, pausing at the pile of clothes Kane had left lying in a heap on the floor. She liked the casual familiarity the sight implied. Not that she suffered from any delusions that he intended to be a part of her life. That much was obvious.
But she preferred to cling to the hope of the less obvious. The fact that she’d taken control and reached past his defenses. She bent down and picked up his shirt and jeans, clenching Kane’s clothing in her hands. By the time the case was over, he’d understand the difference between being a loner by choice—or necessity.
And thanks to Kane, she was becoming a woman in charge of herself, and her life. One who no longer feared her sexuality. This wasn’t an experience she could regret, no matter what the outcome. But she’d do everything in her power to direct it in her favor.
She tossed the jeans over her arm, and something fell to the floor with a thud. Kayla bent down to retrieve his wallet, some spare change, and…
“What’s this?” Even as her hand grabbed the foil packet and held it up to the light, she knew.
And if Kane went to this much effort to avoid having sex again, to run from the very intimacy that would enable her to breach his defenses, he had no intention of succumbing. Ever.
She hadn’t gotten to him. Not even close. She brushed at her eyes before a tear could fall. When had Kayla Luck ever affected a man on any level other than the physical? She should have known better but as always, she had to learn the hard way.
But she had no time for self-pity. She had more important concerns than her love life. Kayla grabbed the five books with possible information and shoved them into an oversize bag. Kane might have directed the course of things so far. But no more. He obviously needed to be shaken up on many different levels.
The mysteries of Charmed! had yet to be unraveled. She could do that without Detective McDermott. The sooner she did, the sooner she could get back to the life she knew best. Her life without Kane.
She picked up her cell, called Catherine, and asked her to meet her at her favorite hideaway. As she disconnected the call, the shower shut off. The silence echoed in her ears. In minutes Kane would emerge, his hair damp from the shower, droplets of water on his skin. She ignored the traitorous thudding of her heart, refused to acknowledge the blood pulsing through her veins. Instead, she bolted for the front door without looking back.
* * *
Kane walked out of the bathroom, drying his hair as he went. The silence struck him immediately. His nerve endings, honed by years of experience, went on alert. “Kayla?”
No answer. He didn’t yell for her again. His gaze traveled her bedroom. The pile of clothes he’d worn earlier was missing, and he realized he heard the hum of the washing machine in the background. But she was gone.
He recalled what happened the last time she’d gone off on her own, and his gut churned. She should have known better than to run off. He should have known better than to trust her now that she was back on her feet. Hell, he should have known better than to trust himself. Kayla distracted him in every way possible.
He stalked through the house, taking in every detail. Nothing was missing except…the books. He now knew exactly where she’d gone, evidence in hand, making herself a walking target.
Kane muttered a savage curse. When he got his hands on her, he’d throttle her. Never mind that what he really wanted to do was throw her onto the bed and finish what he hadn’t allowed himself to do before. “Fuck.”
He dropped his towel and found a new set of clothes he’d had dropped off, then shoved his feet into his shoes and grabbed for his keys. He had to wrap this case up and get the hell out.
He slid into the car, checked his gun, and pulled his cuffs out of the glove compartment. The woman drove him to distraction. At this point, he’d cuff her to the damn bed if that was what it took to keep her safe.
* * *
The musty smell of old books permeated her nostrils, making Kayla feel safe. She rounded the end of a long aisle and saw Catherine pacing the floor at their meeting place.
She touched her sister on the shoulder. “Hi, Cat.”
Catherine turned. “Thank God you’re okay. That emergency call scared me to death. Where’s your guard dog?” She glanced over Kayla’s shoulder in search of Kane.
Kayla shrugged. “I don’t know and I don’t care.” Liar. She cared too much, which was what had gotten her into this mess.
“He let you out alone? After he promised he’d protect you? I should have known the man was low life piece of –.”
“I snuck out,” Kayla said before her sister could get going. “And, if I recall, you liked him well enough the first time you met.”
“That was before he took advantage of my innocent sister.”
“Don’t you think you’re laying it on a little thick, even for you?”
Catherine stepped forward and touched her cheek. “You look like you’ve had your heart trampled and broken. So no, I don’t think I’m overreacting.”
Kayla eased herself into one of the fabric-covered chairs. There weren’t many places in the public library that were comfortable and secluded, but three floors down from the main level, nestled between History and Research, Kayla had carved out her personal space.
“Did you know that men are very literal creatures?” Kayla asked.
“How so?”
“They say what they mean and they mean what they say. If a guy says he doesn’t want to get involved, he doesn’t want to get involved. No hidden agendas exist. There aren’t any fairy-tale endings, and there’s no such thing as the right woman changing a stubborn man’s mind.”
“I’d like to strangle the bastard.”
“Why? He never lied to me. Now sit. We have to talk.” Kayla pointed to the chair across from her. Catherine meant well, but discussing her feelings for Kane was too personal. Kayla wouldn’t divulge details, not even to her concerned sister.
She’d cope and deal with it on her own. “What do you know about Charmed!’s less discussed activities?” Kayla asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Look at this.” She dug into her bag and pulled out one of the crossword books she’d taken from the house. “Lists of names, dates…” She fanned the pages for her sister to see.
“Shut the book, Kayla.” The deep voice took her by surprise. A familiar feeling of warmth curled inside her stomach.
“The iceman cometh,” Catherine muttered.
“Shut up.” Kayla and Kane spoke at once.
Instead of being insulted, Catherine merely continued undeterred. “What shouldn’t she tell me?”
“Anything.” Kane’s dark gaze bored into Kayla’s. If he was aware of Catherine as anything other than another body in the library, no one would know. He had eyes onl
y for her and, if the steely glint in them was any indication, he was furious. She could match and best him on that score.
“Keeping secrets, Detective?” Catherine asked.
“None that concern you.” He spoke to Catherine, but his gaze didn’t swerve from hers. The intensity Kayla saw there unnerved her.
Catherine’s stare bounced from Kane to Kayla and back again. Apparently, she sensed the undercurrents running between them because she stood and reached for her purse. “I think that’s my cue.”
Kayla rose. “You don’t need to go.” She could handle Kane without Catherine’s help, but she refused to let him drive her sister off.
“I think I do. As for Charmed!, I know less than you. Aunt Charlene thought I was the wild child and rarely confided in me.”
Despite the seriousness of the situation, Kayla laughed. Catherine never begrudged Kayla her relationship with their aunt. She’d had little in common with the older woman, but Kayla knew in her heart, Aunt Charlene had loved them both. When push came to shove, though, the Luck sisters had relied on each other.
Catherine turned to Kane. “I don’t know what the hell’s going on between you two, but if you hurt my sister, I’ll make you wish you’d never heard the name Luck.”
“I believe it,” Kane muttered.
“You’re letting him run you off?!” Kayla asked, surprised.
Catherine leaned close, her voice low. “I looked into his eyes. The man’s fallen hard. He just doesn’t know it yet. He’ll take care of you.”
“I don’t need him…”
“Yes, you do. You’re not wearing tighter clothes for my benefit; you’re doing it for his. Because you finally trust someone enough to let the real you out.” Catherine gave her a quick hug. “You know where to reach me.”
Kayla squeezed her back. She loved Catherine’s concern as much as she loved her sister—even if she was seeing things between herself and Kane that didn’t exist. Kayla had imagined a depth of caring and a need for love in a man who had none. Catherine had obviously been fooled, too. But her sister meant well. They were family and, in Kayla’s eyes, that meant everything.
Not that a loner like Kane would understand or even care.
She glanced over. He stood off to the side, his rigid body language ensuring no one could mistake him for anything but the solitary human he was.
Despite everything, a huge part of her still wanted to teach him the meaning of belonging. She stifled a harsh laugh, knowing how little he actually desired from her.
She waited until her sister disappeared around the stacks. “How did you find me?”
“Instinct. You were either here or with your sister. Both happened to be true.”
Kayla latched on to his mention of Catherine. “Cat deserves to know what’s going on, Kane. Keeping her in the dark isn’t your decision to make.”
“No,” he agreed. “It’s yours. The more she knows, the more danger she’ll be in. I have enough trouble keeping tabs on you. I don’t need to add her to my list.”
He took two steps closer. Her personal corner of the library was small. Kane’s presence made it seem even smaller. She inhaled for courage and smelled his masculine scent. Her body reacted, recalling more intimate times between them.
Her brain reminded her she’d been intimate. He’d been far away. “You can take me off that short list of yours, Detective. I don’t want any more from you than you want from me.”
“In that case, sweetheart, we’re in big trouble.”
Her eyes widened. Her lips parted and her breath caught in a noticeable hitch.
Kane cursed himself because he wanted her more than ever before. He prayed for restraint. “Give me the books,” he said, grasping for a distraction.
She shook her head. “I want to work on turning them into a complete list.”
“So you brought them here.”
“I can concentrate better here.”
Away from you. He didn’t have to hear the words to know she meant them. Which was no excuse for reckless behavior. His relief at finding her unharmed warred with his fury at her lack of concern. “You made yourself a walking target.”
“This is a public library.”
Kane glanced around the secluded area. He’d walked down three flights of an empty stairwell and wandered around numerous cubicles and stacks before finding the right one. “Looks pretty damn private to me. And you came here alone; our only evidence could easily have been grabbed.”
She cringed.
“Not that I don’t think you can decipher these, but I want them in a safe place. I’ve got a friend at the precinct who’s more a bookworm than a cop. He’ll cull the information in no time.”
“Fine. They’re yours.” She shoved the books at him, hitting him hard in the stomach.
He stifled a grunt.
She grabbed for an oversize bag on the floor. “I’m out of here.”
She took two steps. Kane grasped her by the wrist, pulling her against him. He couldn’t let her dictate their next course of action. She had no business on the streets alone, but that wasn’t the only reason he wouldn’t let her go.
Her silken hair smelled of lemons, her skin fragrant and fresh. He didn’t just want to keep her alive. He needed to keep her that way.
Because that was how she made him feel.
“Let me go, Kane.”
“I can’t.”
“You already got what you wanted from me.”
“You don’t believe that.”
“I’ve found a foil packet that says otherwise.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” He tensed, unsure of what she meant.
“Don’t like being caught? Then you shouldn’t have left your clothes in a pili where I’d find them, and I wouldn’t have been so quick to help out with the laundry.”
“Son of a bitch.” His breath rushed out in a hiss. “You’re telling me you left the safety of the house, you risked your life because…”
“Because I want to control my life.” She squared her shoulders. “Besides, I don’t want your pity, and that’s what you gave me earlier. I came on to you and you didn’t want me, but you were too much of a gentleman to admit it and make things more difficult, so you…”
“Back up. You think I don’t want you?” The notion was absurd beyond belief. He’d never wanted a woman as badly as he desired Kayla, never let a female get inside and mess with his head before, and that was telling. She was getting to him, a little at a time, taking control and leaving him with none.
He couldn’t let it go on much longer, nor could he allow her to think she meant nothing to him.
He turned her around. She had no choice but to face him. Tilting her head with his hand, he forced her to look him in the eye. Shimmering moisture glistened in hers. Damn. His methods of protection backfired in more ways than one. Instead of shielding her, he’d hurt her once again.
His gut twisted with regret and an unfamiliar sense of longing, of caring. He hadn’t distanced himself from Kayla as planned, just the opposite, in fact. He was in way over his head.
Reaching into her pocket, she held a black foil packet aloft, twirling it between her thumb and forefinger. “I think the evidence speaks for itself.”
“Circumstantial, sweetheart.” He grabbed her free hand, forcing her palm over the strong erection pulsing against the front of his jeans. “Hard evidence says otherwise.”
She sucked in a surprised gasp, and Kane watched the play of emotions cross her face. Shock, pleasure, and then ultimately, disbelief. He didn’t blame her for fighting the truth. He hadn’t given her much of a reason to believe in him. But his body didn’t lie and, right now, his cock strained against her hand.
She tilted her head to one side. Though she met his gaze with a steady one of her own, her eyes showed a range of feeling he wasn’t ready to deal with. Wasn’t that why he’d left the condom in his pocket to begin with?
“Chemistry, Kane. I read somewhere that men think with
their…” Her hand curled around his erection.
He gritted his teeth against the combination of pleasure and agony she caused. “Believe me, sweetheart, I’m not doing much thinking right now.”
A heated blush rose to her cheeks. Apparently, his innocent Kayla wasn’t as comfortable with this situation as she wanted him to believe.
“You want me.”
“You can feel that I do.” His voice sounded rough even to his own ears.
“It’s not enough.” She jerked her hand back to safety, but the evidence of her touch remained.
“I know.” And that was the notion that grounded him. She wanted more than sex. He had nothing more to give.
“And this push – pull of yours is getting old.” She glared.
He plucked the condom out of her other hand. He’d believed that by not actually sleeping with her, he wouldn’t be involved. That by giving her pleasure, he could remain detached. But feeling her wet and warm with his hands, knowing she’d wanted him, had pulled him in. And when he’d gotten out of the shower and thought something had happened to her…
He shook his head. No matter what he felt, Kane knew his limitations. “It’s all I can do.” He turned the foil packet around in his hands. The crinkling sound echoed in the otherwise silent library.
“I know.” She turned a too-bright smile his way. “Well, Detective, at least we both know where we stand.”
Stalemate, Kane thought. In a war that was far from over.
Chapter Eight
The police station was quiet. Kayla followed Kane inside and waited in the hall while he met with Captain Reid. She didn’t need to be in the room while the two men talked strategy. Time alone would give her an opportunity to think and come up with a plan of her own. Between the phone call earlier and the lists hidden in the books, the police had an official case, if not specific suspects to go after. Kayla wanted specifics. With or without Kane McDermott, she wanted her life back.
With her headache beginning to ebb, came the ability to think more clearly. Whoever was behind the attack wanted the books and whatever money they thought she had in her possession. Kayla had read enough fiction and nonfiction to know the bad guys were always willing to swap when they were desperate. She held the books; they held important information. By far, hers was more valuable, which gave her the upper hand.
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