by Ryan Rimmel
“You know their names,” I stated.
Shart rolled his eyes. “I might know them, but I don’t care. I literally give absolutely no shits about them. Not even a little pebble from a constipated dolphin,” he said. “The only reason I remember yours is because your name is ridiculous, Dum Dum.”
Shart stared at me non-pulsed. It was my turn to roll my eyes.
“They want me to pick which four of them will come with me,” I said, thinking out loud. “I’m going to upset some people, no matter what I do.”
“You mortals get upset about all the little things,” said Shart.
“Going into a dungeon seems pretty important,” I replied.
“Hmm,” harrumphed Shart, “Before I start to tell you how stupid you are, and believe me, that will take a while, have you checked out your Party Leader talent?”
I groaned and tried to bring up the Party Leader menu. Nothing happened. I tried again, and Shart snorted. I focused all my Will on making the menu appear, scrunching up my forehead in concentration. Finally, Shart laughed.
“Maybe you should go outside, Dum Dum,” Shart flat out giggled.
I walked back to the door and looked up, noticing that the Party Leader menu filled up most of the sky. I couldn’t see all of it because the platform was in the way.
As I was about to leap up to the platform, Shart laughed so hard he fell off his stool. “Just Will yourself there, you gigantic idiot.”
I closed my eyes and exhaled. When I opened them again, I was on the platform. Shart was sitting on the ‘P’ in the Party Leader menu.
“See, maximum party size: 4,” I said looking at the sheet. I had accumulated a fair bit of party experience by leading strike groups against the trolls. I actually gave out a passive +10% Damage to all my party members at my current level.
“So you have a value on your sheet?” asked Shart.
Oh feck.
The five man party was ingrained into me from World of Warcraft. I used the search feature and found an Increased Party Size perk that I could take repeatedly. It wasn’t even that expensive, so I purchased it three times. Now, my maximum party size was listed as seven.
“That was easy,” I said. Shart just shrugged.
I searched the Party Leader perks. They were not as limited as War Leader perks, and there were actually a few that, under certain conditions, granted bonus Hit Points.
“What about one that grants bonus Hit Points while in dungeons?” I asked. “Would this help someone get into a dungeon?”
“No, situational bonus Hit Points don’t count,” stated Shart. “They have to be permanent Hit Points. As you have no idea what that means, I’ll explain. If they have a way to be situationally removed, such as a duration or location, they are semi-permanent.”
So, no party buffs or magical potions. My best magical ring was still twenty points shy of what Jarra needed. Well there goes that idea.
“What does count?” I asked.
“Gear mainly,” responded Shart. “Magical armor and rings.”
“But those can be removed,” I said, and Shart laughed. He’s a veritable Mr. Chuckles today.
“See if Sir Dalton can remove your bracers against your will,” said Shart. “When you attune something to your Mana network, it becomes impossible for someone else to remove without also removing the body part. It’s a feature that only really matters to casters, but everyone can do it. ”
I looked down and realized that my magical bracers were still on my person, despite being in my mindscape. Studying myself, I realized that all of my magical gear was still on me, but my actual ‘Avatar’ in this place wasn’t normal.
My leather armor that I always wore was my skin. There was only a space underneath it if I willed it there. Concentrating for a moment, I caused my appearance to change from Ordinal Jim to Earth Jim. I was a bit fuzzy on the details, and I didn’t do the glasses. Aside from that, I was a slightly overweight, middle-aged, balding IT professional from Ohio, complete with the Buckeyes sweater.
“That’s what you looked like?” guffawed Shart. “You should be happy you died. What the hell are you wearing?”
“A sweater from THE Ohio State University,” I answered.
“I didn’t know it was a THE,” stated Shart abruptly, before uncharacteristically softening. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insult your university.”
There were a great number of party perks I could afford. These did everything from making resting in dungeons easier to providing bonus Damage against specific types of monsters. I purchased one of the extra Hit Point Perks, because it wasn’t too expensive. Then, I spotted a perk that reduced the penalties for a large party that could be purchased up to ten times. I bought it three times, paying a raising cost with each purchase. Then, I stopped. I’d save the other points until I got the lay of the land.
I dropped out of menu time just as the shouting was beginning.
“Enough!” I stated. “I've made my decision. I’m going to send an invite to everyone I want to bring in with me. I will also send one to Bashara.”
She glared at me, but she was still getting an invite. That was sufficient for her.
Sir Dalton grinned. He looked first to Fenris, who was also smiling, and then to Glorious Robert, who was likewise happy. Then he spun around to examine SueLeeta, who looked placid. His eyes widened, and he hastened to accept the invite.
As did everyone else. I quickly had a party to lead with five members.
“Wait, you have five slots?” asked Glorious Robert. “You have to be at least level 20 to unlock a 5th slot.”
“Jim is a higher level than he lets on,” stated SueLeeta.
“Fucking townie thinks he’s a clown,” growled Glorious Robert under his breath, glaring at me as much as he dared.
“There’s supposed to be a 10% experience loss for being a five man party,” stated Fenris adopting the distant eyed look of a man checking his menus. “I’m not seeing it.”
A five man party was six people, because it referred to how many people the party leader brought with him. Ordinal was still weird.
“What would the loss be for a six man party?” asked Zorlando quietly.
“I think a 25% experience point loss,” stated Fenris. “You have to be level 35 to get the sixth slot, though”
“You are correct on both counts,” replied Sir Dalton. “I have personally quested with a 37th level Knight. It was a glorious time to be with someone so powerful.”
“Did you know that if a normal person touches a Dungeon Core, they become an adventurer?” asked Zorlando reverently.
“That may be an old wives’ tale,” stated Fenris, eyeing the Mercenary Captain.
“You’d have to be in the actual party, not a tag along,” chuckled Bashara. “Who is going to give you an invite?”
“Mayhaps, but if you ever got the chance. . .” he said longingly, accepting my invite.
Everyone got that notification at once. All heads turned to me.
“You are level 35?” asked Sir Dalton, wide-eyed.
“I have the capacity to have a six man party,” I replied.
● Party Size: 6, 10% (25% experience penalty - 3 X 5% Large Party penalty reduction)
“Magical item or trait?” asked Bashara, standing up and looking me up and down. “He might have an item that increases his party limit without the cost. I’m guessing trait, though. If such an item existed, he could have sold it and retired by now.”
“You hear about legendary traits, but, by the gods, you never see them in person,” stated Glorious Robert.
“Someone figured out how to get his Badger’s Night gifts early,” chuckled SueLeeta, winking at me.
Sir Dalton looked ready to comment but stopped himself and shrugged. “So, not that high of a level after all. I know I’m great, but defeating someone level 35 in a duel would have been impressive, even for me.”
“Should we bring in a non-adventurer, though?” wondered Fenris after a momen
t, steeling himself as a man about to deliver bad news. “They are less capable than an adventurer.”
“I don’t see why we are bringing in a commoner. We are losing experience, and he can’t even earn experience,” stated Bashara, gesturing to Zorlando. “Dungeons are for the Chosen, not the rabble.”
“Maybe because every time Windfall has needed me, I have stood there to defend her,” stated Zorlando heatedly. “Maybe because we lowly commoners can do great things, too, if we are allowed.”
Fenris looked down ashamed. Bashara rolled her eyes before turning to Sir Dalton. “We all know the mayor is all lovey dovey toward the commoners. He’s not objective. Seriously, Sir Dalton, do we need to bring in a commoner? He’s yours. Tell him to be your cohort.”
Sir Dalton sat quietly for a moment, as Zorlando stared imploringly at him. “Normal logic is to not bring Professional individuals into dungeons, as dungeons are far too dangerous. However, Zorlando has had my back several times now. He has shown himself very capable in battle. If this is what he wants, I cannot refuse him with honor.”
Bashara threw up her hands and sighed. “You people are crazy! We are throwing away experience for nothing!”
“Honor is not nothing,” stated Sir Dalton, as he decided what he was called to do. “We need to behave honorably. We are Chos. . .adventurers.” He turned to me and nodded.
“The next thing you’ll be doing is letting Jarra the Healer in the group, assuming Jim has another opening,” growled Bashara.
“Maybe he should, even without another opening. We could ditch an annoying Wizard,” said SueLeeta.
“Enough!” I said again. “I have it on good authority that there are magical traps that only a Wizard can disarm. We only have one option for a Wizard. It’s unfortunate, to be sure, but Bashara is it.”
“Shame you can’t just figure out some Wizard skills,” grumbled SueLeeta.
“That would be awesome, but I can’t,” I replied stiffly. Fenris looked at me for a moment, before returning his gaze to Zorlando and Sir Dalton. Glancing over at those two, I realized that Sir Dalton was honestly considering Zorlando for the first time. His tough little Knight mind was cracking a bit. Dalton was a protective bear to anyone inside his circle, and that circle mostly included his daughters. Now, it looked like Zorlando at least had a toe in.
Will wonders never cease.
With the party decided, planning went much simpler. The Phoenix Moon would rise tomorrow after noon, in the middle of the pre-Grebthar Day celebrations. We would head directly to the castle, ensuring we would be there when it first opened. We would do all of this after a restful Badger’s Night. That gave Fenris and Dalton enough time to make sure their kids had a good Badger’s Night, and the rest of us got to sleep in. Not having to get up with the sun would certainly be helpful, as pretty much everyone was getting ready to go to the massive party that we could hear gearing up in the town square.
Shart and Badgelor were fighting, so I stepped out of the house and into the late afternoon air. Glancing down the street, it only took me a moment to find who I was looking for. I walked two houses down and into the alley. With my ring on, I could feel only the slightest twinge from Shart.
“I’m sorry,” I said. Jarra the Healer’s head snapped up to look at me. She was sitting on an overturned carton, quietly crying just out of sight from the street.
She looked at me bleakly for a moment before wiping her face with her sleeve. “It's alright, you Chosen don’t have to apologize to us lowly commoners.”
“You have never been a lowly anything,” I retorted sharply. “And I’m an adventurer, not some blasted Chosen.”
“You say that, but I don’t know if I believe you now,” she said. “I don’t know what to believe anymore.” She looked up to me with her tear-stained face. I didn’t know what to say, so I just sat down next to her.
We sat there for a long, uncomfortable time, her occasionally sobbing, and me being useless. Finally, she said, “This is never going to work, is it?”
I started to speak, but she cut me off. “I knew it couldn’t happen. You are Jim, the adventurer, mayor, and savior of Windfall. I’m a lowly healer. You were just so nice when you didn’t need to be. Then, I thought you were only being a gentleman when opportunities presented themselves.”
“Opportunities?” I asked numbly.
“I came to comfort you when you returned from the. . .Puma Forest,” she chuckled. “You know what kind of comfort that is, don't you?”
I had known. I had been reborn on Ordinal for two weeks, and I had a beautiful blond throwing herself at me.
“You hear about Chosen who don’t consort with the lesser folk,” she sniffed. “That’s what it's like up in the far north, in the Kingdom of HarCharles. Fenris is from up there. He had to book it south when he met and fell in love with AvaSophia. She mostly straightened him out, but it's still there, if you look hard enough.”
I hadn’t known that about Fenris.
“Grebthar never stood for that. He believed everyone was equal. Everyone had value. Life isn’t like the stories, though. Every adventurer I’ve ever met looked down their nose at me the second they met me, except for you,” said Jarra sadly. “You looked at me like I was a person.”
“What about SueLeeta?” I asked, horrified.
“She was like the others, at first, but she kept coming back. She had to. I was the one selling the potions. At some point, she realized that we were friends. Now, she acts like a big sister and tries to protect me,” said Jarra determinedly. “I am not her little sister, though. I am an adult, and I’ll make my own choices, even if they are foolish.”
“You are worth protecting,” I said softly.
“There it is, Jim. When you saved everyone at the fortress, you brought me hope,” she smiled sadly. “But hope always fails.”
I looked deeply into her eyes, her face. All of the images in my mind were of only her now. She was her own person, and I was an idiot.
I kissed her. She was startled, but just for a moment. Then, she hesitantly returned the kiss. As the seconds ticked by, the kiss became more and more passionate. Jarra was crying and kissing me all at the same moment. It was messy, and wet, and absolutely perfect. For one moment, everything seemed perfect.
Then, someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned my head slightly, separating from Jarra with a slight pop. A small child stood there, watching us intently.
“I found her,” Grace, dressed as a princess, shrieked. Three more costumed children wandered into the alley. Somehow, in the intervening instant, Jarra had managed to stand up, straighten her dress, and put on a more neutral expression.
“So, you four will be staying at my home tonight?” Jarra asked, almost calmly.
“Yes, so Badgelor can come visit,” one of them cried out.
”Without any property damage!” added another.
“I thought I was to find you in the inn, with MaGetty,” said Jarra, using that steel-edged pleasantness that only a woman could muster.
“She told us that you were late and probably sulking around the mayor’s house,” explained one of the other kids.
“And you managed to find me in an alley two houses down, talking with the mayor?” Jarra asked.
“Not on our own,” said one of the girls. “We had help.”
Jarra raised an eyebrow, and the little girl giggled and pointed toward Badgelor. He was peering around the corner, his little tail flicking left and right. He was also glaring at me. Shart was on Badgelor’s back, pointing and laughing silently. He looked like a balloon that was inflating, rapidly approaching the point that he would pop.
You traitors.
“Yes, he needs the mayor to get ready for tonight,” grinned Grace. Jarra rotated her head to look at me straight on.
“I’ll have a talk with him,” I growled. “Badgelor, why don’t you take the children to our front porch. Jarra the Healer and I will be there momentarily.”
“Be quick about it
,” he said, marching the kids off.
“I’m sorry about that,” I said, turning to Jarra. Whatever moment we’d had was over, at least for the time being.
“We can talk about it tomorrow,” she said with a shy smile. “After all, I’ll need to deliver the potions I’m making for you before you leave. We can figure this out when you get back from the dungeon. I mean, if you want to, that is.”
I nodded. I still felt conflicted, but less so. I had only been here a little over a month and now this. We walked back to my front porch, and Jarra took control over the kids. They departed, the children anxious to go out for the evening and secure their badger bait.
That left me alone with my little cockblock duo. Badgelor trundled up to me and sat down. “We need to talk.”
“I was having a moment,” I said. “I was coming to grips with the fact that my old life is dead. I need to adjust to a new life here on Ordinal.”
“Excuse me,” growled Badgelor, “but I have a problem that is far more critical than that.”
“What problem would that possibly be? I responded icily.
“Badger’s Night is tonight. I need your help,” stated Badgelor. He looked like he was fidgeting. “I’m not sure I can do all the houses myself.”
“Do all the houses?” I asked. “Wait, you mean you are actually dropping all the presents off at everyone’s houses. I thought you’d leave them at the Golden Badger or something.”
“No! If I’m in town, I like to hand deliver all the presents to the little children,” stated Badgelor. “It's a point of personal pride.”
“We should have done that at the parade,” I said, grabbing another piece of fudge. Badgelor promptly snatched it out of my hand.
“No, you git, we have to deliver them into their houses, just like the poem says,” said Badgelor.
“You want me to help you deliver the toys to those people’s houses, like Badgelor did on the original Badger’s Night?” I asked, chuckling.
“Yes, thank you for understanding. I’ve already taken the liberty of splitting up the town into two halves,” stated Badgelor.