by Lindsey Hart
“You might be right.” Trace crossed his arms over his chest and his muscles rippled in the tight black leather looking material. His biceps bulged and strained, and the material creaked in protest.
God. Does he have to look so good?
“I know I’m right. I’d bet that set you back five hundred dollars. Which is probably nothing to you. Like finding a lucky penny to anyone else.”
Trace’s smile fell and she hated herself for the barb. “See, this is exactly why I didn’t tell you.”
“No? You couldn’t trust me? You thought I’d what? Try and use you for it? Puh-lease. You seriously don’t know me at all. I might not make a killer living doing what I do, but if you haven’t noticed, my books do sell. They sell well. I’m on my way to making something of myself. I have a job. I’ve looked after myself so far. I don’t need you to do it for me. What I needed was a date, a smoking hot date who made me feel good and had my back. A date so I didn’t appear pathetic in front of all the people who tormented me my entire life. That’s what I needed, Trace, and you failed pretty epically at that. That’s what I cared about. Not your money.”
“I might have failed,” Trace said thickly, “but you didn’t. I’m going to bet you saw that video, but even if you didn’t, you should have realized that you were a fucking rock star. Not only did you deck me- hard I’ll add- you stood up to all those asshats. You took a stand for yourself. You didn’t need me at all. You were far, far better off on your own. The only thanks I can give myself is that I was the catalyst for your awakening and the realization that you can indeed kick ass just fine. You’ve become this huge inspiration to people who are bullied all over the place. In high school, in the work place, everywhere.”
Ash ducked her head. “I doubt that’s true. People don’t look up to me for anything. If I could erase that video, I would.”
“It’s not just one. There are more out there.”
“I’d erase them all if I could.”
Trace’s eyes burned into her. “Ash, you’re amazing. Truly. I knew it from the second you sent me that crazy note online in the middle of the night. You were so well spoken. So- so well written. I wanted to meet the girl behind it. Then I did meet you and ever since the second I walked into the coffee shop and saw you, with two drinks because you’d ordered for me, which was so ridiculously sexy, by the way, I knew it was it for me. I thought I needed to show you how to find yourself. I thought it was my job to show you how sexy you were. No, not my job. My privilege, but all along, you just needed to believe it yourself.”
Ash’s hand gripped the door frame. Her body heated painfully at the reminder at what they’d done. At just how Trace had tried to show her and teach her how to be confident. He’d made her feel beautiful, for the first time in her life. She’d come alive under his hands and it had nothing to do with finding confidence or that stupid reunion. It had everything to do with how much she wanted him, how she craved him, how she felt that connection he was talking about, right from the start.
“I don’t know how or why you stumbled across my profile that night or why you picked me, but I’m so damn happy that you did. I thought I was putting it all together, that maybe we could be something after. I fucked up. Big time.”
The door to the left of her apartment opened and Mrs. McGreggor stepped into the hall. She was eighty and was constantly complaining that everyone in the building was too loud. Her eyes nearly popped out of her wrinkly, adorable, angry little face. “If you’re going to carry on about nonsense, take it inside so the rest of us don’t have to hear your sorry ass apologizing.” Her eyes narrowed. “I’ve seen the video. I know all about what happened. I’m going to bet you’re the sucker she decked. Lordy, you deserved that one. Why on god’s green earth are you standing out there dressed like a pussy in a cape and spandex? Did I miss the memo about them moving Halloween up this year?”
Trace chuckled. His shoulders shook and rolled as his soft rasp turned into an all-out belly laugh. Eventually Ash had to laugh. Mrs. McGreggor shook her head and slammed her door so loud that the whole building probably heard her. It was amazing, how she’d complain about John’s music from down the hall being too loud or how she’d embarrassed Sam and her husband, Ted, for being too loud with their morning marital bliss, but she was somehow totally immune to the way her own TV blared twenty-four hours of the day. How she could even hear some of the things she did was beyond Ash.
Trace cocked a brow. “Now that I’ve made a total fool of myself, twice, will you let me in?”
Ash hedged. “I don’t know. Maybe I should send you packing, Mr. Nightshadow. Although, that’s not your name anymore if you show up dressed like that.” Her gaze flicked over him and she realized she’d probably done it too appreciatively when his eyes darkened dangerously.
“I’ll let you call me whatever you want me, just as long as you agree to hear me out. Five minutes. That’s all I’m asking for.”
Mrs. McGreggor’s door opened again and this time she stepped into the hallway, her pink bathrobe on display, swallowing her diminutive form whole. She crossed her arms and the robe billowed around her as she did. “Let him in, Ash. Hear him out and when you’re done, send his sorry ass over here for a cup of tea and a chat about how to treat a lady.” The old woman licked her lips and cackled like a crone. “Maybe he can do a little dance for me in that costume of his. I’d like to see that tight ass bust a move. It would give me my entertainment for the year.”
Ash didn’t miss the note of loneliness in the old woman’s voice. She’d never been invited into her neighbor’s for tea before and she’d never really realized that beneath the crotchety exterior and all the complaints, Mrs. McGreggor was actually lonely.
“Okay. I’ll do that.” Ash opened the door wider and motioned with her hand for Trace to come in. It was a dangerous move, letting him back into her apartment. It felt like she was opening the door to more than just that. That she was letting him back into her life. She wasn’t ready for that. She wasn’t ready for any of it. She didn’t want her little happy, easy bubble to burst. She liked her life the way it was.
Only…
She opened that damn door not because Mrs. McGreggor demanded it, but because she couldn’t imagine her life without Trace in it anymore, at least in some capacity.
What that capacity was, remained to be seen. She wouldn’t let him off easy but judging by the fact that he’d pulled out all the stops and shown up dressed like the sexiest, steamiest, most wonderful villain in the history of villains, her going easy wasn’t exactly what he’d anticipated.
CHAPTER 19
Trace
He’d never seen a more beautiful sight than the inside of Ash’s apartment. Unless Ash herself counted, but that was a given. He even liked the way her grouchy old cat wound its way around his ankles, purring and rubbing and purring some more, dusting his boot in a liberal coating of hair.
He bent and scratched his fingers over the soft, furry head.
“You’re the only one he actually likes. I swear you have catnip up your ass.”
Trace nearly choked. He looked up and met Ash’s gaze, which was thankfully no longer as angry or guarded as it had been when she opened the door to find him there, the last person on earth she expected or wanted to see. “I’ve been accused of having a few things up my ass before, but catnip wasn’t one of them.”
He straightened and Ash frowned. “So, what do you have up your ass then? Any tricks to try and make me forgive you? Where the hell did you get the idea to dress up like that anyway?”
“Do you like it?” He smothered a grin.
“No.” She shook her head, but the fire in her eyes gave her away. He could tell she was trying not to smile.
“Liar.”
“I’m not.”
“It doesn’t matter.” He shook his head. “I’ll prove to you soon enough that you are.” Ash’s lips thinned out, like she wanted to ask him what the hell that meant, but he charged ahead before she could
get a word in. “My sister, actually. She and my mom came over to tell me to get my head out of my ass-”
“So that was what you had up there.”
He nearly choked for a second time. Jeez, Ash’s wits were razor sharp, as always. He felt a little like her brother, trapped under her glare and sparring for his life. She was absolutely cut throat on the other side of a battle. He also loved that about her. Respected her for it. God, it was sexy as hell. She was sexy, dressed in jeans and a plaid button-down shirt, her hair done up in a messy bun, faint creases at the corners of her eyes and mouth, hinting that she was probably tired after a long week made longer by what happened on the weekend preceding it.
“Yes- uh…” he reached up to run a hand through his hair, something he realized he did when he was nervous, and nearly knocked his helmet off. Shit. He dropped his hand back to his side. “She gave me a little pep talk while my mom cleaned up the place.” He winced when Ash rolled her eyes. “I know, I know. I’m a grown man and I still can’t get anything right or take care of myself.”
“You said it, not me.” She leaned up against the kitchen door frame.
He peered into the kitchen behind her and saw her dinner waiting for her on the table, beyond cold. Shit. She’s probably hangry on top of everything else. “Anyway, my sister told me I needed to apologize and win you back. She said it was obvious that you weren’t like anyone else.”
“Oh yeah? How did she know? As far as I know, I’ve never met her.”
“Because she could see that I wasn’t like how I was with anyone else. She said I was the happiest she’d ever seen me. Ever. She said it was like someone had turned this light on in my eyes. She was excited. She got it out of me when I went to look after my niece that night, that I was seeing someone.”
“Even though it was supposed to be fake.”
“You said that you needed a date for your reunion. I never said it was fake. Nothing I did was fake. Did it feel that way to you?”
“No, I guess not,” Ash admitted. She leaned her hip harder against the door frame and crossed her arms.
“I always wanted something more. I even said that. I wanted to see you far longer than this weekend. It was never going to be over for me-”
“Until you lied to me.”
His chest squeezed and he resisted the urge to reach up and rub the spot that burned. “Yeah. I did. I get it. I didn’t tell you and that was as bad as lying straight up.”
“I don’t get why you didn’t. It’s not like it would have changed anything.”
Trace closed his eyes. “I- I’m sorry. I haven’t had the best history with people knowing that I had money and wanting to be with me for any other reason.”
“So, you thought I was just like every other gold digger?”
“I don’t really even know you, Ash.” Trace’s eyes flew open. “Seriously. I- I just wanted to play it safe at first, and then- even when I did feel like I was getting to know you, it had really only been a couple of days and I- I just wanted to enjoy what we had. It was nice, being with someone and just- just having them see me.”
“Why wouldn’t anyone see you? You’re- you’re a good man, Trace. You’re nice. You’re funny. You’re selfless, humble, kind. You were sick and you still came to my parents’ place for dinner. You actually enjoyed it, which is even more shocking.”
“Even the losing part.”
“Even losing. You’re a good loser. That alone tells me that you’re a nice person. We have games night at the store regularly and let me tell you, I’ve seen people lose their shit. As in throwing things across the room, clearing the table, screaming and yelling tantrums. You’re a good sport. You were willing to drop everything and help me.”
“I was intrigued at first and then when I saw you- like I said, I just… I was just lost. I felt this connection with you, like being with you was where I was meant to be. Like there was this string binding us up together.”
“It was only a few days. Like you said. Maybe it was nothing.”
He shrugged, though he didn’t feel like there was anything casual about it. “I don’t know. But I want to. I want to take you out. I want to stay in here and order pizza. I want to play board games with you and your family. I want to get to know you, everything about you. I want to see you smile and laugh. I want to- to do this with you until we’re either both sure it will work, or it won’t.”
“And what if it does? What would you do?”
“I don’t know. Keep doing it?” He raised a brow and gave a nervous laugh. “I’ve never- I’ve never felt like this about anyone. I’m at a loss here. I’m an idiot. I should have told you who I was or rather, that I had money, but I just didn’t want it to matter. I should have known someone would recognize me and I should have prepared you for it, if not for any other reason.”
“You’re damn right you should have told me.” Ash fixed him with a hard look. She was fierce and it was absolutely erotic and adorable all at once. “I would never use you for your money. I would never treat anyone that way.” Her hands balled into fists and her jaw clenched so hard it clicked. “I want to find those women and… and…”
“Deck them like you did me?”
Her face colored and that adorable blush he loved so much crept into her cheeks. “I don’t know. I wish. I- I don’t know what I would do. Call them a bitch and probably egg their house or something.”
He laughed. “That’s a sight I would love to see. You armed with a carton of eggs screaming obscenities. Maybe I’ll record it and we’ll have a second viral video.”
“I’d probably go to prison.”
“I’d bail you out.”
They both paused, the silence stretching between them, heavy and weighted. Finally, Ash sighed. “Look. I don’t know what you want. I don’t even know what I want. I’ve never really done this either. I’ve never imagined dating someone. My history has been a total disaster as well.”
“I’d like to find them and make them pay for not treating you right.”
Ash’s lips turned up a little at the corners. “Thanks for the sentiment. Really though it wasn’t their fault. I set myself up by looking in all the wrong places so that I wouldn’t have to put myself out there. I picked the wrong people so that I wouldn’t have to worry about caring.”
“It seems like we were both just trying to protect ourselves.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“You asked me what I want.” He took a chance and reached out and touched her hand. She didn’t pull away, but she did stiffen. “I just want another chance. I want a chance to prove to you every single day that you’re beautiful and amazing and wonderful and if you think you’re nerdy, I love nerdy. I want to get to know you. I want to commit to this. If you thinking decking me in the mouth and walking away is going to make me leave, you’re wrong. I want you more than ever.”
“That’s kind of sadistic, don’t you think?”
“I don’t know.” Trace chuckled softly. “I just- I would do anything to show you how sorry I am. I’m scared. You’re probably scared. We can take it slow. Just go day by day. Be open and honest with each other about what we want and need and try and make this work.”
“And if I decide that I am a gold digger and I want to use you for your money?” Ash’s eyes shone and he could tell she was kidding. “Or what about my rage issues? Aren’t you afraid that I might punch you again? What about my brother? My crazy family? You’ll be subjected to board games more often than you can stomach. My next door neighbor also apparently has a huge crush on you in tight black spandex. And… well, you’re kind of a big deal. When the reporters and shit get a hold of the story about us dating even after that video- I’m sure they won’t leave us alone.”
“I’ll buy us a private island then.”
“I’d miss my family.”
“I’d move them too.”
“Wouldn’t you miss yours?”
“I’d move them as well.”
“And my cat?”
/>
“Especially Slappy.”
Ash studied him hard and Trace stood his ground. She stared at him, those beautiful green eyes blazing straight into his soul. “I have just one other question then,” Ash breathed.
“Okay…” he realized he still hadn’t let go of her hand. Her fingers felt so damn good tucked into his own. He never wanted to let her go.
“I just want to know how hard you think it’s going to be to get you out of that costume. And if you brought a change of clothes.”
Trace almost couldn’t believe he’d heard her right. She stared up at him, her eyes changed, sparkling with mischief and humor.
“Are- are you serious?”
“Yeah. Why would I use you for your money when I can use you for sex and your money?”
Trace gave her a mock scowl. He gripped her and pulled her in up against him. He didn’t miss her gasp or the way her eyes darkened with arousal. Her nipples were hard even through her bra, when they jammed into his chest.
“Your neighbor is going to be very disappointed when I don’t go over there for tea.”
“She’ll get over it,” Ash rasped. She reached up and twined her hands around his neck, pulling his face in close. “You could have shown up here with chocolates or flowers and I would have turned you away. If your sister told you to try and think of the one thing I wouldn’t be able to resist and you picked this, you were right. You were so right.”
“Do you hate me for it?”
“Hate you? I don’t think I could ever hate you. Believe me, I’ve spent this week trying.”
He gripped her ass and squeezed hard through her jeans. Ash melted against him. “I’m going to have to punish you for all that talk about using me for sex and money. That’s wicked. Not very lady like at all.”