What Every American Should Know About Europe

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What Every American Should Know About Europe Page 34

by Melissa Rossi


  SERIOUS PROBLEMS

  Life can get depressing around here, especially during winter’s polar nights, and many of the country’s residents suffer seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Much of the year is bitterly cold, and, in the north, opaquely black, and even if the snow-coated forests are spellbindingly beautiful (when you can see them), there’s little to do except get divorced (Finland shares with Sweden Europe’s highest divorce rate), take another sauna, talk on the mobile, or eat more herring (it’s said Finns eat it in 105 ways). No surprise then that Finland had Europe’s second-highest suicide rate (just behind Hungary), and that heroin use is on the rise.

  Finland has been most defined by Sweden, which kept Finland as her eastern region for centuries, and by bossy Russia, which occupied her off and on since the era of czars. As a result of her two domineering neighbors, Finland hasn’t even been a sovereign country for a century—declaring independence from Russia only in 1917. Swedes—or, rather, Finnish Swedes—still have a hand in the country. Though only 6 percent of the population, they tend to be government leaders and corporate heads—and since they speak Swedish (or, rather, the less melodic Finnish Swedish)—language issues sometimes split the country. A few decades ago, they split capital Helsinki—literally. Finnish speakers strolled on the south side of the main drag, while Swedish speakers ambled on the north.

  Resentment toward Sweden lingers, but Russia was far worse. Russia kept the Finnish masses uneducated and “Russified” during the nineteenth century, and Soviets later kept a silent hold on Finland, preventing her from integrating with the West after World War II. (See “History Review,” page 264.) Even now, Finland, which finally joined the European Union in 1995 (and is the only Nordic country to use the euro), is wary of joining NATO, partly out of fear of how Russia might react. Finland is so weary of being dependent on Russia for oil and gas that she recently commissioned another nuclear reactor—the first built in Europe since Chernobyl blew in 1986. Though some protested, even Green Party parliamentarians approved Finland’s fifth nuclear plant—that’s how much Moscow is distrusted around here.

  Excessive logging and animal rights are hot issues in Finland. So is globalization: when World Bank president James Wolfersohn visited Helsinki in 2001, he was greeted with a cream pie in the face. The culprit, twenty-six-year-old Green Party leader, Markus Drake, defended his action as nonviolent protest. “I would not have thrown a hard pie,” he told the local paper. Apparently, others would. Police now sometimes don riot gear, and protesters sometimes show up sporting ice-hockey helmets.9

  Spectacular Finland is still the last frontier: only 2 percent of her population is foreign-born. In fact, with over a million Finns running out of the country during the twentieth century—many to Canada and Minnesota—net immigration only began in the past ten years. Many immigrants are returning Finns (others are coming in from Somalia and Iraq). Immigration problems aren’t a major to-do in Finland yet, but the government recently converted a prison to a refugee detention center, perhaps expecting a future flood.

  History Review

  At the western edge of the landmass that contains Russia, and just across the Baltic from Sweden, Finland’s location was long her curse. For the better part of six centuries, today’s Finland was Sweden’s eastern half; from 1809 to 1917 she was a Russian duchy, which further instilled a fatalistic outlook and a thirst for vodka.

  “Closeness without conflict only exists in the cemetery.”—Old Finnish saying

  Forced to fight numerous wars they never initiated, Finns developed a strong national identity in the 1800s, demanding that Finnish, not Russian, be their official language. In 1917, Finns snuck off during Russia’s Bolshevik Revolution, founding Finland as an independent country. In what is still a national embarrassment, the fledgling republic immediately broke into civil war. Socialists were reds, the bourgeoisie were whites, and while the latter won, the former was the color of the land where bloody battles between 200,000 fellow Finns unfolded. At the end of 104 days, 40,000 Finns were frozen in snowdrifts and icy forests, dead from the cruel slap of winter and their countrymen’s hands.

  GREAT NAMES FOR BAD THINGS

  Nobody beats Finns for devising original names for wars, and no wonder—they’ve been dragged into plenty of them, most against Mother Russia. During the Long Wrath (1570–1595), Sweden and Finns battled Russia; during the Great Wrath (1713–1721), Finns fought to break out of Russia’s temporary hold; and during the Lesser Wrath (1741–1743), they rose up again against the Russians occupying their turf. During the First Era of Oppression (1899–1905), Finns unsuccessfully tried to overthrow Russian rule, and during the Second Era of Oppression (1909–1917), they succeeded in escaping from the overbearing Bear. Predictably, Russia came back: when World War II began, Soviets invaded, kicking off the Winter War (1939–1940), only to be shocked when the vastly outnumbered Finns—dressed in white and fighting on skis—shoved them back. To ensure the Russians stayed away, Finns handed 10 percent of the land and 20 percent of industry to Russia. That apparently wasn’t enough. Russia returned in 1941, and since Russia was then playing on the Allied team, Finland reluctantly asked Nazis to help them fight in the War of Continuation (1941–1944). That war was aptly named. No sooner had the Finns and Nazis beat back the Russians than the Nazis turned on the Finns. The Finns showed their mettle and pushed out the Germans as well. But their brief partnership with Nazis cost them. Even though Finns were never aligned with the Nazi cause, and were battling solely for self-preservation, the Allies forced Finland to pay hefty war reparations and cede yet more land to Russia.

  The crushing war debt forced mostly agrarian Finland to rapidly industrialize—and the country soon became one of the world’s wealthiest.

  There isn’t an official Third Era of Oppression, but there should be. From the end of the Second World War to the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991, Finland was still bullied by Russia. As a buffer between the West and the Soviet Union, Finland performed a delicate dance. The Soviet Union pushed Finland into signing a Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation, and Mutual Assistance, stating that if the enemy (NATO) invaded, Finland would fight with the Soviets. Even though Finland was theoretically free, she dared not get too involved with the West—and she became economically enmeshed with the Soviet Union. The Finnish government reportedly didn’t make a move without first checking with Moscow, and the self-censored Finnish media rarely criticized Soviets. Even though Finland had been prospering, when the Soviet Union crumbled in 1991, she took Finland’s economy down with her. Finland tumbled into a recession and unemployment shot up to 20 percent. The country, however, pulled herself back together quickly, and is now revved up and ready to go.

  Hot Spots

  Helsinki: The eye-pleasing city showcases architecture: from decorative art deco-like Jurgenstil to the sharp angles of Alvar Aalto, buildings are a mix of old and new, including the concert hall—a ruin topped with a glass roof. Traditions are woven into the urban tapestry: some women still head down to the piers to wash their rugs in the Baltic Sea.

  Rovaniemi: Finns insist that this village on the Arctic Circle is the One True Home of Santa Claus. Of course, there’s a post office near by—and a Santa Claus theme park.

  Åland Islands: Summer finds these 6,000 islands off southwest Finland packed with bikers, golfers, and canoers paddling isle to isle. Ferries carry the less energetic, and the all-night party boards sell duty-free booze. Any time of year, the archipelago of Swedish-speaking residents is politicized; most locals want to return to original owner Sweden.

  Helsinki: Hotbed of saunas, tango, and wife-carrying contests

  Estonia: Finns by the ferryload glide over here to stock up on cheap booze, and Finnish pensioners are moving to Estonia, where the climate must seem relatively balmy.

  Hotshots

  Tarja Halonen: President, 2000–present. Groundbreaking Social Democrat Halonen (who speaks six languages) has a string of firsts on her CV: first woman foreign minist
er, first woman president—and the first candidate to be presented with chocolates by American talk-show host Conan O’Brien. She thanked him for promoting Finland, saying, “I think that at least now many more Americans know where Finland is.” (We doubt it.) Local media harpoon her clothes—nobody calls her a fashionista—but she is a human-rights-affirming, land-mine-opposing, kindly nontraditionalist: she raised her children as a single mother, and didn’t marry her live-in until after she stepped into office.

  Matti Vanhanen: Prime Minister, August 2003–present. Former defense minister Vanhanen was suddenly yanked center stage when PM Jaatteenmaki stomped out of office. No word on whether he will seek an endorsement from Conan.

  LINUS TORVALDS

  The Finnish Swede who calls himself “Benevolent Dictator for Life,” ranked on Time’s 2004 “Most Influential” list, and resembles the penguin that is his personal mascot, Linus Torvalds launched a revolution when he devised the kernel for a new computer operating system—as part of his master’s thesis—and recruited input from computer nerds around the world. The resulting system, Linux, competes with Microsoft Windows—but unlike Windows, you can have it for free. Quite threatening to those money-grabbing capitalists in Seattle—all the more since Torvalds moved to Seattle’s rival city Portland, Oregon.

  Jean Sibelius (1865–1957): Finland’s most-beloved composer, known for his original style and his symphonic poems, was also a wit. When a countess complained of the sinful behavior of youth, bragging, “I’ve been chaste for close to ninety years and who thanks me for it?” Sibelius replied, “Well I don’t, that’s for sure.”10

  Tove Jansson (1914–2001): Author of the famous Moomin books about big-snouted, heavily furred trolls, Jannson also illustrated some editions of The Hobbit.11

  News you can understand: Helsingin Sanomat. The latest scandals in Helsinki, plus good coverage of Estonia and the occasional hilarious humor piece: http://helsinginsanomat.fi

  16. LUXEMBOURG

  Sleeping Beauty

  FAST FACTS

  Country: Grand Duchy of Luxembourg; Grand Duché de Luxembourg

  Capital: Luxembourg

  Government: Constitutional monarchy

  Independence: 1839 (from the Netherlands); full independence 1867

  Population: 475,000 (2006 estimate)

  Head of State: Grand Duke Henri (2000)

  Head of Government: Prime Minister Jean-Claude Juncker (1995)

  Elections: Monarchy is hereditary; prime minister appointed by monarch for five-year term

  Name of Parliament: Chamber of Deputies; Chambre des Députés

  Ethnicity: Celtic base; one-third of residents foreign-born, many from Portugal

  Religion: 86% Roman Catholic; 13% Protestant; also Jewish and Muslim

  Language: Luxembourgish (national language); German and French

  Literacy: 99% (2003 estimate)

  Famous Exports: BCCI scandal, idea for euro, Battle of the Bulge

  Economic Big Boy: Arcelor (materials); 2004 total sales: $40.98 billion

  Per Capita GDP: $55,600 (2005 estimate)

  Unemployment: 5.5% (January 2006 Eurostat figure)

  EU Status: Founding member EEC

  Currency: Euro

  Quick Tour

  The belly button of Western Europe, landlocked Luxembourg is mountainous in her north, lushly forested to her west, and crossed by four rushing rivers. Skiing, hiking, and biking are big in the “green heart of Europe,” and on weekends out-of-towners descend on the verdant land and clog up the most popular trails. Luxembourgers are quite religious, and they are among Europe’s most knowledgeable on political issues—handy, since voting is compulsory here. They are also the Europeans who travel the most, and almost everyone is multilingual, speaking not only Luxembourgish but German, French, and often English as well.

  A third of the country’s 400,000 residents are foreign-born and a third of Luxembourg’s workforce commutes from Germany, Belgium, or France. Even more out-of-towners bank there: corporations are drawn by her buttoned-lip banking practices, but so too are the middle-class neighbors; Germans are particularly fond of Luxembourg’s financial services.

  Home to the European Court of Justice and a half dozen other EU institutions, Luxembourg is easily the most joked-about country in Western Europe: the grand duchy, thirty-two miles wide and fifty-one miles long, appears to be nothing but a big banking machine in a small boring land. But why should Luxembourgers care? They’re the wealthiest people in the world, and Luxembourg, with her dense forests and castled hills, is one of the prettiest countries. So what if everybody mixes Luxembourg up with Liechtenstein or the same-named region in Belgium? So what if nobody outside their country speaks their beloved Luxembourgish? So what if few realize how hard it was for the country, scarcely bigger than London, to maintain independence over the centuries? It just makes the place all the more special to the Luxembourgers, whose country is more like an exclusive—albeit friendly—club, where life is tranquil but sleepy. Nice restaurants abound in Luxembourg City, but the place shuts down too early, say those who like to stay up past ten. Maybe that’s why Luxembourgers are Europe’s biggest drinkers, knocking back nearly twelve liters of spirits per person every year.2

  Luxembourg City: Home of the world’s richest citizens

  LUXEMBOURG VS. LUXEMBOURG VS. LUXEMBOURG CITY VS. LIECHTENSTEIN, ETC.

  Luxembourg is a rich, independent country, and is one of the world’s major financial centers; her capital is Luxembourg City. Belgium has a region called Luxembourg: this used to be part of Luxembourg the country, but was lost in 1839. An entirely different entity, Liechtenstein is the wealthy principality that lies between Austria and Germany, and is also tiny and rich. Rosa Luxemburg, the famous Socialist, wasn’t from Luxembourg, Luxembourg, or Liechtenstein; she was born in Poland. As for the famous Luxembourg Garden, that’s in Paris.

  The land that fell out of a fairy tale isn’t known for snow-white wholesomeness in the financial department. The world’s seventh-biggest financial center, she’s home to 200 foreign banking institutions. One of the most famous was “rogue bank” BCCI (a Pakistani-Arab Emirates institution closed in 1991 amid a huge flap about money laundering), but plenty of other iffy-sounding banks and businesses have their overseas headquarters here. High interest rates, low tax rates, and bank secrecy have made Luxembourg an attractive money launderette and tax-evasion center, although new laws have been enacted that are sure to prevent that—wink wink.

  STICKY FINGERS, DIRTY MONEY, AND GENERAL GRIME

  Who knows what is really going on in the back rooms of Luxembourg’s banks, but a lot seems not to be aboveboard. Here are but a few clues that the business conducted out of the country isn’t always squeaky clean:

  1991: Important U.S. bank First American is found to be controlled by a money-laundering bank in Luxembourg; BCCI closed down after money-laundering scandal involving mujahideen financing and money laundering for Colombian drug cartel.

  1994: Employees of KBLux bank steal equivalent of $9 million.

  1999: Luxembourg’s ex-prime minister Jacques Santer, the president of the European Commission, is forced to resign along with the whole European Commission on charges of corruption.

  2000: Pressure from EU to lift banking secrecy laws after more charges that Luxembourg banks are involved in money laundering and fraudulent operations.

  2002: Swiss career diplomat Peter Friederich charged with laundering drug money—proof that Luxembourg does know how to enforce her money-laundering laws; French government denounces Luxembourg as a haven for financial crime—alarming when such accusations come from the less-than-lily-white French.

  2003: European Commission’s statistical arm, Eurostat, headquartered in Luxembourg, is caught in numerous shady financial dealings, including bogus invoices from fake companies to fund an account for volleyball teams and expensive holidays.

  Luxembourger Pierre Werner—twice the country’s prime minister—is called the
“father of the euro,” but he called his 1960 idea for a common currency the “euror”—which, besides not exactly rolling off the tongue, sounds like a combination of “error” and “führer”—two words Europeans definitely didn’t want connected with their cash. The idea he planted finally came to fruition in 2002, when the euro became the EU’s common currency.

  History Review

  It all began with a big rock—an outcropping, actually—in the middle of nowhere, looking out over some pretty woods and hills. Upon that rock, Siegefroid, the Count of Ardennes, began constructing a castle in AD 963 that would be so heavily fortified over the coming centuries that the triple-walled fortress was known as the Gibraltar of the North. Peering down over what is today the capital, Gibraltar Junior wasn’t terribly effective in keeping Luxembourg safe from being invaded by the neighbors or from being handed over as a land bonus in treaties. Over the years, Luxembourg was yanked into the Austrian Empire, then Burgundy, then Napoleonic France, and later tossed to the king of the Netherlands.

  In 1830, when politically part of the Netherlands, Belgium and Luxembourg rebelled against the ruling Dutch king. As a result, Belgium became independent and Luxembourg was ultimately split in two—the French-speaking half went with Belgium. Luxembourg gained a measure of autonomy with the little land she had left in 1839. The territory was dirt poor and so lacking in opportunity that a fifth of the population hightailed it over to the United States over the next sixty years. Full independence was at last achieved in 1867.

 

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