by Raven Rivers
She’d wasted many sleepless days and nights trying to work out all the thousand and one seemingly inconsequential mistakes that ended up with her alone in a dark cave with a sociopath like Calvin. It was the kind of thing that only happened in television crime dramas, movies, or deeply disturbing news stories. All these years later, she still blamed herself for going against her better judgment and attending the prom with him. Her parents had pressured her into it, but she should have put her foot down. She should have been strong.
Naturally, with memories of her abduction came lust-laden memories of her handsome Russian rescuer. She could remember the day Yuri Kozlov came into her life like it was yesterday. She was just seventeen and couldn’t take her eyes off of him. With his piercing blue eyes and angular jaw, he looked like he could have been a model had he chosen another path in life. She’d been too nervous to approach him, stealing glances at him as they passed each other in the hall, and was elated when he’d finally spoken to her in his thick Russian accent that made her melt. Although it was over before it truly began, it was easily the most important relationship of her life. Then again, it had also been her only relationship as she hadn’t dated anybody since.
Why did she still become aroused just thinking of the handsome Russian ten long years later? Perhaps it was because Yuri was her first and only, and he was damn good. Granted she had no way of measuring since she’d never been with anyone else, but she couldn’t imagine anyone touching her the way he did. Then again, it might have been because they were bonded together by trauma at such a young age. She couldn’t help but wonder if he ever thought of that incident. Saving her from that cave where she was beaten and would have likely been raped and killed. Surely he couldn’t have forgotten such a significant event, right?
None of it mattered anymore, she reminded herself. It was all in the past. She’d run away and was safe in her own home a thousand miles away from the danger of her youth. There was no one to tell her what to do, control her every move, or do unspeakable things to her. She no longer had to be perfect. No longer had to smile whenever they said so, or dance to whatever tune they chose for her. She was a twenty-eight-year-old woman and totally in charge of her own destiny.
Of course, Jade knew that was bullshit the very second the thought popped into her head. Though she wasn’t a shut-in, she was damn close. She’d completed her degree mostly by taking online classes and worked from home. Being out and about left her feeling vulnerable and exposed. Damn Calvin McMillian for turning her life upside down and destroying her belief in the inherent goodness of humankind. She was also well aware that he could still find her if he tried hard enough. After all, she was an established author whose books were published under her real name. She would have used a pseudonym had she thought her first book would actually get released. When it did, and surprisingly became a hit, it was too late to begin using an alias.
Groping roughly for the shower handle, she turned off the water and sighed deeply. As she briskly rubbed the thick towel across her skin, she wondered if she’d hate him for the rest of her life. Calvin was pure evil and had cost her everything a person was supposed to value in life, leaving her broken, hopeless, and lonely. On the surface she was a successful writer who lived a comfortable lifestyle in her nice, modern home. Inside, however, was a void she didn’t think would ever be filled.
Jade made herself a warm cup of hot chocolate after tugging on comfortable pajamas. Settling down with her laptop, she opened her latest work in progress. Her eyes gleamed with satisfaction as she noted how close to finished her latest dark thriller was. A couple more chapters and it would finally be done. Writing was her lover now and comforted her when the memories of her past crept forward.
Sinking into her writing, she imagined herself on a snowy mountain side.
Jennifer was flying, buckled safely in her seat one moment and face down in the snow the next. She tried to pick herself up but her aching body simply wouldn’t respond. Slowly becoming aware of sharp pricks of pain shooting through her palms, she concentrated and was barely able to push herself off the ground. She glanced over her shoulder and saw, much to her horror, that the small jet had crashed and was now engulfed in flames.
She could see Cedrick struggling to get out of his seat, a panicked look on his face. Jennifer struggled to her knees, then her feet, and moved toward the burning plane. She made it to him, jerked the knife she knew he always kept in his boot out, and cut through the safety belt. After pulling him from the wreckage, they took about ten steps before he fell to his knees in pain, and that’s when she realized something was wrong with his arm. It was hanging limply at his side, a huge gash gushing blood at an alarming rate. Thinking quickly, she tore a piece of her shirt off and pressed it over the wound. Mustering all of the strength left in her, she helped him to his feet and they made it another ten steps before collapsing again.
Jennifer looked down into her security officer’s eyes, then at the flaming wreckage of the plane. A thousand miles away from civilization and stranded on the side of a cold mountain, she was well aware of how screwed they were. She had to smile as she said, “If I have to be lost in the wilderness with someone, I’m glad it’s you, Cedrick.”
His lopsided smile was back in an instant, and they began to assess their situation. Their plane was destroyed, the pilot slumped over dead in the cockpit with fire threatening to consume his lifeless body. So far removed from the rest of the world, they had no way to call for help and no supplies for survival.
“We need one of the emergency packs from the plane,” Jennifer told him.
“Not sure if you’ve noticed, but your plane is on fire, Jenny,” Cedrick replied sarcastically.
Grabbing his hand, she pressed it over his wound and fearlessly began running for the plane again. She made it fairly close but the gas tank exploded, blowing her onto her back. She was now back to square one, face down in the snow, yet had to smile to herself a little. Honestly, if she would just listen to Cedrick, she would live a hell of a lot longer. She tried to push herself up again but could only lift her upper torso. Defeated, she looked at Cedrick who just shook his head. Their situation was grim. Jennifer realized for the first time that they were both going to die on the side of this mountain.
Rough drafts were fun to write, Jade thought, pulling herself out of the story, because every revision was a personal challenge to better the narrative and presentation. She’d get so swept away in her writing that, for at least a brief moment, she would forget all about Calvin McMillan and the full life he’d robbed her of.
Chapter 7
Dreams of Days Past
Yuri
His unwilling visitor stood in his foyer, turning a full circle as she looked around in awe. “Wow, this is your place? I always wondered how the other half lived and now I know.”
Trisha hesitantly followed him into his living room where he gestured for her to take a seat on his nice leather sofa. She did as instructed and he headed over to the room’s small mini bar, pouring them both a drink. She sat for a second, impressed by the large apartment he’d rented in downtown Manhattan.
“I’m sorry,” she went on. “I didn’t think your offer was legit. I’m not even trying to put my safety on the line with a perfect stranger.”
Handing her a drink, Yuri sat on the sofa facing her. “Being wary around strange men is a fine quality for a beautiful woman to have. It will keep you safe when all else fails you in this world.”
“You have a nice way about you,” she said, blushing.
This one was truly naive if she thought anything about him was nice, Yuri mused as he took a sip of his drink. He’d been so busy getting the East Coast operation running smoothly that he hadn’t had much time to relax. This was the first drink he’d had in months, but he was more intoxicated by the woman sitting beside him.
“Thank you, Ms. Trisha,” he smiled. He could have corrected her, told her just a handful of the appalling things he’d done of the years, but h
e chose to let her comment slide. For now, he’d let her think he was a nice guy. “I’ll try to make your stay here as pleasant as possible.”
They talked for a bit, and he could sense that she didn’t fear him. Rather, she seemed intrigued by him and the life he lived. After a few drinks, he showed her to the guest room she’d be staying in and offered her full access to anything she might need. The posh apartment was available for her to use freely with the condition that she wasn’t to leave. She could help herself to whatever she wanted, but stepping outside wasn’t an option until his slimey accountant had paid him back in full… with interest. Feeling more like a guest than somebody who’d essentially been kidnapped, she agreed to his terms. He got the feeling that she wanted to stay and would rather sleep in his furnished guest bedroom as opposed to her friend’s small sofa. He left after saying a polite goodnight, leaving her at a loss for words. She’d clearly expected him to make a move on her, yet he hadn’t. Instead, he’d been a gentleman and a good host. That alone piqued her curiosity enough to stay. Gently closing the door behind him, he headed to his room to call it a night. If he woke up in the morning and she was gone, so be it. However, his gut told him she’d still be there.
Meeting the lovely dark-skinned beauty had triggered a hundred memories, good and bad, and they were all stampeding through his head like a band of wild horses. Pulling off his suit and placing his gold watch on the nightstand, he climbed between the crisp white sheets of his bed and pulled the duvet up to his chest. Misery swamped every corner of his mind. Unfortunately, no amount of fighting, drinking, or sex could drive the beautiful Jade out of his heart. God knew he’d tried and failed so many times over the years. Trish was stunning, and quite tempting, but she was no replacement for Jade Reinhold.
Tossing and turning, he tried to get comfortable. As sleep finally took him, his mind drifted back to the only months in his life that were truly enjoyable. Jade’s large, innocent brown eyes, luscious lips, and the delicate scent of her body came flooding back, as vivid now as the day he’d first set eyes on her. Memories rose in his mind of the first time he met his childhood sweetheart a little over ten years earlier. He was the new kid in school, a Russian immigrant with a thick accent and an attitude. Fortunately, the school had a decent exchange program and he quickly befriended Mikael, Karl, and Luka, who were thrilled to buddy up with somebody else from their homeland. The four of them were soon thick as thieves and a bad influence on each other. Yuri became the ring leader with his powerful presence, his domineering personality being something the others looked up to and respected. He had a lot of his father in him, including his father’s anger. Yet, unlike his father, he lacked a temper and always remained calm and collected. He could be charming, and used that charm to get what he wanted. Still angry that his mother had uprooted him and brought him to America against his will, he began lashing out by committing petty crimes with the help of his new comrades. He used his charm to get him out of trouble on more than a few occasions, talking his way out of situations that would have landed others behind bars.
Yuri was used to getting looks at school, being the new kid and all. One girl, however, always looked at him just a bit longer than the rest. She was beautiful, her dark skin a stark contrast to his, and her brown eyes were big and welcoming. Her long, dark hair fell to the small of her back, and she was always dressed nicely in high-end clothes that reeked of money. He’d catch her staring at him and she’d sheepishly look away when their eyes met. When they passed in the halls, he could sense her purposely trying not to notice him. When she didn’t think he was looking, though, he could feel her gaze on him. After a month of this, he’d finally had enough and approached her at her locker. As charming as he was around his small crew and people of authority, he was still awkward and naive when it came to women. Why was she always looking at him? Though her eyes were kind and inviting, the chip on his shoulder told him she must have a problem with him. Perhaps she didn’t like the way he dressed, or the tattoos on his arms? After all, it was a respected school in a nice community and he was the only one with any ink. That alone set him apart from everyone else. A mixture of paranoia and suspicion drive him to to confront her as she stood at her locker between classes.
“Hey,” he blurted, startling her as she was reaching for a textbook. She hadn’t seen him sidle up next to her.
“Hey,” she echoed, sounding a bit nervous as she purposely avoided his eyes.
“Why are you always looking at me?” he asked bluntly, catching her off guard once again.
“What?” she asked, fumbling around in her locker for nothing in particular.
“You’re always looking at me,” he replied. “You don’t think I see you, but I do. What’s your problem?”
“I… I don’t have a problem,” she stammered as she let out a nervous chuckle.
“Then why are you always looking at me?” he asked again. “You got something you want to say to me?” he added defensively.
“What? No! It’s not like that,” she said, closing her locker and finally meeting his gaze. He could feel a sudden electricity between them as their eyes locked. “I just… I just think you have really pretty eyes,” she finished shyly, then swallowed hard as she awaited his response.
That was not what he was expecting her to say. He’d been gearing up for a confrontation, not a compliment. Her words took him aback and he frantically searched for a reply. He was usually a smooth talker, but her words had completely knocked him for a loop.
“You do?” he clumsily asked, still unable to regain his bearings.
“Yes,” she laughed, amused by his sudden awkwardness. “You’re new here, aren’t you?”
“I am,” he nodded, still trying to regain his composure. “From Russia.”
“I love your accent,” she smiled. “My name’s Jade. You’re Yuri, right?”
“I am,” he nodded again, well aware that she’d reduced him to a bumbling idiot.
“You’re cute,” she said, laughing again.
“Thank you,” he blushed, quickly realizing how bad he was around women. His usual confidence and charm had flown directly out the window. He was glad Mikael, Karl, and Luka weren’t here to see this side of him. Thankfully, he was able to reel in a little charm before making a total fool of himself. “You’re quite beautiful,” he told her, smiling warmly as his confidence returned.
The two spoke for another minute before the bell rang, summoning them to their next class. At the end of the school day he found her at her locker and smoothly asked to walk her home. She joked that it wasn’t the 1950’s and told him that she lived too far away to walk. With an embarrassed groan, she admitted that she still took the bus since her parents weren’t helping her with a car until she turned eighteen. He insisted on riding the bus with her, assuring her that he could easily find a way home. He’d only been in America for a little over a month and didn’t have any wheels yet, but he knew Karl did and he was only a phone call away.
She took him up on his offer and they spent the ride getting to know each other better. There was an instant connection between them despite their differences, and she eagerly agreed to see him again. He knew he needed his own wheels if he wanted to spend time with her outside of school, so he began slinging dope for a local dealer and soon got Mikael, Karl, and Luka in on the action. It didn’t take long for him to buy a used car, and although it was nothing special, it was all he needed to see more of Jade. Two months later, they made love in the back seat when they were no longer able to control their lust for one other.
Tossing and turning in his sleep, Yuri fought the visions that swirled in his mind. Ten years later and he was still dreaming about Jade, the girl he’d foolishly let get away. He should have told he loved her after saving her from Calvin McMillan. He should have held her tight and never let go. Instead, she took off into the night and he’d never heard from her again. Wherever she was, he wondered if she ever thought about him, too.
Chapter 8
Jade
Sitting at a table with the media escort assigned by her publisher, Jade switched on all the charm she could muster. This was her fifth stop in three days and the grind was starting to wear her down. Meeting strangers always ratcheted up her anxiety a bit, and meeting hundreds of them in such a short period of time threatened to tip her over the edge.
Forcing herself to stay calm, she signed autographs, smiled, and allowed fans to take selfies with her. Getting a book signing tour was a vote of confidence by her publishing company. For a girl who wrote dark thrillers, it felt a bit like being afforded temporary rock star status. The experience was turning out to be amazing, exciting, and more than a little nerve-racking. Fan turnout was greater than anticipated, and she appreciated each and every one, but a small part of her worried Calvin might pop out of the crowd somewhere. That she’d go to sign a book, look up, and it would be him. Of course, she knew this was an outlandish thought, yet she couldn’t push it from her mind.
Mandy shoved a granola bar and cup of warm coffee into her hands during the first lull in the line. “You doing okay, Jade?”
Taking a quick sip of the strong brew, Jade realized it was just what she needed on this chilly October morning. “Yeah. Thanks for the coffee. This place is really hopping.”
“You’re doing a great job of staying upbeat and positive,” Mandy grinned as she straightened a stack of paperbacks. I know how hard it can be when they pack your schedule with more than one signing a day. We’re just trying to maximize your exposure.”